Love in the Night Train

You stir awake gracelessly; your eyes open to an innocent white ceiling that should blind you but doesn’t. You scarcely feel your body, let alone are able to move it beyond flimsy twitches in your fingers and toes. Your neck is sore in all the appropriate spots, as if moving your head too far in one direction will snap it right off. On top of everything, a weight on your chest hinders your ability to breathe in. No way you’re dead at least, but as the memories start coming back, you begin to gather that you may as well be. 

Your back stings and prickles with every move you make, and it doesn’t take two guesses why. You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, but that doesn’t mean you’re necessarily in a bind; you suppose that at this point you’ve gotten used to getting used to it. Instead of attending to everything you can as quick as possible, calm yourself back down, remind yourself that danger is far away from here, and that taking things slow sometimes is not a sin. 

The weight shifts from your chest and off to the side, giving you a slight reprieve from the pressure. It hits the mattress with a thud and a slight bounce, but ultimately you know everything is alright. Take in the air a bit more this time, and try to move again.

“Ugh, morning. You awake yet?” Yuri clears the messy hair away from her face and rubs her eyes. She sighs from the bottom of her lungs, making sure to get everything from last night out of her system. 

“Barely. I can’t fucking move, babe,” you reply with as much of a chuckle as you can manage, though it isn’t much. She giggles back and places her head on your chest again, this time in a more favorable spot. “You first?” you ask carefully, trying not to rush.

“Mmm, sure. Are you okay though?” She breathes in time with you, all the while tracing little circles on your chest. “I think you’re worse off than I am.”

The moment you try to reach for the salonpas, the stinging pain roars all over your back again. It sends you barreling back onto the mattress, but the split second is enough for Yuri to make out the damage. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” she pleads, “never mind. You first.”

Her movements are clunky and careless, dead giveaway to sore pairs of arms and legs. Despite this she soldiers on, and successfully reaches for the antiseptic on her side's end table. She prods at you gently to flip over, and it reveals two things: a back that looks like you kept a raccoon in your knapsack, and bedsheets right under where you were lying, formerly plain white.

She assesses the damage, and once the initial shock leaves her features it's replaced by guilt and what you could only call a mild horror. “It's that bad, huh?” you joke before planting your face onto the pillow.

“I'm sorry, babe, I got too caught up in it last night…” She spreads the antiseptic over her palm and counts, three, two, one, then the pain evolves from stinging to searing. You grimace into the pillow, sucking in what little air you could through your teeth, as Yuri mumbles tiny apologies while applying more of the medicine all over your back. 

“Okay, okay, done. I'm sorry,” she says with finality, and prods you to lie right side up again. You find on her lips a small pout, and it's the most adorable thing; you're reminded how lucky you are to land a girl that cares this much for you. 

“It's okay, as if I'd be mad about that,” and after sighing you finally make to get up. “Your turn.”

It's easier now, the pain once again evolving from searing to a polite coolness. The salonpas is miles closer within reach, and you tell Yuri, “Face down, love.”

She complies slowly, her joints and muscles still practically creaking with overuse. You peel a strip off the sheet and place it right where her shoulder meets her neck, then again for the other side. Pat them down to secure the adhesive, then move on to the next. 

Her lower back, under her shoulder blades, the backs of her thighs–each under her request based on where she aches most. As you place each strip, you rediscover every single mark you left on her, most notably the ones on her neck and chest, which are only starting to go from red to a deep purple. It brings back fond memories, and as you hover over the ones nearby, she smiles and runs her fingers over them too.

“Help me hide these?”

“I think they suit you rather well,” you tease, and after another bout of shy giggles from her she lifts herself off the bed slowly. She clambers to a sitting position in front of you and nearly crashes into your embrace, and the sensation brings you both to reminisce about last night: you kiss the same spots where her little circular bruises sit, and she runs her fingers over each tiny scratch mark she left on your back. Her eyes wander over her handiwork, a tiny sense of pride rising from her chest, when she finds one particularly nasty ring of sore red skin on your neck. 

“That one… looks bad,” she says, “I should maybe do something about that one.”  She clambers some more onto her feet and scurries off to the bathroom before coming back clutching the med kit. “Hold still,” she commands, and she pulls out a dropper of antiseptic for what you can only surmise is a bite mark, and for how Yuri even more carefully brings the spout near your neck, you gather it looks much worse than it feels. 

“I'm okay, babe, I'm–” before an inferno of stinging pain spreads outward from the spot the medicine dropped. Bolts of lightning travel all along your nerves, and it takes nearly a minute before it calms down like the rest of your wounds. Groans escape you the entire time, and Yuri's concern doesn't fade one bit. 

“Are you okay?” she asks, hopeful that she's doing more good to make up for the apparent harm. She dabs a square piece of gauze onto one of the deeper marks her teeth left and, once she's sure it's dry, covers everything with a fresh square to stick in place. She masterfully applies each strip of tape, securing it with just the right amount, before she's finally satisfied with her treatment. “All better, Oppa?”

“Yes, thank you, Yuri. How come I didn't notice that one?” A wave of relief washes over her, then moves on to you–her feeling better about things is highly contagious. 

Both of your attentions now land on the ruined bedsheet, and you start to notice the sheer amount of tiny bits of red scattered on your side. Yuri shoots you a look: “Help me change this?” and of course you oblige, partly because you feel guilty for having so much blood, but mostly because she's the kind of girl that puts magic into the mundane, as if she's the one that makes life worth living. 

You less-than-gracefully heave yourself off the bed before pulling away the covers themselves. A quick trip to the closet and Yuri hands you two corners of a fresh new fitted sheet, this time with a more joyful beige color and a fluffier texture like wool. You pull the garters over the soft edges of her mattress, and once all the pillows and covers are thrown back in place, you crash back onto the bed with her, sighing with exertion for the unbelievably menial task. 

“So,” you finally inquire after minutes of plain nothingness in her presence, “breakfast?”

“I don't wanna cook,” she whines, and yanks a pillow over her face. It's strange how cute she can be even without trying, more so when she does, and it's been lost to you a long time ago how to tell the difference. Wrap an arm around her waist, bring her close, find the warmth again that is Jo Yuri: stable yet novel and wild yet predictable. 

“Me neither. Let's just get delivery.”

“What do we order?”

“What do you want?”

She stares into your eyes, confessing a million things with each passing moment: I love you, I don't want to get up, stay with me forever, I want to eat in bed, I'm not that hungry, my back hurts, you're my everything. Her chest rises and falls as she breathes, her pupils running over each of your features like memorizing every single thing about you. 

She places a hand on your cheek, making sure you're real. The aches in her body are more proof than any pinch will ever be that she's awake, but that doesn't mean she's not in a dream. Yuri asks, “What are you thinking of?” in the quietest voice you've ever heard her make, and it melts the ice in your heart that you didn't even know was there. 

“You. Always you.”