Ribbons

"Are you sure you’ll help me put up this damned tree?“

Chaewon doesn’t bother to give you even a single glance as you scramble to build a makeshift Christmas tree—the same tree she herself bought, tall enough to poke through the living room’s ceiling. The same tree she herself took an entire day of your time out to decide.

The same tree that costs tens of thousands of Won. And you’re left to set it up—alone.

"I will! I’m just—busy,” she tells you, already hooking her purse around her shoulder, preparing to leave. “You know how tiring these year-end festivals get.”

“I know, but there’s hardly a need to buy this kind of tree when all I wanted was a simple celebration,” you say. Looking over your shoulder, watching her fulfill her obligations to her team than you—the balls you’ve been holding almost slip, much like your grip on her.

“Please. I’m asking for a lot, but don’t get mad, okay? It’ll be even more tiring once I’m home, and I’d rather you forgive me now instead of listening to the radio blaring throughout our entire apartment,” she sighs, as if there was genuine risk of it occurring. “I want us to have some semblance of peace this holiday.”

You don’t have much to say in return. In fact, all you can do is wonder whether her team, the agency—perhaps both—wouldn’t allow her to cancel the few commitments she still has. Whether her being Chaewon—Kim Chaewon of Le sserafim—is the real reason she needs to upkeep her image, because it certainly hasn’t helped her case here.

“Take care, and do tell me when you’ve finished with the tree,” she adds, before closing the door on you and making her way out.

Anything to avoid that conversation. Anything to avoid the elephant in the room.

And so you never got the answer you so desperately wanted. Her absence was inevitable, but a hard pill to swallow. After all, if she said her schedule is busy, then who are you to doubt. All you can do is nod, tell her you love her, hoping for the best from the world that’s so cruel and quick to turn its back on her with just a single mistake.

It had been years since the last Christmas you spent together. She was 21 then, her career path in the dark, forced to remain silent while plans were put into motion. The holidays were one of the rare times that you’d see each other. Video calls and subtle gestures through performances were difficult, though only half as bad as it could be with how active the entertainment industry can be at this time of year. At least she has four sisters she can confide in; you’d been living on your own the moment you got your diploma.

With each passing year, her presence has shrunk more and more, counting the hours you see her during the holidays with your hands. You’ve accepted the fact that you’d have to celebrate the holidays alone. It’d be a Christmas miracle if Chaewon barely makes it before the clock hits twelve, or during the wee hours of the next morning, as is becoming the norm.

Tonight is no different to the three eves that came before. You have a bottle of champagne, and she has dress rehearsals. As per usual, your glass would be empty within minutes, while hers will remain completely untouched.

You just pray she sees it when she walks through that door.

Your body feels heavy under the sheets as you try to shake her off your mind. The thought of her alone is a combination of sadistic and masochistic, since no matter which way you slice the situation, it tends to result in an uncomfortable heat and a sigh. You cannot blame the alcohol, even when it does help—it isn’t strong enough. You can’t even blame yourself, as the more you think about it, the more you’d rather wish the company would decline SBS’ offer.

A thought that you need to expunge from your system entirely. You can’t possibly hate what she’s good at doing—you’ve heard the stories first-hand from her, watched clips that are far less than professional in nature, yet the sentiment remains the same: that you’re nothing short of ecstatic that your girlfriend’s doing well, even if you’re never 100% certain that you’re part of that same sentiment.

Never. You sigh again upon the realization that it’s entirely on you for being a petty, insecure bitch, not being able to appreciate a part of her life that makes her truly happy. If only your dopamine response was wired more aggressively for things other than seeing Chaewon, then maybe your brain wouldn’t spin this thing into the most inconvenient web of emotional torture.

Things were starting to get better, too: she’d devoted more of her time off with you since last year. Through all the verbal abuse hurled toward her and everything they did, she rediscovered you as a key part in her emotional recovery. Twelve months, two comebacks, and a world tour later, Chaewon’s slipping through your fingers for the holidays once again, falling even further away from your grasp than before. She’s happier than ever, but the reality is crushing you beneath its weight, drowning you, causing you to yearn for her even more.

