Chapter 15: We're So Haikyuu-Coded

Wednesday | October 25th, 2023 | 7:31 AM

"You're up early." Seulgi said. I was sitting on the couch, the television set on some random channel. I wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying. I more or less had it on for some white noise background. Seulgi had walked out of her room, rubbing her eyes. Her hair was tousled and messy, and her pajamas were wrinkled.

"You're up early, too," I said, scooting over and making more room on the couch. Seulgi plopped down on the couch next to me, wrapping a blanket around herself. "What are you doing up?"

"I woke up and I couldn't go back to sleep, so I decided to eat an early breakfast," I gestured towards the bowl of milk on the coffee table in front of us.

"Hmm," Seulgi hummed, nodding. I looked over at her and she was staring blankly at the TV screen, her expression neutral.

"Did I make too much noise? Sorry if I did," I murmured.

"No, not really. Just woke up and couldn't fall asleep either." She yawned, her eyelids fluttering shut. "I don't think I've had proper sleep in weeks."

"That's rough," I said. I haven't seen or spent time with Seulgi recently, she seemed to be a little bit busier than usual. She would always come home late and leave early, so we haven't had much time to hang out, even though we lived in the same dorm.

"Yeah." She yawned again. I aimlessly patted the armrest next to me, the sound of her breathing filling the silence. "So, uh, how've you been? Feels like you haven't been home recently,” I brought up.

"I could say the same for you," She snorted, "I've been fine. Just studying, being with Minhyuk, the usual."

"Mhm, right." 

"Speaking about Minhyuk, our trip is this weekend. You're still housesitting for him right?" Seulgi brought up. I was reminded of the morning that Minhyuk dropped the job on me, guilt tripping me with breakfast and Seulgi's presence.

"Yup," I popped the 'p' at the end. "Still doing that for you guys."

"Great," Seulgi hummed, nodding her head. There was another beat of silence, "You're not going to be doing much, just watering his family's garden and feeding their dog. Shouldn't take too long, probably an hour tops. Maybe a little bit more."

"Alright," I sighed, "Sounds easy enough."

"Mhm." She replied, "And, if you have some spare time, play around with his dog? It'd be nice if he was still active while Minhyuk was out."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you need, Seulgi."

"Cool," Seulgi sighed. "Minhyuk will send the keys and stuff later. It's not that bad of a drive from here, about maybe 10 minutes max."

"I'll figure it out, no worries."

"Good." She breathed. There was a lull in the conversation and Seulgi and I watched the television in silence, neither of us saying anything. We were watching some infomercial, and the overly enthusiastic lady was explaining how this specific hair dryer was better than the competition.

"Sorry, I never asked, how have you been, Minjae? Haven't talked to you in a while." I shuffled around in my seat. I could see her eyeing me, her eyes looking over my frame. She had this curious look in her eyes, and I had a feeling that she had figured something out. Hmm, how do I explain that so much has happened since we last talked.

"Uh," I hesitated. Where would I even begin, would I tell her about Haerin, my newest and current crush. Do I break down the story of how I broke into a house for the first time, and not just any house either, the one that belongs to my professor? I can even throw in Ryujin and our weird little thing, the kiss and our moment on the porch, and our conversation.

I never gave myself enough time to fully digest what had happened these past couple days, letting every other event just roll in one after the other. At some point, I won't be able to get away with just following the flow.

"Well," I cleared my throat, "A lot has happened, and it's kinda hard to explain everything."

"I've got time. I don't have class until later, what has Hwang Minjae been up to?" She asked, giving me a smile.

"Well, for starters, I think I’m into someone. Her name's Kang Haerin, and we met at school." I said.

"Oh?" She perked up, her tone teasing.

"She's... different. She's a little shy, and quiet. And, she's so nice. She's really pretty, too."

"So she's the reason why you've been spending less time here," She teased.

"I wouldn't put it like that, but yeah. Sorta."

"What else?" She grinned, leaning back into the couch.

"Well, we went on a date. Never mind, I can't really call it a date, it was just a dinner."

"And? How did it go?"

"It was fine, I guess."

"You guess?" She pressed, raising her eyebrow.

"Yeah, it was... alright. It was fine." I repeated. "Nothing really happened, it was just dinner. I didn't really get to know her like how I wanted, but it's fine, I understood that she was just a little shy. It was fine, we'll just try again."

"You seem like you're hung up on her."

"Am I?" I chuckled, shaking my head. "I mean, yeah, normally I would want to talk and talk, get to know them, have some banter and inside jokes to reference later on. Without that, I just don't know where to go from there."

"Did you want this to go somewhere? Like a relationship?"

"I do," I admitted. "It's not just that, she's so... interesting. When I'm with her, my head feels fuzzy, and I get butterflies in my stomach. It's a nice feeling."

"You sound like you're in love." She giggled.

"I've barely known her for a month. You can't be in love with someone when you haven't gotten to know them," I argued.

"I don't know. But, what else? Are you two still talking?"

"Hmm, I haven't texted her or seen her since we had dinner. She's not the type of person to text first. And I didn't know how to start a conversation with her either, so..." I thought back to dinner that night, and the walk the two of us had taken afterwards. I remembered the heart wrenching confession about her insecurities and introvertness. I could still see the sad eyes she had given me while she spilled her insecurities and fears out for me to hear.

In the moment, it had felt so surreal, so sudden but I didn't expect her to be the one to open up about her anxieties. She didn't owe me that, and yet she did, and I felt like I was intruding. It felt like she told me something that was supposed to stay hidden, but I don’t think I earned enough of her trust or her respect.

She even asked if we could hang out, just the two of us together but for some reason I don't feel like I deserve the chance she's given me with her. There are cells in my body that would practically be screaming with joy that Haerin wants to spend time with me, but at the same time, I can't bring myself to agree with it.

For some reason, every time I think of Haerin now, flares of self-loathing follow right after. If I had to describe the feeling, it felt like a constant argument inside of my head. Two different sides of me arguing whether to keep going forward with Haerin or not.

"Minjae?" I must've zoned off because I jumped at the sound of Seulgi's voice. She looked at me with concern in her eyes. "Don't worry about it too much, just give it some time. If it's meant to be, then it'll work out for you, I promise. I didn't think me and Minhyuk would've been friends, let alone end up as a couple. But, we're together because life happens!"

I don't think being compared to Minhyuk when it came to Seulgi was the right thing for me to hear, but the thought was there, and the advice wasn't entirely useless. I guess she had a point.

"Yeah, you're right." I said, trying to convince myself. "I just, it's different from my past relationships. When I first dated Nakyung, I had issues with making the first moves and we broke up mutually. With Cha-, sorry you don’t know her. With my last girlfriend, I had the same issues with her but she looked past it. When I had a small crush on you, I also couldn't make a move." Seulgi smirked to herself hearing the last part, "But with Haerin, I'm finally making the first moves only to be met with a brick wall."