Sunday | April 14th, 2024 | 11:22 AM
Everything hurts. When my eyes started opening, that was the first thing that registered in my mind. It wasn't really one specific pain that I was feeling, but it felt more like a complete symphony of aches. Through the haze of it all, I could start to make out the sight of a familiar ceiling. I've woken up to it almost every morning since I started university.
My head felt like it was in a dense fog, with memories of last night floating to the surface like drowned bodies. Jinho's party. Tequila. Yeji. The bathroom. The fall from the roof.
My liver was shot, my head was pounding, and not to forget the pain from whatever bones I must've cracked in that fall. I groaned, a deep, guttural sound. My throat felt like rough sandpaper. I tried to sit up. Big mistake. A sharp, hot pain shot through my rib and I laid right back down on the bed.
I made an unmistakable commotion, accidentally waking up the girl who I didn't know was even sharing the bed with me. Chaewon mumbled for me as her eyes fluttered open at the noise.
"Babe...?" she slurred, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. My mind was short-circuiting. I don't even remember how I got back to my dorm, much less how Chaewon ended up in my bed. I won’t complain about that.
"You're alive," she said, a sleepy smile on her face.
"Yup," I winced, trying to shift in bed. "More or less."
She pulled the blanket down, revealing me sleeping in no clothes besides my boxers. Holy shit. I finally saw the damage. An impressive constellation of bruises painted the right side of my torso, ranging from angry purple to nasty yellow splotches. My chest and shoulder had them as well, like I'd fought a color pallet and lost.
"What did you do to yourself," Chaewon murmured, her gentle fingers tracing the outline of a particularly nasty bruise on my side. Her eyes suddenly looked downcast. "I lost you for one night, and Haechan's freaking out saying you died in the backyard..."
Chaewon jabbed at my bruise a bit. "You were just laying there, Minjae..."
I sighed, the motion sending another ripple of pain through my body. Looking at her, I felt really guilty knowing I put that look on her face. But even worse, I could still almost taste Yeji's ass on my tongue. I'm a piece of shit. I'm a terrible fucking boyfriend.
I scooted closer, throwing my arm around Chaewon's small frame and pulling her in close. She nuzzled her head into my chest, right on top of my less-battered pec. "I'm sorry, Chae," I said, my voice hoarse. "I must've had way too much to drink. I don't even remember falling."
"Where did you go? How did this happen?" Her questions were soft, not accusatory, but each one felt like another nail in my coffin. How could I tell her that I wasn't just drunk. That I'd had sex with my friend in the upstairs bathroom. That I'd fallen from the roof like a clumsy, pathetic burglar after stealing said friend's panties.
Speaking of which, my fucking clothes. My eyes darted around the small room, scanning for my pants. I started to feel a sense of panic. If those are still in my pockets, and Chaewon fucking undressed me and found a piece of evidence that links me to-
My clothes were in a heap off to the side of the bed, but I was more concerned with what Chaewon knew. Her wide, questioning eyes bored into me, searching my face for an answer. What did she know? I tried to read her. Was there suspicion there? Or just genuine worry for her clumsy, drunk idiot of a boyfriend?
"Just... went out back to cool off after a couple rounds. I think I needed to pee," I said, the lie tasting like acid in my mouth. "I didn't want to piss in Joy's backyard, so I thought I could climb her fence, stand and piss into the neighbor's yard or something stupid like that."
"That's stupid," she whispered into my chest.
"Yeah, well, I was drunk. I must've gotten on, tried to stand and fell backwards onto my back. Fucked me up pretty bad." I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring, dopey smile. "My own stupid fault."
I held her for a moment, listening to her breathe. Her hair smelled sweet, like something uniquely Chaewon. Her small body pressed against mine, so trusting, made my skin crawl. Does she know I'm full of shit? My heart was beating out a frantic rhythm against my bruised ribs.
Chaewon's body stiffened slightly, and I thought, she knows, she knows everything. Yeji woke up and knew I wasn't Jinho and told everyone. Fuck, Yeji, I completely forgot about her. How did she wake up? So many questions I needed answers to and I'm laying in bed half-broken and hungover.
"You're stupid," she repeated, but her tone was lighter. She poked my chest again, this time on a slightly yellowing bruise. A sharp jab of pain. "How are we going to go anywhere like this?"