You just pray she knows when things start to become unmanageable for the third time.

As the clock winds down on an otherwise slow Christmas Eve night, you’ve accepted that she won’t be home by midnight. It was too wishful to have waited, too hopeless to think otherwise, though the melancholic glaze over your eyes, along with the sudden exhaustion, make that fact all the more pronounced.

Chaewon hadn’t spoken a single thing about the tree. She hasn’t seen the final output either, even when you’ve sent her pictures as requested. Not even an emote to let you know she read even once. This was all yours, and you’ve got no one to celebrate with.

Merry fucking Christmas indeed.

Perhaps it was better for you to spend your holiday alone; all that’s left are reminders of Chaewon. At the very least, you have memories of a time before when you were hers. When things were different and infinitely more peaceful than now, and the biggest of issues for her involved wanting the red pair of shoes that were just a bit too expensive. You were determined to save up to buy them, if only because of the smile that would illuminate her face as she reached her arm up high to wrap it around you, in return of you trying the new outfit she purchased specifically for you.

The sweet scent of her perfume will bring you back to a time when these small celebrations could be the highlight of your entire year. It did enough; her mere presence beside you would be more than enough. You’d settle for the small, genuine, moments, no matter how short they may be. However, fate, like always, has other plans in store.

***

It’s close to midnight when you’re woken up from your early slumber. Not by fireworks, not by party music from neighbors next door, not even from animal cries—but from the repeated thumping and bumping of something close by.

Cursing underneath your breath, if that damned Christmas tree was somehow in tatters by the time morning hits, you’d have no qualms taking it out of Chaewon’s pay. If only that kind of shit was reasonable.

Instead, you sigh and drag your body out of the bed, sliding through the covers in the least graceful fashion imaginable: your head thumping, dragging your legs with each step that you take closer to the commotion. You’ve got a baseball bat in hand, because even with a handgun tucked deep in your closet, you’re not gonna pop some firecrackers on a time like this.

Checking from the tiny peephole on your door, the living room is completely dark. It wasn’t like this when you left it; the tree had been lit up, its star at the top shimmering every few seconds in a calming, rainbow hue.

Maybe you did—you’re too inebriated to remember the details. Or perhaps, a sign that it had gotten broken. And maybe Chaewon had somehow caused it when she waddled her drunk ass onto the couch.

Oh, she will pay for your damages for sure.

No, it wasn’t that bad, or at least that’s the story you were spinning in your mind to get to the other side of the door. No, it wasn’t broken. Rather, its position had merely moved; when you’d initially positioned the tree in the center, the trunk was slightly to the left, the lights tangled behind it.

So you slowly reach for the lights, and with the flip of a switch, the room brightens in an instant.

Upon seeing what’s at the center of it all—you immediately drop your bat.

The girl in front of you widens her eyes and covers her mouth in an instant.

“Chaewon?!”

You narrow your eyes, trying to comprehend whether or not this is all part of some alcohol-induced dream. Even in your daze, she’s loud as ever, somehow.

“Hey! I thought you were sleeping, and I just—”

Her words die out halfway, cheeks flushed bright red with shame. You haven’t even addressed the clear elephant in the room, and it’s not about her rare presence: it’s the fact she’s essentially naked from head to toe, covered only by a makeshift Chaewon-shaped box and wrapped in red ribbons all over.

“Jesus Christ, Chaewon,” you say, your gaze wandering all over her pale, slim body, hiding all that skin beneath used cardboard. “What the fuck?”

“So—um—I can explain—you see—”

God, you just fucking love it when Chaewon stutters over herself. Most times, it’s Kim Chaewon: the leader, the professional, the idol. But seeing her like this—beyond the body—it’s seeing the cute girl you fell for at first sight.

“Yeah, I don’t need anything explained.” Slowly, you approach her as she scrambles to tie what appears to be the finishing touches of ribbon around her box. “Do you need help with—whatever this is?”

“I was just gonna ask you to get all this off me, actually.”

