Chapter 32: Two Gifts Under The Christmas Tree

Wednesday | December 20th, 2023 | 7:13 PM

It was a nice feeling. Slender fingers intertwined with mine, a warm touch against my cold palms. Our hands swung along to a gentle rhythm. There was a comforting weight in the air, and a soft presence at my side. It was a nice feeling, a nice night.

"Are you excited to get your ass kicked," she asked, the familiar teasing tone in her voice. Chaewon giggled and shrugged, the corners of her lips turning up into a grin. There it was, that playful glint in her eye, a shine that was just so uniquely her.

"Well, maybe, we'll see," I responded, squeezing her hand.

"I'm excited," Chaewon replied. Together, we walked from my car up towards the bowling alley's entrance. The doors were automatic, sliding open for us to step through. We entered the building and headed over to the shoe counter. The place was a lot bigger than it appeared. The entrance was a wide hallway, the walls lined with various arcade games and claw machines, and the area had a nice neon aesthetic that suited the dark mood lighting.

There were also multiple lanes, most of them taken by either families, friends, or other couples. "Have you been here before," I asked, looking at Chaewon for an answer. Her head snapped towards me after looking around, "Yeah, I have. I've been here with Sakura and the others before."

"Nice," I remarked, watching the older guy behind the counter get us our sized shoes. After paying, we took the shoes and headed over to our designated lane. I took a seat on the bench, unstrapping the shoes and switching them out. I had to adjust the laces a bit, but it wasn't long until we were both ready.

Chaewon stood up and walked to the console, putting our names in. My eyebrows rose, amused at the sight of her nickname for me. "Hey, you spelled my name wrong," I called out, making her head snap up. She glanced back, an incredulous look on her face.

"How? That's your name," she stated, pointing at the screen. The name 'Pinhead' was displayed, the letters flashing as a reminder. "Pinhead? Seriously," I said, my expression amused.

"You don't like it?" Chaewon asked, walking back towards me.

"It's a little childish," I responded, my hands finding the pockets of my jacket. She rolled her eyes and reached for my hand, pulling me up, "Don't be like that. It's fun, come on."

Together, we headed over to the racks where the bowling balls were kept. Chaewon immediately picked a green ball, the color resembling a lime. I found myself picking a red one, the color reminding me of an apple. I rolled it between my hands a bit as we walked back to our lane, testing the weight of I held it.

I glanced over at Chaewon, watching her hold her ball. It looked lighter than mine, the lime-green material definitely matched the neon aesthetic of the place. She brought it over and placed it down on the ball return, turning to look at me.

"You're up pinhead," Chaewon teased, a smirk on her face. I gave her a fake pout and walked over to the lane.

"Tell you what, loser has to buy food," I declared as I readied myself. She sat down on our lane's sofa and shrugged, "That's fine by me."

"Good luck," Chaewon taunted, the sound of her voice getting more distant. I recognized that competitive, teasing tone. I had seen so much of it back in high school, whether it was in the classroom or playing games. The girl loved a competition and I could tell she was fired up for this. I felt a fluttering feeling inside me, the sound of her voice, the familiarity.

"Please, I don't need luck." Eating my words, I walked up to the lane, holding the ball at my side. With a sigh, I stepped forward and swung, tossing the ball. My throw was off and the ball missed the pins entirely.

I let out a sigh and watched as it fell into the gutter, rolling to the end of the lane. "Oh, come on," I groaned. A giggle made me turn, seeing Chaewon holding her hands over her mouth.

"Ooh, you're bad," she commented, a wide grin on her face. I laughed at myself, a dry chuckle leaving me as I shook my head. I was never good at bowling, not once in my life. It just felt like a game of luck and luck wasn't something that favored me.

"Guess I am," I responded, walking back towards the ball return where my ball eventually came back up. I picked it up and made my way back to the lane, watching Chaewon get up from the sofa.

"C'mon, get at least one," She encouraged, patting me on the shoulder. I let out a breath, moving towards the lane and throwing again. The ball rolled along the wood floor, the momentum causing it to move towards the pins. It didn't fall in the gutter this time, instead, rolling into the pins and taking out eight of them.

Wow, that was more than I expected.

"Yes," I cheered, watching the pins get picked up. Chaewon smiled and cheered too, clapping her hands and jumping up and down for me. "You did it," she cheered.

"Okay, my turn," she said, moving past me and grabbing her bowling ball off the ball return. I dropped onto the sofa and clapped my hands gently, watching Chaewon get into position. "Go," I shouted, "you can do it!"

She looked at me and laughed, before looking forward and throwing the ball. Her aim was straight, and the ball was rolling down the lane smoothly, knocking into the pins and sending them flying. The sound of metal crashing and plastic colliding rang through my ears, and a grin grew on my face.

"Nice," I congratulated, seeing the result on the scoreboard. Nine of the pins were knocked down, only the spare remaining. "That should be easy for you," I said.

"You think so?" Chaewon responded, grabbing the ball and heading back over.

"Definitely," I assured, watching her roll the ball. It just breezed past it, barely missing the last pin. "Agh, close," she muttered, turning to me. I gave her a thumbs up and we switched again. I stepped up to the rack and picked up the red bowling ball. From behind, I heard her call after me, "Minjae!"

"Hm," I responded, turning to face her.

"Remember that one time you dropped a ball on your foot," Chaewon grinned, "I just suddenly remembered it." I let out a deep breath and chuckled, remembering the incident. Nothing too exciting, I just happened to not have a good grip and let a bowling ball drop on my foot. It didn't hurt too bad, but the embarrassing moment was what stuck with me.

"Yeah, I remember that," I answered, shaking my head, "that was embarrassing."

"Don't drop it on the other foot now," Chaewon teased, laughing at her joke. Even if we got older, her jokes and teasing stayed just as childish.

"Shut up," I said, throwing the ball and sending it flying down the lane. It cleanly swept through the side without falling into the gutter, taking down six pins. "Yes," I shouted, watching the pins get swept up.

"Good job," Chaewon cheered. "Your form was nice, keep that."

"Uh huh, someone's getting concerned, aren't they?" I asked, walking back to grab my ball from the return.

"What," Chaewon exclaimed, her voice going up in pitch. "I'm just encouraging you," she insisted.

