Between Books and Coffee

“You’re giving me more reasons to come back here,” Yujin said after taking the sip from her cup, successfully taking Gaeul out of her thoughts. Her friend raised a brow, a charming smile on her face that always showed the dimple on her cheek. “I didn’t know you could make coffee like this.”

Gaeul looked at her, observing her reactions, wondering if they were sincere or if Yujin was just saying it because she pitied her. “I guess you can blame my brother,” she answered instead, turning around to clean the spilled coffee powder from the table, remembering the nights she spent with Hoseok because he desperately wanted her to make coffee for him while he studied for the board exam. “I can’t even make anything elaborate,” she muttered after.

Yujin nodded thoughtfully, she leaned against the counter, and Gaeul could feel her gaze. “You can always just make something simple,” she said, as if she was so sure. “A simple coffee menu, for a simple bookshop, owned by a simple person.”

That made her stop, a crack of a smile forming on her face, but she chose to keep her back to Yujin. A part of her forgot this feeling of warmth from a friend. A part of her knew that it was still different. 

Yujin was her only friend since college. One of the only friends that stuck around. They met in a book club back in college. Yujin didn’t even read books; she was just there because she saw a pretty girl enter the club room during orientation. But even after getting subtly rejected, Yujin decided to stay.

Gaeul was honestly thankful for that. Because then college life would be lonelier. Yujin sat next to her, talked, and decided then and there that they were going to be friends. Eventually, Yujin introduced her to Rei, and it was just an unspoken rule between them that Gaeul was officially part of their circle. It had always been the three of them throughout the last years of college. 

Even though they didn’t have school to keep them together, Yujin and Rei still showed up. Rei was a grounding presence, and Yujin kept her promises, even if Gaeul wasn’t sure how to believe them.

It was the only reason why Gaeul allowed them in. They were consistent, honest, and loyal.

They didn’t want to leave.

But the only thing that made her wonder for so long was why she never caught feelings for Yujin.

They were close, they shared secrets, they spent a good amount of time together, with or without Rei. Because by the fourth year of their friendship, Gaeul expected herself to feel a little something from Yujin’s presence. She was good looking as well. Charming, boyish smile, with zero talent in flirting. But there were qualities about Yujin that would make her a great partner. 

But there was nothing. Gaeul felt nothing. 

For some bizarre reason, it was different, and Gaeul didn’t want to admit that it wasn’t the same. 

Gaeul met a good amount of people, those who chose to be close, those who she thought were good looking at the first look. But nothing. 

Why was Wonyoung different?

Gaeul let out a huff at the thought of Wonyoung. 

That was the last thing she wanted to do. Setting herself up for disaster by recalling the past, forcing the feelings she kept for so long back into its grave. She didn’t want to remember the events of yesterday. She didn’t want to think about how Wonyoung looked at her, how she spoke to her, the words. 

“I’m glad I did.”

Her chest ached. 

She grabbed the cloth she left on the counter and faced Yujin. “I’ll keep this,” she said, with more certainty. “I think serving coffee is good enough for customers that want to stay.”

Yujin nodded, agreeing already even if she didn’t know what was in Gaeul’s mind. “Perfect. And if they ask for any fancy drinks with foam art on top, I can tell them to fuck off.”

That got Gaeul to crack, a snort escaped her and she shook her head fondly. “That’s not going to help me.”

“Doesn’t have to,” Yujin countered back casually. “I’m here to protect this bookstore because it means a lot to you, and you mean a lot to me.”

She sighed, conceding. The sweet words hit her in different parts of her heart. The broken, missing parts were still untouched. “Alright, I get your point.”

Yujin reached for her pocket. “Shall I pay for the coffee then?”

Gaeul shook her head immediately. “No, it’s a taste test, you shouldn’t be charged for participating.”

“But it was good coffee.”

“Still.”

Yujin huffed. “Tough crowd. Can’t I do it to support you?”

Gaeul turned around, leaned her back on the counter and crossed her arms on her chest. “You are supporting me and I appreciate you for doing so.”

Her friend took a moment to respond, looking at her empty coffee cup, contemplating. “I’m making sure Rei makes time so she can try the coffee as well,” Yujin then said. “She has to try this.”

That made Gaeul’s chest warm, the kind that always surprised her. “I hope so too, I think she would like it.”