It was a good question. I couldn't even sit up without feeling like I was going to split in half. I was truly, really, regretting my decisions last night. "Don't know," I grunted. "Guess I'm just gonna lie here and let you take care of me." I tried to make it sound charming.
She snorted. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" She started to get up, her arms stretching over her head in a way that was both innocent and strangely alluring. "I'll go get you some water and some aspirin. Do you need anything else, baby?"
"No, I'm good," I said, and as soon as she turned her back, I started my agonizingly slow trek to the edge of the bed. My own body was betraying me. The bruises protested with every movement. I reached over the side, my fingers straining for the heap of my clothes. I had to find out if I still had them. If they were gone, I needed to know.
Chaewon went into my small adjoining bathroom, and I heard the sound of a cabinet opening and the faucet running. "The party ended after they took you away," her voice floated out from the bathroom, echoing slightly in the tiled space. "Joy and Tzuyu cleaned up. Everyone was really worried."
I finally got a grip on my jeans, dragging them closer to me. My heart hammered against my ribs, a frantic, painful percussion. I frantically patted down the pockets. Empty. My stomach dropped. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead. She didn't take them out, did she? My wallet, my keys were still there, but no. No periwinkle silk. I scanned the floor, my eyes darting frantically under the bed and around the small room. Gone.
"Jinho was flipping out too," she continued, oblivious. "He's calling and texting Yeji, but she's not answering him. Apparently, we found her in the upstairs bathroom just passed out next to the toilet."
Her next words landed like a series of swift kicks to my gut. "She was... out of it, Jinho said. She must've been super wasted. Sana found her. Said she had vomit in her hair and all over her shirt. So gross. They had to carry her out to their car." My mind replayed it all in vivid, sickening detail. My cum swirling in the bowl. The taste of her.
"Damn," was all I could manage to croak out. I let the jeans fall from my numb fingers. Gone. Someone must've taken them from my pocket. Was it Sana when she found Yeji? No, she wouldn't have. Joy? Maybe while I was passed out in the yard? Or maybe, just maybe, they had simply fallen out during my seven-foot plummet. The idea of the panties lying somewhere in Joy's perfectly manicured grass waiting to be discovered by a lawnmower or her wealthy parents sent a new wave of panic through me. Worse than the shame was the fear of getting caught. I'm going to be found out. I am absolutely, one hundred percent, completely finished. Oh, and screwed.
A glass of water shook around in her hand as Chaewon came back, her shadow falling over the bed. Two white pills sat in her other palm. She climbed onto the bed and crawled over to me, her movements careful not to spill the water all over my bed, "Hey, doofus. Quit forcing yourself and take this."
Chaewon grabbed the clothes and my hands and replaced it with the water and pills. She threw the jeans back at the foot of my bed before sitting over me. I pushed myself up with the help of Chaewon, the sharp protest from my ribs almost making me cry out. I took the water and the pills, my hands shaking slightly, and downed them in one go. The cool liquid felt like life itself on my raw throat.
"Thanks," I mumbled, falling back against the pillows with a sharp wince, somehow already forgetting I was still bruised.
"What was that about your pants? Need your phone for your addiction to Tiktok?" she teased, poking me again in the side, this time in a relatively un-bruised spot. I flinched.
"Nah," I said, my gaze darting towards the jeans at the foot of the bed like they were a bomb about to go off. "Just making sure my wallet and keys were still there."
"They're good, I made sure to empty your pockets before I stripped you before bed," she said matter-of-factly, "Your phone's charging over there." She pointed over at my nightstand.
It felt like a confession. For a split second, I was convinced she had seen them, but no mention of the panties? Did they disappear before she got to me? The uncertainty was a constant, acidic burn in the back of my throat. Chaewon crawled over me to grab my phone for me. I grunted in pain as her knee made contact with the tender area just above my hip. "Oops, sorry baby," she cooed, before plopping back down next to me.
She lay on her side, propping her head up on her elbow to look at me. Her eyes, soft and brown, were full of a tenderness that I absolutely did not deserve. "I can't look at you without feeling a little angry," she said with a small pout.
I forced a weak laugh. "Join the club. I'm pretty pissed at myself right now."