"Right, right," I drawled, picking up my ball and turning around. "Let's see if you can beat this." I playfully slung the ball down the lane, not really aiming it anywhere in particular. Chaewon laughed behind me as we both watched the ball roll straight into the gutter, completely missing the pins.

"Ah," I smirked, the sound of Chaewon's laughter ringing through my ears.

"Pinhead," She taunted, walking past me to grab her ball. I went to sit down on the sofa and watch her. My arms found the sofa's armrest and I leaned back into the plush seat, relaxing and crossing one leg over the other. It felt like deja vu, sitting back and watching her bowl.

The way she tucked her hair behind her ear before bending over to pick up her ball, using two hands like she always did. That little juggle with the ball as she looked for the holes to put her fingers into, the small adjustment of her feet, and the way she stepped up and lined up with the lane.

It all brought back memories and it made my heart swell. My gaze softened, and a gentle smile found my lips as I watched her bowl. This is nice. Everything feels nice. Familiar. Like nothing has changed.

She was bouncing up and down, clapping her hands together. She turned to face me, a large smile on her face, "I got it, did you see?"

"Yeah," I laughed, the corners of my eyes crinkling as a large grin stretched across my face. My brief comfortable stay on the sofa was over and I found myself getting up and walking towards the rack to get my bowling ball.

"Let's see how long that will last," I declared.

"Oh please," Chaewon teased, rolling her eyes.

"Watch," I warned, the red bowling ball in my hand.

"Uh huh, I'm watching," she said, her arms crossed over her chest and a smirk on her face. "You can do it," she taunted, the grin on her face growing wider. I scoffed and turned around, looking down the lane. My mind raced with the different ways I could send this thing down the lane.

In my head, the physics of the game worked themselves out and I felt like I was making sense. Throw the ball straight down, make the pins knock into each other, get a strike, but it seemed my body wouldn't cooperate and do what I wanted it to do. My hand slipped and sent the ball down the lane, the object rolling sideways and thankfully knocking a single pin before disappearing into the gutter.

"Damn it," I mumbled, letting out a defeated sigh.

"You're not doing so great," Chaewon giggled, a hand over her mouth.

"Shut up," I shot back, giving her a playful glare.

"No, it's okay, we can't all be winners," she teased. My stare lingered a moment longer, and then a grin appeared on my face. "Right," I nodded. I don't know, I felt like a winner already. I finished my round, getting only four pins total and walked back to the sofa.

"So, how was the trip," Chaewon asked, the question directed towards me. She was standing, waiting for her ball to return, and when she turned to look at me, her brown eyes were shining.

"Oh," I let out, recalling the snow trip with the goobers. "It was pretty fun."

"That's good, what else did you guys do besides play in the snow?"

"Not much," I said, shrugging. "It was pretty much play around, go inside, repeat. We had a bunch of drinks, played some card games, and watched a couple of movies."

"That sounds fun," Chaewon said, a small smile appearing on her lips. She grabbed her ball from the return, and took a step towards the lane.

"It was, we had a lot of laughs." I murmured, briefly recalling the first night with Nakyung. My hand subconsciously rubbed against my crotch, feeling a slight throbbing. Chaewon clapped her hands after putting down seven pins and looked back at me with a wide grin.

"Now I feel like I missed out," she said, walking back.

"Next time," I told her, and she sat down beside me.

"Yeah, next time," she repeated, nodding. I got up with a grunt and walked towards the rack to grab my bowling ball. Reaching down and grabbing my red ball, I added, "I definitely needed that trip." I winded up and tossed the ball down the lane. The ball knocked down three pins, and Chaewon snickered from behind.

"You did?" She questioned, watching me walk back.

"My final grades came out," I stated, turning back to look at her.

"They did? How did they turn out," she questioned. I winced as I trailed towards the ball rack and a sigh left my mouth. If I had to sum it up into words, it would be a dumpster fire. This semester had to be my worst performing semester and the marks reflected that.

"Not the best," I sighed. "I mean I think I have a solid GPA, still," I said, reaching for the bowling ball. "But, this semester just sucked."

Chaewon tilted her head to the side, her eyebrows furrowing, “Wait, what does that mean? Minjae, you literally get straight A’s and B's.”

I scratched the back of my head, looking away. There was a tinge of embarrassment and shame that made itself known in the back of my head and it forced a dry laugh from me. "Yeah, not this semester," I responded.

"Seriously," Chaewon's eyes were wide.

"Yeah, seriously," I shrugged, throwing the heavy ball down the lane. Tsk. Gutter. "I flunked all my final exams, so that dragged my grades down like crazy," I explained, turning to look at her. Her eyes were wide, and her lips were parted, her expression incredulous.

"I've never done that, ever, so this was kind of new," I said, letting out a dry chuckle. It was a weird feeling, finally getting a "bad" grade, well, grades. It didn't sit right with me, and the disappointment I felt was hard to shake.

Chaewon blinked, still staring at me like I had just admitted to committing a crime. Her reaction made the lingering shame in my stomach curl tighter.

“You flunked?” she echoed, disbelief coloring her tone. I winced.

“Bombed,” I corrected, stepping back from the lane as the ball rolled uselessly down the gutter. “Like, not even a barely-passing kind of flunking. Full-on gutter ball.”

I turned away, pretending to study the ball rack, but I could feel her gaze still on me. A quiet pause stretched between us, filled only by the distant sound of pins crashing and faint pop music humming through the speakers.

Chaewon finally spoke, voice softer. “But… why? I mean, what happened?”

Taking my seat next to her on the sofa, I exhaled through my nose, rolling my shoulders like the weight pressing on me was something I could physically shake off. "I just, I got distracted, I guess. I didn't study much for them.”

Chaewon didn’t answer right away, and when I glanced at her, she was biting the inside of her cheek, brows slightly drawn together. Her arms were crossed over her chest now, fingers tapping idly against her sleeve.

“That’s not like you,” she murmured.

I forced a smirk. “Guess I took a break from being a nerd.”

The joke fell flat, and the tight frown didn't leave her lips. She always laughed, even if it was stupid or not, but instead, she remained silent. It made me uncomfortable and the knot in my stomach twisted. She let out a soft sigh and uncrossed her arms, leaning forward and placing her palms on her knees, "Minjae... you care a lot about your grades."