“So—this is—”

“I’m the present, yeah,” she states it directly, looking at you with a warm smile. “I just wanna say— I’m sorry.”

You raise a puzzled eyebrow. “For what?”

“For neglecting you,” she says, no beating around the bush. “I haven’t been around, and I know you’ve noticed.”

Not a hard conclusion to reach when the facts stare you directly in the face every single day. “I have. I see it in this room almost every single day.”

“Just know it’s not my intention, okay? This whole idol schtick isn’t as simple as I’ve made it seem,” Chaewon replies, quietly twiddling her fingers together in a subtle attempt to satiate your heart. “I know it doesn’t excuse the way that I’ve left you alone for most of the year, and you deserve more than I can offer you right now.”

“Chaewon—”

“And I know you don’t wanna hear it, but I still have that Gayo tomorrow. I called off from practice earlier so I can hurry home and prepare this for you. I have to be there early at dawn.”

“Right.”

“So I want to swear to you this one thing,” she takes your hands into hers. “After Christmas, I’ll stay with you as much as I can till the new year comes.”

“Till the New Year,” you repeat, just to make sure.

Chaewon lets out a wry smile, cupping your chin with a soft hand, looking directly at you. “Yes. We both know that work’s gonna tear me away. Maybe even more, but if you’ll have me for even a little while, then—that’s a start for me.”

“Kim Chaewon,” You bury your head onto the folds of her ‘clothes.’ “Stop with the heavy, depressing bullshit and take your fucking clothes off.”

“Can’t,” she states, looking at you with a coy gaze that’s telling you everything. “You do it.”

As if on instinct, you run your palm across the length of her body, taking in the gentle sensation of her warmth. The soft sighs of contentment that erupt from her mouth, the look of absolute pleasure washing over her as she grips tightly at the hem of the box. You move swiftly and carefully, sliding each layer down her body, slowly revealing a chest that has an intense reaction on you; you are once more drawn back to how you were four years ago, falling all over her at her simplest of motions.

“Under the box, there’s instructions.”

With one quick swipe, you take off the cardboard, revealing your true gift. A mostly bare Chaewon covered in giftwrap and strips. in You reach for the slip near her tummy and slowly scan the contents:

> Yunjin suggested the idea. I thought it was really fucking funny. Don’t worry, just do everything written here. If you follow each instruction, you’ll unwrap me pretty quickly. There’s no better present than your patience and I’ll never take that for granted. ever Merry Christmas my love <3—

your babygirl, Chaewon

That much was clear—now how to put it into action.

With each layer removed, Chaewon appears to be easing down from her rigid stance. Down to the last piece of wrapping paper with a fervor that surprises you, she stands completely naked at the foot of your Christmas tree.

God, you can just stare at this all day. She’s as bright as the light illuminating the tree.

Your hands rest on her neck, caressing the sensitive area of her flesh, right below the chin. As you drag your nails along its surface, leaving faint red marks, she winces slightly from the pleasure.

You continue for several minutes, leaving trails of red that start from the nape to the underside of her breasts, fully savoring her perked nipples. Perhaps it wasn’t enough, with the cold winter breeze slipping in between the cracks of the window pane. Chaewon shudders, trying her best to resist your firm yet careful handling.

When you’ve run your finger out of place, you take the next course of action: to use your lips and tongue to warm her up. It begins with a firm kiss on the top of her chest, sliding down her chest, nipping and sucking lightly at the surrounding area. Your lips curl upward as you smile, remembering that behind the cameras, she’s all yours.

“Mm—fucking—” she whines, brushing her hands over your hair as you drop to your knees, admiring the absolute goddess that is Kim Chaewon in all her naked glory. “You missed me—this much—”

“Of course I fucking do,” you mutter, giving her body a consuming lick, drawing a moan from her lips.

You circle her navel with the tip of your tongue, every stroke drawing out soft whimpers and loud moans, which spur you to continue further. Your arms pull her up by the waist, until her upper body is suspended just off the edge. Her breasts, perky as can be, dangle before you, and without a moment’s hesitation, you flick your tongue at the taut nipple.

