It’s Just A Dream

Soft.

Soft and wet.

Soft, wet, with a rich crunch underneath boots.

It was winter. She winced at the fact.

And it wasn't like Jimin hated the season, she just wasn’t fond of it. But maybe a reason why she tolerated it was because once winter ended, spring would roll over. And Jimin loved the spring.

But then she realized, that if it was winter then that meant there was snow.

Could that be the reason why she felt something soft and wet seeping through her clothes?

She blinked, eyes focusing on the sky above her. It was covered in white clouds, little snowflakes slowly falling from the blanketed atmosphere. She closed her eyes again for a moment.

Jimin took a deep breath in, and exhaled slowly through her mouth. Aeri always told her to do that when things got too noisy in her head or when the silence was starting to bother her.

The weather wasn’t so bad, she actually enjoyed the feeling of the snow underneath her, even if her clothes and her hair were damp and slightly cold. She fisted the ground, gathering the snow into her palms and took the time to feel the textures on her skin. A smile found its way to her mouth. Maybe this was the peace she had been looking for.

“Hey!” a voice called her from a distance and that made Jimin shoot her eyes open, and she sprang up from the snowy ground.

Jimin looked around to see where the noise was coming from, and when the voice called again, she turned the other direction, and her gaze stopped when she saw someone. There was a girl, hopping on her spot and waving her hand in the air. Jimin wasn’t sure if she should wave back but she decided to pick herself up when the girl started running towards her.

She was curious herself.

From a distance, Jimin was trying to figure out who this girl was. She definitely wasn’t any of her exes, or any of her friends. It was then when she realized, Jimin had no idea who this person was.

Her eyes went wide when this girl suddenly ran into her, closing the gap and hands gently cupping her face, bodies almost pressing onto each other. The girl in front of her had shoulder length hair, bright brown in color, she had beautiful, brown eyes and a smile that seemed to have made Jimin’s chest feel all fuzzy.

Why was this woman smiling at her? Why was her face so clear? Why was she so… beautiful?

“You okay?”

Jimin wasn’t sure what was happening. But a part of her was wishing so hard that she knew who this woman was. Because she would be lying if she didn’t think the girl was pretty. Admittedly, she would love to get to get to know this person more.

But if she was not being shallow, there was a big pull in her chest that yearned to know who this woman was. Because for a moment, Jimin felt safe, like her heart was being embraced, she felt happy and as she was looking at this girl with the brown, short hair with the beautiful eyes and the faint spot of moles plotted perfectly on her face. Jimin felt like she was… falling in love.

“Why are you crying?” the woman suddenly asked.

That made Jimin blinked, and she felt tears flowing continuously from her eyes, she really was crying. Why was she crying?

She started to panic, feeling ashamed that she was weeping in front of a stranger, and a pretty one as well. She needed to do something, hide or wipe her tears but the girl didn't allow her to move. Jimin felt immobilized when the girl held another smile, and felt soft thumbs caressing her cheek.

Her mind went quiet. “Jimin, it’s not your fault.”

Jimin gasped out loud. She suddenly woke up, immediately sitting up on her bed. Her chest was heaving, hands clenching on her shirt where her heart was, and the sweat formed in her back seemed to have pooled on her sheets.

She tried to catch her breath, eyes fixating on nothing but the wall in front of her, hands starting to shake as it gripped her shirt even tighter. She should be relieved, it wasn’t a nightmare, for the first time in a while, she didn’t have a nightmare.

But why was she still panicking?

Then there was a knock on her door.

“Y-yeah?” Jimin called out in a hoarse voice.

The door opened slowly, and she met eyes with her roommate. “I heard you gasp. You okay? Do you need water?” Chaeyoung asked carefully as she opened the door wider.

Jimin felt her breathing stabilize and nodded, quietly gasping for air. “Yes, please. I need to change.”

“Okay, wait there,” Chaeyoung said as she left the door frame.

She breathed in deeply again and exhaled, then she shook her head and got up from her bed.

God, she hated how sweaty she was, and she hated how her dreams have always made her perspire twice as much than normal.

After changing into a new and dry shirt, she sighed. Jimin was having those dreams again. Ever since the incident, her dreams have always been vivid, too vivid. It felt real and it would always end up with her panicking or shouting.

Or when the nightmares got too intense, she would wake up being held down on the bed because Aeri and Chaeyoung would say she couldn’t stop flailing and they needed to do that in case she ended up hurting herself. 

But she knew this dream was different. There was a different thumping in her heart. Not one of panic, or of her trauma or from crying.

It was something she hadn’t felt for the longest time.

Jimin closed her eyes and the image of a shorter woman, with shoulder length hair, bright brown in color, with the beautiful eyes and her smile that made her chest all fuzzy appeared in her head again. Of course she remembered it.

She didn't know if she would be able to forget about it.

It was around two in the morning and ever since she changed her shirt and drank the water Chaeyoung gave her, she couldn’t sleep.

Mina was sleeping over that night as well and the older woman offered to make her tea, which Jimin loved. Mina made the best tea. Chaeyoung was one lucky son of a bitch to have her as a girlfriend.

But even with the perfectly made tea and with her new bed sheets and clothes, Jimin couldn’t sleep. Maybe she was worried that she would have another dream. She was lucky that her recent one wasn’t the same as always, but she was worried that if she fell asleep again, it would revert back to what it used to be before.

She wasn’t really looking forward to that.

So Jimin took another deep breath and stared at her ceiling. She had to admit, she couldn’t stop thinking about that woman. Jimin knew why she was thinking about her, but she didn't really want to admit it.

There was no way that she could feel this way over someone she had never met in her life. Plus, what were the possibilities that she was real?

It was close to impossible, so Jimin could only relish in these moments temporarily, unattached, and then she could move on. But she was thankful for the brief feeling of bliss. A part of her wondered if she would be able to see this woman again on good nights.

She hoped she would.

Jimin mindlessly grabbed her phone and sent a quick text to Aeri. She knew her best friend was awake at this hour and she promised she would always contact Aeri when she had a bad dream… Well, that wasn’t the case at the moment, but she still felt compelled to talk about it.

2:23 AM

Jimin: I had another nightmare.
Jimin: But this one was different.
Jimin: There was a girl.