I did, and the fact that they tanked this semester made me feel like shit. And to be fair, it was my own fault, I didn't study for them. I wasn't going to bring that up again though, and instead, shrugged. "Yeah, but I said I still have a solid GPA. It's not the end of the world," I said, trying to keep my tone light.

Chaewon didn't respond. It was a brief moment of silence, and the pressure on me was making my body feel heavier. Her eyes were narrowed and fixed onto the floor, her lips pressed tightly together. I shifted, and the sound made her snap out of her thoughts.

"Sorry, just," Chaewon cleared her throat. "Still." The way her words came out slowly, and her hesitation made me curious. There was something else. She was worried about something else, and it wasn't the bad grades.

"Chae, I'm good," I insisted, adding a little laugh at the end. "Look, it's your turn to go."

Her frown deepened, and she gave me a searching look, the brown hues in her eyes shimmering. There was something, something that she wasn't telling me. It was obvious, but I wasn't going to force her. "Okay," she sighed, and the concern and tension left her expression. Our section of the bowling alley was the most quiet, and the lack of sound made everything around me louder. The sounds of balls colliding and pins falling rang in my ears, and it only emphasized the silence between us.

Standing up and grabbing her lime-green bowling ball, she stepped up to the lane and released a long, audible breath. She casually got away with putting down seven pins in total that frame, and sat back down on the sofa. I gave her a smile, "Hey, nice job." I got up from the sofa, the sound of my shoes against the floor reaching my ears.

"Thanks," she replied, a soft smile appearing on her lips. Her response sounded genuine enough, her tone was bright also. However, there was something that kept lingering in the back of my head. The concern in her expression, the way she bit her lip, and the heavy silence afterwards. There was something.

I couldn't figure it out.

I got up from the sofa with a grunt and walked towards the rack. Picking up my red bowling ball, I held it at my side and began walking towards the lane. It was a quick swing, the ball rolling down the lane and sweeping through the center. It swept straight down the middle, taking out seven pins and leaving only three.

I was finally getting warmed up, the ball finding the pins easier, but I couldn't be proud right now. My head was elsewhere. I could feel Chaewon's concerned gaze, the worry and anxiety in her brown eyes. It was clear. But why? Why would she be like this?

Why would she care this much?

I turned back and met her gaze while going for my ball, holding her eyes and looking for answers. But they were hidden, and her face was void of any hints or clues. There was nothing, except that concerned and worried expression. I didn't know how to react, I didn't know what to say, or if I should say anything at all.

Would it be right to press? To ask? Would she tell me? The setting wasn't right, we were at a bowling alley, things should be light-hearted and fun, not so... serious. I should probably change the subject since it's clearly bothering her. But I don't want her to hide from me. I can't handle her hiding something like this.

"What about you? How was your semester," I asked, trying to move past the awkwardness. It was a stupid question, but it was better than sitting here and not saying anything. It was definitely a bad question when her face didn't brighten up, instead, the frown was still on her face, the corners of her mouth turned downwards. Actually, it might've even made her mood worse.

"Fine," she shrugged.

"Just fine?" I chuckled, sitting back down on the sofa. Chaewon didn't share my laugh and a sigh left her lips. My gaze dropped to her hand, and I saw her playing with her bracelet. Twisting and twirling it with her index finger.

"Yeah," she nodded, looking ahead at the pins. "I did better than expected."

"Oh, well that sounds great," I grinned, leaning back and stretching my arm out along the top of the sofa. "Did you ever decide on a major, by the way?" It was a natural transition, one that should have flowed easily. But the moment I asked, Chaewon hesitated. It was subtle, just a slight tightening of her shoulders, a flicker of something in her expression, but I noticed.

She adjusted the hem of her sweater, eyes flicking toward the lane. “Not yet,” she said, a little too quickly.

I frowned slightly. “Still? I thought—”

“It’s complicated,” she cut in, the words rushed, almost defensive. I was ruining this night, wasn't I. Bringing up a shitty topic, then making it worse. Maybe I should just let it go. Let her drop the subject. Curiosity was burning in the back of my brain, the unanswered questions piling up. When will I get these answers?

"I'm sorry, didn't know you didn't wanna talk about it," I muttered. Chaewon's eyes darted toward me and she opened her mouth, but before a word could escape her lips, the sound of a loud crash and a cry made both of our heads snap toward the neighboring lane.

"Damn, he just ate shit," Another person in another neighboring lane exclaimed, as we watched a man fall face-first into the ground, his arms sprawled out in front of him. Not only that, his ball slowly rolled down the gutter.

"Oh my god," Chaewon gasped, a hand covering her mouth. I let out a few chuckles, a grin growing on my face. We couldn't help but watch as a group of friends ran to the fallen man's side, their panicked voices ringing in the air.

"Hope he's alright," I muttered.

And then, before I could say anything else, she gave me a quick, playful bump with her elbow. “Watch this, I'm going to get a strike again. Loser has to treat the winner, remember that," she teased.

Her voice was light again, her smile back in place. If I hadn’t been paying attention, I might not have even caught the shift. I let her have her moment, but the feeling didn't disappear. It lingered, and I couldn't ignore the slight tension in my gut. Something had to be bothering her, and it was more than just her schoolwork.

But, the look on her face when I asked her about her major, the tight line of her mouth, the furrow of her brow, and the way she had immediately shut down, were clear signs that she didn't want to talk about it. I let out a breath, shaking my head, and turned away. I should let her have her space. She could bring it up if she wanted. I'm her boyfriend, we're on a date right now, we can talk about these kinds of things some other time, can't we?

So, instead, I smiled, leaning forward and resting my elbows on my knees.

"Alright, show me," I chuckled. She was a little stiff as she walked up, but the tension faded as she grabbed the ball and rolled. Another strike.

"Ha, what did I say," she cheered, pumping her fist.

"I know, you're going to beat me, I'm aware," I admitted, shaking my head. "This was a bad idea."

"Awe, it's okay, you can't be the best at everything," Chaewon teased.

"You're really pushing it today," I groaned.

