Heartache

Sana buried her face in her hands, trying her best not to break down right then and there. But she was fed up. She was done with the fighting and she was done with trying to fix it.

Tzuyu stood there, not moving and not saying anything. Which was good. She finally calmed down.

She loved Tzuyu. More than she knew, more than what her heart could comprehend. And she knew that Tzuyu had a problem, she knew that she was going through so many things. Her mental health, how her thoughts were her biggest enemy.

Deep down inside, Sana knew that Tzuyu didn't mean it whenever she offered to break up because she ‘could do better’. But how long was she going to help Tzuyu see the real picture? That Sana loved her no matter what.

Sana loved her for who she was. Her humility, her kindness, her gentle actions whenever they were together, how she showed her love. Tzuyu was full of love. But she was also full of doubt and that clouded her from seeing that Sana's love needed no conditions. It was always there.

But why was Sana so tired?

She wanted to keep fighting. But she was tired too.

Sana finally took her hands down, feeling her tears fall from her face, and she took a deep breath. She stood up from her spot and walked past Tzuyu, heading towards their bedroom.

She should pack a bag. Momo would let her crash for the night.

“Where are you going?” Tzuyu suddenly asked, her voice was close by.

Sana didn't want to answer, because she was so angry and heartbroken, she wanted to leave Tzuyu hanging in the bland air. She just shook her head, grabbing her overnight bag and throwing it on the floor, then she opened her closet.

“Sana, please,” Tzuyu pleaded, her footsteps were close by.

Sana shook her head again. “I'm tired, Tzuyu.”

“I'm sorry, I did this again.”

That made her pause her actions. The way Tzuyu said it made her heart ache even more. If Sana really thought about it, she didn't want to do anything. She didn't want to leave, the thought of Tzuyu alone in their bed made her feel incredibly worse.

“Sana, I know I'm like this and I'm sorry,” Tzuyu said, voice hoarse, already crying. “I'll do anything… Just please don't leave me.”

She clenched her fists, gripping onto her clothes as she tried to fight her heart with her brain. She needed to leave and give herself a break. But she also wanted to stay with Tzuyu.

Did she want to break up with Tzuyu?

Deep down, she didn't want to.

She was just tired. She needed a break from everything.

“I just need time, Tzu,” Sana said softly through her own tears. Then she found the strength to move her hands again, shoving the clothes into her bag.

The sound of a thud made her whip her head, her eyes went wide when she saw Tzuyu kneeling in front of her, sobbing.

“P-Please, Sana…” She heaved, holding in her wails but failed. She shook her head, leaning onto the back of her hands. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

Sana quickly scrambled to Tzuyu, grabbing her arm, trying to pull her up. “T-Tzuyu, please. Get up, please.”

Tzuyu shook her head, crying even more. “I know… I know you need time. But please… I'll do anything you need. Just—” she took a breath, whimpering already. “Just don't leave me.”

The tears made her vision blurred, flowing freely down her cheeks, but she still used her strength to pull Tzuyu. “Tzu, please, just sit up.”

“I'll let you go,” Tzuyu suddenly said, her breathing was starting to calm down, but she was still crying. “You can go and take your time... But please come back to me. I can't live without you. I'm sorry I keep pushing you away. I'm just scared. I'm scared of myself, I'm scared I'll make you unlove me. But I don't want you to go. I love you, Sana. I love you.”

Sana finally lost herself. She couldn't hold in her tears as she tugged onto Tzuyu with a little more effort. And when Tzuyu finally looked up, eyes full of tears, Sana lunged in, hugging her so tightly that she was afraid that Tzuyu was going to disappear if she didn't.