Yujin smiled, patting her head and ruffling it a bit. “You know she will,” she said, with sincere assurance in her voice. The kind that always made Gaeul feel a little bit better about herself. Then Yujin grabbed her coat and the cup of coffee. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to—”

But her friend was already out the door. “See you tomorrow, unnie!”

Yujin was always like this with her. Her compulsiveness reminded Gaeul that it was okay to take risks, but it also told her that she needed to be more careful with impulsive decisions. Sometimes it wasn’t the best thing for her. She wasn’t like that. 

Once the door shut, the bell chiming again, Gaeul let out a sigh. She faced the coffee machine again. What an expensive thing. But doing this was going to be a good idea. Customers need more reasons to stay, and having a hot cup of coffee while reading a book was so ideal, even Gaeul wanted to do it herself, despite not liking coffee.

But she was sure.

This was going to be a good idea.

The bookstore was everything she wanted. She even had something to help her on the side when funds were going to be a problem. But this was her life now, and she was doing something good for herself. This was the only thing that kept her going, and she found peace with that.

Gaeul was cleaning the machine again. 

Yujin and Rei already left. They tried the coffee, they loved it, but this time, they insisted on paying. Gaeul couldn’t argue with them even if she tried. They were just there to help and they were very persuasive. 

At least she knew that this investment was a good one. She needed to let her brother know. But she could do that later.

She continued to clean the machine so that she could make a fresh batch of coffee again, thinking she needed to do another one to be sure. There were customers around that ordered a cup—with the help of Yujin and Rei—and they might come back in seconds. Gaeul didn’t mind. 

Once the coffee started brewing, the aromatic scent of coffee beans filled her senses. That made her satisfied. So she went and did other things. Fix the containers that had the beans, the stack of paper cups, and throw away the trash she made. 

The sound of the bell chimed again. 

“Welcome,” Gaeul greeted softly as the person entered. But she didn’t turn immediately. She expected it to be anyone, like the usual customers that greeted her with a nod and walked past the counter to disappear between the shelves. 

But she went still when she heard footsteps approaching the counter. Sharp, hesitant. 

Familiar.

Like she heard them before. Very recent.

That made her turn around. 

Time stood still again.

Wonyoung was there, looking at her the same way as she did yesterday. Careful, hesitant, like she wasn’t sure if she should approach the counter. 

For some reason, she looked different today. Her hair was down this time, slightly messy, less composed, and yet it fell perfectly on her shoulders. It looked like Wonyoung didn't care about what she looked like. Which was odd. 

They stared at each other for a moment, not speaking, not moving, not sure what to do. But Gaeul composed herself and remained professional. 

“Coffee?” she asked, breaking the silence.

Wonyoung blinked. Once. Twice. A few more before she started stammering again. “Y-Yeah, sure.” She looked at the machine and then nodded her head after a brief pause of contemplation. “I… I didn’t know you served coffee.”

“I just got it,” she said simply, taking one of the paper cups and gently placing it on the counter. She didn’t want to elaborate and didn't want to give Wonyoung a chance to think she wanted to keep a conversation. Then she turned to Wonyoung. “Cream and sugar?”

Wonyoung blinked again, like she was taken aback by a simple question. Her eyes darted from the small handwritten menu that was displayed on the counter, then back to Gaeul. She shook her head. “Black is fine.”

Gaeul turned around again without responding, once the coffee stopped brewing, she carefully poured it into the cup, then covered it. This was the kind of routine that made her feel sane. Pour the beans, place the cup, wait for it to stop brewing. It was a new routine, but she needed to focus on that rather than the person who asked for this cup.

She turned to place it in front of Wonyoung, not wanting to give it to her directly. She looked up to see Wonyoung turned away from the counter to look at the bookshop. Perhaps she wasn’t able to do so yesterday. 

When Wonyoung finally faced her, she carefully took the cup of coffee in her hands and stayed there. She brought the cup up to her nose and hummed. “Smells good.”

“Thank you,” Gaeul replied, convincing herself that it didn’t affect her that much. If Wonyoung didn’t like the coffee, then that was fine. Maybe it might give her a reason to stop coming here.

But still.

It didn’t erase the fact that Wonyoung came back. Twice. And on the day after the last one. There has to be a reason why. Because Wonyoung shouldn’t be this cruel to be here to torture her, and Gaeul had enough pride to prevent herself from asking questions she had since yesterday. 

“Is your work near the area?” she asked, settling with that instead.

Wonyoung hummed after taking a sip from the coffee, she still stood by the counter. “Not really,” she muttered. “I only came here because a friend told me to.”