"And, you're not doing well, soooo," Chaewon trailed off, smiling widely. I shook my head, unable to keep a straight face. She was enjoying this too much.

"Right, right," I responded. We played for another few rounds, the air returning to its usual easy flow until the end of our game and the unsurprising result of my ass getting kicked. Chaewon had won, but by a margin so large, it was almost embarrassing.

"We should go eat something," Chaewon suggested, the two of us untying our shoes, "Oh, and who's paying?"

"I am," I replied, not looking up while chuckling.

"Of course," Chaewon grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, you're just going to keep gloating," I laughed, shaking my head.

"It was fun," she exclaimed, and when I looked up, her brown eyes were wide. "Wasn't it?"

"Yeah," I smiled, looking away. My heart fluttered, and the corner of my lips turned upward. I had missed her, and being able to spend time with her after not seeing her for a while felt natural. Like everything had gone back to normal. Back when everything was okay, and nothing could go wrong. This felt nice, and the happiness that had bubbled inside me was a stark contrast to the dull throbbing in my head.

We walked to the front where we deposited our shoes and left the alley together. The night sky was pitch black, and the cold was unforgiving. We shuffled to my car, laughing at each other's complaints about the weather.

"I hate the cold," Chaewon shivered, her hands rubbing her arms. I hurried over to my car and threw open Chaewon's door, and she quickly jumped in. I shut the door and opened the driver's side, jumping in. The cold didn't affect me as much as it did her, but the temperature still was noticeable.

"Where to," I asked, starting the car. We had to suffer a gust of cold wind, but after the engine turned on, the heat started. Chaewon hummed, and her hand reached over to the heater.

"You choose," she offered, "I feel bad after winning." I mocked her as she laughed at her diss, "Yeah, whatever. Pizza? You like that right?"

"Pizza's good," Chaewon confirmed. She leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the lips, "Good choice," before settling back into her seat and looking out of the window. I let out a breath, and it left a trail of condensation on the glass. The kiss had caught me by surprise, but the gesture was comforting.

Everything felt right, and it made the ache in my head dull. It was all back to normal, and that's what mattered.

Saturday | December 23rd, 2023 | 7:32 PM

I slid my keys out of my car's ignition, and the sudden silence that followed made me feel like a zombie. I lifted my head up towards the house I parked in front of and stared. A single lamp on the porch lit the concrete beneath it. It was a dim light, barely illuminating anything. The curtains were closed, but the lights were on inside, and through the thin white material, the silhouettes of the residents were visible.

They were probably watching TV. Or cooking.

The butterflies in my stomach were swarming, and it was the first time that the nervous feeling wasn't accompanied by the desire to leave. More like determination, or the need to overcome a challenge. I pushed open my car door and greeted the cold winter air. Shutting the door behind me, I made my way to the front door, the soles of my shoes making quiet tapping noises against the concrete path.

I raised my knuckle and froze. I'm here, right? Yeah. Okay, just knock, it's no big deal.

I let out a shaky breath and knocked. My eyes glanced towards the driveway. The familiar black Honda Accord was there, and the sight helped ease the butterflies, but just a bit. From behind me, I heard the front door unlocking, and the doorknob twisted. I turned back around and came face to face with Haerin.

"Minjae, hey," Haerin greeted, opening the door wider. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, and she had a pair of black-framed glasses on her nose. She was wearing a white sweater and a pair of sweatpants. Her hair was tied back into a messy bun.

I've seen her countless times, with her nose buried in her homework, hiding away on the second floor of the library in that back corner, standing stiffly at my volleyball games, and smiling shyly from the bleachers. But, seeing her like this, comfortable, and relaxed, was new. The nervous fluttering in my stomach intensified.

"Uh, hi," I said, forcing a chuckle after what I realized must've been an awkward moment of silence from me.

"You're just standing there," she said, her voice a little soft, but not quite shy, "Are you coming in or not?"

"Right," I said, taking a step inside, and as I stepped over the threshold, a warmness enveloped me. A scent of cinnamon filled the air, and the light was dim, and the house was clean, the sound of music coming from somewhere further in. Haerin closed the door behind me, and it clicked shut.

"I didn't think you'd actually come," she remarked.

"Why wouldn't I," I questioned.

"I don't know," she shrugged, walking past me. I followed after her with my hands shoved into the pockets of my jacket. As we rounded the corner, a large kitchen opened up and the music became clearer. Hanni and Danielle were standing at the end of a long kitchen counter, the former hunched over a sheet of cookie dough with a rolling pin in hand.

Danielle, with her long brown hair tied back into a ponytail, beamed at me, "Hi, Minjae!"

Hanni's gaze shot up and she gave a small smile, "Minjae!"

"Hey, guys," I answered, nodding at them. It was nice to see them. The last time we interacted was at the last game of my intramural season which was about a few weeks ago before the semester ended.

"We're trying to make gingerbread cookies," Danielle called out, her hands covered in flour. "The dough is so sticky," she whined, wiping her forehead and smearing a streak of flour on her skin. Hanni snorted, "Stop getting the dough everywhere, gosh."

Danielle giggled, and her gaze flicked towards me, and she waved. Her hand had flour caked onto it, and when she moved her arm, a cloud of the white powder flew into the air. "Oops," she giggled, "Don't get too close."

"I'm not," I assured, planting myself near the entryway. Haerin brushed past me, and she joined the other girls at the counter. She pulled out a tray and ripped parchment paper to line with, her movements careful and slow. "We've been working on the cookies for the last twenty minutes," Hanni huffed, stepping aside to give Haerin space, "but Danielle couldn't roll the dough properly, and neither can I."

"I thought they'd be easy to make," Haerin sighed, grabbing the rolling pin.

"Me too," Danielle laughed, "but they're really hard!" She came over to Haerin's side, and she placed her palms flat against the counter, leaning forward and watching her work on the dough.

"How does this look," Haerin asked, stepping aside after working on the dough for a good bit. Hanni and Danielle hummed, looking at the flat sheet of dough, "Not bad! Good job!"

"Thanks," Haerin chuckled, pushing the tray to the side. "Do you want to help, Minjae," Danielle asked, and all three pairs of eyes snapped to me. I blinked, and the nervousness I felt before had disappeared. They had a welcoming atmosphere, one that made me feel like I was just part of the group even if I haven't talked to them regularly.

