I finally manage to suck in a breath that doesn't feel like breathing glass or my intestines twisting. I roll onto my back, staring up at the canopy of leaves, waiting for the nausea to pass.
Clack. Fsssh.
I turn my head just in time to see the familiar orange flame illuminating Min-ji’s smug face. She’s holding my Zippo. Of course she found it.
She takes a long, slow drag, tilting her head back as she exhales a thick plume of gray smoke into the crisp air. "Mmm~ tastes better when it's free."
"That was my lucky one, you fucker," I wheeze, finally pushing myself up onto my elbows. I point my finger at the paper and tobacco burning away at the tip of the stolen cigarette. "You don't just smoke another man's upside-down cig."
Min-ji looks at the cigarette between her fingers, then back at me, her eyes wide with feigned innocence. "Oh, was it?" A wicked smirk breaks across her face. "Guess your luck just ran out, Je-hwi."
Adding insult to injury, she casually flicks a bit of ash perfectly onto my jacket. I groan, letting my head fall back against the dirt, resigning myself to the fact that I’m never winning a war against this girl.
I finally manage to sit up, brushing the dirt off my jacket while glaring at the deranged girl beside me. I reach for the fallen cigarette I dropped, dusting the earth off the filter before putting it between my lips. I snatch my Zippo back from her lap, flick the flint, and finally get my hit.
Min-ji watches me, the cherry of her stolen cigarette burning bright as she takes another drag.
"You know, it still trips me out sometimes," she says, blowing a thin stream of smoke that gets immediately destroyed by the wind.
"What? The fact that you assault your friends for a free smoke?" I grunt, letting the nicotine finally flood my system.
"Nah. Seeing you like this," she hums, gesturing at me with her Monster can. "I only knew you before as that guy always running around doing shit for the Engineering Student Council. Total good boy aesthetic. Clean-cut, straight-laced. And now you’re the literal President of the council, lying in the dirt with me, acting like a degenerate."
She leans on her elbow, looking at me, genuine curiosity cutting through her usual bullshit. "Seriously though, why'd you start?"
I stare at the burning tip of my cigarette, watching the paper turn to ash. The question feels heavier than the smoke settling in my lungs. How do you even explain the weight of everyone looking at you, expecting you to carry the entire department's expectations, the weight of surviving day to day because of mental battles, the weight of trying not to crash out after seeing that your ex has a new guy, without sounding like a whiny bitch?
"Just... pressure, I guess," I say vaguely, letting the smoke slip past my lips into the afternoon air. "Stress. People expecting too much all the time."
I flick some ash onto the ground, watching it scatter. "Sometimes you just need a quiet place to burn something down. This is just the most convenient way to do it."
Min-ji doesn't mock me this time. She just takes another long pull from my lucky cigarette, letting the silence hang between us, comfortably heavy, before she pops the tab on her energy drink.
The silence stretches for a minute, comfortable and heavy, before Min-ji suddenly chuckles. It's a low, mischievous sound that immediately puts me on edge.
She sets her Monster can down in the dirt and shifts closer, the dead leaves crunching beneath her. "You know," she murmurs, her voice dropping an octave, "there are other ways to blow off some steam."
I raise an eyebrow, taking another drag. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Instead of answering right away, her fingers drift up to the collar of her shirt. Slowly, deliberately, she pops the top button open.
"I can be the heat that you seek out in smoking too, Je-hwi," she purrs, leaning in just enough that I can smell the mix of energy drink and raw tobacco on her breath.
My brain completely short-circuits. She pops the second button, exposing a glimpse of her collarbone and her bra. She tilts her head, her eyes scanning the thick canopy of trees surrounding our little nook.
"I mean, look around. We're practically in the middle of the forest right now. Technically still on campus, sure, but—" A wicked, shit-eating grin stretches across her face. "—no one would hear me scream out here."
A cold shiver violently shoots down my spine, erupting into a wave of goosebumps all over my arms and the back of my neck. It's a wild, confusing mix of being deeply unsettled and weirdly hyper-aware of how close she is. I know she's just fucking around—she loves to push my limits and watch me squirm—but her delivery is so deadpan it's actually terrifying.
"You are absolutely out of your goddamn mind," I breathe out, leaning back and putting a solid foot of dirt between us. "Button your damn shirt up, psycho."
Min-ji immediately breaks character, bursting into a fit of hysterical laughter. She falls onto her back, kicking her legs in the air while laughing around.
"Holy shit, your face!" she cackles, clutching her stomach. "You looked like you were about to see a ghost!"