Chapter 49: "Studying" for Midterms

Monday | March 4th, 2024 | 6:49 PM

"Ugh, Minji, do you have the notes on protein construction," Kazuha whined, looking over the textbook with a frown. "I was looking at my notes and I can't find them anywhere."

"Right here," Minji answered, pulling out a neatly organized binder from her backpack. She flipped through the pages with practiced ease, her fingers tracing the lines of her own precise handwriting. "I highlighted the key concepts in yellow."

"You're a lifesaver," Kazuha said, leaning over to get a better look. Minji just nodded, her attention already back on her own textbook, a small frown of concentration on her face. The three of us were in the library, the air thick with the smell of old books and the quiet hum of concentration.

Midterms were coming up, and the library was packed. Students hunched over their desks, their faces illuminated by the stark glow of their laptops, a silent army of scholars preparing for battle. We had claimed a small table in the back corner, a little oasis of relative quiet amidst the chaos. But my mind was a million miles away. Back on that cold concrete driveway, with Chaewon's head on my shoulder and the weight of my own confession hanging in the air.

No, not now, I got to focus on studying. I don't want another series of flopped exams. I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the textbook in front of me, but the words swam before my eyes, a meaningless jumble of letters and diagrams.

"Do you guys need any help with any of the models?" Minji asked, her voice pulling me back to the present. She was holding up a complex 3D model of a molecule, her expression one of intense focus.

"God, no," Kazuha said, shaking her head. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around the basics. You're on a whole other level."

"Yeah, same," I murmured while staring at a page labelled "Primary Structure of Proteins." I tried reading the page for a third or fourth time, but nothing was getting through.

"Glad to know you're also having trouble, you've been staring at that page for 10 minutes now," Kazuha laughed, nudging my arm.

"Yeah, sorry," I said, shaking my head to clear it. "Just a lot on my mind." I closed the textbook, the dull thud echoing in the quiet of the library. I leaned back in my chair, my gaze sweeping across the sea of studious faces. "God, I need a break."

Minji didn't look up from her book, but Kazuha's head snapped up, her eyes bright with interest. "A break? Yes, yes, yes," she said, her voice a little too loud. Minji shot her a look, and she immediately lowered her voice to a whisper. "I'm about to die of boredom. Let's get coffee. Or ice cream. Or both. Let's get both."

"I don't know," I hesitated, "Not in the mood for snacks, I just meant a little rest and I'll be back in it." I wanted to get through this chapter before I left the library. My mind was still a mess, but I had to push through. I had to get this degree. I had to have a plan.

"C'mon, Minjae," Kazuha pleaded, her hands clasped together in a gesture of mock desperation. "It'll be good for you. A little bit of sugar, a little bit of caffeine. It'll help you focus."

"I think I'm going to stay here," Minji said, her eyes still glued to her book. "I'm almost done with this chapter."

"See? Minji's staying," I said, trying to use her as an excuse. "I should probably stay too."

"Minji's a robot," Kazuha shot back, her tone playful. "She doesn't need breaks. You're a human. You need a break. I'm not taking no for an answer." She stood up and grabbed my arm, pulling me to my feet. "Let's go. We'll just go on a walk outside, reset our heads."

I let out a sigh of defeat. I didn't have the energy to argue with her. "Okay, okay," I said, grabbing my phone from the table. "But only for a little while."

Minji finally looked up, a small smile playing on her lips. "Don't be too long," she said, her eyes meeting mine for a brief moment. "You have a lot of catching up to do."

"I know," I said, my voice a little sheepish. "We'll be quick."

Kazuha practically dragged me out of the library, her steps light and bouncy, a stark contrast to my heavy, reluctant ones. The campus was quiet, the late afternoon sun casting long shadows across the manicured lawns. The air was crisp and cool, a welcome relief from the stuffy, recycled air of the library.

"See?" Kazuha said, taking a deep breath and spreading her arms wide. "Isn't this better?"

"It's okay," I said, my hands shoved deep into my pockets. I didn't sound as grateful as I really was. The fresh air was welcomed by my skin.

"Just okay?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Minjae, you were a zombie in there. You needed this."

"I know," I admitted. "I just... I have a lot on my mind."

"You said that already," she laughed, stretching her arms above her head as we walked across the green. Her shirt raised up, revealing her smooth, toned midriff. "Woah," I said, my eyes drawn to her stomach. She was definitely fit. Her abs were very, and I mean very, defined. I was more jealous than anything else.

"Careful, Minjae. You got a girlfriend," she joked, noticing where my eyes were. "I work out. A lot. Ballet, you know? Does wonders for the body."

"Right," I said, shaking my head and looking away. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine," she said, her tone light and breezy. "I don't mind the attention. As long as it's respectful. Which it was." She fell into step beside me, her arms swinging freely at her sides. "So, what's on your mind? And don't say 'a lot.' Give me the details."

I let out a sigh, my gaze fixed on the path ahead. I didn't want to talk about it. Not with her, not with anyone.

"Come on, come on, silent treatment doesn't treat you. Come on," she said, nudging me with her shoulder. "What's going on in that big brain of yours? Is it Chaewon?"

"It's weird, people are quick to assume it's Chaewon when I get in my head," I said with a slight laugh. "But it's not Chaewon." I murmured as I lied through my teeth. I didn't want to lie to her, but Chaewon's business was her business and well, mine, I'd rather not share.

"Then what is it? Midterms?" she asked, her tone gentle.

"Something like that," I said, taking the easy way out. "Just feeling the pressure, you know?" I gestured vaguely at the library behind us. "All of this. The studying, the exams, the future. It's a lot."

"Fuck, tell me about it," she said, letting out a groan of frustration. "I feel like my brain is going to explode. I just want it to be over." She ran a hand through her hair, her expression a mixture of exhaustion and exasperation.

"Yeah," I said, a small smile touching my lips. "A week of sleep sounds like heaven right now."

"A whole month would be even better," she laughed. "But a week will have to do." We walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, the only sound was the crunch of our shoes on the gravel path. The sun was starting to set, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink. It was beautiful, but my mind was still a tangled mess.

"Hey, you know what?" she said, her voice bright with a sudden idea. "I'm sure she'll tell you about it but there's a party up in Chaewon's city. It's the week after midterms, you should come with. Minji's not going with me, so you could be my passenger princess. Don't make me drive up there by myself." She looked over at me, her eyes wide and pleading.

"A party?" I asked, a little surprised.

"Yeah, a party," she said, her smile widening. "It's at some guy's house. I don't know who. I just know that there's going to be a lot of people, and a lot of alcohol, and a lot of bad decisions." She paused and bumped into me, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "It'll be fun."

"I don't know," I hesitated. "I'll think about it."

"Think about it?" she said, her tone mock-offended. "It's after midterms, no more studying. An excuse to destress, you deserve it." She bumped into me again, her touch light and playful. "Plus, Chaewon will be there. I bet if you don't go, she'll find a more handsome, more athletic, more intelligent, more fun, more everything man to dance with."

I couldn't help but laugh at her dramatic performance. "You're ridiculous," I said, shaking my head. "But I'll think about it. I promise."

"Good," she said, her expression triumphant. "That's all I'm asking for." She looked up at the sky, a contented sigh escaping her lips. "It's nice out here though, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I agreed, my gaze following hers. The last rays of the sun were disappearing behind the horizon, leaving a trail of fiery colors in their wake. "It's really nice."

"See? This is what I'm talking about," she said, her voice soft. "Breaks are good for the soul." She looked over at me, her eyes shining in the fading light. "You should take them more often." She bumped into me again, a playful gesture that I was starting to get used to. "You know, you're a lot more fun when you're not staring at a textbook."

"That makes me feel good, thank you." I said sarcastically, shoving her away lightly.

She laughed, stumbling back a few steps before regaining her balance. "You know what I mean," she said, her smile unwavering.