"Uh, yeah, sure," I agreed.

"Come on, then," Danielle gestured, and I walked up to the kitchen counter. Haerin gave me a small smile as I walked past her, and she returned her attention back to the counter. Her hand reached for a container of cookie cutters.

"You can help us cut out the cookies," Hanni smiled, reaching for a gingerbread man-shaped cookie cutter.

"Here," Haerin said, pointing out the lined tray. "You guys can press out the shapes and I'll place the dough onto the baking sheet."

"Sounds easy enough," I nodded, giving a small smile. The four of us got to work, with Danielle, Hanni, and I cutting out the cookies, and Haerin placing them on the baking sheet. The music playing in the background was calming, and before I knew it, the tray was full and the cookie dough was used up.

"Ah, we forgot to preheat the oven," Hanni gasped. Haerin hurried over to the stove and quickly set the dial, a small sheepish grin on her lips. "Sorry, I was supposed to do it but I went to open the door for Minjae and forgot," she admitted.

"No worries, we're not in a rush," Hanni waved, brushing some loose strands of hair away from her face. "We can set out some snacks if we're going to be watching a movie anyways," Danielle suggested, wiping her hands off with a towel.

Haerin's eyes lit up, "Oh, yeah, we should." She moved her head around the kitchen, looking around, "Um, can you guys take care of setting up? I'll deal with cleaning and putting the movie on."

"Sure," Danielle grinned. Hanni nodded, and the two of them walked past me. I was following behind before I stopped near Haerin, "Do you need help?"

"Hm," Haerin's eyes flitted around the room, looking over the dishes, "No, it's fine. I can do it myself, you can just help the others. There's chips in the pantry over there," she gestured, and I saw the double doors on the other side of the room. I studied her face, and when her lips curled into a smile, the unease in my gut lessened.

"Alright, have fun," I said, shuffling away. When I reached the pantry, the other two girls were already in front of the shelves of snacks, their voices low and murmuring. "What are we getting," I asked, my hand resting on the handle.

"Hm," Hanni looked back at me, and she glanced back at Danielle.

"Definitely chips," Danielle declared.

"And something else," Hanni added, her eyes scanning the selection of food in front of her.

"Popcorn," I suggested, looking over their heads.

"Popcorn," Hanni repeated, a finger pressed against her chin. "Good idea, let's go with that."

"You should pick something too, Hanni. Each of us picks one," Danielle said, pushing Hanni's shoulder.

"Well, um, if that's what we're doing, I think we should go with," Hanni leaned in, squinting her eyes. "Chocolate." She bent down and picked up a party bag of assorted chocolate bars, "Let's get this." Hanni shimmied past me and exited the pantry. Danielle took up the spot where Hanni had stood and grabbed a bag of sour cream and onion chips and a bag of barbecue chips and passed it into my hands.

"Popcorn's right here," She reached up towards the top shelf, her fingers barely brushing the surface. Danielle was on her tiptoes, stretching as much as she could. From where I stood, her shirt rode up, and the hem had ridden up along the smooth plane of her skin. Her waist was tiny, and I could see the intricate details of her well-defined abs.

I hesitated before shoving the bags under my arm and moving in behind her, stretching my arm above her head. My fingers gripped the pack of popcorn, and I pulled it off the shelf.

"Got it," I muttered, bringing the package down and handing it to her.

"Thanks," Danielle giggled, looking back at me, her cheeks a little flushed. "I couldn't reach," she breathed.

"Yeah, no worries," I cleared my throat.

"Thank god, you're tall," Danielle teased, her smile widening.

"Oh, yeah," I stuttered, not knowing what to say. I caught the glimmer in her eyes, and then she turned away, her hair bouncing behind her. She brushed past me, and the warmth emanating from her body felt pleasant. She smelled good, sweet, and spicy. Before I could freeze up, I looked away and exited the cramped room.

Haerin was finishing washing the last of the dishes, and Danielle was unwrapping popcorn bags near the microwave. I walked past the two of them and entered the living room, where Hanni had already laid out the chocolates on the coffee table.

She was sitting on the couch, with an opened Snickers bar in her mouth. I laughed as I deposited the chip bags onto the table, "You know we haven't started yet, right?"

"What," she shrugged, "Is there a law against snacking? Want one?" She offered a Twix. I reached out and took the chocolate. The packaging crinkled, and the plastic opened with a crack. I bit into the chocolate, the sweet caramel filling and the crunchy biscuit melting in my mouth.

"Thanks," I mumbled, sitting on the edge of the couch armrest. From the kitchen, I could hear the popping of popcorn, and the smell was wafting in the air. I could tell the other two girls were chatting away, probably about something I wouldn't understand. Hanni and I sat there, our jaws working the candy in our mouths, the air filled with a comfortable silence.

The microwave went off, and the sounds of feet moving through the kitchen grew louder. Eventually, Haerin and Danielle entered the living room, arms full of bags of popcorn. Danielle dropped them onto the table, the plastic crinkling.

"So," Danielle said, her hands planted on her hips. "Movie," she declared.

"Right, what movie should we watch," Haerin questioned, picking up a remote. She turned on the TV, and the screen flickered to life. "I don't have a preference so you guys can choose."

"Horror," Danielle suggested.

"Romance," Hanni retorted.

"Something in between," I proposed, and Danielle turned around and beamed.

"Perfect," she nodded, "What do you think, Haerin?"

Haerin tapped her chin, and she looked over her shoulder. "I don't know. Let's see what's available," she hummed. She pressed a few buttons and the screen switched over to a streaming site. We flipped through a couple of movies until we settled on one.

It ended up being a romance movie, which Hanni was happy with and Danielle and I could agree on. Haerin set the movie on, and the intro started. Danielle and Hanni already took their seat on the couch.

"Come, we'll squeeze together," Danielle patted the spot next to her for Haerin. The three girls squished together, their legs pressed together, and their bodies pushed up against one another.

Initially, I was fine with the armrest but I noticed a lone recliner, so I opted to sit on that instead. I sunk into the plush cushion and let out a breath. My hands reached forward and I tore open a bag of popcorn, munching away at the kernels.

