Encapsulated Feelings

Alternative music for filos:

“Where the fuck am I?” 

You find yourself lost in the middle of what used to be a rural area in Pyeongtaek, but find it turned into an industrial area filled with high rise buildings. This was a completely different scene from what you remember from the memories that you still had. Although it’s probably not a surprise that so much has changed here over the course of 10 whole years.

You try to piece together the memories you still have of this place, trying to think of anything to describe to the locals to find that place. 

Roaming around the city aimlessly while trying to ask around the locals doesn’t bring you any luck either, as they don’t seem to know anything about your supposed childhood home, nor the huge tree in the middle of a field that you used to play with her at.

You wonder if she remembers the time capsule you buried together. Wait, does she even remember you?

You certainly hope she does.

“I’ll cherish this for the rest of my life!” Seeun exclaims as she looks at the gift that you gave her.

A Bracelet.

It’s not much, yes, but to her, it’s everything. And seeing your childhood friend so happy about your gift certainly puts a smile on your face as well. If only you could take a picture of this moment and hang it up on a frame, you would. But alas, you’re too shy for that. 

If only you could tell her how you really felt.

“I’m glad you liked my birthday gift, Sseni!” You reply, grabbing the bracelet in her hand and placing it on her arm. “It’s not much, but it definitely suits you quite well.” You’re sure you could see her face redden up, but you think it’s probably just the harsh sunlight outside.

“It’s more than enough! I actually really appreciate it.” She says, hiding her face in her hair as you realize that you’re still holding her hand. Oh shit. 

“Uhhhh I think we should go inside? It’s getting hotter out here.” You say, quickly letting go of her hand immediately going into panic mode. “Uhm yeah sure!” She says as you both go back inside her home to meet with your friends for her birthday party.

You reminisce about those past moments as you enter a cafe to clear your head. You order your usual, Spanish Latte, and head on over to find an unoccupied seat. Being in a pretty much foreign area without anyone you know in sight is proving to be a pretty hard task, if only…

“Hey! Over here!” You turn around and see a familiar friend. 

Yoon. 

“What are you doing here? When did you get back to Korea? You haven’t contacted any of us! Woah your hair’s gotten longer!” She says with a voice so loud it can be heard all throughout the cafe, earning her a few shushes from other customers.

“I’ll explain, okay? Can you just quiet down for a bit?” Yoon has always been the loudest of your friend group, it’s like she has a literal megaphone installed in her larynx. You sit down at the seat opposite her, and try to explain everything that’s transpired so far.

“I’m sorry, Sseni.”

The news of you leaving hits hard for the both of you as you both sit on the rooftop of her house. It was a decision made by your parents for you to continue college overseas as they think that you would have better opportunities over there.

But you don’t want to leave this place, your home.

You don’t want to leave her.

“Oh. You’re really leaving?” Seeun whispers, tears welling up in her eyes as she looks at you in the eyes, waiting for you to say “No”, but she inevitably doesn’t get the response that she wants to hear. 

“Yes.” That single word shattered both your and Seeun’s heart.

“When’s your flight?” she asks, defeated and just clinging onto the very little hope she has left.

“In two days.” 

“That’s not a lot of time.” The first tear inevitably drips down her face as she realizes how little time she has left that she can spend with you. “Why did you only tell me now? I thought we were best friends.”

“I… didn’t know either. My parents only told me yesterday, fearing I might rebel against them if they told me sooner. I spent the whole day yesterday trying to find a way on how I was going to tell you this, so that’s why I’m only telling you this now.” You say, guilt completely washing over you as you see her fully crying.

“When will I see you again? Will I… ever see you again?” She starts questioning you, hoping that this isn’t truly the end for the two of you, ending what could’ve been the two of you before it even started.

“I’ll come back for you, I can promise you that.” You say, trying to reassure her in any way you can, even if you were uncertain of the words that came out of your mouth.

“You promise?” She looks at you, seemingly determined to make this last day count.

“Yes, and look, we have the whole day tomorrow to do whatever we want. You’ll be in charge okay?” You say, holding her hand and intertwining it with yours.

“Okay… but please, could you stay here for now? I want to cherish every passing moment with you… please.” Her soft voice makes you barely able to hear her, but her grip on your hand speaks louder than anything else.

“Okay. I’ll stay.” You say as you envelop her in an embrace, wanting to escape from reality even for just a moment.

“Hey, wake up! Your little girlfriend is waiting for you downstairs.” Your sister wakes you up the following day, having been told to do so by your parents. “What? How long has she been there? And also, she’s not my girlfriend.” You say, panicking and trying to make yourself look presentable.

“Of course she isn’t, you get cold feet whenever the opportunity arises.” She laughs at you as she leaves your room, leaving you to your own crisis.

As you go downstairs, you see Seeun seated on the couch. “You’re awfully early today, huh? I haven’t even woken up and you’re already here.” You say to her as you sit across from her.

She blushes at your remarks, hiding her face behind her hair. “I… didn’t want to waste what little time we had left. I wanted to make today count.” Her cuteness makes your cheeks redden up as well.

“What’s the itinerary for today, hmm? So I could dress properly.” You ask her, wanting to reciprocate her efforts in any way you can.

“Just dress casually, no need to be so formal for today, and for our itinerary, it’ll be a surprise.” She says, smiling at you with that gummy smile of hers, if only you can stay like this forever. “Oh! And bring things that remind you of us or me, I promise we’ll need them.”

“Aye aye, captain. Wait for me here, okay? I won’t be long.” You say as you go up the stairs to get ready, leaving her in the living room to get ready.

Then it hits you.

This is a date, right?

Like an actual date?

With the person you’ve been in love with for years?

Well, shit.

You’ve been staring at two different sets of clothes for the past 15 minutes, with no decision in sight. Knowing that she’s down there waiting for you makes you just want to wing it and get down there as fast as you can, but you want to put in effort for your outfit for today.

Ah fuck it.