With an exuberant yelp, her hand clasps over her mouth, eyes shut closed to stop the tears from flowing out. You keep working your way down, your teeth grazing over the supple flesh, making sure that you leave evidence, a signature. A reminder. As you dip your tongue, licking straight at her skin, you can see Chaewon trembling under your touch, though she doesn’t try to resist whatsoever.

Not that she could if she wanted to. This was years of pent up waiting and frustration, boiling over all at once.

Finally, her core is directly below you, its folds slick, wet.

“Holy shit,” you mutter under your breath as you sit back and admire your handiwork. “You’re pretty much ready.”

Chaewon shakes her head frantically. “No, not yet, just a little—”

Her face and eyes were stained by sweat and her arousal, looking back up with pleading, half-lidded eyes.

With two fingers slipped inside, you rub circles on her clit, feeling her writhe and tremble under your movements, occasionally moaning with the sensation, becoming progressively louder. Even through the nights where you’d let yourself drift off to fantasies about her, thinking about the what-ifs, the could have beens, all that lost time, nothing will compare to seeing Chaewon close her eyes, breathing heavily from your fingertips touching her core.

You look back at her with a playful gaze, licking remnants of her slick away. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

“I’m just—a—very horny girl—Jesus, that feels so good—”

Chaewon can’t even muster a proper comeback; your tongue does more than enough work to get her to shut up and surrender completely. You hold her legs open and dive straight in, devouring her slick.

The whining girl squirms from the sensation, letting you rest your hands on her chest. “Fucking—fuck—”

“Patience,” you say with a single gesture, laying the leftover sashes of velvet to the ground.

Easing your way up with her back to the floor, you hover right over her with your head just mere centimeters above Chaewon’s. As you feel the warmth between your breasts touch her soft skin, you wonder just how in the hell can you possibly make out the faintness of your heartbeat amidst her desperate cries.

A part of you still wonders whether or not this is real. It wouldn’t be far off to think that this could all just be another dream, another mirage that Chaewon’s divinity brings you. And yet, no amount of hallucinating can give her the sparkles in her eyes when she sees you, like when you turn to her from the tree—that unmistakable gleam when her hands dart out and slip beneath your shirt.

The tips of her fingers find their way onto the fabric of your boxers. You wonder whether or not Chaewon will be able to even salvage its threads with how desperately they are grabbing and ripping at the seams. But then, a harsh tug rips the thing completely—the tiny threads snap as she tosses it onto the floor.

Brushing a thumb over your throbbing cock with ease, she laughs in amusement at your wince. You gulp, unable to process just how adept her fingers have become—at how desperately, willingly, you surrender yourself into her touch.

You brush the stray pieces of her hair out from her eyes, marveling at the brightened shades of blue and green from the lights reflecting over Chaewon’s: a face frozen in ecstatic rapture.

“I love you so much,” she says with a hush, not trying to hide the fact that fingers have worked their way over to your glistening cock. “No matter how far we are apart, I still think about you. Merry Christmas, darling.”

Though it should come to no one’s surprise that your body gives a strong, eager response with every fleeting touch. No amount of preparation was enough to anticipate the slow movement of Chaewon’s hand stroking you to hardness, while she slowly undresses you with the other.

Falling at your feet, the heap of clothes are quickly pushed aside, unimportant against the touch of her lips against yours—possibly the greatest sensation you’ve ever felt all year long.

To taste her lips again is pure joy. With her skin underneath the palm of your hands, it’s impossible to contain your excitement, and with each passing second, the urge grows even stronger. It had been too long; all the self-restraint has finally amounted to something.

“N-not here—t-there,” you motion with a hand over to the door, gesturing toward your bedroom. “Let’s go—”

Quickly, you scoop Chaewon into your arms and kiss her hard, knocking whatever remaining air is in the room straight out of her lungs. Plopping her on the mattress, you take a moment to admire her body in all its beauty: the smooth lines on her stomach, the delicate curves in her limbs, the toned structure of her figure. Every piece is what has kept her together, and every part has driven you crazy over the past several weeks—if not months, even years.