Danielle had her legs drawn up, folded underneath her. Hanni's feet were stretched out onto the coffee table, her toes wiggling. The lights were turned off and the room was filled with a yellow glow from the tv as the movie finally started. It was peaceful and the quiet chatter and crunching of snacks made the air feel cozy.

I relaxed, letting the cushions of the chair engulf me, and the soft music played through the TV speakers. The opening scenes were simple, nothing interesting, and the plot was generic, a girl falling for a guy who seemed to not care for her, but it was relaxing, and the characters were nice.

The first half-hour was quiet, and the girls were enamored by the movie, occasionally whispering to each other. I didn't pay much attention to what they were saying, but they didn't say anything too distracting. As time passed and my popcorn bag emptied, I found myself engrossed by the story.

You know, there's those movies or shows you're watching that some part of you can't help but just relate to or feel a strong connection towards. This movie was doing just that for me. I didn't notice that the movie was doing that, and by the time I realized it, I couldn't look away. Why did I feel like this movie was a retelling of my own love life?

The main girl in the story had fallen for the boy, a childhood friend of hers. But, the friend had fallen for another girl before she built up her courage to tell him how she felt. The movie progressed, and the relationship between the main girl and the friend grew complicated. It was a cliche romance, but the feelings were raw, and I couldn't bring myself to look away.

I felt like this guy was a reflection of me. And the main girl was a reflection of Haerin. My feelings were more complicated than what was presented on screen, but it was still weird. I know I was making assumptions though, because even I wasn't completely sure if Haerin was into me. I mean, maybe? I couldn't be certain.

As the movie continued, the atmosphere changed, and the main girl finally had to make a decision. Did she keep pining after the guy? Or, did she let him go? It was a choice I had made. In the movie, she chose to keep her feelings hidden. That was the decision I made.

I don't know what made the movie resonate so much with me, but the way the story was told, and the character's development felt so real. Like I was reliving the moment, and I was making the same choice.

A hand suddenly came into view and held a mug out. I followed the arm up, my gaze landing on Haerin's awaiting face. "For you," she whispered, offering a mug of hot chocolate. I paused, looking down at the steaming cup before looking back at her.

"Thanks," I said.

She didn't say anything else, simply nodding and walking off to take her seat with the girls. I tried to bring my attention back to the movie but I stared down at the hot chocolate, the smell wafting up, filling my nose with the sweet scent. She didn't need to do that. I'm surprised she thought of me.

I mindlessly swirled the mug around, watching the liquid spin in circles. I exhaled lightly, pushing the rising steam before I took a slow sip. The warmth settled around my palms and moved against the back of my throat. I could taste the faint notes of vanilla, the sweetness coating the inside of my mouth. For some reason, I found myself paying attention to the weight of the cup more than I should've.

I had missed a good chunk of the movie being caught in my own thoughts that I removed myself from watching the movie and simply simmered in the chair. By the time I had brought my attention back to the screen, the credits had begun rolling, and the lights had suddenly flicked back on.

I blinked rapidly, trying to adjust my vision.

"That was so good," Hanni gushed, standing up and stretching. Danielle agreed, a smile on her lips, and she stood, gathering up the snacks. Haerin stood in the corner next to the light switches, a small smile on her lips, and she nodded along with their words.

"The ending was so unexpected, too," Hanni exclaimed.

"Right? I can't believe that actually happened," Danielle laughed, throwing her head back. "That was definitely one of the best rom-coms we've watched," she said, looking over at Haerin.

"Yes," Hanni squealed, bouncing in place, "Definitely one of my favorites."

"I liked it too," Haerin smiled, looking down, her gaze flitting around.

"Mhm," I mumbled, standing up, unsure what to do with myself.

"Well, now what," Hanni wondered, placing her hands on her hips. "I took the cookies out earlier, they should've cooled by now," Haerin brought up.

"Cookies!" Hanni and Danielle squealed, their gazes wide, their faces bright. The two of them wrapped their arms around Haerin's and dragged her away. The three girls giggled and skipped away, leaving me in the living room.

They're certainly energetic, I thought to myself. I followed behind, slowly making my way to the kitchen. The three girls were crowded around the island, the tray with freshly baked cookies, and several bags of different colored frosting scattered around.

"They came out so good," Hanni squealed, her fingers twitching.

"Come over here, Minjae," Danielle beckoned, and she waved her hand.

I moved forward, standing across from the three girls. "You choose first, what do you want to decorate," Hanni grinned, sliding the tray forward.

"Um," I said, picking up a snowman shaped cookie, "I'll do a snowman."

"Ooh, nice," Danielle clapped, leaning forward, her eyes gleaming. "I'll do the Santa one!" She reached forward, snatching up a cookie.

"Then, I'll do the Christmas tree," Hanni said, grabbing a tree-shaped cookie.

"What are you going to do, Haerin," Danielle asked, turning her attention to the girl.

"Hmm," she hummed, "I'll just do a gingerbread man, then." She picked up a gingerbread-shaped cookie and held it in her palm.

"Good choice," Hanni chirped. The four of us picked up different colored frostings and we got to work. They were focused on their cookies, and the air was silent. Hanni was the first to break the silence, "Mine is coming along nicely, if I say so myself."

"Let me see," Danielle leaned over, peeking. She grinned, her gaze flicking between the cookie and the girl, "Yeah, it looks pretty good!"

"How about yours, Minjae?" Haerin asked, tilting her head, her brown eyes peering at me.

"Uh, not done yet," I laughed. Decorating wasn't a strong suit of mine, and that was clear with my shaky linework and my messy drawing that I called a face.

Danielle and Hanni laughed, and I couldn't help the flush on my cheeks. "Don't worry," Hanni reassured, waving her hand, "It's cute in its own way!"

"It is," Haerin agreed.

"Thanks," I mumbled, ducking my head down and trying to fix my snowman's crooked smile.

"How about you, Haerin? What does yours look like," Danielle inquired.

"Hm," Haerin raised her plate. In the center was a gingerbread man, and she had taken her time, carefully applying the frosting and even adding little details like a bowtie and shoes.

"You were always good at drawing," I commented, glancing up. Haerin looked back at me, her brown eyes meeting my gaze. I might've been projecting, but I thought I saw a pink hue grow on her cheeks.

