Chapter 49: "Studying" for Midterms

Monday | March 4th, 2024 | 6:49 PM

"Ugh, Minji, do you have the notes on protein construction," Kazuha whined, looking over the textbook with a frown. "I was looking at my notes and I can't find them anywhere."

"Right here," Minji answered, pulling out a neatly organized binder from her backpack. She flipped through the pages with practiced ease, her fingers tracing the lines of her own precise handwriting. "I highlighted the key concepts in yellow."

"You're a lifesaver," Kazuha said, leaning over to get a better look. Minji just nodded, her attention already back on her own textbook, a small frown of concentration on her face. The three of us were in the library, the air thick with the smell of old books and the quiet hum of concentration.

Midterms were coming up, and the library was packed. Students hunched over their desks, their faces illuminated by the stark glow of their laptops, a silent army of scholars preparing for battle. We had claimed a small table in the back corner, a little oasis of relative quiet amidst the chaos. But my mind was a million miles away. Back on that cold concrete driveway, with Chaewon's head on my shoulder and the weight of my own confession hanging in the air.

No, not now, I got to focus on studying. I don't want another series of flopped exams. I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the textbook in front of me, but the words swam before my eyes, a meaningless jumble of letters and diagrams.

"Do you guys need any help with any of the models?" Minji asked, her voice pulling me back to the present. She was holding up a complex 3D model of a molecule, her expression one of intense focus.

"God, no," Kazuha said, shaking her head. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around the basics. You're on a whole other level."

"Yeah, same," I murmured while staring at a page labelled "Primary Structure of Proteins." I tried reading the page for a third or fourth time, but nothing was getting through.

"Glad to know you're also having trouble, you've been staring at that page for 10 minutes now," Kazuha laughed, nudging my arm.

"Yeah, sorry," I said, shaking my head to clear it. "Just a lot on my mind." I closed the textbook, the dull thud echoing in the quiet of the library. I leaned back in my chair, my gaze sweeping across the sea of studious faces. "God, I need a break."

Minji didn't look up from her book, but Kazuha's head snapped up, her eyes bright with interest. "A break? Yes, yes, yes," she said, her voice a little too loud. Minji shot her a look, and she immediately lowered her voice to a whisper. "I'm about to die of boredom. Let's get coffee. Or ice cream. Or both. Let's get both."

"I don't know," I hesitated, "Not in the mood for snacks, I just meant a little rest and I'll be back in it." I wanted to get through this chapter before I left the library. My mind was still a mess, but I had to push through. I had to get this degree. I had to have a plan.

"C'mon, Minjae," Kazuha pleaded, her hands clasped together in a gesture of mock desperation. "It'll be good for you. A little bit of sugar, a little bit of caffeine. It'll help you focus."

"I think I'm going to stay here," Minji said, her eyes still glued to her book. "I'm almost done with this chapter."

"See? Minji's staying," I said, trying to use her as an excuse. "I should probably stay too."

"Minji's a robot," Kazuha shot back, her tone playful. "She doesn't need breaks. You're a human. You need a break. I'm not taking no for an answer." She stood up and grabbed my arm, pulling me to my feet. "Let's go. We'll just go on a walk outside, reset our heads."

I let out a sigh of defeat. I didn't have the energy to argue with her. "Okay, okay," I said, grabbing my phone from the table. "But only for a little while."

Minji finally looked up, a small smile playing on her lips. "Don't be too long," she said, her eyes meeting mine for a brief moment. "You have a lot of catching up to do."

"I know," I said, my voice a little sheepish. "We'll be quick."

Kazuha practically dragged me out of the library, her steps light and bouncy, a stark contrast to my heavy, reluctant ones. The campus was quiet, the late afternoon sun casting long shadows across the manicured lawns. The air was crisp and cool, a welcome relief from the stuffy, recycled air of the library.

"See?" Kazuha said, taking a deep breath and spreading her arms wide. "Isn't this better?"

"It's okay," I said, my hands shoved deep into my pockets. I didn't sound as grateful as I really was. The fresh air was welcomed by my skin.

"Just okay?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Minjae, you were a zombie in there. You needed this."