"I know," I said, a genuine smile finally finding its way to my face. "I know." We walked in comfortable silence for a few more moments, the path ahead of us illuminated by the faint glow of the campus lights.

"Hey," she said, stopping suddenly. "You wanna get out of here? Like, really out of here. Ditch the library, ditch the studying, just go do something fun."

"Kazuha, what? No," I said, shaking my head. "I can't. I have to study."

"You can study later," she said, her eyes pleading. "You're not going to retain anything if you're this stressed. You need to decompress. Live a little."

"Live a little?" I scoffed. "I've been living a little too much lately. What about Minji?" I said, trying to change the subject, to bring some reason back into the conversation. "We can't just leave her there."

"She'll be fine," Kazuha said, waving a dismissive hand. "She's a robot, remember? She probably won't even notice we're gone. And if she does, we'll just tell her we went for a walk and got lost. Which, technically, wouldn't be a lie."

She had a point. A very, very tempting point. The thought of escaping, of leaving the weight of my responsibilities behind, even for just a few hours, was incredibly alluring. I could feel the familiar pull of self-sabotage, the desire to make a bad decision just for the sake of it.

"Live a little, Minjae," she said again, her voice a soft, persuasive whisper. She reached out and grabbed my wrist, her fingers tightly keeping me hostage. Her touch was warm, her skin soft against mine. "For me. For your poor, stressed-out friend who's about to have a mental breakdown."

"What are we going to do?" I asked, my resolve crumbling. "There's not much we can really do on campus for 'fun'." I tried to make it sound like a genuine question, but we both knew it was a surrender. A white flag.

A triumphant grin spread across her face. "I don't know," she said, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "We could go get that ice cream. Oh, you know what sounds good, a beer." She was trying her best to sell me on the idea, using alcohol as her final trump card. She wasn't a bad saleswoman.

"I'm not going to a bar. I'm not trying to get drunk," I said, my voice firm. I was trying to set some boundaries, to maintain some semblance of control.

"We're not going to a bar, dummy. I have beers and I'm pretty sure half a tub of ice cream is in my fridge. Let's go pick it up and bring it back to the library and we'll get back to studying with a good buzz on." She was talking fast, her words tumbling out in a rush of excitement.

"Fuck it, let's hurry up and go," I said, the words leaving my mouth before I had a chance to think them through. I was already walking away from the library, back towards the dorms.

"Yay!" she squealed, running to catch up with me. A small part of me was already looking forward to it. To the cold beer, the sweet ice cream, the mindless chatter. To the escape. And to another potential flop on my upcoming exam.

Tuesday | March 5th, 2024 | 9:16 AM

"I'm surprised you were still awake today," I chuckled as I left my morning English class. Cho Miyeon yawned as she walked beside me. She was especially radiant today. Maybe it was the long dress that she wore or the way her hair fell over her shoulders as she stretched her neck around. Either way, she had my attention.

"Me too," she said, her voice a little raspy from lack of sleep. "I don't know how I made it through that lecture. I think I blacked out for a good portion of it."

"You and me both," I said, my mind flashing back to the previous night. After my "study break" with Kazuha, we stumbled back to the library, bringing back with us a convenience store bag of goodies for Minji. Our minds had been clouded with cheap beer and sugar. We hadn't gotten any more studying done. In fact, we had spent the rest of the night making fun of the other students in the library, our laughter a little too loud, our behavior a little too obnoxious. Minji had just packed up her things and left without a word.

The studious girl didn't touch a single thing we brought to the table, allowing us to finish off the rest of the beer and ice cream like a couple of teenagers. Hmm, the rest of the night was a little hazy, but I have a faint memory of Kazuha walking me back to my dorm, or was it the other way around?

Wait no, yeah, I was the one who woke up in Kazuha's dorm, fully clothed on top of her couch. I learned from Minji who walked in after I woke up, that the two of us decided to finish off the rest of the alcohol we didn't take with us together. She ended up having to take care of both of our drunk asses after we tried to make more drinks in the middle of the night.

"Although, you look like you had a rougher night than I did," Miyeon said, her eyes studying my face.

"You have no idea," I said, rubbing my temples. "I think I'm still a little drunk." I let out a small laugh, but it came out more like a groan. My head was pounding and I had a feeling I had just wasted a perfectly good night of studying.

"Well, you look like you need coffee," she said, her tone sympathetic. "My treat. For saving my ass on that last assignment." I smiled, remembering the late night we spent working on it together.

Ever since we first talked at the beginning of the semester, we somehow became study buddies. Every so often, we would text and talk about class stuff and sometimes we would meet up to study together, just the two of us. She was smart and funny, and I enjoyed her company.

"You don't have to do that," I said, my voice a little weak.

"I want to," she said, her smile warm and genuine. "C'mon, it'll be my good deed for the day." She was being nice. It only added to my view of her as a princess in disguise. We walked to the library, our steps slow and leisurely. The campus was bustling with activity early in the morning, students rushing to their next class, the air filled with the chatter of a thousand conversations.

We went to the small cafe nestled in the front of the library, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee a welcome relief. The line was short, and we soon found ourselves at the counter, staring at the dizzying array of options.

"Ah, a large iced americano, please," I said, my mind already made up. I needed caffeine. A lot of it.

"And for you?" the barista asked, turning to Miyeon.

"I'll have a vanilla latte, please, do you think you can add an extra shot of espresso," She paused. "And a little bit of cinnamon on top," she finished her voice bright and cheerful. She turned to me, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "You're not one of those black coffee guys, are you?"

"Guilty as charged," I said, a small smile playing on my lips. "I like my coffee like I like my soul, dark and bitter." A joke that I immediately regretted as it left my lips.

Miyeon let out a small laugh, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "That's one way to put it," she said, her tone light. "I prefer mine a little sweeter. Born with a big sweet tooth."

I reached for my wallet and pulled it out.

"Nope," Miyeon said, stepping forward and handing her card to the barista before I could even open it. "I told you, it's on me." I laughed until I noticed something off about my wallet. Nestled amongst my cards was a Student ID that was not mine. I pulled it out. Kazuha Nakamura. The foreign girl's face was smiling at me in her photo, her eyes bright and full of life. How did that get in there? I scanned my brain, trying to remember. Flashes of last night came back to me. Kazuha laughing, spilling a drink. A scramble for things. A swap of cards, maybe? It was all a blur.

I shoved my wallet back into my pocket, my mind racing. I'd have to find her and give it back to her. But a small part of me, a very small, very stupid part of me, was tempted to keep it. It just might be useful. 

Miyeon kindly paid for our orders and we stepped to the side to wait, "Did you want to study for a bit for the midterms? I could really use a refresher on the last few chapters." She asked, her expression hopeful.

"Uh, I don't know," I hesitated. "Work is in a couple of hours, and I was planning on taking a short nap before then."

"That's what the coffee's for," she said, nudging me playfully with her elbow.

"Ugh, fine, fine," I said, my resolve crumbling. "But only for a little while. And only if we find a quiet corner. I don't think I can handle a lot of noise right now."

"Deal," she said, her smile triumphant. We grabbed our coffees from the counter and moved to the learning commons. We found a small table in the back, tucked away from the main thoroughfare. I took a sip of my iced americano, the bitter liquid a welcome shock to my system. Miyeon sipped her latte, her expression one of pure contentment.

"Okay," she said, setting her cup down and pulling out the shared reading material out of her bag. "Let's get this over with."

I took another sip of my coffee, the caffeine starting to kick in. I felt a little more awake, a little more human. I looked over at Miyeon, her head bent over her book, her brow furrowed in concentration. She was beautiful, in a quiet, understated way. The way the light caught her hair, the small, determined set of her jaw. There was a grace to her, a poise that I couldn't help but admire.

"So," she said, looking up at me, her eyes bright with curiosity. "Should we start with reviewing the themes of the book as a whole, or review what happened in the recent chapters in case we get tested on it in the midterm?"