"Ah, thanks," she shook her head, smiling bashfully.

"I can't believe it," Hanni exclaimed. The three of us snapped our attention to the girl, and we stared at her.

"What's wrong," Danielle asked, a brow quirked.

"Presents!" Hanni screeched, and the girl hurried out of the kitchen. Danielle gasped and dropped her frosting, her hand pressed to her mouth. "You're right," she muttered, chasing after Hanni. Haerin's eyes were wide, with a quiet realization and she placed her cookie on the counter and rushed out after the two.

I stood there, my hands frozen in place. A beat passed, and the realization settled in. "Ah, fuck," I cursed. Not long after, the girls returned around the island, each of them holding small gifts.

"Here, this one's for you Minjae, here," Hanni held a gift box out, a blue wrapping paper, with a white ribbon tied around it. Danielle leaned in, "It's from the both of us."

I let out a surprised laugh, "Aw, thanks, you shouldn't have. I feel bad because I didn't get anything."

"Oh, don't be," Hanni waved her hand, her mouth curved up. "Remember when you helped us with our exam? This is the least we could do," she beamed.

"Yeah, we wanted to give something back," Danielle grinned. I chuckled and nodded, "Thank you, guys." My fingers worked at the wrapping paper, tearing the paper apart. When I lifted the cover off the box, I stared. Inside the box was a pair of shoes, purple basketball sneakers.

"We wanted to get you a pair of new shoes for volleyball, but we didn't know what your favorite color was. We hope you like them," Hanni said, and Danielle nodded.

"I- thank you, I really appreciate it," I stuttered, a smile growing on my lips.

"Mhm," Danielle nodded.

"You're welcome," Hanni grinned. It had been a while since I got a gift for Christmas. This was unexpected, and the warm feeling bubbling in my chest was pleasant. "This means a lot, thanks," I mumbled, a flush coloring my cheeks.

"Haerin," Danielle called out, and the girl looked over. The girl held a small red box, "Here's your gift." Haerin's lips parted, her gaze switching between the gift and the girls, "I wonder what it is." She took it into her hands and worked on the wrapping.

Her nimble fingers worked through the folds and creases and the paper fell away. Haerin lifted the lid, and she reached in, pulling out a thin black case. Her brows rose, and she clicked open the top. Inside, a delicate silver necklace rested, and she ran her thumb over the cool metal.

"Wow," she whispered, her gaze wide, "It's so pretty."

"We thought you'd like it," Hanni chimed.

"I love it, thank you," she murmured. She carefully set the case on the table, and she threw her arms around the girls. Hanni and Danielle squealed, their eyes sparkling as their friend hugged them tightly. Haerin's gaze met mine, and her smile was the brightest I had ever seen, the corners of her eyes crinkling.

My breath caught in my throat, and the world stilled for a moment. Haerin's cheeks were flushed, her pink lips curving up. Her eyes were warm, the lights dancing inside the deep pools of brown. She looked genuinely happy, her gaze brimming with delight and the warmth radiating off her made the air feel fuzzy.

"You should wear it," I found myself saying, my lips moving before my brain could process it.

"Yeah," Danielle agreed. Haerin released her hold on the two, and Hanni wrapped around Haerin's back. Danielle took the necklace from Haerin's fingers and held the chain up to Hanni. The light reflected off the surface and sparkled, the silver glittering. Haerin gathered her hair and moved it out of the way for Hanni to clasp the chain around her neck.

The ends clicked together, and the chain hung, resting on her chest.

"Looks pretty," Hanni nodded, stepping back. Haerin let her hair fall, and the ends tickled her neck. She turned her body around, facing the other three of us.

"Does it," she breathed, her lips curving up.

"Yes," the girls said, the word tumbling out of their mouths.

"Thank you," she whispered, her finger fiddling with the silver chain. She held out two matching gift bags towards Hanni and Danielle, "This is my gift to you."

"Aw," Hanni cooed, taking the bag and reaching inside. "Ooh, a bath bomb," Danielle hummed, "And a scented candle."

"These are going to be so fun to use," Hanni gushed.

"I'm glad you like them," Haerin smiled, and the two girls gave her a side hug. I was watching, my eyes darting between the three of them and stupidly smiling at their friendly exchange. It was sweet. Haerin caught my stare, and her eyes lingered for a moment. She held out a final small box, and a tiny smile spread across her lips.

"This is your gift," she said, a blush growing on her cheeks, "It's no bath bomb or candles, and I kind of got it last minute," she let out a small, shy laugh. I was taken aback.

"Ah," I chuckled, reaching out for the box. The box was cool to the touch, and I held it gently. I unwrapped the wrapping paper, tearing it away and throwing it aside. Underneath the paper was a cardboard box, and the top came off with a pop.

I stared down at the contents. Nestled inside was a simple bookmark, but what caught my attention was the words written across the length. 'Don't overthink it' was printed in a neat script, and I read the sentence over and over again. For a moment, I was reminded of the last time Haerin and I spent time together.

That night we spent at the park, talking and sharing our familiar experiences with overthinking. It had only been a few weeks since, and I thought it had felt much longer. But, it seemed Haerin had remembered, and the bookmark was her reminder, and her way of telling me, don't overthink it.

I let out a short laugh, and a smile grew on my lips, "It's perfect."

"You think," Haerin wondered, her brows arched, her fingers playing with the end of her sleeve.

"I do," I nodded, grinning. "Thank you," I said, my tone light and playful.

"Of course," Haerin smiled, the ends of her mouth curling up. I didn't know what would be appropriate, but I didn't overthink it. I leaned in and threw my arms around the girl, hugging her tightly.

Her body was warm, her soft hair brushing against my skin, the sweet scent of her perfume filling the air. Haerin didn't move for a moment, and her breath hitched, but slowly, her arms moved, and her hands pressed against my back. Her face was buried in my shoulder, and I felt her hot breaths.

I didn't know what was going through her head, but her embrace was firm, and the way she hugged me made my heart beat faster. The hug didn't last long, but the moment her arms slipped away, I felt cold.