"You're so stupid," she said again, but this time she leaned in and kissed my forehead gently. "What am I going to do with you?" Her fingers went back to tracing the patterns of my bruises. Her touch was gentle, a stark contrast to the rough violence I'd inflicted and received last night.
I let my eyes flutter closed, focusing on the sensation of her fingers on my skin. It was a tether to a world of normalcy, a world where I wasn't a monster. I let myself lie there, feeling small and broken beneath her touch.
Then my phone, which she had placed on my chest, buzzed. It was a sharp, insistent vibration that jolted me from my state of semi-consciousness. My eyes shot open. I didn't stop to check my notifications. Holy shit.
The Goobers Groupchat was certainly busy this morning. Notifications were pouring in, an unstoppable flood of red number badges next to the app icon. I had over a hundred unread messages. Most of them were goodbye texts, get home safe, pictures of me lying on the floor half-conscious in Joy's backyard with Wooyoung laughing, Haechan posing with me, and Nakyung crouching next to me, Chaewon devastated with concern.
It was nice to see everyone here so cheerful last night, completely unaware I had just spent half an hour destroying Yeji a floor above them. But that wasn't what was making my heart start to race. I scanned the conversations, frantically scrolling past the well wishes and jokes centered around me.
Nothing from Yeji, nor Jinho for a while after. They seemed to have woken up right before me because they texted just a couple minutes ago. I started reading:
Yeji
thank you guys so much for helping me surprise jinho for his birthday last night, i had so much fun!
it was the most fun i ever had
Jinhoshe says that but she was completely wasted in the bathroom the entire party lol
Yeji
i know! im so embarrassed! i dont even remember getting there!
Nakyung
omg u were a MESS
Wooyoung
first minjae now u
you guys cant drink for shit anymore
I swallowed hard. My throat was still bone dry. She doesn't remember. She doesn't remember a thing. An immense wave of relief so powerful it was dizzying washed over me, almost making me forget about the throbbing pain in my ribs. I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I let it out in a shaky whoosh.
More and more thank yous and playful jabs from the rest of the group. I scrolled back and forth until my thumb cramped, looking for anything, any trace, of suspicion. But there was nothing. Just a friend who had a little too much to drink at her boyfriend's party. I was safe.
"Get off your phone," Chaewon mumbled, her warm breath tickling my ear as she snuggled closer, burrowing her face into my uninjured shoulder. My phone nearly slipped out of my grasp. I locked the screen and set it aside. I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her even tighter against me. The feeling of her small body against mine, so solid and real, grounded me.
"Okay, okay," I said softly, my voice still hoarse. The aspirin was starting to work, dulling the sharp edges of the pain. Or maybe it was the sheer, unadulterated bliss of getting away with everything. "Just checking if anyone's making fun of me." I pressed a kiss into her hair. "I fucking love you," I had to remind myself.
"I love you too, dumbass," she sighed contentedly into my chest. The relief that flooded my body was an almost physical sensation. For the first time in twelve hours, I thought I might actually be okay. I could finally enjoy myself. I started stroking her back, slow, deliberate circles.
My phone buzzed again, an insistent rattling against the nightstand. I let it go. But it kept buzzing. "Ugh, who is that?" Chaewon grumbled, half-asleep. I just wanted to go back to sleep, see if this hangover could go away. But after the eighth buzz in a row, Chaewon lifted her head up, looking at the screen. "It's Nakyung."
"She's persistent," I said, trying to keep my voice casual. "I should see what she wants." Another buzz. "It must be important."
I reached over and picked up the phone. My pulse gave a nervous little thump:
Nakyunghellooo
yoooo
u awake
everything good?
hurts?
hello?
shitface
are you dead?
helloooo
I finally interrupted her stream of consciousness texts with a quick reply:
im not dead
beat like a bitch and tired as fuck
what do u want
She must have been staring at her phone, waiting for my reply, because three bouncing dots appeared immediately:
Nakyung
wanted to make sure everythings alright
thats all
dw bout the bluey btw
got it
Another sigh of relief left me so violently that Chaewon stirred. Thank fucking God. The tightness in my chest eased a fraction. It had to be her. Nakyung must've known and pocketed it for herself before anyone else knew, especially Chaewon. I wanted to tell her that I am forever in her debt for saving my ass a second. Third? Fourth? I was starting to lose count.