A friend.

Gaeul should know by now that Wonyoung had made several friends through the years, and that she was allowed to make friends. Gaeul shrugged the little devil off her shoulders, and hummed in acknowledgement, not offering anything else but that.

“It feels… comforting in here,” Wonyoung added, eyes avoiding hers this time, they were solely on the cup, watching the steam waft from the cup and into the air. “I think people need places like this.”

Gaeul might take that compliment, but that only.

She nodded. “A lot of people do.”

Silence filled their space again and Gaeul wasn’t sure what to do anymore. Wonyoung had her coffee, she didn’t complain about it, and there was nothing more to say. 

Wonyoung wasn’t saying anything either, so there wasn’t a point in thinking of something to say. Gaeul shouldn’t be the one initiating everything, because then it would feel like before. Where it felt like she was chasing her. 

That was never going to happen again. Not in this lifetime. 

Gaeul turned around to start fixing the coffee machine again. 

“I read the book, by the way,” Wonyoung said, breaking their silence. 

She almost stopped what she was doing but still didn’t turn around. “That’s good.”

“I bought it.”

That made her pause, immediately glancing back at Wonyoung, trying to see if she was joking or not. But Wonyoung looked serious, anticipating Gaeul’s response. “I know…I rang it up for you,” she said slowly, as if she was talking to a child. She then reached for the drawer, opened it, and grabbed the white piece of paper. “You also left the receipt.”

Wonyoung blinked. Obviously shocked, obviously taken aback. She cleared her throat, as if that was what could shake away the embarrassment. “Right. My bad.” Gaeul handed her the receipt and Wonyoung carefully took it. “Thank you.”

Something didn’t feel right. 

“Why now?” Gaeul suddenly asked.

It seemed to have taken Wonyoung off guard as her brows immediately shot up. “Excuse me?”

Gaeul’s hand clenched her apron, her mind filled with many questions. But this wasn’t something Wonyoung would do and all of a sudden, she already was. 

Wonyoung might not be doing it on purpose, but Gaeul’s heart was fragile and she needed to guard it. “Why are you reading now?”

Like habit, Wonyoung started stammering again. “I… I don’t know. I thought it might be good to try it,” she answered carefully after composing herself. Her eyes looked down at the cup in her hands. “I finally can see why people do it so much.”

People.

Or her. 

Gaeul shouldn’t be assuming. But she also couldn’t trust this. 

She couldn’t trust Wonyoung. 

“There’s an empty seat by the window,” Gaeul said. Voice flat, polite, and professional. Then she pointed to the window, and an empty table by it. “You can sit there if you’re staying.”

Wonyoung nodded, then she looked at Gaeul, their eyes meeting for a brief moment. “I am,” she said, not stammering, not unsure. She said it directly. Like it was supposed to reach Gaeul. Then Wonyoung bowed before turning away. “Thank you.”

There was a knock on the doorframe and that made her look up.

“Coffee?” Jiwon asked, raising a brow.

Wonyoung contemplated before she answered. She could still feel Gaeul’s coffee on her tongue. Memories of their encounter that day played in her head. Her jaw clenched. She didn’t want to wash it off.

Not yet.

She shook her head. “No, thank you.”

“Alright,” her secretary said, but before she left, she stared at Wonyoung for a moment. She noticed and raised a brow. “You’ve been staring at that document for a while.”

Wonyoung’s brows furrowed. “I’m not,” she lied. “I know what this is about.”

Jiwon then sighed, visibly unconvinced. Luckily, she didn’t pry. “Don’t overwork yourself.”

That made her sigh, nodded her head in understanding. “You too.”

“I’m not the CEO here,” Jiwon replied blandly.

She sighed, her forehead leaning on her hand. “Go home, Jiwon.”

Jiwon giggled. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The moment she was alone in her office, she went back to the document. She remembered what Jiwon said and that made her scoff. Wonyoung took a good moment to clear her mind and go through the papers again. 

Her shoulders fell. 

She really didn’t read this.

This was driving her insane because it was obviously starting to affect her work. Gaeul was the only thing that filled her mind. The bookshop. The first time she saw her. The time they talked again.

Her coffee.

Her face.

Her voice.

The sudden feeling of wanting to go back again—

Wonyoung’s hands clenched the folder she was holding. There was something inside her chest that was gradually getting tighter. She shook her head, trying to convince herself it was nothing. 

It was just seeing a friend after a very long time. 

A friend that still meant too much to her.