Chapter 53: Girl Talk and Revelations

Thursday | March 28th, 2024 | 5:55 PM

The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I was completely, utterly, even hopelessly, in despair. Standing across from a depressed Karina who just dropped the crazy news that she and Kwangmin had broken up with me, Chungha, and Ningning. The two girls were trying to comfort her but I was just stuck in place, my mind a blank slate.

I was frozen against the counter I was leaning against. My arms gripped my biceps in my crossed-armed posture. I was in shock for other reasons.

"Wait, what did you just say?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

"We broke up," Karina repeated. "He... he broke up with me." A tear rolled down her cheek, a single, glistening bead that left a trail of sadness on her perfect skin. So she didn't mispeak. My mind was reeling, the news a bombshell that shattered my carefully constructed reality.

"I'm sorry, I was just wondering, I didn't mean to-," Ningning quickly stepped in, her face with a look of concern. The conversation for the day while no customers were in was about our significant others. I, of course, had talked boldly and highly of my sweet Chaewon but once the conversation steered towards Karina's relationship, we learned about this sad development.

"No, it's okay," Karina said, wiping away a tear. "I just... I don't know what happened."

"He probably found someone better," Chungha teased, trying to lighten the mood with her usual jab at Karina. Coming from someone else, Karina probably would've burst into tears. But coming from Chungha, it just made her smile.

"No, it wasn't that. He-," Karina started but I was too scared of what she'll say next. In case you forgot, me and Kwangmin have history. History, meaning, I burst his balls breaking into his and Karina's shared apartment on a mission to steal her underwear and somehow got away with that plus more.

Maybe the threats of returning and blackmailing got to him? Was it my fault? The thought was a sickening,cold dread that settled down in the bottom of my stomach.

"I don't even know," Karina sighed, her hands coming to her face as she covered her eyes, "He just said he couldn't handle the pressure of being in a relationship with someone like me and just... left." Her shoulders started to shake, the sobs wracking her body.

"Someone like you? What does that even mean?" Chungha scoffed, her arms crossing. "You're a catch, Karina. Any guy would be lucky to have you."

I awkwardly leaned further back onto the counter and stared up at the cafe's ceiling. The weight of my guilt was crushing, a heavy blanket that I couldn't shake off after it was thrown on me.

I replayed that day in my mind. The fight I won against the man, the dark words that spilled out my mouth, the satisfaction of stealing her panties. It was a moment of pure, unadulterated power, a feeling that I had chased ever since. But now, that power came with a price. A price that Karina was paying.

"He didn't say anything else?" I asked, my voice came out a low, wavering whisper. I was scared to hear the answer, but I had to know. I had to know if I was the cause of her pain. I had to know if a part of my secret was now known to other people besides me and Nakyung. Would that mean Karina is now aware of the dangerous "panty thief" that hit her apartment and threatened to come back?

"No," Karina sniffled, her hands dropping from her face. "He just... packed his stuff and left." My breath hitched. He was gone. Just like that, with my secret of that day between him and I. He was gone. But was he really? Or was he just waiting, biding his time, plotting his revenge? The thought sent a shiver down my spine.

I couldn't imagine it, the thought of it was terrifying. One day, chilling in my bed at the dorm to hear the sound of law enforcement kicking my door in and throwing metal around my wrists. The thought of my family, my friends, finding out about my dirty little secret. It was a nightmare, a waking nightmare that I couldn't escape. I had to remind myself I was completely disguised that day, but I wasn't in the practice of masking my voice.

Although I'm certain there's no way he could’ve known it was me, the chance he recognized me off my voice alone was still there. It sent a bad shudder through my back and neck.

"Good riddance," Chungha said, her voice a low, determined growl. "You deserve better anyway."

"Maybe it's for the best," Ningning added, her voice soft and gentle. "You'll find someone who appreciates you for who you are."

I was just in my own head the entire time, blocking out the conversation. The world around me faded into a muffled, distant hum. Geez, I didn't feel like a "golden-hearted" person right now. That was for sure. It's kind of hard to feel good about yourself when you find out your actions have consequences you weren't ready for.

I let my eyes outline the contours of Karina's face. The redness of her eyes, the tear tracks on her cheeks. And I saw the pain in her eyes, the raw, unfiltered hurt of a broken heart. And I was the cause of it. I was the villain in her story. The monster in her closet. I was the reason she was crying.

All I could do was stand there, a witness to my own destruction. I sighed and bowed my head in shame, "I'm sorry to hear that, Karina."

