Chapter 62: As Long as You're There, I Don't Care

Sunday | April 14th, 2024 | 11:22 AM

Everything hurts. When my eyes started opening, that was the first thing that registered in my mind. It wasn't really one specific pain that I was feeling, but it felt more like a complete symphony of aches. Through the haze of it all, I could start to make out the sight of a familiar ceiling. I've woken up to it almost every morning since I started university.

My head felt like it was in a dense fog, with memories of last night floating to the surface like drowned bodies. Jinho's party. Tequila. Yeji. The bathroom. The fall from the roof.

My liver was shot, my head was pounding, and not to forget the pain from whatever bones I must've cracked in that fall. I groaned, a deep, guttural sound. My throat felt like rough sandpaper. I tried to sit up. Big mistake. A sharp, hot pain shot through my rib and I laid right back down on the bed.

I made an unmistakable commotion, accidentally waking up the girl who I didn't know was even sharing the bed with me. Chaewon mumbled for me as her eyes fluttered open at the noise. 

"Babe...?" she slurred, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. My mind was short-circuiting. I don't even remember how I got back to my dorm, much less how Chaewon ended up in my bed. I won’t complain about that. 

"You're alive," she said, a sleepy smile on her face.

"Yup," I winced, trying to shift in bed. "More or less."

She pulled the blanket down, revealing me sleeping in no clothes besides my boxers. Holy shit. I finally saw the damage. An impressive constellation of bruises painted the right side of my torso, ranging from angry purple to nasty yellow splotches. My chest and shoulder had them as well, like I'd fought a color pallet and lost.

"What did you do to yourself," Chaewon murmured, her gentle fingers tracing the outline of a particularly nasty bruise on my side. Her eyes suddenly looked downcast. "I lost you for one night, and Haechan's freaking out saying you died in the backyard..."

Chaewon jabbed at my bruise a bit. "You were just laying there, Minjae..."

I sighed, the motion sending another ripple of pain through my body. Looking at her, I felt really guilty knowing I put that look on her face. But even worse, I could still almost taste Yeji's ass on my tongue. I'm a piece of shit. I'm a terrible fucking boyfriend.

I scooted closer, throwing my arm around Chaewon's small frame and pulling her in close. She nuzzled her head into my chest, right on top of my less-battered pec. "I'm sorry, Chae," I said, my voice hoarse. "I must've had way too much to drink. I don't even remember falling."

"Where did you go? How did this happen?" Her questions were soft, not accusatory, but each one felt like another nail in my coffin. How could I tell her that I wasn't just drunk. That I'd had sex with my friend in the upstairs bathroom. That I'd fallen from the roof like a clumsy, pathetic burglar after stealing said friend's panties.

Speaking of which, my fucking clothes. My eyes darted around the small room, scanning for my pants. I started to feel a sense of panic. If those are still in my pockets, and Chaewon fucking undressed me and found a piece of evidence that links me to-

My clothes were in a heap off to the side of the bed, but I was more concerned with what Chaewon knew. Her wide, questioning eyes bored into me, searching my face for an answer. What did she know? I tried to read her. Was there suspicion there? Or just genuine worry for her clumsy, drunk idiot of a boyfriend?

"Just... went out back to cool off after a couple rounds. I think I needed to pee," I said, the lie tasting like acid in my mouth. "I didn't want to piss in Joy's backyard, so I thought I could climb her fence, stand and piss into the neighbor's yard or something stupid like that."

"That's stupid," she whispered into my chest.

"Yeah, well, I was drunk. I must've gotten on, tried to stand and fell backwards onto my back. Fucked me up pretty bad." I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring, dopey smile. "My own stupid fault."

I held her for a moment, listening to her breathe. Her hair smelled sweet, like something uniquely Chaewon. Her small body pressed against mine, so trusting, made my skin crawl. Does she know I'm full of shit? My heart was beating out a frantic rhythm against my bruised ribs.

Chaewon's body stiffened slightly, and I thought, she knows, she knows everything. Yeji woke up and knew I wasn't Jinho and told everyone. Fuck, Yeji, I completely forgot about her. How did she wake up? So many questions I needed answers to and I'm laying in bed half-broken and hungover.

"You're stupid," she repeated, but her tone was lighter. She poked my chest again, this time on a slightly yellowing bruise. A sharp jab of pain. "How are we going to go anywhere like this?"

It was a good question. I couldn't even sit up without feeling like I was going to split in half. I was truly, really, regretting my decisions last night. "Don't know," I grunted. "Guess I'm just gonna lie here and let you take care of me." I tried to make it sound charming.

She snorted. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" She started to get up, her arms stretching over her head in a way that was both innocent and strangely alluring. "I'll go get you some water and some aspirin. Do you need anything else, baby?"

"No, I'm good," I said, and as soon as she turned her back, I started my agonizingly slow trek to the edge of the bed. My own body was betraying me. The bruises protested with every movement. I reached over the side, my fingers straining for the heap of my clothes. I had to find out if I still had them. If they were gone, I needed to know.