My hand dropped away, throwing my phone further than I hoped when I heard it land onto the floor beside my bed. I returned my arm onto Chaewon. She let out a little sigh, snuggling deeper into my side. "She just wanted to check on me. That's all," I said.
"Mm," Chaewon murmured, her eyes still closed. The relaxing of my muscles was immediate. All of my ends were covered. No one knew. Now, I just needed to lie here until my body stopped feeling like a bag of broken glass, and this whole nightmare could recede into a sordid little story I'd one day tell... maybe not Chaewon, but definitely Nakyung. She'd get a fucking kick out of it.
Sunday | April 14th, 2024 | 4:01 PM
At some point, it felt easier to move around. The aspirin had kicked in, dulling the constant ache in my ribs to a more manageable throb. With Chaewon's help, I eventually got out of bed. She even helped me shower and wash the pungent smell of drinking and regret off of me amidst my occasional interruptions in between the steamy water.
I can't help myself, sue me.
Besides that, we were ready for the day. Cut to now, as we left the diner I had dragged Chaewon to for a late brunch, getting ready to drive Chaewon back home.
"That hit the spot," she said, patting her stomach with a satisfied smile as she climbed into my car.
"I love that place," I agreed, easing myself into the driver's seat, the movement sending a twinge through my side. I felt ninety years old. Even walking felt like a damn chore but I came to terms that it was all on me. And that I was going to need at least a week or so of good bedrest before I started moving normally again.
Chaewon adjusted her seat back, laying back in a half-sitting, half-lying position. She usually does this for the drives between our places, sometimes taking the opportunity to take a nap for the hour and a half we're on the road. Although, I was hoping we'd talk during the drive but it's fine if she's tired. God knows I need as many hours for sleeping too.
I started to drive out from the small downtown, merging onto the empty Sunday streets that would eventually lead to the highway. The sunlight, still bright and beautiful from a great weekend of weather, warmed my face through the windshield. I took in the moment, taking a deep breath as I did so.
"Did you remember to grab my body lotion from your room?" she asked, not opening her eyes, her voice soft and lazy in the quiet car.
"Ah. Shoot. No, sorry, I forgot. I think it's still on my sink or desk maybe," I answered, my hands gripping the steering wheel.
"That's fine, I was almost out anyway. I'll buy a new one soon," Chaewon hummed contentedly and settled back into her comfortable position. Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up, her thumb swiping across the screen with practiced ease.
"Is Wooyoung blowing up the groupchat again?" I asked, glancing over at her. She gave a small chuckle that wasn't particularly happy.
"Not in that groupchat, remember?" She gave me a playful glare, "It's the girls from home."
"Oh, Sakura and the others?"
She hummed in confirmation, her eyes glued to her phone. I could see the soft glow illuminating her face. "I told the girls about what happened to you last night. Yunjin said you disappoint her. She said she thought you could handle your liquor," she said in a light and teasing tone, which I'm more than happy to take.
"Eh," I shrugged. "I can. Better than her. Just had some bad luck." I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, "Tell her I said that."
"Will do," She giggled. She was focused on the phone now, her fingers typing out a quick reply. "It was sort of funny. Now that I know you're okay, anyway. Just picturing you falling off the fence while trying to pee."
I chuckled, forming the imagery of my lie in my head to get a good laugh out of it with her, "I'm just glad I didn't piss myself while I was knocked out. Now that would've been the cherry on top."
"Ew," Chaewon scrunched up her nose, playfully slapping my arm. I flinched, to myself, when she happened to slap an area of bruising. I hid the pain. "Gross."
"Would you have broken up with me if you saw me in a pool of my own piss," I looked to my side at her.
"Yup," Chaewon deadpanned with a mischievous little grin, before she added, "Would've left you right there." She went back to her phone. I focused back on the road, merging onto the highway on-ramp.
"Damn, then I'm super glad I didn't piss myself. Near broken ribs, missing girlfriend, and shitfaced with pissed pants? Would've been the worst night of my life."
Chaewon snickered, her reply almost immediate as her fingers danced across her keyboard. "How's the pain right now?"