"Let's just review what happened in the recent chapters," I said. "I have a feeling I might've skimmed through a few of them." Or, more accurately, haven't read them at all. But she didn't need to know that.

"Okay," she said, her tone neutral. "Um, well, the last chapter we had to read ended with a big argument between the protagonist and her mother about her future."

"Yeah, right, right. Something about her job, right?"

"Um, no, actually, it was about her marriage. Her mother was pressuring her to marry a wealthy businessman, but she was in love with a poor artist." She paused. "It was the major point of conflict in that chapter."

I hissed and rubbed my neck. That little gesture seemed to make it all click for Miyeon, who smiled and nodded to herself. "You didn't read it, did you?" she asked, her tone gentle. "It's okay, I’ve been there before."

"Guilty," I admitted with a sheepish smile. "It's been a crazy week. I've been trying to catch up, but..."

"I get it," she said, her smile unwavering. "But don't worry, I got you." She launched into a detailed summary of the last few chapters, her voice clear and engaging. The only problem was she was talking too fast for my slow brain to process. Maybe on a better day I could've kept up with her, but not today. Not with the hangover.

I took another sip of my coffee, trying to force my brain to focus. I looked at her, at the way her hands moved as she spoke, I felt bad making her do all of this so I reached out and pushed her hands down lightly. "Hey, I'm just a little beat to study right now but I could like quiz you or something if you want." I suggested.

"Oh, it's okay," she said, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "I think I'm good. But thanks for the offer." I was grateful for her easygoing nature. She didn't make me feel bad for my lack of preparation. "Well, now I feel bad for making you come here to study with me," She said, her smile turning apologetic.

"It's okay," I said, a genuine smile finding its way to my face. "You got me coffee, the least I could do is keep you company until your next class and I go off to work."

"You don't have work until later," she said, checking her phone. "It's fine if you want to go back to your dorm and take a nap."

I hissed to myself, well now I feel super bad seeing how thoughtful she's being. She's been so kind and I've been so unresponsive. "No, no, I'll stay," I said, my voice a little too firm. "I want to stay."

"Are you sure?" she asked, her eyes searching mine.

"Positive," I said, my expression earnest.

"Okay," she said, her smile returning. "Then we can just hang out. No more talk about the book."

We sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, the only sound was the distant hum of the library. I watched her as she took another sip of her latte, her eyes lost in thought. I wondered what she was thinking about.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, not being too able to hold my curiosity. Miyeon smiled at me as a response before answering.

"My submission for the university's end of year fashion show," she answered. I was reminded of the brief mention of it back when we first talked in class, as well as Jennie, Xiaoting, and Joy's involvement in it. "I'm really wondering if what I have in mind is good enough." she looked down at her coffee cup, her fingers tracing the rim.

She looked up at me with a grin, "Do you want to see?" I nodded, intrigued. She pulled out her phone, her fingers flying across the screen. She turned the phone towards me, and I saw a series of sketches. They were beautiful. A collection of designs that were both elegant and edgy, a perfect blend of classic and modern.

"Wow," I said, my eyes wide with admiration. "You're good at drawing."

"Thanks, you learn it after drawing clothes after clothes for years," she said, her smile warm and genuine. I continued to scroll through her photos, my mind blown by her talent. Each design was a work of art, a testament to her creativity and skill.

"And these are all what you were planning on making for the fashion show?" I asked.

"They were," she said, her expression proud. "Or at least, the rough ideas. I still have a lot of work to do." She took a sip of her latte, her gaze fixed on me. "I can't seem to settle on a direction for my final collection. I'm stuck." Her shoulders slumped, a rare display of vulnerability from the usually confident princess.

"I'm not the best with fashion, so I can't really help here," I murmured, looking down at my current outfit which was the exact same outfit from yesterday. Miyeon didn't miss it, she let out a small laugh.

"It's fine, I wasn't asking for your help with designing them. I was just showing you. Sometimes talking about it helps." She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, a small, thoughtful gesture. "You're going to the show, right? I bet, to support Jennie and Xiaoting. I believe this is their first entry." The way she said their names made it sound like a question, not a statement.

"They haven't mentioned it in our groupchat, so I'm not too sure," I said.

"You should go, I could use all the support I can get," she said, her tone light and playful. "Plus, it'll be a good way to see me in my natural habitat."

I chuckled. "I'll try to make it," I said.

"My senior show is a big deal for me and my career, I need it to be perfect," she said, her expression serious. "It could give me a lot of opportunities."

"Then I'm sure it will be," I said, my voice firm. "You're clearly very talented, Miyeon."

"Thank you, Minjae," she said, her voice soft. "That means a lot." We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, the only sound was the distant hum of the library. I looked at her, at the way the light caught her hair, the small, contented smile on her face. She was beautiful. And not just in a physical way. There was a kindness to her, a warmth that I found myself drawn to. She was a princess, but she was also a friend. A good friend.

"Hey, I'm going to get ready to go to my next class," she said, gathering her things. "It was nice hanging out with you, Minjae. Have fun at work!"

"You too, Miyeon," I said, standing up. "I'll see you around." We got up from the table and went our separate ways. I walked towards the exit, my mind a little clearer, my heart a little lighter. That feeling was short-lived once I realized I have to read the book before the midterm. The thought alone was enough to bring back my headache.

Wednesday | March 5th, 2024 | 2:22 PM

"So, wait, what's the time complexity for Heap Sort?" Minju asked, her brow furrowed in concentration. I clicked my tongue and started flipping through my class notes, a little longer than I should've.

"Uh, it's O(n log n)," I answered, my voice a little unsure.

"Are you sure?" she asked, her eyes narrowing. "I thought it was O(n^2)."

"Um, no, I wrote it down for O(n log n). The worst case time complexity is also O(n log n) so I don't know where you got O(n^2) from," I said, my tone a little defensive. Minju's lips pursed, her expression a mixture of confusion and frustration.

"Shoot," she mumbled, her head bent over her notebook. She started scribbling furiously, muttering to herself. "I could've sworn it was O(n^2)." I looked around us, the tables of students cramming for midterms like we were. Everyone looked as stressed as I felt. The air in the library was thick with anxiety and the faint scent of desperation.

The two of us decided to skip our class to spend the class time studying together, but so far it didn’t seem like we were on a good start.

"Are you sure about this answer though? I'd rather know now than get it wrong on the exam." Minju asked again, looking up at me.

"Pretty sure," I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt. "I think Merge Sort is O(n log n) too. Quick sort, maybe not, but these two definitely are."

"Okay, okay, I'll trust you on that one, then." She looked down at her notes again, her expression still a little doubtful. She turned her head back to me. "Ugh, I hate this, it's so much to remember.”

"Don't I know it," I sighed. "My brain feels like it's about to explode." I leaned back in my chair, my gaze drifting towards the ceiling. I just needed a few minutes. A few minutes of peace and quiet. A few minutes to not think about algorithms and data structures. A few minutes to stop pretending I wasn't drowning in it.

That's not how real life works though, so I straightened up again, readying myself for more torture. Before diving back in however, Minju groaned and laid her head down on her notebook.

"I just want to play League." Minju asked, her voice muffled by the desk. "Maybe a nice game of TFT or ARAM. Something to take the edge off." Her hair was blanketed over the notes that we worked on together, shielding her face from the world.

"We can't. We have to study," I sighed, my voice resolute. "We can't afford to fail this midterm." I was trying to convince myself as much as I was trying to convince her.

"I know," she said, her voice still muffled. "But a girl can dream, can't she?" She lifted her head, a pout on her lips. "Just one game. One quick game. We'll be refreshed and ready to go. I promise."

"Let's just finish up these practice exam questions, then you'll be free to lose as many games as you want," I said with a small smile.

"C'mon, we'll run home, log on, play a game, then fuck it, you can come over and study some more at my place. Just one game." She pleaded. I laughed, "A little too forward don't you think? I have a girlfriend."