"I know," I admitted. "I just... I have a lot on my mind."

"You said that already," she laughed, stretching her arms above her head as we walked across the green. Her shirt raised up, revealing her smooth, toned midriff. "Woah," I said, my eyes drawn to her stomach. She was definitely fit. Her abs were very, and I mean very, defined. I was more jealous than anything else.

"Careful, Minjae. You got a girlfriend," she joked, noticing where my eyes were. "I work out. A lot. Ballet, you know? Does wonders for the body."

"Right," I said, shaking my head and looking away. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine," she said, her tone light and breezy. "I don't mind the attention. As long as it's respectful. Which it was." She fell into step beside me, her arms swinging freely at her sides. "So, what's on your mind? And don't say 'a lot.' Give me the details."

I let out a sigh, my gaze fixed on the path ahead. I didn't want to talk about it. Not with her, not with anyone.

"Come on, come on, silent treatment doesn't treat you. Come on," she said, nudging me with her shoulder. "What's going on in that big brain of yours? Is it Chaewon?"

"It's weird, people are quick to assume it's Chaewon when I get in my head," I said with a slight laugh. "But it's not Chaewon." I murmured as I lied through my teeth. I didn't want to lie to her, but Chaewon's business was her business and well, mine, I'd rather not share.

"Then what is it? Midterms?" she asked, her tone gentle.

"Something like that," I said, taking the easy way out. "Just feeling the pressure, you know?" I gestured vaguely at the library behind us. "All of this. The studying, the exams, the future. It's a lot."

"Fuck, tell me about it," she said, letting out a groan of frustration. "I feel like my brain is going to explode. I just want it to be over." She ran a hand through her hair, her expression a mixture of exhaustion and exasperation.

"Yeah," I said, a small smile touching my lips. "A week of sleep sounds like heaven right now."

"A whole month would be even better," she laughed. "But a week will have to do." We walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, the only sound was the crunch of our shoes on the gravel path. The sun was starting to set, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink. It was beautiful, but my mind was still a tangled mess.

"Hey, you know what?" she said, her voice bright with a sudden idea. "I'm sure she'll tell you about it but there's a party up in Chaewon's city. It's the week after midterms, you should come with. Minji's not going with me, so you could be my passenger princess. Don't make me drive up there by myself." She looked over at me, her eyes wide and pleading.

"A party?" I asked, a little surprised.

"Yeah, a party," she said, her smile widening. "It's at some guy's house. I don't know who. I just know that there's going to be a lot of people, and a lot of alcohol, and a lot of bad decisions." She paused and bumped into me, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "It'll be fun."

"I don't know," I hesitated. "I'll think about it."

"Think about it?" she said, her tone mock-offended. "It's after midterms, no more studying. An excuse to destress, you deserve it." She bumped into me again, her touch light and playful. "Plus, Chaewon will be there. I bet if you don't go, she'll find a more handsome, more athletic, more intelligent, more fun, more everything man to dance with."

I couldn't help but laugh at her dramatic performance. "You're ridiculous," I said, shaking my head. "But I'll think about it. I promise."

"Good," she said, her expression triumphant. "That's all I'm asking for." She looked up at the sky, a contented sigh escaping her lips. "It's nice out here though, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I agreed, my gaze following hers. The last rays of the sun were disappearing behind the horizon, leaving a trail of fiery colors in their wake. "It's really nice."

"See? This is what I'm talking about," she said, her voice soft. "Breaks are good for the soul." She looked over at me, her eyes shining in the fading light. "You should take them more often." She bumped into me again, a playful gesture that I was starting to get used to. "You know, you're a lot more fun when you're not staring at a textbook."

"That makes me feel good, thank you." I said sarcastically, shoving her away lightly.

She laughed, stumbling back a few steps before regaining her balance. "You know what I mean," she said, her smile unwavering.

"I know," I said, a genuine smile finally finding its way to my face. "I know." We walked in comfortable silence for a few more moments, the path ahead of us illuminated by the faint glow of the campus lights.

"Hey," she said, stopping suddenly. "You wanna get out of here? Like, really out of here. Ditch the library, ditch the studying, just go do something fun."