I considered it. "The aspirin is working magic, to be honest. I just can't twist or bend too well. Getting in and out of this car was an adventure," I admitted.
"Did you want to sleepover tonight? I'd feel bad making you drive home again," She offered. As amazing as her place over mine sounded, I couldn't overstay my welcome.
"Oh, c'mon, you know I'd say yes in a heartbeat but I have class tomorrow." I gave her an exaggerated frown, "I wish I could."
"That's good," she admired. Looking over, she was looking back at me with a look of what looked like fondness? After our argument last week, I made it a point to try and change for the better. And it felt like she was slowly noticing and being happy with these little changes. The conversation quickly dropped before I got a chance to apologize for the harsh things I said to her.
If there was something I could nitpick about Chaewon, it was that she was just as good at hiding her feelings as I am. I know she was offended by what I had to say about her but it felt like she dismissed it entirely in the past week. She's been this loving and attentive girlfriend all week, with no signs of showing any pain or strain at all. If it was possible, I would just drop it and never return to it but it didn't feel right not properly making up for the insensitive words I spewed.
The silence in the car stretched out, filled only by the quiet hum of the engine and the rumble of the tires on the asphalt. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence by any means. If anything, I felt the weight of my thoughts more than Chaewon did. I kept looking over at her as her eyelids fluttered for a second. She must've been sleepy.
“Geez that food is hitting me now,” She murmured to no one in particular. Yeah, definitely hitting a food coma.
I used some precious minutes to think of how I should apologize to her. These things take meticulous planning for a guy like me. I needed the right wording, and I wanted to make sure I said sorry in its entirety without leaving anything unresolved. As the mile markers clicked by on the roadside, Chaewon's breathing slowed.
"Chae?" I began, my voice quiet so as not to startle her if she had drifted off. "Are you still up?"
"Hmm?" she hummed her response, her eyes still closed.
"I've been meaning to say something," I paused for a few beats, "And I feel like this is as good a time as any to tell you." I felt her full attention shift to me even without looking. Her head rested on the seat, but I knew she was listening.
"Um, yeah, what." There was a guarded edge to her tone. That was to be expected.
"It's about last week," I could see from the corner of my eye that her shoulders tensed slightly.
"Oh." Her small acknowledgment hung between us.
"I was a pretty big asshole to you." I was making direct eye contact with the highway ahead of me as I spoke the words. "Honestly, there wasn't really a reason for me to argue so hard. I just... yeah," I trailed off, followed by a nervous cough. I could rehearse it in my head all I want but actually doing the talking is the harder part.
But Chaewon let out a little laugh, more like an amused exhale out of her nose. "Maybe just a little asshole-ish?" Her tone wasn't cutting. It wasn't warm, either. It was more like she was holding her breath.
"Nope, a big one." I corrected, "A full-on, Grade A, certified asshole."
She chuckled this time, more genuine.
"I shouldn't have brought up the major thing," I continued, gaining momentum now that the hard part was done. "I knew that would hurt you. It's dumb, I'm dumb, but I felt like I was losing that argument and I wanted to win. So I said the thing I knew would get under your skin just to be mean and petty. There's no excuse for it, I'm just... sorry."
It was silent for a few seconds, and it was agonizing. I kept my eyes on the road, trying to look as nonchalant as possible while my insides felt like they were tying themselves into knots. My heart hammered against my bruised ribs, a dull, persistent ache that mirrored the one in my chest.
I could feel Chaewon studying my face from the side. Then, a small smile tugged at her lips. "Did you practice that in the mirror before you said it?" she teased, her voice full of warmth.
I snuck a quick look over at her before looking back at the road. "I wish I did," I laughed.
"Thank you, Minjae. That's more than enough," she said softly. I looked over again just in time to see her reach her small hands out to me, placing them carefully on my aching thigh. "I'm sorry too. I-"
"Nah, don't even worry about it," I immediately interrupted, reaching over with one hand to hold one of hers. Her skin was always so warm and soft. "You had every right to be as mad as you were. I was acting dumb. You were worried about me, and I just, y'know..."
"Of course, I'm worried about you." Her expression softened completely. She gently intertwined her fingers with mine.