Chaewon went into my small adjoining bathroom, and I heard the sound of a cabinet opening and the faucet running. "The party ended after they took you away," her voice floated out from the bathroom, echoing slightly in the tiled space. "Joy and Tzuyu cleaned up. Everyone was really worried."

I finally got a grip on my jeans, dragging them closer to me. My heart hammered against my ribs, a frantic, painful percussion. I frantically patted down the pockets. Empty. My stomach dropped. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead. She didn't take them out, did she? My wallet, my keys were still there, but no. No periwinkle silk. I scanned the floor, my eyes darting frantically under the bed and around the small room. Gone.

"Jinho was flipping out too," she continued, oblivious. "He's calling and texting Yeji, but she's not answering him. Apparently, we found her in the upstairs bathroom just passed out next to the toilet."

Her next words landed like a series of swift kicks to my gut. "She was... out of it, Jinho said. She must've been super wasted. Sana found her. Said she had vomit in her hair and all over her shirt. So gross. They had to carry her out to their car." My mind replayed it all in vivid, sickening detail. My cum swirling in the bowl. The taste of her.

"Damn," was all I could manage to croak out. I let the jeans fall from my numb fingers. Gone. Someone must've taken them from my pocket. Was it Sana when she found Yeji? No, she wouldn't have. Joy? Maybe while I was passed out in the yard? Or maybe, just maybe, they had simply fallen out during my seven-foot plummet. The idea of the panties lying somewhere in Joy's perfectly manicured grass waiting to be discovered by a lawnmower or her wealthy parents sent a new wave of panic through me. Worse than the shame was the fear of getting caught. I'm going to be found out. I am absolutely, one hundred percent, completely finished. Oh, and screwed.

A glass of water shook around in her hand as Chaewon came back, her shadow falling over the bed. Two white pills sat in her other palm. She climbed onto the bed and crawled over to me, her movements careful not to spill the water all over my bed, "Hey, doofus. Quit forcing yourself and take this."

Chaewon grabbed the clothes and my hands and replaced it with the water and pills. She threw the jeans back at the foot of my bed before sitting over me. I pushed myself up with the help of Chaewon, the sharp protest from my ribs almost making me cry out. I took the water and the pills, my hands shaking slightly, and downed them in one go. The cool liquid felt like life itself on my raw throat.

"Thanks," I mumbled, falling back against the pillows with a sharp wince, somehow already forgetting I was still bruised.

"What was that about your pants? Need your phone for your addiction to Tiktok?" she teased, poking me again in the side, this time in a relatively un-bruised spot. I flinched.

"Nah," I said, my gaze darting towards the jeans at the foot of the bed like they were a bomb about to go off. "Just making sure my wallet and keys were still there."

"They're good, I made sure to empty your pockets before I stripped you before bed," she said matter-of-factly, "Your phone's charging over there." She pointed over at my nightstand.

It felt like a confession. For a split second, I was convinced she had seen them, but no mention of the panties? Did they disappear before she got to me? The uncertainty was a constant, acidic burn in the back of my throat. Chaewon crawled over me to grab my phone for me. I grunted in pain as her knee made contact with the tender area just above my hip. "Oops, sorry baby," she cooed, before plopping back down next to me.

She lay on her side, propping her head up on her elbow to look at me. Her eyes, soft and brown, were full of a tenderness that I absolutely did not deserve. "I can't look at you without feeling a little angry," she said with a small pout.

I forced a weak laugh. "Join the club. I'm pretty pissed at myself right now."

"You're so stupid," she said again, but this time she leaned in and kissed my forehead gently. "What am I going to do with you?" Her fingers went back to tracing the patterns of my bruises. Her touch was gentle, a stark contrast to the rough violence I'd inflicted and received last night.

I let my eyes flutter closed, focusing on the sensation of her fingers on my skin. It was a tether to a world of normalcy, a world where I wasn't a monster. I let myself lie there, feeling small and broken beneath her touch.

Then my phone, which she had placed on my chest, buzzed. It was a sharp, insistent vibration that jolted me from my state of semi-consciousness. My eyes shot open. I didn't stop to check my notifications. Holy shit.

The Goobers Groupchat was certainly busy this morning. Notifications were pouring in, an unstoppable flood of red number badges next to the app icon. I had over a hundred unread messages. Most of them were goodbye texts, get home safe, pictures of me lying on the floor half-conscious in Joy's backyard with Wooyoung laughing, Haechan posing with me, and Nakyung crouching next to me, Chaewon devastated with concern.

It was nice to see everyone here so cheerful last night, completely unaware I had just spent half an hour destroying Yeji a floor above them. But that wasn't what was making my heart start to race. I scanned the conversations, frantically scrolling past the well wishes and jokes centered around me.

Nothing from Yeji, nor Jinho for a while after. They seemed to have woken up right before me because they texted just a couple minutes ago. I started reading:

Yeji

thank you guys so much for helping me surprise jinho for his birthday last night, i had so much fun!

it was the most fun i ever had

Jinhoshe says that but she was completely wasted in the bathroom the entire party lol

Yeji