What are we?

I woke up greeted by the sun's rays and an empty bed that smelled faintly like a cat — a very fragrant and sensual cat. Great — I thought — Yeji has left, just like Seulgi did that night. 

I looked at my phone and opened a few messages from Jimin — a text saying they arrived home and that she, Ryujin, and Chaeryoung were having a good time talking — and the last messages, a photo of her with a frowning Ryujin and a smiling Chaeryoung on either side of her arms as they lie on her bed with a text saying: "Goodnight, Seren. See you tomorrow. (Three heart emojis)"

My heart fluttered and I had to smile in spite of myself, and despite what happened between Yeji and I. I sent her a late response: "Hey! Good morning! I'm sorry I wasn't able to message last night. I was knocked out a few moments after getting home. Yeah. I'll see you later." I felt guilty lying to her, but she didn't need to know that — and we're not dating, not yet, at least. Was I hoping? I don't know anymore. I stood, put on some boxers and placed my phone in its pocket.

I went out to the kitchen and was genuinely surprised to find Yeji munching on a bowl of cereals at the kitchen counter. She was already dressed in the same clothes she wore last night — she looked comfortable and cozy, like a girlfriend who'd stayed the night. It would have been perfect if she wore one of my shirts but — she still looks hot regardless. I then managed a faint smile – so she didn't ditch me after all.

"Mornin'," Yeji greeted. "I hope you don't mind me raiding your fridge."

"Feel free," I said as I grabbed a bowl for myself and sat across from her.

"How's your arm?" Yeji asked.

"My arm?"

"Yeah. It was broken last night, right?"

And I remembered, it was indeed broken last night after I blocked that Rider's strike. I flexed my left arm — "No pain at all, and it seems pretty healed," I said in surprise while massaging it gently with my other hand.

"Huh, even pain?" Yeji asked curiously.

"Yeah. I can still feel a little numbness last night while we... you know... but right now," I swung my arm tentatively, "yeah, it feels fine."

Yeji kept eyeing me, her brows furrowed, "Was the sex that good?"

I hit her playfully in the head as she giggled.

"But seriously, Seren. You're fully healed already?" Yeji queried again before taking another spoonful in her mouth.

"I know. It feels, strange," I said still giving my arm tentative swishes.

Yeji then began listing my "abnormalities": "Resistance to vampiric charm, amplifying a werebeast's sexual drive, and now accelerated healing," and superhuman strength, I thought — but I decided to keep that between me, Jimin, and Seulgi for now. "What the hell are you, Seren?"

"I've been asking myself the same question, Yeji," I replied as I resumed munching on my now soggy cereals.

My phone beeped and I fished it out of my pocket. I grinned as I saw that it was a message from Jimin and read it immediately: "Good morning, Seren! It's fine, I understand if you dozed off immediately last night. Ryujin and Chaeryoung just left and I need to clean up a bit. Can you come here at around lunchtime?"

A second message appeared just as I finished reading the previous one. "Can you also, stay the night with me?"

My eyes read that message for about five times before my mind actually registered it. Jimin wants me to stay the night? At her place? Blood rushed to my cheeks as my mind raced at the possibilities the day — and the night – might offer. I sent a response: "Yeah. Sure. I'll be there." I hoped it sounded nonchalant, but knowing me, it may have sounded stupid.

"Jimin?" Yeji asked, probably noting my sudden giddiness.

"Yeah. Said Ryujin and Chaeryoung already left her apartment."

Yeji nodded, then after about three more spoonfuls of soggy cereal — "What are you, Seren?" she followed, leaning forward slightly in curiosity, allowing me a tease of her cleavage underneath her shirt.

I sighed, putting my phone down beside my bowl of cereal, "I really don't know, Yeji. One minute I was a normal person then another I am resistant to vampiric charm and —"

"Not you, you moron," Yeji pointed her spoon at me. "You and Jimin. Are you dating? Because if you were, then last night was..."

Shit — that was embarrassing and oddly familiar, Seulgi did ask me the same question. But why was Yeji asking me this now? "Isn't it a little bit late to consider that, don't you think?" I interrupted.

"Hey! I was... I needed the release — and so did you," she responded.