"I know that now. I appreciate that," I said, our hands holding each other. I tightened my hold on the wheel with my left hand while my right hand massaged the back of hers with my thumb. My eyes drifted to our intertwined hands resting on my bruised thigh. Her small thumb traced gentle circles over the purple splotches on my skin. A strange sense of domesticity washed over me.
"I've been going to class," I felt the need to assure her. It still felt so alien to be bragging about such a simple task. "I've been to all of them." My bruised chest puffed out just a little at the admission.
She let out a small laugh, a sweet, airy sound. "That's a big deal, yeah?" she said playfully.
"I made sure to study a bit and turn in whatever so I could see you this weekend." I wanted her to know that she was my priority.
Chaewon looked at me, pride floating in her eyes. They sharply moved around as they took in my face. She sighed and nodded to herself, "That's great.”
I was about to ask what she was so intently looking at until her smile fully returned. That genuine, bright smile that I've adored since we were back in high school. "So you've been doing all your assignments?" she asked.
"Trying my best to." I answered back with honesty.
"And that's going to get you that big fat paycheck you dream of?" That playful lilt was back in her voice.
"Absolutely," I said with a newfound confidence in myself for the first time in a while now. She adjusted herself in her seat and leaned further towards the middle console. It might be one of the hardest parts about this damn car. We wanted to have these easy and intimate moments where we could kiss or even cuddle but these stupid ass bucket seats were a bit far apart from each other.
Chaewon sighed and her other hand drew shapes onto the middle console, "Do you ever think about where you'll be in ten years?"
"In 10 years," I repeated quietly. "Yeah, a good bit." I said absentmindedly as I stared forward into the road ahead, not that my mind was focusing on it. "You?"
"Not so much," She shook her head. "Sometimes I get scared thinking that far."
I hummed, remembering Chaewon's big fear of uncertainty about her future. I could understand though, not knowing where or what you'll be doing for the rest of your life is a big pill to swallow.
"I mean, that's fair," I said. "Ten years is a long time." A few moments passed as a semi-truck flew by in the lane next to me.
"Well, what do you see when you think about it?" Chaewon pressed. She had a small pout on her face as she waited for my answer.
I considered the question. The honest answer was a confusing jumble of images and feelings I didn't fully understand myself. I can't say I had a clear vision, after all, I'm where I am purely out of spite of my parents. But if I had to describe a perfect world for myself.
"I see myself waking up," I began, testing the waters. "Waking up next to you, first of all." Chaewon rolled her eyes, playfully unimpressed, but the little smile on her face betrayed her. "Yeah. You'd be hogging all the blankets as always, and the sun would be just coming through our windows, making your hair glow."
She made a soft noise of acknowledgement, urging me to continue. "C'mon, not that, what else."
"I think we'd be living in a really nice house, a mansion if I'm lucky," I let out a laugh. "Five bedrooms, at least. Something big enough for you to walk around and get lost in." I could see her watching me carefully, processing the scene I was painting for her.
"I like our kitchen. It's big, with a white island that has enough room and space for us to cook on and have a late-night wine or a nice little breakfast on." I envisioned it so clearly. "And it's clean! It's always clean for some reason but it looks like that because we probably just renovated. No, I probably hired someone to clean for us."
She chuckled at that. "Hired help and all, mister bigshot."
"Yeah," I grinned, feeling a warmth spread through my chest that had nothing to do with her hand on my thigh. "Nice pool out back too. With a bunch of chairs and a mini bar by it so we can invite our friends over and hang out with them. We would throw little parties for the Goobers, everyone always complaining about how long the drive takes but they still show up anyways because we just have the best house."
I shot a glance at her. She was smiling, her head resting against the seat, looking at me with an expression I couldn't quite pin. "Anything else, architect?"
"Dog, definitely. And a cat. I want that, like, unexpected duo thing going in the house." I squeezed her hand gently, my thumb still drawing circles on the back of her hand. "And you'd probably be playing with the kids, or you'd be enjoying a book in the living room. Big one, with a fireplace. You'd probably have more books in there than an actual library."
"Kids?" she murmured, her thumb tracing idle patterns on my leg. "We'll have kids?"
I held a breath and looked over at her. She wasn't fazed or weirded out. Instead, her face had an unmissable light pink glaze as she looked at me with all her attention now, waiting for what I was to say next. The way she looked at me made it easy.