"It's okay, Minjae," she said, forcing a small, sad smile. "I just... I need some time."

"Right," I replied. The bell above the cafe door chimed, and I was grateful for the distraction. I looked up, hoping it was a customer, a reason to escape the suffocating atmosphere. Thankfully, my wish came true, and it was a couple who had entered the cafe. Karina and Chungha, together, went into the back kitchen to talk things over while Ningning and I came forward to deal with the customers.

I tried to focus, to put on a smile, to act like everything was normal. But it wasn't. The world had shifted on its axis, and I was struggling to find my footing back on earth.

I took the order from the couple, my movements robotic, my mind a million miles away. I could feel their eyes on me, a curious, questioning gaze. I ignored them and moved on to help Ningning make drinks. The familiar routine of making boba tea was a small comfort, a temporary escape from the turmoil in my mind. The clinking of ice, the whirring of the blender, the sweet smell of syrup and tea. It was a symphony of normalcy.

"You okay?" Ningning asked, her voice a loud interruption to my thoughts. "You've been weird."

"I'm fine," I lied, my eyes fixed on the drink I was making. I turned to her with the best poker face I could make, "I thought I've always been weird."

"You are," she admitted, "I used the wrong word. You're more... distracted."

"I'm just... worried for Karina," I said, partially telling the truth. "She's going through a lot." And I was the one who put her through it.

"I know," she said, her shoulders slumping, her gaze falling to the floor. "I just hope she's okay. She didn't deserve that."

No, she didn't. I had to make this right. But how? I couldn't exactly walk up to her and say, "Hey, sorry I broke into your apartment and threatened your ex-boyfriend. By the way, have you seen your panties? I might have them."

Tsk.

"Yeah, it sucks," I said, turning my attention back to the drink. I shook the shaker with a little too much force, the ice rattling against the metal. "But she's strong. She'll get through it."

"I know," Ningning said, her voice soft. "But it's still hard to see her like this." I nodded to myself. Not really sure why I did, maybe it was the urge to relieve my guilt. That being said, my thoughts were interrupted once again when I heard a short yelp from my side.

I turned my head to see Ningning recoiled in shock as I noticed the top of a drink shaker had opened and spilled boba all over the floor and Ningning herself. The boba pearls scattered across the floor like black marbles, a sticky, sweet mess.

"Shit, I didn't close it all the way," Ningning cursed, her face a mask of frustration. I turned around to see the couple that had ordered the drinks, staring at the mess with a mix of amusement and annoyance. I turned back to Ningning, a small smile playing on my lips, the guilt inside me temporarily subsided for now I had to deal with this mess.

"Let's get this cleaned up," I said, grabbing a broom and dustpan from the corner. Ningning was groaning as she peeled her clothes off her skin that was drenched with boba. The sight was a little distracting, but I forced myself to focus on the task at hand. This isn't the first time this has happened by the way.

Ever since Ningning started working here, she tends to make a mess at least once a week. She'll spill drinks, drop cups, and even get syrup all over herself. But she's a good worker, and she's a good friend so we've learned to live with her clumsiness. 

It felt like a gust of wind hit me in the face, drawing my attention to the whispers I started to hear in my head. The usual, dark whispers that told me to do bad things. But this time, they were different. They were... clearer.

More deliberate.

I watched as Ningning peeled off her sticky shirt, her skin glistening under the cafe lights. I could see the outline of her bra, a simple, black lace thing. The thought of it sent a jolt of arousal through me, a spark of heat that was cutting slowly through the guilt and shame like a hot knife through butter.

I bet she wears a matching pair.

The thought came naturally. A simple but effective plan was forming in my head and eventually out of my mouth.

"You're sort of clumsy, aren't you?" I teased, trying to lighten the mood, my words chosen with a specific purpose. Ningning laughed and fixed her apron, to try and cover up as many of the wet spots as she could.

"Thanks for stating the obvious, genius," she quipped, her arms crossing as she looked at me. Everything was cleaned up but I was still looking at her.

"Your shirt's pretty messed up," I said, my eyes tracing the contour of her chest. I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying something else, something darker. "Maybe you should change into your spare."

"I don't have one," she said, her head tilting in confusion. Bingo.

"Huh? Do you not have spare clothes to wear?" I asked, my tone feigning surprise. Honestly, I wasn't that surprised but I had to make my reaction over the top for a reason. It worked, since Ningning looked taken back as she started remaking the drink order.