Minju pouted, "I know that dipshit, but I'm not asking your girlfriend to play League of Legends with me."

"You can't be serious." I sighed. Minju shrugged her shoulders and twisted around in her chair like an active toddler trying to get away from their chores. "Is all you think about is League of Legends?"

"Mostly yes." She answered quickly. "What were we even just talking about?" She said as her brain finally started resetting on me. Her frustration was clear, but I couldn't help but find it a little endearing.

"Sorting algorithms," I said. "Your favorite subject, remember?" Her response was a noncommittal groan and she returned to writing in her notebook.

"Ugh, no. I'm thinking of taking next year off." I heard her say. My head rose up to meet her as I watched Minju scribble a doodle of Teemo's face instead of taking notes, "I don't know anymore, school's not really my thing."

"Don't do that," I mindlessly urged. To be honest, I could care less what someone else does with their life, but it just felt like the right thing to say. The 'thing to do'.

"Hmm, I'm tired of school. I want to be a streamer. I think I'd do good as a streamer if I was more consistent. I currently get a good 80 active viewers now."

"No way." I was a little surprised, "Well, that's pretty cool."

"Yeah," Minju responded. "It's not a lot of money or anything, but it's enough to get me by." She doodled more. "I think if I dedicated some more real hours to it, I could probably quit school. I'm a pretty enough girl, right? People want to watch me." She wasn't being arrogant, she was being realistic. She had a certain charm to her, a gamer-girl-next-door vibe that would undoubtedly attract viewers.

"Yeah, you're pretty," I agreed without much thought. The words just tumbled out, a simple statement of fact in my exhausted state from studying. Minju's face beamed with a bright smile, the words that I said apparently meant a lot to her.

"Ah, thank you! I think I'm pretty enough. But I'm good at games too, I talk a lot. It's a good combination."

I shrugged, "Maybe, I'm not doubting you or anything, but the streaming scene is packed. You think you can stand out?" This seemed to be the wrong thing to ask.

Minju leaned back on her chair and propped her feet up on her backpack, "You never know if you don't try." I nodded in agreement, as she tapped her chin with her finger, "Maybe I could cosplay as I stream, people like cosplayers, right? Or be a variety streamer? I could do both!"

"Yeah, the possibilities are endless," I said, my voice slowed as I started to look back at my own notes, but Minju quickly continued the subject before I could drift away from the conversation again.

"I could be an IRL streamer and walk around conventions, I bet that would be interesting." She said with a sigh, letting her imagination run wild.

"Sounds fun," I told her. Minju's face scrunched up as she leaned her chair towards me.

"Am I being too ahead of myself, Minjae? Be honest, please don't say what you think I want to hear." She frowned, her emotions swapping on a whim.

"No... not at all," I tried my best to reassure her. "I mean, realistically, I want to say you should stay in school." I saw her pout so I quickly corrected myself. "But I'm not saying that because I don't think you have it, it's just I personally believe school is a more solid and reliable way to get where you want to be in life," I paused, "But I could say that cause I'm not good at what you do. I can't be a streamer. Who knows, you could be huge."

"So you don't think I should drop out?"

I hesitated before answering, "I really think you should keep doing what you're doing, but don't give up on streaming. Who knows, maybe once you hit it big, you can forget everything you learned in school." Minju smiled at the compromise and nodded.

"Yeah, if that falls through, I guess I'll just be homeless forever," she said with a smirk before breaking into a laugh, her body leaning forward on her elbows. I admired that about her. She doesn't mind being a bit weird around me. Not many girls let out that side of them.

I couldn't explain it but there was this sort of haze that fell over my eyes as I stared at the girl in front of me. Like slow motion, the shot of Minju mid-laugh with her eyes tightly shut seemed like a beautiful photo. My eyes began to drift, but I didn't try to stop them. They traveled downward from her cute expression to her white t-shirt with some anime girl plastered on the center. The t-shirt hugged her form, showcasing the gentle slope of her neck as it dipped toward her collarbones. The fabric clung to her small frame, hinting at the subtle curve of her breasts, not large, but there, present and contained within what looked to be a plain white bra underneath.

It was just a quick look. No different than glancing at a painting.

Her laugh subsided and her posture went back to normal, breaking whatever kind of trance that I had fallen into. "Alright, let's be nerds again," she said, her expression shifting back to one of academic focus. I nodded in agreement, dragging my attention back to my laptop screen and the blizzard of code that was waiting for me to examine.

No, I couldn't focus on that. No matter how hard I tried. All I could see was Minju's smiling face when I read through the textbook's example problems on implementing Quick Sort. It was an invasion, my mind was being invaded with thoughts of her and her stupid cute face that lights up whenever League of Legends is present in the conversation.

To be honest though, Minju naturally had a lot of cute mannerisms. She had a tendency to tuck her pen behind her ear when she was thinking, and to chew on her lower lip when she was concentrating. But my focus, my dear, dear focus, shot right out of the window once she had to get up for a quick stretch.

She would push her chair back with a loud squeak, which got her some looks around the library. I watched her stretch her arms overhead, causing her shirt to rise up, revealing a sliver of pale skin above the waistband of her jeans. I could see the soft curve of her stomach and the hollow of her navel. It was just a small glimpse, an accidental flash of skin, but it was enough to make my heart skip a beat. It was as if she was a cat stretching after a long nap. Her movements were fluid and unhurried.

It was wrong. A weird, twisted impulse that rose from the dark, mucky part of my brain. The part that whispered suggestions it shouldn't. The part that catalogued these moments. It was a familiar, sickening feeling, but it was a part of me, as much as my hands or my eyes. The rational side of my brain screamed at me to stop, to focus, to be a normal study partner. But the other side, the darker, more calculating side, was already working. Creating a plan. A risk.

"Do you want to play a little game?" I had opened my mouth. My fingers cautiously rubbed my forearm while the words I just spoke lingered.

Minju looked at me, tilting her head slightly as her hands rested on her hips. "A game? Here I though, you didn’t want to play a quick League."

"I don't know, I don't feel like studying and it's pretty obvious you don't either." Minju smiled at me, "Maybe. Who knows, these sorts and algorithms are really interesting stuff." I sarcastically let out a chuckle at her sarcasm.

"So... ID Football?" I suggested, leaning down into my backpack.

"What in the world is ID Football?" She asked.

"It's this game me and my buddies used to play whenever we got bored," I murmured, making lies through my teeth. I started to rummage into my backpack again, but this time my actions were more purposeful. I felt the faint touch of a blunt book. It was always there for opportunities like this.

"How do you even play that?" she asked, intrigued by the name.

I placed it on the table with a small thud. It was the card copying textbook that I made. It's been a while since I pulled it out last, but it was a trusty old friend in my arsenal.

"It's simple, pull out your Student ID, put it on the table and flick it like a paper football up and over the textbook. The closer to the other end of the table without falling off, wins."

"Seems simple enough," She acknowledged as she reached for her wallet. She pulled out her ID and placed it on the table, her face smiling at me in her photo. "Alright, let's do this."

This was it. This was my chance. The dark side of my brain was celebrating, a silent, internal cheer. I took out my phone as discretely as I could, pulling out the rudimentary app to control the textbook. I turned on the recording feature and put my phone to the side, watching Minju position her ID.

"Ladies first." I said. Minju stuck her tongue out to me as she angled her finger on the edge of her ID.

She flicked the small plastic card. I watched with intent as her card flew through the air, spinning rapidly. It flew over the textbook, landing a couple inches away from the far edge of the table.

"Not bad," I said, my tone a little too casual. I got out my ID and placed it on the table. I took a deep breath, aiming for my card to land right on the edge. My flick was good, too good even. It spun and went straight at Minju, who dodged her head backwards to get out of its way. "Whoops!" I laughed nervously. "Too much power."

"Yeah, you definitely did too much, Minjae," She said. She got up to retrieve my ID which landed behind her. As her head turned away, I knew I had just moments to execute the move. I swiped her ID off the table and placed it right onto the front of the textbook, making sure it was laying dead center on the cover.