"Yeah," I confirmed. "I'd like some kids, maybe 2, 3 at the most."
Chaewon smiled and looked towards the front of the car, at the road ahead, she rested the back of her head back onto the seat and let out the faintest dreamy sigh she could muster. "That'd be nice."
"It would be," I said softly. And it would. The domestic little picture in my head was starting to get clearer. I'd spent so long running from my old life that I'd never stopped to imagine the next one. I was trying to build something new in my mind, and for once, I was seeing the foundation laid.
"Sounds like you've got it all figured out then," Chaewon teased, bringing me back to the present. She had sat back up properly, though she was leaning a decent bit on the middle console again.
"Just the main things," I answered with a shrug. "The interior design can use some work. The decorations can wait. I'm trusting you with all that," I chuckled as a smile was forming onto me while seeing hers. I've always had a thing for her smile.
"It's a good plan, Minjae." She said, her voice sincere as I glanced to her. She looked out the window towards the side-mirror of my car. "It's a lot."
"Yeah, I'm going to have to put in a shit ton of work." I had to admit. But this was the clearest my future had ever been to me and with her in the picture, it didn't even feel like work at all. "What about you, Chae?"
She had a wistful look in her eyes, a far-off gaze that seemed to focus on something beyond the rolling hills and distant cities flying by.
"Ten years?" I prompted, turning my hand over to give hers another little squeeze.
"I don't know," she said, her small smile turning into a slight frown for a brief moment before she was looking back towards the highway.
"Nothing?" I pushed. "At all?"
"It's not that," She tucked some hair behind her ear. "I just don't really care for mansions with swimming pools or dogs or cats running around everywhere to be honest." Chaewon didn't look my way but she gave my thigh a reassuring tap.
"That's fine. What do you want?"
She paused for a good few seconds. "I think I'd just want something comfortable." She started, "I think I'd just want a nice little place a few minutes away from the grocery store. The kids and I could go on grocery runs together without it being a whole trip like that." It was cute how it seemed that she had been having thoughts about kids in her future too.
"I don't like the thought of living in big places like that," She scrunched her face when she thought about a mansion again. "I'd like to think of my future home being more of a sanctuary. Something warm, safe, cozy, you know?"
"Yeah, I see that." And I do. I pictured it. Smaller, maybe with a porch. A porch that we can all sit on in the morning and enjoy the day starting while drinking our coffee. A garden out back, something she can tend to during the day or whatever she wants.
I guess I wouldn't mind that. I just want to live an exciting life with Chaewon, I can't really find it in me to be particular about the specifics. All of it sounded perfect, "It doesn't matter where we live, I guess. As long as we have money to do things."
"That's true," She agreed.
"I have to be the best software engineer on the planet. Fuck AI." I told myself, making a quick joke.
She hummed. "You're going to go on to do amazing things. I just know it." That's a confidence that for the longest I had lost for myself. She was right.
"What other things did you want to do?" Chaewon started to change the subject. She pulled my hand onto her lap and started playing with my fingers while we talked.
"Travel, definitely. Move, if possible," I continued.
"Woah, move? You'd want to leave everyone behind?" Chaewon's interest was piqued. She looked at me with genuine curiosity.
"Maybe," I considered it again for myself. "I mean, yeah if I could land that top tier job. There's... There's nothing left in Korea for me," I admitted. I'd made my mind on my parents a long time ago. Dad's condition did throw me for a loop but it's settled me back to thinking about me for once in my life, "I want to explore the world. See new things."
"Like a new life out in America or something?" Chaewon guessed.
"Or even Japan," I offered, "I heard the people are really nice, and it's supposed to be amazing."
"Would you actually leave Korea," Chaewon asked, sitting up a little straighter this turn. Her body language changed just a little but I still felt at ease telling her this.
"For the right chance, for sure." A confident nod. "Would that be okay with you?"
Chaewon leaned her head back and stared up at the ceiling of the car. Her features were illuminated beautifully as she bathed herself in the afternoon sun. "Sounds nice but I don't know about moving out of Korea. Like, to a whole other country."
The car settled in a comfortable hush. I adjusted my grip on the steering wheel and stole a glance at her.