"You're welcome," Haerin whispered, a faint pink dusting her cheeks, her gaze down. I was smiling, the happiness welling inside of me was uncontainable, and I could only smile. "Well, now that presents are done," Hanni interrupted, and the rest of us turned our heads towards her, "I think this was a great Christmas get together!"

"Yeah," Danielle agreed, nodding.

"We should do it again," Hanni proposed, a gleam in her eyes when she picked up her frosting bag. She went back to work on her cookie, and the conversation carried on. I couldn't focus on what they were talking about. I could only bring myself to think of the bookmark in my hands.

'Don't overthink it'

The words were burned into my head. It was such a small gift, but the weight was heavy. My thumb traced the letters, the smooth surface catching the light. I couldn't tell if the words were meant for me or herself. Was she giving me a reminder, or was she telling herself not to overthink it?

Either way, it felt personal. She could've gotten a random trinket, but she specifically chose something that was meaningful and the thought behind it was enough.

I smiled, and I let my hands drop to the side, holding the bookmark close to my leg. I glanced over at Haerin. Her head was tilted back, and she was laughing, a bright, melodic sound. She was leaning forward, her shoulders shaking, her fingers curling around the edge of the counter.

Her eyes were shut, and a smile was spread across her pink lips. Haerin had her friends by her side, and the three of them were enjoying each other's company, and a part of me couldn't help but feel happy. The sight warmed my heart, and a wave of peace washed over me, and a smile crept up onto my lips. Maybe, I was just overthinking things.

I pushed ahead my attempt at a snowman and went for a tree-shaped cookie instead. My frosting work was no better, but it was an improvement. I was able to add more than three colors and not have shaky linework. The cookie looked somewhat okay.

"Good job," Danielle said, patting my back.

"Thanks," I said, the tips of my ears turning pink.

"It's the thought that counts," Hanni chimed in, smiling.

"Exactly," Haerin agreed, and the two girls nodded. I looked at my cookie, and I tried not to think too much of it. Eventually, all the cookies were decorated, and we stood around, admiring our work. You can easily tell who did what based on the styles and the decorations. Hesitant strokes and out of place colors were obviously mine. Neat and carefully drawn designs were Haerin. Colorful and messy strokes were Danielle's and Hanni's.

"Well," Danielle started, clapping her hands, "This was really nice, but it's getting late. We should get going." Hanni bounced her head and leaned in to give Haerin a tight hug, "Thanks for having us over. We had a great time."

"Yes, it was lovely," Danielle chirped, stepping in.

"Mhm," Haerin hummed, smiling and holding the girls, "I'm glad you two could come."

"Us too," Hanni beamed, and Danielle nodded.

"Alright," Haerin said, her eyes warm, a soft smile on her lips, "Let me walk you out." Her eyes flicked up and met my gaze. I held her stare, and my lips parted, "I should head home too."

"Alright," Haerin echoed, tilting her head and giving me a nod. She moved her arm, gesturing for the girls to go first, and they left, chatting as they walked down the hallway. I grabbed the bag with the shoes and followed after them.

We stopped by the door, and the girls slipped their coats on, and Haerin gave the two one last hug.

"Merry Christmas, Minjae," Hanni exclaimed, stepping forward.

"Merry Christmas," Danielle chirped.

"Happy holidays, guys," I said, smiling. The two of them smiled and stepped out. They waved goodbye and skipped down the steps. Haerin and I watched as the two of them walked to their car. I stepped out onto the porch with Haerin, and I shivered. It was chilly.

Haerin sighed and turned, meeting my gaze. "Thank you for coming," she said, her voice quiet.

"Thanks for having me," I said, the edges of my mouth tugging upwards. "Your house is so welcoming," I continued, a soft chuckle slipping out.

"I'm glad," she mumbled, her lips curving up. She let out a drawn out sigh and tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling of her porch. She was silent for a moment.

"What is it," I asked, curious.

"Relieved," she mumbled. "I never had people over, so I was just nervous the entire night," she confessed.

"Really," I asked, surprised.

"Really," she laughed. "I just hope they had a good time. Oh, and you too, I hope you had a good Christmas experience with us," she added. I held up my hand, showing off the bookmark. My thumb tapped the message written on it, directing it at her.

"Right," she nodded. "Tonight was fun," she said, and a soft smile spread across her face, her brown eyes gleaming. I nodded and smiled, "Yeah, today was great."

Haerin hummed, and the sound was gentle. The night air was quiet, and the world was still, except for the two of us. We stood, silently, staring at the street. Her friends had already driven away, and their car was no longer there.

"I should get going," I broke the silence.

"Yeah," Haerin shook her head, her fingers fiddling with the chain of her necklace, "Drive home safe."

"Of course," I assured, giving her a quick nod. She smiled, and the ends of her mouth tugged upwards. She was leaning against the frame of the door, her gaze soft, the lights in her brown eyes warm. She looked... comfortable. At peace. She looked completely different from the Haerin I had met those few months ago, the timid girl hiding in the corner, trying to go unnoticed.

The girl was doing better, and she had her friends by her side. It made me smile. I turned on my heel, and the bag rustled against my leg. A little sound from Haerin caught my attention and caused me to pause. "Hm," I hummed, looking over my shoulder.

Her mouth was open, the syllables dying in her throat. She was frozen for a second. Her face flushed, and she ducked her head, her hair falling around her. "Merry Christmas," she squeaked.

My mouth opened, but the words got stuck. "Merry Christmas," I echoed, the sound soft. For a second, it almost felt like something else should be said, something else should happen. But, the moment passed, and the words stayed unsaid. I walked down the steps, the cold nipping at my exposed skin.

Regardless, I let my feet carry me to the car, and I slipped into the warmth of the interior as I started my engine. For some reason, I couldn't help but glance over my shoulder. Through the windshield, the figure standing by the front door was barely visible. Just as I was about to look away, she turned and stepped inside. The front door shut after her.

I sat there for a second longer, fingers resting against the wheel. I wasn’t sure why I had expected her to linger. Then I was just realizing it, I had lingered too. 

Wooooo! This one came out quick, probably because I was looking forward to writing more Chaewon and Haerin! I wanted to get some character building out of the way in lieu of the new semester for Minjae and company, who knows what this semester has in store for him! New classes, new classmates, who knows! Thanks for keeping up! - PI