Reality

“No, no, no. Not good enough.”

“Don’t be so harsh on yourself,” Yuri gives comfort with a sympathetic smile. “I like what you’ve done.”

“It probably should be in a higher register,” you comment blandly. “It feels out of place.”

“Hey!” Yuri is shooting you daggers. “She did well enough. Her falsetto is amazing.” She gives you a mock stern look then and waggles a finger. “We can re-record this part, Isa, we have all the time in the world.”

Isa looks stressed, yet she’s trying very hard to keep that same sweet, saccharine persona, even though her quivering lip gives away her annoyance. “Could I maybe try—”

“Coffee break!” Yuri interrupts in exclamation, jumping off her stool. Yuri points a finger at both you and Isa. “Let’s go! You and you.”

She skips out of the booth, leaving you and the disgruntled Isa following suit. Your walk to the coffee shop next door is an awkward one. Yuri skips ahead in her positively excited manner as if she had not a care in the world. While Isa, a girl you’ve spoken to a handful of times, walks silently by your side. She has her arms wrapped protectively around herself, and her bobbed hair bounces a little with each step, it’s rather adorable.

Yuri stops you at the door.

“You have my card right? Three of my usual, okay?”

“Sure thing, boss,” you say with a wry smile, she hates when you call her that.

The two girls sit in a booth and by the time you have queued, ordered, paid and collected, they’re embroiled in conversation. You take a seat at Yuri’s side after putting the drinks in the middle of the table.

“So your company isn’t paying for any of this?” Isa asks.

“Nope, they’re doing the marketing and stuff, but the production is self-funded. I can do it better myself.” Yuri pauses to look at you expectantly. You place a coffee in front of her, which she sips before continuing. “Oh, Isa, I ordered my favourite for us all, a salted caramel mocha!”

“One of my favourites.” Isa smiles for the first time in almost an hour. It suits her, making her eyes glimmer like emeralds.

“I knew it! We have similar tastes in everything, me and you.” Yuri lays a hand on Isa’s arm in such an overfamiliar way that you worry about the consequences, though Isa doesn’t seem too concerned about your boss’s usual forward manner, rather she appears charmed by it.

“So how do you afford it all? Does the solo stuff pay that well?”

“Um, not really.” Yuri gives you a quick side-eye. “I actually use my… other income to fund my music.”

“Oh?” Isa quirks her head to the side adorably.

Careful Yuri. This probably isn’t the time, the place or the person for this. Though you have to blindly trust Yuri here, interrupting could just cause more questions. The only real option you have is to just wait and see where she takes this.

“Yep,” Yuri states plainly and clearly. “My assistant here actually runs it all, he knows more about it than me.” Yuri smiles the sweetest of smiles at you, hiding that mischievous feeling inside.

“Oh really? What do you do?” Isa asks.

You raise a brow at her, wordlessly letting Yuri know that you’re not on board with the direction she has taken. Yuri, in turn, throws you those wide eyes of hers that tell you in no uncertain terms ‘Just roll with it!’ and you’re powerless to do anything else.

Isa prods at the silence with a renewed question, “Isn’t it some kind of social media thing?”

Yuri laughs quietly into her hand.

“Uh, well, kinda,” you hesitate. “The money comes from donations, monthly subscriptions, that kind of thing. And we make most of it through creating and posting content.”

“Ohh…” A gentle hmmm fills the booth as Isa looks from you to Yuri and then back to you again. “Okay…”

“Show her,” Yuri prods you.

“Should we really—”

“What if I sign up?” Isa offers.

“You want to sign up?” Yuri laughs in surprise.

“Mm… You think I should or not?” Isa asks.

“Depends what you’re into,” Yuri teases. All the while you have been reluctantly pulling up Yuri’s page on your phone, you shoot a cautious glance to your boss but she pays no heed and just motions with a hand for you to slide your phone to Isa. You do, hesitantly. Isa studies it, her eyes roving about the page while she drinks from her drink. Yuri’s tongue runs along her lower lip, waiting for any response, or just the right moment to continue pushing, you can’t quite tell.

“Are those your…?”

“Legs.”

“And is that your…?

"Ass.”

It’s just the homepage, with the completely anonymous name that in no way ties back to the girl at your side, and the banner, a picture from the waist down of a naked Yuri posing by a window. The lighting was warm and the shadows alluring. A filter casts a rosy shade on the entire thing.

“How long have you been doing this? Do many people subscribe?” Isa hands the phone back over to you.

“A year and a half now, and yes,” Yuri preens and continues to add a note of superiority, “Plenty of people do, Isa.”

“Wait. So this is anonymous, right? Who knows about this?”

“No one outside of this booth,” you tell her, with a hint of authority, to warn her of sharing it beyond this circle of trust that Yuri has created.

“The fans don’t know it’s me,” Yuri adds, “they think that I’m just some girl. So, Isa, still want to subscribe?” Yuri jokes, now that the other girl knows what she inadvertently agreed to.

“Well, I would like to see what’s on there.” A sudden panic sets on her face. “Not to be weird or anything! Just… curiosity.”

“That’s cute,” Yuri giggles. “We should really go back to the studio now.”

“One last thing,” Isa halts Yuri. “Is it fun? Why do you do it?”

Yuri thinks a little about her answer, she clearly understands the gravity of what she’s saying to the unsuspecting idol here, she doesn’t want to get carried away or come off the wrong way.

“It is fun. It’s empowering, it’s exciting, it’s an amazing feeling to be desired by thousands of people. Some might call it narcissism, and honestly, I see why, and maybe it’s that, I don’t know. I don’t believe so, anyway. It makes me feel sexy and a lot of people like it,” Yuri smiles, “Besides, it’s not a million miles away from being an idol.”

“What?” Isa chokes on her drink.

“Come on. Half the reason we idols exist is for people’s romantic or sexual fantasies. That’s the reality of it all. And if men and women are going to touch themselves to your fancams Isa, you might as well start making them pay for it. Right?”

Yuri says her piece and then nudges you to let her out of the booth, while Isa sits in some cold contemplation. Nothing Yuri said is news to her, but it’s not something she likes to think about. When fans adore you, you never consider all the implications. All Isa can think of now is herself on the internet, in magazines, and being undressed in fans’ heads.