Over to the side, I felt my phone vibrate against the table, signaling the first phase of my clone was done. I pulled it off the textbook and quickly fished out a blank ID card I keep inside of my wallet, slapping it against the same spot that I placed Minju's. A single, final vibration came from my phone as the transfer happened.

I pulled away the cloned card as Minju started turning around, slipping it into my pocket. She was back in her seat in mere seconds and none the wiser. "Here you go, champ. Or should I say loser." she joked as she placed my ID in front of me.

"I'll get you next round," I said, playing dumb. Minju smiled at me as her eyes went down to the table. None the wiser, it didn't register anything wrong. I smiled at her, a feeling of pride started to bubble inside me.

This was the thrill. The danger. The power. The way my heart hammered in my chest, the way the adrenaline coursed through my veins. It was better than any drug, any high. It was a heady, intoxicating feeling. I felt alive. Truly, utterly, undeniably alive.

I put her in my pocket, feeling the smooth, cool plastic against my fingertips. This was way better than studying.

Wednesday | March 5th, 2024 | 6:01 PM

I tore my eyes away from the Vietnamese girl in front of me, looking back at my laptop. At this point, it felt like I was living in the library with different roommates coming to keep me company as I study. I didn't get far with studying with Minju so I went to class, and right after, headed right back here to studying with Hanni, Danielle, and Haerin. Or more like, I was watching them study.

Well, more like watching Hanni watch Danielle who was watching a video with her phone propped up on a textbook. But Haerin, sweet, precious Haerin. She was actually studying, her brow furrowed in concentration, her head resting on her fist.

But that was besides the point, my eyes looked up again at the scene that never changed. Hanni was resting her chin onto Danielle's shoulder as she watched whatever Danielle was watching on her phone and Hanni had a cheeky smile drawn onto her face. If my suspicions of Hanni weren't strong before, they definitely were now.

The girl had a fat crush on her roommate, a fact that was as obvious as the nose on her face to me. The way she looked at Danielle, her eyes filled with a mixture of adoration and longing. The way she always seemed to find a way to touch her, a casual hand on the small of her back, a playful nudge of her shoulder. It was a quiet, unspoken love, a beautiful and painful thing to witness.

"Mhmm..." Danielle murmured, engrossed in her video. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes wide with excitement. She had a way of completely losing herself in things, a childlike wonder that was both endearing and captivating. And it seemed the roommate was none the wiser to her best friend's desires.

"Minjae, can you pass me my highlighter?" a soft voice whispered from my side. My head snapped to Haerin's direction, my body flinching just slightly. Her eyes were a deep dark pool, her cat-like features even more pronounced under the library's harsh fluorescent lights. She looked rough, like she's been up doing what I should've been doing for the past week or so.

"Yeah, of course," I said, my voice a little rough. I quickly grabbed her highlighter from the messy pile of stationery between us and handed it to her. She nodded and turned back diligently to her textbook, as the silence started to become more apparent, Danielle let out a small gasp.

"Hmm?" I curiously looked at the two girls. Danielle's head quickly swiveled in my direction with a large smile. "Take a look at this video, it's so cute!"

"Ah, c'mon, can we just study?" I pleaded, feeling quite unproductive this past week and hoping to use this hour to do actual studying for once. But I couldn't say no to Danielle's smiling face.

"Just watch it, Minjae," Hanni egged on with a wink, her smirk telling me I wouldn't be let off easy. The duo's combined pressure was too much. I hesitated before leaning over the desk.

My eyes scanned Danielle's phone, seeing a video of a large, fluffy cat being put into a small cardboard box. Then a small calico kitten, easily a tenth of its size, hops in and snuggles into the big cat's fur. The large cat started purring in the video, the sounds being picked up by the phone's microphone. It was an adorable display, and a small smile formed on my face despite my intention to study.

"That's cute," I admitted, leaning back in my chair, creating a safe distance between us.

"Right?" Danielle beamed, her face glowing. Hanni chuckled, shaking her head in amusement. I chanced a glance at Haerin, who hadn't looked up from her textbook. She seemed to be completely immune to the world's distractions, a fortress of focus in a sea of cute animal videos.

"How's the studying going, Haerin?" I asked, trying to pull her into our conversation. Her concentration seemed too intense, almost forced. Maybe she was just tired.

But Haerin looked up from her notes, "Huh?"

"How's studying going?" I repeated, a little slower this time.

"Oh," She smiled shyly, her cheeks flushing. "It's... a lot."

"My brain feels like scrambled eggs," I said, trying to make her feel better. She laughed and leaned back in her chair, running her hands through her hair, "Tell me about it." Her eyes met mine for a split second, a brief, warm connection in the middle of our stressful study session.

"Can you pass me my water bottle?" Danielle asked, a pout forming on her lips, her hands preoccupied with her video. I was reaching for it before Hanni beat me to the punch.

"Here, I got it," Hanni said softly, handing Danielle the water bottle. Danielle seemed oblivious, as she unscrewed the cap and took a long sip, her throat bobbing up and down.

Ugh, maybe I'd be better off studying alone in my room. Lock the door, starve myself and study to earn my dinner or something. Or maybe not starve myself, that's a bit extreme.

"Okay okay, last video," Danielle promised, putting her phone down for a second.

"No, just start studying and then you'll get into it," I said with a sigh, my patience wearing thin. Danielle looked at me with a playful pout.

"Come on, it's a golden retriever trying to play with a hedgehog!"

I let out a groan. A soft giggle came from the girl who flipped her phone over and locked it, "Okay okay okay, we're done messing around." Danielle's eyes sat on me for a brief moment before reaching down into her backpack and pulling out her laptop and binder of notes.

Hanni followed suit, though, her stuff was already out but she was now sitting forward and ready to get serious. I watched the change come across their faces, their eyes scanning their textbooks and notes. I could feel the stress levels rise in our little group as we all settled into the grim reality of studying for midterms.

For a moment, I almost lost myself in studying but was interrupted once again by the girls. Danielle was still rummaging through her bag and flipping pages obnoxiously loud. It might've been that my nerves were shot with all of this studying and non-studying but these little irritants were beginning to feel so much bigger than they were.

I tried tuning her out, focusing on the glowing screen in front of me, but it was no use. Her rustling was a constant grating noise, a distraction I couldn't ignore.

"Oh no, I don't think I have it!" Danielle whisper-exclaimed. My head shot up at her.

"Don't have what?" Hanni asked.

"My textbook, ah, I think I left it at the dorm," She whined, looking at Hanni, who looked up from her books. Hanni had started to slide her book over to share but Danielle shook her head, "No, it's for another class."

The girl whipped her head around, "Maybe the library will have a copy. I should look for it." she concluded. Hanni offered, "Do you need help?"

"No, it's fine. I might need Minjae, since he's tall, and well, you're not," Danielle said, pointing at me. Hanni looked at me and frowned, "Ugh, you're right. I hate being so short."

Danielle stood up from her chair, "Are you coming, Minjae? If the book is high, you're not going to make me have to climb the shelf are you?" She swiveled in place as if trying to mesmerize me and convince me with that single cute motion.

"I... yeah okay, alright." I mumbled as I closed my laptop.

Danielle's hands clapped, "Yay!" she grabbed my arm, a little too tightly. "Come on, let's go on an adventure!"

"This is not an adventure, Danielle," I chuckled. "We're just looking for a book." Danielle stuck her tongue out playfully before pulling on my arm, leading me away from the study table. I could feel Hanni's eyes boring into my head, but when I chanced a glance back at her, her expression was unreadable.

Strangely enough, Haerin was also looking up. For a second I thought her pained expression was because Danielle was dragging me away, but a beat later, I realized I was just reading way too much into it. She just looked stressed, with dark circles starting to peek out from under her eyes.