Well, I did not refuse last night so in a way, I did want it to happen — and who wouldn't? Yeji is a beautiful woman, who could resist if someone as hot as her invited you to have sex — but was it all just really release like Yeji says?

"No, we're not dating, Yeji," I finally replied.

Yeji nodded, "Good, because I don't want that under my conscience," she set her spoon down on her empty bowl; "But you obviously like her," Yeji commented.

I was silent for a moment and pondered a question: what is Jimin to me? Is she just a crush, or was there something deeper behind all the jokes and the flirting? Well, if timing allows, I might be able to broach the topic later.

Yeji then stood up, "I got to go, Seren. I need to meet with my team." She walked around the counter and to my surprise she placed a hand on my shoulder and the other on my cheek, she pulled me in for a kiss that tasted like sweet cereal. I instinctively held her waist, squeezing gently to feel the soft flesh covered by her shirt as our lips danced and our tongues tasted each other.

"Hmmm," Yeji moaned softly, her body gravitating towards me. She pressed herself against me — inviting and tempting while her kiss deepens. "You're really good at that," she said, out of breath as she pulled away, her eyes remained focused on my lips while her index finger softly strokes my lower lip.

"At kissing?" I asked.

"At intimacy," Yeji replied.

"I'll walk you to the door," I whispered.

Yeji giggled, "Don't be such a gentleman, Seren." She pressed another quick kiss on my lips. "Or else Jimin will have a rival in me," she now truly pulled away and slowly walked to leave my apartment, leaving me confused and wondering about what she meant. When the door clicked shut, I stared at the empty bowls in front of me, wondering which of us had left the bigger mess.

I cleaned up my room in order to clear up my thoughts. They said doing mundane things does that, keeping yourself busy with household chores is a great way to pass the time and keep your thoughts from wandering — that's a lie. My thoughts kept wandering — towards Jimin and the night we are about to have, towards Yeji and the night we had, but every thought always leads to one question towards who and what I really am. Even the hum of the vacuum cleaner was unable to drown out my thoughts — and when I was done, my room was clean, but my mind remains a mess.

After cleaning, I packed my things. A change of clothes to sleep with at Jimin's as well as what I would wear for school tomorrow, I won't be coming home tonight after all. I then took a warm shower and got dressed. I texted Jimin that I'll be on the way in a while and she replied after a few seconds "Still cleaning up the mess Ryujin, Chaeryoung, and I made."

"Okay. I'll text when I'm outside."

"Stay safe, Seren."

"I will. See you."

I hope you can also clean up the mess in me — I wanted to say, but I don't want to burden her with my own baggage. She just had a life threatening encounter last night, it would be too selfish of me to talk about my worries — not unless she opens them up.

I pocketed my phone, slung my bag on my back and made my way outside. The world outside felt the same yet different from the world I saw last night. Both are noisy with activity, but the noise at the battle at the Archives was something I don't want to hear ever again. Yet my world is expanding at a rate I can't follow, dragging people that I care about needlessly. I need the strength to protect them, I thought.

I left the gate and pondered — why not? And I tried to pull it down with all my strength, aiming to replicate the strength that manifested last night when I punched the Rider of the Hunt — and the gate didn't budge, no supernatural strength, just one stupid looking college guy who pulled a gate a little too hard.

Was that a one time thing then? Or does it only activate during times of distress? Is there some way to control it? All these questions always lead to one central question — What the fuck am I?

I sighed and finally walked towards Jimin's apartment — the only one I can truly share everything that's on my mind, but not everything that's on my heart. The walk was supposedly quick, but it felt too long. My legs felt heavy, like it's struggling to drag the weight of my body that's overburdened with a psychedelic mix of nervousness, anxiety, and excitement.

Questions, possibilities, worst case scenarios, and what ifs flood my mind. This was not how I thought I'd feel when I received Jimin's text. I thought I'd be giddy, running towards her apartment at full speed, instead, I'm trudging forward like someone who's walking with their feet stuck in knee deep mud.

Without noticing it, I arrived at her apartment building. Minutes passed as I stood at the gate, my phone in my hand but unable to text Jimin that I've arrived. People gave me curious looks as they come and go — who wouldn't when I'm standing there like a lovesick statue.