Flinching

Even just seeing her name is enough to make your whole body ache; Hearing her voice leaves you sobbing. You should maybe just press delete – it would do wonders for your mental – yet your fingers would never allow it. Your mind believes you’ll never truly move on, and your heart still doesn’t know if it even wants to.

Work should never take priority over your girlfriend’s health, especially not when you’ve already ordered the engagement ring, but Yuna can be painfully stubborn when she feels like it. Sure, strictly speaking, she’s the one being rational here – it’s not like anything would change if you were at the appointment with her – but she’s neglecting the fact that you’re staring blankly at your laptop, mentally incapable of getting anything done until you hear back from her.

The words ‘don’t worry’ have little to no weight behind them. She can’t just tell you to not worry; that’s not how this works. Does she not realize that worrying is all you can do lately? Bad news after bad news, it’s almost too much. At this point, even just hearing her name sends your body into fight or flight mode.

Ideally, she comes back with some good news for once, ending your suffering. Not that your suffering has even a shred of validity compared to hers. Nothing you have ever gone through will compare to the constant needles, the daily cocktail of pills, the regularly scheduled scans, and all of the mental strain on top of the physical that Yuna has been fighting through.

Life just isn’t fair. That angel of a girl doesn’t deserve this, she deserves the world even if you can’t give it to her. Still, you’ll stay optimistic. Mostly for her sake, but also because you know that these days you’re on the brink of collapse. One more piece of negative news might just be your limit.

And then the door clicks.

You jump to your feet before your brain can even comprehend the fact you were holding a mug in your hand. Now you’re torn – do you rush to the door, or do you pick up the mug that now rests in two pieces at your feet. It’s sad, the way the handle and the cup are separated. They’re supposed to be one, but now they’re apart and they will never be one again.

“It’s just a mug, we have like ten more,” Yuna’s voice rings through your ears as she casually slips off her coat, watching you with a smile as you stare at the floor.

“Babe…” you mumble, feeling that unfortunately all-too-familiar wave of panic settle in your gut.

She kicks off her boots and takes a couple of long strides across the apartment until she’s right in front of you, smiling casually as if this last month hasn’t been absolute hell for her. “They’re cutting back the medication quite a bit.”

“That’s… that’s good… right?” you stammer, latching onto her shoulders.

Before answering, she leans in and kisses you on the lips. “It’s probably not worse,” she giggles, crouching down and stacking broken remnants of the mug in her palm. “Sit, feet up. I don’t want you walking around until I sweep any little shards.”

“Hold on, you sit. I’ll get–”

Yuna stands up straight and presses her finger to your lips. Her eyes are so gentle, but her gaze alone is enough to put an end to any further arguments. She’s exhausted, you can see the lack of energy in her pupils, and she absolutely does not have the strength to argue.

So, you sit, lips pursed into a pained smile that Yuna returns with a genuine one. She even gives your shin a little kick, reaffirming that she’s serious about putting your feet up; you quickly lift your legs up and lay flat on your back. Pleased, Yuna smiles brighter and turns around.

“I hope you were able to catch up on that stuff you mentioned?” Yuna adds before walking off to the kitchen.

“Yeah,” you mumble quietly under your breath, glancing over at your laptop where literally nothing has changed since this morning.

Your eyes quickly turn back to Yuna. No one else would ever notice it, but you’ve spent countless hours watching Yuna’s hips from behind while she walks – there is the tiniest limp to her step.

Out of nowhere, you feel a tiny drop slide off the side of your face. You immediately reach up and wipe it away, as well as wiping any other tears building up on your eyes. The last thing you want is for Yuna to see you like this, not when you’re supposed to be strong for her.

She returns with a small dustpan in her hand, doing all she can to hide that limp now that she sees you watching her. “I was wondering if you were in the mood for something tonight,” she squats down next to the couch and starts sweeping the area.

“Yeah, anything. What’s on your mind?” you crane your neck towards her.

“Well, you see,” she gives a final few strokes of the brush before sitting back on her knees. Her hand casually slides over to your thigh, inching towards your crotch. “How long has it been now? I haven’t taken care of this for far too long.”