Danielle pulled me through the aisles of the library, her footsteps light and cheerful. She hummed a little tune as she led, swaying my arm from side to side.

"This is nice, isn't it?" she said, a bright smile on her face. "Just the two of us, on a treasure hunt for knowledge."

"You're so lame," I said with a smile. She winked at me, a playful twinkle in her eye. "Do you even know which aisle to look in?"

"Of course, I do," Danielle huffed, though she was still smiling. "Arthrology is a science subject, science subjects are in the 300s. Should be right around here." She pulled me towards an area with towering shelves, a labyrinth of paper and ink.

"Don't worry, I got this," Danielle chirped, her eyes scanning the shelves. She let go of my arm and started walking forward, her eyes looking on the spines of books. The walkway was tight, maybe only room for one person to move easily in between shelves.

"Do you need help climbing them? Maybe I could just stand right below you in case you fall." I laid out a little joke. Danielle glanced over at me with a mischievous smirk. "Or maybe you could climb on me, if you want." Her eyes flickered up and down my body, her expression holding a hint of something more than just friendly banter.

My heart skipped a beat, a familiar, unwelcome warmth spreading through my chest.

Huh?

"Tsk, arthrology, arthrology, where are you," Danielle mumbled under her breath as she scanned the shelves. Her wavy brown hair bounced as she moved, the ends tickling her lower back. I stood there, watching her, a strange mixture of frustration and amusement swirling inside me. She was a distraction, a beautiful, charming, utterly infuriating distraction.

"Aha!" she exclaimed, spotting whatever she was looking for. "Found it!" I didn't know what she saw but all of a sudden, Danielle squeezed her slim frame into the tight space between the shelf and I. Before I could even react, she stretched herself up, using a small ledge on the shelf as a foothold. Her jeans stretched tight over her butt, leaving very little to the imagination. Her shirt rode up even more, revealing the toned skin of her midriff.

My breath caught in my throat as I froze in place. She grunted as she reached, pushing herself onto her tip-toes, her entire body stretched out in front of me. I choked back a gasp when her hips pushed into me. Not a small accidental bump but a full, deliberate push, her perky butt pressed flush against my groin. The heat that bloomed in my stomach then quickly traveled downwards had my mind racing.

Danielle's grunts turned into small whimpers, "My god... it's so... tight in here." The way she emphasized 'tight' sent another jolt through my body, and the blood that was already rushing to one particular place started to pump even faster. I tried to zone out, I really did, but with Danielle rubbing her ass against me, my dick was becoming unbearably hard. It was becoming uncomfortable, the pressure of my jeans suddenly becoming too much to bear.

"Got it," Danielle said with triumph. She slowly pulled herself back down, turning around to face me. Her back was flush against the shelf, her body just centimeters from mine. A strand of her brown hair had fallen across her face, and she pushed it behind her ear, her eyes twinkling with amusement. She looked up at me, a sly smile on her face.

She saw it. Of course, she did. Her gaze briefly flickered down to my crotch, and I knew she'd seen the prominent bulge in my jeans. Hell, she felt it. Her smile widened, a slow, triumphant spread that made my stomach do a flip-flop.

"My hero," she whispered, the words meant to be teasing, but they came out sounding husky, intimate. "Thanks for the lift."

"You're welcome," I managed, my voice was hoarse. I cleared my throat as she squeezed past me, her arm brushing against mine. I watched her go, her small frame disappearing around the corner of the shelf. I waited a few moments, taking deep breaths, trying to get myself under control.

I was being played with. And, frankly, I didn't mind. Danielle noticed I didn't move from the spot she found me. In fact, my legs felt like they were nailed to the floor.

"Minjae, you coming?" She peeked her head back from the corner, an innocent look on her face that was so, so, clearly fake. "Don't get lost in the stacks now."

I pushed myself off the bookshelf, staring at her in disbelief. Was this happening? Danielle came closer, a weird undertone laying underneath that innocent smile. A little skip of an added flourish.

"Heh, your face is red, are you okay?" She came closer. Close. Much closer. She squeezed back in between the shelf and me, this time facing me intentionally. There was no more room, no more space. I was now trapped by her. Danielle's chin tilted up and our eyes met. Up close they were even deeper, swirling with an unnerving mixture of playfulness and what... Hunger?

Then she did it. My brain didn't really process it fully but one second there is a little sliver of space between us, the next second she pressed into me with her pelvis, her hips. This wasn't her just bumping into me accidently. This was deliberate. There's nothing else to call it.

She just grinded on me.

My eyes went wide, as I'm sure hers did too. The contact was electric, a shockwave that pulsed through my entire being. My hard-on throbbed in my pants, a painful, insistent ache. I wanted to say something, anything, but the words were stuck in my throat.

Then she let out a soft, airy, "Oh my." Like it was an accident, like she was surprised. My heart hammered in my chest, a frantic, out-of-control rhythm. She knows I have a girlfriend, right?

"We should get back to the others," I stated, letting this situation simmer for a moment longer. The logical, rational side of my brain was screaming at me to walk away, to put as much distance between myself and this dangerous girl as possible. But damn, how can I resist this when she's basically coming at me. Maybe she just wanted me and this was how she's making it clear.

"Right," Danielle breathed, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth again. She removed herself off of me and proceeded to walk out the aisle, not turning back for my approval. I carefully followed behind her, still in shock over the incident, keeping a safe distance. There was a slight sway to her hips, a little extra dip that hadn't been there before.

My mind felt like a scrambled mess as I tried to process what had just happened. We didn't say another word to each other, the silence heavy and full of unspoken things.

"Look what I found," Danielle announced when we reached the table, holding up her textbook for all to see. Her cheerful facade firmly back in place. "And he actually found the book for me," she added, shooting a quick, knowing glance at me before plopping down in her seat.

"You're welcome," I said, my voice coming out a little rougher than I intended.

Hanni looked up from her notes, her eyes darting between me and Danielle. "That's because Minjae is the best," she said, a teasing note in her voice. "I wouldn't be able to reach the high shelves. I'd need a ladder," she pouted playfully.

"You don't say," I shot back sarcastically, a strange heat creeping up my neck. I risked a glance at Haerin, who had lifted her head from her book. Her dark, cat-like eyes met mine, and for a second, I saw something flicker in their depths. A flash of... something I couldn't quite name before she looked down at her notes. It was enough to make me feel even more off-balance.

"So now that we have the textbook," I said, clearing my throat, trying to steer the conversation back to safer territory. "Maybe we can actually get some studying done?"

"Okay, okay, fine," Danielle groaned dramatically. She opened her textbook with a heavy sigh. Her focus on studying seemed to be genuine, her eyes scanning the pages, her brow furrowed in concentration. But every now and then, she would look up at me, her eyes meeting mine for a brief, charged moment before looking away. It was a silent conversation, a game of cat and mouse that left me feeling flustered and confused. My body was still humming with the memory of her touch.

I tried to focus on my textbook too, but the words swam before my eyes, blurring into an incomprehensible jumble. Every time I managed to form a coherent thought, an image of Danielle would flash in my mind. The way she stretched, the look on her face as she pressed against me.

For the longest time, I couldn't focus on studying. This went on for a while, and I was jealous of how quickly the girls were able to lock in on studying.

But after about half an hour, they were finally winding down. And I was still in shock.

"Is anyone else starving?" Hanni suddenly announced, her voice cutting through the silence. She closed her laptop with a decisive snap. "Because I feel like if I read one more thing, my brain is going to melt out of my ears."

"Aww, my poor genius," Danielle cooed. "But I am starving, let's go eat." She turned to me, a hopeful look on her face. "You in, Minjae?" The way she asked it made it clear it wasn't just a casual invitation.

"Ah, I don't know. I kind of wanted to continue studying a bit more," I declined, my voice a bit too quick. The memory of our encounter in the aisle was too raw, too fresh. I needed space. Danielle's smile faltered, just for a second, a flicker of disappointment in her eyes. "Oh. Okay. Well, we should get going then." Her tone was cheerful, but it felt forced. Polite.

