Two

I had wondered and asked myself what happened to us and why things changed the way they had ever since the split, but truth be told, I had always known that there was a shift in our relationship during the two years we were together. It was small but was enough for you to feel and notice that something wasn't right.

Back when we started, Jaehyun and I always made time for each other. We'd often call when we could, and talk for hours on end about the most randomest things. Our silences were never awkward nor tense - just us enjoying each other's company without us having to say or do anything to fill the void or make the atmosphere light.

But then, Jaehyun started growing distant. Whenever I was with him, whether we were having a conversation or just in each other's company, I could feel his absence. Sure, he was present physically but mentally and emotionally, he was somewhere else entirely. It felt like he was slowly slipping from my fingers until he was too far from my reach.

I often asked him if he was okay.

"I'm fine," he would say. "I just have a lot on my mind."

And I'd asked him if he wanted to talk about it, he'd often dismiss it and tell me not to worry about it.

A huge part of me knew that I shouldn't have taken his word for it because deep down I could tell that something was wrong, and he wasn't telling me. But I chose to drop it and reassured myself that it was just a phase. The type where a relationship shifts from the honeymoon phase about three or so months in and we shift our attention elsewhere without even realising it because of this cruel and harsh reality called Life gets in the way.

"Just give him space, Elaine," I remember telling myself. "He'll come around eventually. All I gotta do is love and support him like I always do, and everything will be fine."

And that's what I did. Giving him unconditional love even though he didn't really give it his all - not like he used to anyway. But I didn't care and kept trying because that's what you do for the person you love. Eventually, they will appreciate it.

That was until that fateful day when reality slapped me in the face.

'I'm calling off the wedding.'  Jaehyun  announced.

'What?' I answered mystified, feeling a wave of emotions hit me in one go.

My mind couldn't fathom and function properly. I didn't know I was sad, angry, hurt or confused by the bombshell that was dropped on me.

'Why?' I asked him but he didn't give me an answer. ' Jae ?'

'...I think it's for the best.' He replied, avoiding my gaze.

'For the best? What are you talking about?' I demanded now getting angry than I was confused.

'It just is.'

'You're not making sense!'

Silence filled the room.

'What's wrong,  Jaehyun ?' I asked.

'There's nothing wrong -'

'Bullshit!' I exclaimed exasperated. 'You've been saying the same thing over and over again and I'm getting real tired of it!'

The lack of response was deafening.

'Are you cheating on me?' I asked.

'No! Of course not. That's not what's happening!' he exclaimed finally looking at me.

'Then tell me,  Jae ! Tell me what the hell made you tell me straight up that you're breaking off our engagement!' I screamed, my emotions now reaching their high.

His silence wrung as heavily in my ears as my screaming did like a high-pitched siren as he continued staring at me with a blank expression on his face, masking whatever emotion he was trying to hide from me.

'Please,' I said, pleading with him, tears threatening to leave my eyes. 'tell me what you want from me. Make me understand.'

'I can't.' he answered.

'Can't or won't.'

'Elaine-'

'Answer the damn question,  Jaehyun !' I hissed.

He flinched at the venom in my words like a puppy that just got beaten by its owner for disobeying him.

I watched him closely, waiting for an answer. For a moment it looked like he was going to say something, but I saw the hesitation in his eyes and closed his mouth, deciding it was best if he didn't tell me anything. I slumped my shoulders defeated. 'Fine.' I removed the diamond ring he had put on my finger a year ago and placed it on the table in front of him.

I was angry when I cleared every trace of my existence from our apartment.

I was hurt when he didn't even spare me a glance as I walked out of my apartment and drove away.

I was in tears the moment my parents opened their front door.

I broke down when I told my parents the news.

I was sad when I finally cried myself to sleep that night. And the night after that. And the night after that. And I never knew why.