Your initial thought is to scream. How can she say that? How can she even be thinking about taking care of you when she’s the one who has been spending weeks in the hospital? You can feel your blood boiling, even though you have no idea who you’re even mad at. Certainly not her, you could never be mad at her. In fact, the literal only thing stopping you from exploding is the way Yuna’s smiling up at you, and the way her hand is gently caressing between your legs.

“Babe, you have no idea how badly I want you,” you reply softly, very aware of your blood rushing between your legs with each rub. “But–”

“Stop,” Yuna hops to her feet. “There’s nothing else to add, just close your eyes. I’ll be right back.”

Your mouth opens and then immediately closes. After a tired exhale, you feel your lips curl into a smile. “I fucking love you, did you know that?”

“Yeah,” she leans in and kisses you before standing up straight and scurrying off with the dustpan. “You could say it more often though, I don’t mind,” she adds over her shoulder. “Now close your eyes, and hands up!”

You settle back into the couch, closing your eyes just like she requested and letting your arms drape over the armrest. A moment passes, it allows your body to relax. That paradoxical frustration dissipates, and you let your mind wander to a happier place.

At least Yuna is back, and thankfully she finally has good news to share. That’s all that matters: she’s healthy, she’s doing better. With that, you finally let your cortisol drop, and your fatigue starts to hit. The sleepless nights are catching up to you, and you find yourself slowly drifting away…

“Still alive?” Yuna’s quiet voice hits your ears from behind you, her presence being felt above your head. “Keep them closed for me, please.”

You nod once as you feel a soft fabric loop around your wrists, tying them loosely over the armrest – a position you’ve been in many times before. Then, you feel a gentle tug, followed by Yuna’s warm breath brushing against your cheek.

“Is it too tight?”

“No… it’s perfect,” you murmur in response.

“Good,” her hands casually slide down the sides of your neck until they slip down the top of your shirt.

Her palms glide down your chest, fingers spreading and catching against your nipples as her hands explore every ridge on your body. She presses into you, massaging with a light touch for just a moment before curling her fingers. Carefully, she slides her hand back, letting her nails scrape against your skin.

As her hands leave your shirt, you feel her silky hair fall onto your face. She catches your little jolt with her lips, pressing them firmly against yours, leaving you with the subtle taste of cherry before pulling back.

“I’ve missed your body,” she breathes against your ear, making you flinch again as the lack of vision enhances everything she does to you. “Definitely missed seeing how hard you get for me.”

“Always, babe,” you adjust your pants, knowing Yuna’s gaze is fixed on the tenting happening between your legs. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” she drops her voice another octave, whispering right into your ear before taking the lobe between her lips and playfully nibbling down on it.

She leaves you with another quick kiss on the cheek before you feel her warmth vanish. A beat passes, and then you feel Yuna’s delicate fingers slip into your waistband. She takes her time, lowering your pants inch by inch until your cock springs out.

You’re desperate to open your eyes, especially as you feel Yuna’s mouth press against your tip, sliding it in and out between her lips. With all the self-control you can muster, you keep them closed as per her request.

She lifts off your tip with a small pop, her deep breaths hitting the wet skin as her fingers wrap around your shaft and start pumping. Her thumb grazes your tip, sending shivers up your spine.

“I’ve missed your taste so much,” she moans quietly before pressing her lips to the underside of your cock.

She runs her lips up and down your length, circling your tip with her palm until her spit is evenly coated.

“That’s nice,” you gasp as her mouth returns to your cock, engulfing it in warmth once more. “Really fucking nice. God, I love you so much.”

A tiny, pleased whimper escapes her, but that’s all she gives. Now she’s focused, determined to get you to your limit as fast as possible. Her mouth works down your shaft with ease, all the way until you can feel the back of her throat.

Your thoughts turn hazy, just imagining Yuna’s lips wrapped around your cock. You haven’t felt this good in weeks, not since the last time Yuna worked your body. Frankly, you’ve almost forgotten how talented she is, how well-versed she is with what makes you tick.

It doesn’t last long at all, just a couple of minutes and you can already feel your cock twitching. You’re not sure if you’re supposed to hold back – you’re not sure if you can hold back.

Regardless, Yuna doesn’t seem to care what you do. She has one goal in mind, and her relentless bobbing up and down your cock is making it clear.

Her hand joins in now, twisting in tandem with her mouth. She gets into a steady rhythm, teasing deeper each time until eventually, her hand is simply holding your cock at the base while her mouth does all the work.