Clueless for Two

The summer before high school, you planned out everything: how you’d come out of your shell, how you’d make a name for yourself, how you’d become popular and well-liked and join the soccer team and maybe try to make it to the varsity team. By the time you accepted your high school diploma, exactly none of those goals came to pass: you made a couple of friends, none of whom were going to the same college as you; you only joined one club for one year for all of high school, and that was the math club in your senior year; you didn’t even try to run for any student council positions, although you did know a friend of the student treasurer in your senior year; you ended up chickening out before the soccer tryouts even started and ended up doing cross-country, which, to be fair, you quite enjoyed.

In other words, you were pretty much a nobody. You left high school having demonstrated exactly zero exceptional qualities about you, memorable traits or defining moments, that would make someone in your graduating class remember you. But honestly, you don’t really care; not because you don’t like your graduating class, or because you didn’t like high school, but because, by senior year, you realized how shallow those goals were.

So, you enter college with no such goals. All that’s on your mind is to study well, find a few friends that you can relax and hang out with, that you would feel comfortable drinking for the first time on your 21st birthday with, and have a good time. Nothing grand, no lofty ambitions. Just, have fun, learn a thing or two, and graduate.

It’s funny how the universe seems to always work against you.

“Oh! You’re…”

You thought no one from your high school chose to go to your choice of college. Then again, you didn’t really ask around for such information.

“…Alien-guy. The one who said, that one time, that to believe that aliens don’t exist is preposterous!”

So, maybe, apparently, there was something memorable you did. And to be remembered by Kang Seulgi, the person who achieved every single one of your self-set goals in high school by her junior year, is perhaps its own achievement.

Then again, maybe not; Seulgi was known to be the nicest girl in school. Nominated for Prom Queen and almost winning despite doing zero work for it, so you heard; making it to the varsity team for volleyball by sophomore year; known by and friends with students from all years, she did it all. Even you had your own positive experiences with her, being grouped together with her for an AP European History project on Rousseau and his impact on the Age of Enlightenment, and being smiled to and waved at a few times in the hallways on occasion afterwards. But that was it. Kang Seulgi was … well, Kang Seulgi. And you knew it. You had no delusions of her friendliness, of why she smiled and waved at you so much, why she sat next to you for the first few days of the math class you both took as seniors. She’s just Kang Seulgi, the nicest girl at school. There’s nothing to read into.

“Huh. Is that my legacy from high school?”

Seulgi laughs. “I’m so sorry! I’m terrible with names. I’m Kang Seulgi, by the way!”

As if you could forget. But you don’t say that. Instead, you remind her your name, and Seulgi apologizes for forgetting it in the same way she might apologize for accidentally kicking your dog, so you shrug it off by saying, “I didn’t know you chose this college.”

“And I didn’t know you chose this one! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Although the smile never leaves Seulgi’s eyes, the slight bit of disappointment in the shift of the smile on her lips and her cheeks makes you wonder if she actually thinks it was reasonable for you to just walk up to her back in high school and ask her what college she chose, and then promptly inform her that you chose the same one. “Never really had the chance to.”

“I’m so glad that I know someone here. It’s so exciting to be someplace new, but also sorta scary, isn’t it?”

That, you have to agree on. Ordinarily, talking to someone so insanely attractive like Kang Seulgi would’ve been intimidating, but her friendly demeanor disarms any apprehension that might’ve otherwise frozen your vocal cords. “None of your friends came with you?”

“I knoow right?” You withhold a chuckle at Seulgi’s whine. “They’re so mean! I begged them so much too, but the ones who also got accepted here all said that it was too far away.”

“Yeah, but it’s sorta nice being far from home.”

“Yeah, yeah!” The way Seulgi’s eyes light up as she agrees with you … for a second or five, you forget how to breathe. “I think so too! And the campus is soo pretty!”

Fortunately, Seulgi doesn’t seem to notice your pause. “Yeah, it really is.” These kinds of girls, with their otherworldly beauty, who act like they don’t know how much a simple smile, especially such a radiant one, affects others. Well, actually, Seulgi is the only one you know that you would classify as an ‘otherworldly beauty’. Maybe it’s just a Seulgi thing. Still, she ought to wield that weapon more responsibly and intent.

“What do—”

“Alright, everyone!” The booming voice of the professor entering the massive lecture hall silences Seulgi, who turns her attention to the front of the room. You do the same. “Welcome to college! Unless, do we have any poor souls who have an earlier class?” A few hands shoot up, and a collective, sympathetic laugh-groan fills the lecture hall. “I’m so sorry to you all.”

“It’s ok, I’m a morning person!” shouts one amongst the raised hands.

“Oh.” The clear disdain in the professor’s voice and face brings about more laughter in the class. “Well then. I’m … even more sorry to hear that.” The professor’s response is met with more laughter. “Anyway, welcome to Biology 101!”