Hanni's gaze drifted towards me, then to Haerin. “Haerin, you coming with us?" Hanni asked as the two started to pack up their bags.

I saw Haerin's shoulders tense. She was caught in the middle of it all. Haerin looked from Hanni, then at me, then down at her messy pile of books. The silent war going on inside her head was painfully obvious. "No, I'll stay with Minjae.," she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I can't stop studying. I want to make sure I pass." She said to her friends.

"Suit yourselves," Hanni said with a shrug, grabbing her tote. "Don't starve, you two." A small, tight smile touched her lips. The small girl practically glued herself to Danielle, slinging her arms around her roommate's waist from behind. "Let's go, roommate mine. Time for pizza." Danielle chuckled and wrapped an arm around Hanni's shoulders.

"Bye!" The two chorused in unison as they walked away. I watched them go, a pang of relief warring with an equally strong pang of something that felt suspiciously like guilt.

And then it was just us. The silence that filled the space Hanni and Danielle left was heavy and tense. It was the kind of silence that makes you hyper-aware of every little sound. The hum of the fluorescent lights, the distant rustle of a page turning, the beating of your own heart in your ears. We didn't talk for a couple of minutes. We studied. Or rather, I pretended to study while my brain replayed the scene in the shelves over and over again. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Haerin was tracing notes, her pen scratching against the paper with a slow energy.

She must have felt me looking because she stopped scribbling and looked up. Her eyes met mine and she offered me a tired, but real, smile.

"The midterm is going to kill me," she confessed softly.

"Honestly? Same," I admitted, my lips curling into a small smile. This was easy. This was safe. A little piece of the tension in my shoulders relaxed.

A beat of quiet passed between us, more comfortable this time. "Did you get the book for Danielle?" Haerin's question was sudden but not accusing.

"Yeah, found it on a high shelf, she asked me for help with it." Technically true.

Another beat passed. "She can be... a lot."

A little laugh escaped my throat. "Yeah, I'm just starting to figure that out." I was so focused on Haerin's words that I almost missed it. Under her desk, I saw it. She tapped her foot, the sole of her sneaker striking the worn linoleum, again and again. Tappity-tap-tap. Tappity-tap-tap. A nervous tic I had never noticed before.

"I'm so stressed, I feel like I'm not retaining anything." Haerin sighed, her shoulders slumping. The little dance her foot was doing under the table seemed to intensify, becoming a more frantic, desperate rhythm.

"If it makes you feel better, I haven't been studying anything for the past hour. I've just been staring at the words." My confession hung in the air between us. An apology of sorts. For not being a better study partner.

Her frantic tapping slowed, and she gave me a small, empathetic glance. "Well, do you need help? I heard teaching is a good way to learn. Maybe I can explain something to you?" Her offer was sweet, genuine. A perfect olive branch. A way to salvage this day and turn it into something normal. Something I needed.

"Yes, totally. I need it. Thank you." I was genuinely relieved. Yes. This is exactly what I needed.

She slid her notebook closer to her and leaned over it, pointing a pen at a list of definitions. Sociology is less of a practical science, and more of a definition science if I had to explain. Not quite my forte. I'm more of a do it and learn it, not a read it and remember it kind of guy.

"So 'structural functionalism' sees society as a complex system whose parts work together to promote solidarity and stability," she explained, her voice clear and focused, but laced with an undertone of exhaustion.

Tappity-tap-tap. Tappity. The sound was faint, but it was there. A distracting little metronome to her internal turmoil. She explained with a quiet passion, her dark eyes focusing on the concepts. But my mind wouldn't cooperate. The tap-tap-tapping of her foot had started up again, a subtle beat in the background of her lecture.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I wonder how hard she's been studying. I know for a fact more than me, and I'm fully aware of her devotion to her studies. I had to respect it.

"And then you have 'social conflict theory'..." She continued to drone on about society. At some point, my head left the building. I can't keep track of what she's saying anymore. I shook my head, "I'm sorry, it's not sticking for some reason."

She just looked at me, defeated. "Oh. That's alright." Her foot stilled. I drummed my fingers on the table before bringing them up to my eyes and rubbing the exhaustion from them.

"How long have you been studying, Haerin," I asked sincerely. Her pen tapped at her lip, "A week now, almost two maybe. At least six hours a day." My eyes almost popped out of my head.

"God, Haerin, you're crazy." She blushed and let out a soft laugh, "I know, but I really have to do well." There was a desperation there, one I couldn't quite understand but wanted to. I saw the lines etched around her pretty cat-like eyes, the dark circles blooming like bruises under them, the way her shoulders slumped forward even when she tried to sit up straight. The tapping of her foot wasn't just nervousness; it was the rhythm of her anxiety.

"Okay, new plan," I declared, closing my laptop with a decisive snap that made her jump. The finality of the sound seemed to cut through her fatigue. "We're going back."

"Back?" she repeated, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Back. Away from the library. You need a break before you turn into a pile of textbook-shaped dust. My treat." The words came out before I could overthink them. It was a golden-hearted impulse, a rescue mission I hadn't planned but suddenly felt crucial.

For a moment, the mask of the diligent student didn't fall, "Minjae, I really need to-"

"No. You really need to not. Come on. Let's go." I said it softly but firmly. I was giving her an out. Her eyes studied my face, searching. Maybe she was looking for an ulterior motive, but for once, my brain was blissfully simple. I wanted to help.

Finally, her shoulders sagged in surrender, and a different kind of exhaustion washed over her features. The 'I-finally-don't-have-to-be-strong-anymore' kind. "Okay," she whispered, the single word carrying the weight of her burnout. A smile formed bigger and bigger as her face lit up. We both started packing up our things in unison, the silent agreement bringing a surprising sense of comfort.

"So... since you're bribing me with food," she said, a playful note entering her voice as she zipped up her backpack. "Where are we going?" Her fingers twitched at her sides.

"C'mon, are you kidding. You showed me the best ramen place in the area, how can we not go back?" Her whole face brightened up at my words, like she was genuinely surprised I remembered.

"Deal. But," a slender finger pointed at me. A flash of her dorky side. "You're paying."

"I said that, didn't I? And it was my idea."

"So a perfect deal then." She laughed. The sound was small and a little hoarse from disuse, but it was a laugh nonetheless. I led the way out, pushing the chair back to its place at the table. Haerin lugged her backpack over one shoulder and followed behind me. "I feel bad, Danielle and Hanni won't be here to take advantage of this amazing offer."

"Their loss." I said, not looking back, but I could feel her quiet steps shadowing me.

"Hanni doesn't seem to mind," She whispered, walking beside me. "She's like glued to Danielle's side." I grunted in agreement. A part of me still was stuck in that moment with Danielle. In that tight aisle. The memory clung to me like a humid sweat, the feeling of her hip against mine replaying in a vivid loop that made my steps feel unsteady.

She knew what she was doing, the thought echoed again. Did it mean anything? Was she just toying with me? I'm not blind, Danielle was attractive, with her wide smile and the way she bounced on the balls of her feet when she was excited. She was a walking ray of sunshine wrapped in a confusing, sensual package.

She was certainly attractive, I've seen enough women in my life to confidently say that. But the way she acted was unlike anyone, except maybe Nakyung. That thought soured my stomach. Where Nakyung's advances were a transaction, a known game we played between layers of friendship and twisted desire, Danielle's felt different. It felt... less honest. More like a dare. A dare to herself to press the buttons and push the limits of me.

I remember back at the soup kitchen, Danielle did have a thing for being a bit overly flirtatious with other men. I witnessed it with my own two eyes. Even Hanni was aware of it, as their short conversation that I eavesdropped on could tell. Was that just her personality? Just a flirty girl being a flirty girl? Or was something more deliberate at play?