She was still looking upward, lips pressed together in thought. Her thumb absentmindedly traced the seam of the passenger seat. Whatever she was thinking about, she stayed there a little longer than usual.
I waited. Eventually, her eyes drifted back toward the windshield.
"Fair enough," I said, accepting her stance. It was still so far away, ten whole years away if things did start going my way for once. We're both still barely starting our lives with college.
"I'm fine with moving, but my family..." She paused and seemed to be lost in thought on how to approach it. "I don't know if I could be that far away from them."
That surprised me, "Really? I thought you said you couldn't stand your parents bugging you all the time."
"No, not that." She shook her head slowly, a faint smile touching her lips. "They can be... a lot. But they're still my parents. If they need something, I couldn't just ignore them from thousands of miles away." I could understand that completely.
"Honestly, as long as you're there, I don't really care where we end up," I added to the conversation. "I was just talking." I squeezed her hand in an act of reassurance.
A small smile blossomed on her face. The mood lightened again, but I could see the wheels still turning in her head.
"That's stupid," She laughed. I saw her turn back to her window. I watched her for a few moments, my focus partially drifting from the road. She had a certain way about her when she was thinking. A focused little pout, her brow furrowed slightly.
I guess that's enough talking about the future for one car ride. The rest of the trip was filled with comfortable silences and soft hums from the radio. When we finally got to her city, I navigated the familiar streets all the back to her university. I'm basically a resident here now.
Pulling into the parking lot outside her dorm, I parked the car. The engine went silent, leaving us in that quiet lull that always came at the end of a car ride. For a second, we just sat there. The sun had begun to dip lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the pavement.
"Well," Chaewon said, unbuckling her seatbelt. "This is me." The click of her buckle was loud in the sudden stillness.
"Yep," I said, my own hands remaining on the steering wheel. "Thanks for staying with me the whole day,"
"Of course, dummy," She replied immediately. "Are you sure you're good to drive all the way back feeling like that?" She looked at me for what must've been the hundredth time in an hour.
"I think I'm fine," I gestured to myself, "Sore as shit, but the meds kicked in by now." Though she did have a point, but I had enough rest for me once I get back home.
"Okay," She sounded unsure, she opened the passenger door. The noise pulled a wince out of me as I turned my head slightly.
"I love you," I called out to her as I watched her gather her bag and get ready to step out.
Chaewon turned back one last time, the afternoon sun catching her in her face, making her eyes spark as they found mine. She stood outside the car now, one hand resting on the open door, the other holding her bag over her shoulder.
For a moment, she just looked at me. Not confused. Not surprised. Just quiet.
The sounds of campus drifted through the open door. A car passed somewhere behind her. A group of students laughed as they crossed the parking lot. Neither of us said anything but I waited.
Then she smiled. Small. Soft. That damn smile. She leaned back down and looked me in the eye.
"I love you too," she said softly, almost shyly. Something in my chest loosened completely, the last frayed thread of anxiety from last week's argument snapping clean away. A genuine, uninhibited smile broke across my face.
"Good," I answered, my throat a little tight. She let a snort come from her nose as a response.
"You're ridiculous," She sighed, "Drive safe, idiot."
"Get inside safe, idiot," I parroted back at her. With a chuckle, she gently closed the door, the soft thud punctuating our conversation like an end to a chapter.
Hehe, another Chaewon chapter. This one has to be my current favorite, I just like how lived in it is. I was definitely in a yearning, hopeful mood while writing this! Sigh, I'm sad. I'm in the process of drafting the next few chapters. It's with a heavy heart that I say that we are now in the final countdown. Well, we were in it for a while but now I have a definitive timeline/ending. 7. More. Chapters.
How does it feel to finally finish a story, PantyIdols? Well, frankly, I'm scared. My time in the spotlight will come to an end, will people remember me as their go-to Panties-Stealing author? What will be the point of my life if I don't have this world to check up on?
Is there anything in the works for you? Maybe. Can't make promises, but I did have a fun vision in my head for a story. Can't really see past the start, but that's show-biz. Who knows the ending off rip?
Anything you want to say to the person reading this now? I love you from the bottom of my heart. If it wasn't for continued support and love and feedback, I wouldn't have written or posted anything past Chapter 10. So, really, thank you and I hope you enjoy the last few chapters! -PI