It doesn’t change anything, though. So what, Kang Seulgi, the most popular girl in high school and generally likeable human being, sat next to you in one of your classes? It doesn’t mean anything. Just like in your math class last year, she’ll probably sit next to you for the first few days, and by the second week, will migrate to sitting next to the friends she’ll have made. And the world will return to normalcy.

Except, it doesn’t. Because, later that day, you see Seulgi again. In one of your classes, again. This time, it’s you who notices her first, entering the classroom from the back and seeing the unmistakable side profile of Kang Seulgi, shuffling around in her orange backpack in search of something. Should you greet her? It’s almost inevitable that she’ll realize you’re in this class with her, right? It’s a relatively small class too, very unlike the massive lecture hall your previous class together was located in. Would she find it off-putting? Well, even if she did find it that way, she wouldn’t let it show on her face. Is there really a reason to say ‘hi’? To be polite, you presume, but…

You feel your body stiffen up as you see her turn around.

Shit. Did she notice me staring? She’ll definitely think I’m a creep.

“Oh!” You can’t say you’re surprised, really, by her friendly reaction. What you are surprised about is just how incredibly jubilant she is to see you again. “You’re in my Calc 3 class too?!”

No known force in the universe can stop the smile that blossoms on your face. “Yeah, looks like it.”

“No waay! Oh my gosh, I heard horror stories of Calc 3 from my college friends, but now I get take it with one of the smartest guys in our math class last year, I feel so much better!”

As you make your way to Seulgi’s seat, the guy sitting in front of her turns around. “Oh, really? So, you’re sorta the shit, huh?”

Maybe it’s you that’s looking at the glass half-empty, but you swear you can hear a hint of snark in his voice. Like he’s puffing out his chest, trying to size you up. Not that you really care about meeting his challenge, of course. He’s free to have Seulgi all to himself. “I don’t think so…”

“Oh please, he’s being humble. He got a 5 on the AP Calc BC test.”

“…how do you know that?”

“One of my friends heard from our teacher.”

So maybe that’s another, albeit slightly niche, ‘legacy’ of yours from high school. Or, maybe this is just Seulgi being the social butterfly she is.

“No shit! So did I!”

“Oh, really?”

Seulgi doesn’t seem to detect the chest-puffing that the guy, who you learn is named Justin, is doing. As you plop down next to her, the two of them blast off in conversation about the AP test, studying for it, and what they’ve heard about Calc3 online, with Justin eventually coming around and sitting on the other side of Seulgi. She pulls you into the conversation here and there, but you try to, as subtly as you can, stay out of it. It’s as clear that Justin has an interest in Seulgi as it is that he views you as a threat, so you try to make yourself as small as possible. You’re no threat, you want to tell him, you’re just someone who happened to have gone to high school with her.

It’s no surprise that, by the second week of your Bio101 class, Kang Seulgi is sitting next to a girl who she’s happily chatting up. What is a surprise is that, just as you’re about to slot yourself into a few rows behind her, she turns around, and, upon meeting your eyes, lights up.

“Oh! Over here!” The girl that’s sitting next to Seulgi, you learn, is named Irene, and it’s when you’re able to see her face-to-face that you realize you may have to update your list of ‘otherworldly beauties’. Irene is considerably more reserved than Seulgi, but is by no means a slouch when it comes to beauty, herself.

“Did you do the reading?”

“Hm? There was reading?”

“Well, the professor said it was optional, but I get the idea that it’s like, ‘optional’. You know? Like, how the reading in AP Euro was always ‘optional’, but how you could never understand what was happening in class unless you followed along?”

You laugh at that. “Right. Well, I hope the professor doesn’t expect us to be that studious, being only the first week and all.”

With Seulgi, you find it easy to speak freely. With Irene, it feels nearly impossible, not because she feels impossible to approach, with how soft-spoken and gentle she seems to be, but because she feels intimidating in another way. Like, it’s forbidden for you to speak to her, like she’s a high priestess or maybe even divinity itself, and you are not worthy to be in her presence. Maybe this would be how Seulgi would feel to talk to if that friendliness she positively exudes vanishes.

It also doesn’t take more than a week to confirm Justin’s intentions with Seulgi, and you can’t help but feel that Seulgi’s friendliness is feeding into it, too. Is it intentional? The way she speaks to Justin isn’t dissimilar at all to how she speaks with you. Or at least, from what you can tell. And upon the most barebones investigation, the possibility that Seulgi is intentionally leading Justin on is tossed out the window; she’s definitely too nice for that. At the tail end of the second week, when Justin recommends studying together for the upcoming exam in a month, Seulgi is the one who tells you that you’re coming along. Justin doesn’t let his dissatisfaction show on his face, but he doesn’t have to; you know he would rather you not be there.

To you, it’s crystal clear what Justin is trying to do. Seulgi, be it blissful or willing ignorance, doesn’t address it even slightly.

You consider calling in sick that day to give Justin some alone time with Seulgi. It’s more annoying than anything, how Justin seems so guarded around you. But, at the same time, you can’t really just tell him, especially since you two never talk just amongst yourselves. Also, who studies for an exam an entire month in advance?