Speaking of the soup kitchen, Haerin brought it up, "Ever since you brought it up at the soup kitchen, I did start to notice Hanni's sort of attachment towards Danielle." My brain took a moment to catch up, forcing the Danielle in the shelves memory back into its box. "Really?" I asked, trying to sound normal.

"Yeah," Haerin replied softly as we weaved through a cluster of students near the main doors of the library. "I mean, I can't tell if it's one-sided but it's obvious to me now that Hanni's interested to some degree."

We stepped out into the cool evening air. The sun had already dipped below the campus buildings, painting the sky in soft shades of lavender and rose. The campus, usually so alive with noise, was settling into a different kind of quiet with the hushed buzz of students heading to dinner or back to their dorms. This quiet felt more natural than the oppressive silence of the library. This felt peaceful. I looked at Haerin next to me. The golden light softened her features, catching the subtle highlight in her brown hair. She looked beautiful.

"Ah, I forgot my phone charger. It's still plugged in the wall," Haerin suddenly announced, her cheeks flushing with a light pink. She turned immediately to go back inside.

I grabbed her arm gently. "Wait, I'll get it for you. You stay here." I offered, giving her arm a light squeeze. "Find a bench, I'll be back in two minutes." I turned around before she could protest, heading back into the brightly-lit building, leaving her in the twilight.

I made my way back to our study area. The table was empty, save for a forgotten pencil, but there was a white cord snaking from the wall outlet to the floor. I knelt down to unplug it from the wall. Getting up off the floor, I coiled it around my wrist and started to walk away. A dumb smile was on my face. Doing this for her didn't even feel like a chore. It made me feel good, genuinely, pure, unadulteratedly good.

I approached the exit, and through the glass double doors, I saw her silhouette. She didn't listen to me, still standing on the sidewalk, but there were two other figures with her. I slowed down as I walked out, closely examining the new scene.

It was two girls, both strangers to me. They were standing a little too close, their body language reeking of an unpleasant confidence. Haerin stood there, her small frame looking even smaller as she faced them. Her shoulders tensed up to her ears, she was a bundle of nerves.

"Oh come on, Kang Haerin, we're just trying to be nice." One girl said, her tone dripping with syrupy venom. She was taller than Haerin, with sleek, dark hair pulled into a ponytail that seemed as tight as her smile. The second girl giggled, a sharp, grating sound.

"How've you been? You look... tired. I bet you've been busy since you've gotten to college," The second girl chimed in, her gaze scanning Haerin from top to bottom. The way she said it made it seem like the dirtiest insult.

"I'm fine," I heard Haerin's quiet response, her barely-there. "I have to go."

A knot of ice formed in my stomach.

"Go where? You got a dorm to visit?" The main instigator said, looking Haerin up and down with a sneer. "Maybe we can walk you there? Make sure our little 'Haerinnie' doesn't get lonely." She looked at the sidekick. "She used to get so lonely back in high school, right? Eating her lunch by herself in the corner. Some things don't change." They let out matching, vicious laughs.

I started walking faster, my hands balling into fists. I could feel the charger digging into my wrist. Every fiber of my being screamed to run, to intervene. But there was a part of me, that dark little corner in my mind, that stood there, wanting to watch. To see how Haerin would handle this. Would she crack? Would she fight back?

But the sight of her, shrinking before these vultures, was unbearable. The memory of her in the library, her fierce concentration, the hidden light in her when she explained sociology, it was getting snuffed out right in front of me. Her head bowed down to avoid making direct eye contact. They started laughing at her.

My golden heart, for all its faults, couldn't stand by and watch her cry again.

"You know her?" I heard my own voice, colder and sharper than I'd intended.

Both girls turned at the same time, an identical flicker of annoyance on their faces. It took them a second to register me. My height did the work for me. Their haughty expressions faltered just slightly.

"This doesn't concern you," the main girl snapped, recovering quickly.

"No, I think it does." I stepped forward until I was standing next to Haerin. I didn't look at her. I kept my eyes locked on the two of them. I felt a slight tremor run through Haerin as I approached. "You seem to be bothering my friend. So why don't you walk along?"

I gently moved Haerin behind me, a simple gesture that felt loaded with meaning.

"Wow, is this your new college boyfriend?" The second girl snickered. The main leader scoffed but her eyes were busy sizing me up. The sneer was still there, but there was a flicker of uncertainty now.

"We were just having a friendly conversation with an old classmate. Isn't that right, Haerin?" The main one directed her question over my shoulder.

She was quiet. I knew this was difficult for Haerin. I could practically feel her inner turmoil behind me, her introverted nature warring with a desperate want for this nightmare to be over.

"Whatever, we were leaving anyway," the tall girl said. She turned, giving me one last, dismissive glance. "Come on," she said, grabbing her friend's arm. They sauntered off.

I stood there for a second until they went around the corner, the faint sounds of their laughter swallowed by the campus hum. The rage I had felt for her, it was hot, white and pure. It was so intense my hands were shaking. A different, more complicated kind of fury bubbled under my skin.

My attention snapped back to Haerin. She was looking down at her shoes, her arms wrapped around her stomach as if trying to hold herself together. "Are you okay?" I reached my hand out, gently touching her forearm. She flinched.

"Hey," I said in a softer tone. She finally looked up. Her cat-like eyes looked glassy, but she fought hard, not letting any tears fall down.

"Thank you," she whispered. She was trembling slightly against my hand. The sight made something raw and protective ache inside me.

"Just some old high school classmates," she stated. She took a shaky breath and tried for a smile. It didn't reach her eyes. "Sorry you had to see that."

"Haerin, don't apologize for that." I insisted. "They were... out of line." She didn't respond, just standing there, looking at the ground and trying to collect herself. We weren't more than a dozen steps from the library, but the world we had just stepped back into didn't fit.

I saw the exhaustion I'd noticed in the library. But now, that exhaustion was deepened, it had become more profound. The memory of her tapping her foot and the forced conversation we were having before about structural functionalism and social conflict seemed so distant. That life felt a million miles away. We were standing on an island now, and those bullies had crashed their ugly boat on it and ruined everything.

"Let's go get that ramen," I said, my voice decisive. "We're still on for it."

Haerin shook her head, "I... I don't think I can." She looked up at me, her face a mixture of gratitude and deep discomfort, like she wished I hadn't seen her at her most vulnerable. "I'd rather study. I'm sorry, Minjae." My heart sank.

But I wouldn't push her. To push would be a violation. So I simply nodded, the ramen plan dissolving like mist. "Okay. Right. Study." I handed her the coiled charger from my wrist. She took it, her fingers brushing against mine, another small, electric jolt that felt different from the one in the stacks.

"Bye, Minjae," Haerin bowed her head at me, something that caught me off guard.

"See you around, Haerin," I called out after her as she turned around and slowly walked away.

I just stood and watched her retreating figure, an invisible line had been drawn between us in that short, ugly confrontation. I brought my hands up to my head, pushing my hair back in frustration. What just happened, who were those girls? There was a raw, unprocessed ball of something swirling around inside me. It was anger, yes. But there was something else. Curiosity.

The way they were talking sounded like they knew something about Haerin that I didn't. Back in high school, they said. But this wasn't some puzzle for me to solve. This was her life. This story wasn't mine to know if she didn't want to tell me.

My anger started to solidify into resentment towards those unknown faces. I shook my head and my hair as I turned towards the direction of the Student Village and started walking. Going over everything, so much happened this week alone. It seemed like I did more thinking and feeling than I had in my entire life than studying for these exams. Oh, by the way, if you weren't keeping up, that's four classes I didn't study for and four midterms I practically failed. 

There we are, another slice of life chapter just to remind us that there are other people in this story! I took a moment to flesh out a bit of Haerin's backstory, maybe we'll find out exactly what happened to her? Who knows! Now that we got some character-building out of the way, Minjae, Chaewon, Haerin, the others, I think it's time for some smut again? Finals are coming up soon, so expect a semi-weak upload schedule from me :( - PI