Don’t Do This To Me

The bell chimed and Gaeul didn’t bother glancing at the door anymore. 

A part of her was already tired of making herself feel like a fool, so she refused to think that today was going to be different. 

It took a while for the feeling to settle in. 

She hated it. 

She hated how she allowed this to happen again. Wonyoung froze, an obvious hurt in her face but Gaeul's gaze didn’t waver. 

Fool her once, shame on Wonyoung, but fool her twice? Then shame on her then. 

It was as simple as that. Was it even possible to feel left behind by the same person twice? 

This wasn’t fair. 

Gaeul told herself that no matter what happened, she wasn’t going to let Wonyoung into her life again. Even if she had an excuse, even if she begged, and even if she asked for forgiveness. Gaeul could accept the apology but that was the most she could do. 

This entire thing had drained her without her realizing it, and that was the scariest part about it. Because she wasn’t able to tell. She felt the threat, but she was also swayed by how Wonyoung showed her interest, how she made Gaeul believe that she remembered their past, that they could start again. 

Gaeul was smarter than this. How could it happen again?

So this time, no matter what—as she was telling herself a hundred times—she wasn’t going to let Wonyoung in. 

It just wasn’t fair. 

Why was Gaeul the only one suffering?

Why couldn’t Wonyoung feel the same thing? Why couldn’t she be in pain as well? Why couldn’t she be suffering in the same way Gaeul was? 

It wasn’t fair.

“What’s with the sudden coffee purge?” her sister asked over the phone, it was supposed to sound sympathetic but they both know Jinyoung wasn’t capable of the sort. “I thought you started loving coffee?”

Wonyoung sighed. “It’s been giving me headaches lately, so I decided to lay off for the meantime,” she lied, hoping that answer was enough. 

Her sister scoffed. “You’re a horrible liar, you know that?”

That made Wonyoung’s hands still, the pen stopped mid-stroke. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath. She didn’t want to tell her the truth.

It wasn’t like she could tell her sister that the only coffee she wanted was created carefully by the person that was making her chest hurt and her heart to throb painfully. Jinyoung remembered Gaeul, so mentioning her would be a bad idea.

“I’m not lying, you keep thinking I’m lying when I’m not,” Wonyoung argued back. It sounded like their usual arguments when they were still kids. Wonyoung could easily give a reason, but she decided to be a child again. 

Jinyoung started laughing at her. “I’m just pulling your leg. But good to know I can still make you this pissed off by something so mundane.” 

Wonyoung sighed deeper, a smile inevitably forming in her face. “Good to know you’re still a big gaping butthole.” 

“Hey—“ Jinyoung’s voice came through quickly and sharply. “How dare you talk to me like that. I am your big sister, you have to respect me—“ Jinyoung snorted and then started laughing. “Okay, I can’t finish that.”

For the first time that week, Wonyoung broke out into a genuine smile, shoulders shaking as she was trying to hold on her laughter. She shook her head fondly, knowing that Jinyoung was making an impersonation of their older cousin. 

She sighed. “You’re weird.” 

“You’re weird,” Jinyoung answered back. “You gotta give yourself a break. You’re too young to be so stressed out like this.” 

Wonyoung fiddled with the pen in her hand. “Well, if only there were less expectations and less work to do, then yeah, I could easily take your advice.” 

Her sister hummed in contemplation. “You can start small,” she said.  

That made Wonyoung raise her brow. “Like what?” 

“Cook something.” 

The pen between her fingers stopped spinning around, her shoulders also dropping. “That’s your solution?” 

“Yeah.” 

One word answer. Like that was going to explain everything. 

Wonyoung rolled her eyes and let out a sigh, trying not to sound annoyed. “Why?” 

“Because you’ll be able to use that beautiful brain of yours to think about a recipe, try to make it on your own, and be with your thoughts where no one else is expecting you to do something,” her sister then explained, sounding equally annoyed. But then she tried to sound convincing. “You’re just cooking for yourself.” 

There was silence from Wonyoung’s side this time. Because she could clearly remember what was inside her refrigerator and the answer was going to absolutely make her sister angry. “My fridge is empty.” 

“Why?” The question came quickly. As expected, Jinyoung was using her authoritative voice to demand an answer.

Wonyoung shrugged like it was nothing. “I usually order take out.”

“Then go to the grocery store and stock up,” her sister quickly replied, deadpan. 

She sighed. “But—“

“Oh my god, you are such a child. Do you want me to ask Jiwon to force you to go?” 

That effectively shut her up. She knew how annoying this situation could be if Jiwon got involved. She started to trace small circles at the corner of the paper. “No….” 

“Then go out later,” Jinyoung said again. But when Wonyoung didn’t want to answer her, she sighed, clearly annoyed. “I’m calling Jiwon.” 

“No, unnie—” Wonyoung quickly replied, then she felt her entire body seize at the surrender and sighed once more. She shook her head. "It’s fine. I’ll go.” 

“You better. I will find out. You know that I will.” 

She scoffed, a smile breaking out again. “Okay, okay. Jeez.”

“Good,” Jinyoung said, the playfulness in her voice was slowly returning. “I expect you to send me a photo of what you make. You hear me?” 

“Yes, unnie.” Wonyoung nodded, a sudden wave of emotions washed over her, realizing how much she missed being with her sister.