Chaewon has her full attention focused on you, her breaths deep and heaving. The way her legs curl around the fabric as she’s bare before you, body writhing, already dripping in copious amounts of arousal.

The quiet sobs of your name spill out from her mouth, not long after she’s released those first few words of command. “Please.”

She has to be more specific—especially at such a time like this. There’s many things to request from, especially the state she’s in.

Your palm rests on the top of her mound. “Merry Christmas, indeed.”

“Enough teasing. Touch me.”

You notice the look in her eyes changing—already so glassy and teary, staring back at you, only you, no one else—wondering just how much she wants this, or perhaps you’re the one thinking that way.

Her head throws back with each small swipe, biting her lip, begging, pleading to a God who’s left you a long time ago to bless her and leave her broken beneath your fingertips.

You must have lost your fucking mind; her moans were enticing, far too beautiful for words alone to express. No thoughts cloud the space as you explore every inch, her hands reaching, stroking your cock again and again and—

“Fuck—”

The single word escapes out of her mouth, hips rutting as her back arches, a last ditch effort to stop herself from losing what little control she can muster. A weak whine passes through her mouth as she looks at you with pleading, tearful, wide-open eyes.

You’re certain she’s going to need you now—like you’re oxygen to a dying flame. She needs to be smothered, engulfed by you.

"Why not take what you want,” you coo in between heavy breaths. “Right now?”

“Because I don’t fucking deserve this,” she whines, body twisting, coming undone with every touch, every little sensation. “Because I’ve kept you at arms’ length for so fucking long, I—”

Chaewon lets out a deep moan that encapsulates all your pent-up depravity in a single swooping sound. She lets herself go, utterly relinquishing control into your hands.

Another reminder of just how dangerously, suffocatingly wet she is.

“I’m glad you know how much I fucking missed this,” you tell her, laying a kiss on her tight, toned belly, giving that cunt an appreciative rub for good measure. “Even for just one night, this cunt is all fucking mine.”

“Yes. Never a doubt,” she cries out, cheeks utterly flustered, throwing her head back in anticipation. “Just—give it all to me—”

And without another moment’s hesitation, you smother Chaewon, pressing your body on hers, pouring kiss after kiss over her creamy, sweaty skin, teasing her cunt with the tip, brushing it against her quivering, eager core.

“Patience,” you shush, running your hands along the smooth flesh on her shoulders. The sight of her delicate neck, the flesh ripe and ready, causes a reaction deep inside, a feeling that was very familiar: raw lust.

This feeling of wanting Chaewon all to yourself will never disappear. Your blood will sing inside of you, desire growing with every little thought about her—you’ve barely even done a thing to sate it—if anything, it’s just grown stronger.

“Please. Fuck me. Please.”

But just how far will her patience hold?

“Only since you’ve been so sweet.”

As you lower yourself, inch-by-inch, her expression contorts with the intrusion: a sign of being properly filled and fucked for the first time in ages. Your first few thrusts are a test of her elasticity, how long you can last while she adjusts around you.

It isn’t the first time Chaewon’s ever taken you inside, but each subsequent re-entry is a work of art. Every gentle thrust produces an ear-splitting cry; her nails dig deep into the sheets and her eyes are rolling into the back of her head.

And a moment after you’re balls deep, skin pressed against skin, your chest brushes against her sweaty flesh. Even with her vulnerable form shaking and shuddering at your touch—she doesn’t tell you to stop, or do anything to avoid letting her voice get louder and louder.

If anything, the opposite happens.

She squeals, tears dripping out from the side of her face. “Need it so bad—need you—”

That is a sign for you to push even further.

Sucking lightly at her taut nipples, Chaewon shudders at the slightest flick, sensitively mewling. Her palms fly to your scalp and pull you away from the tender flesh.

“There’s no rush,” you tease. “Don’t wanna move fast. Gonna savor this tight body all fucking night.”

“God,” Chaewon mutters through gritted teeth. “That’s the hottest shit I’ve ever heard— ”

Her attempt at a comeback, the burning sensation building in the pit of her gut, is an indication she needs more—that’s exactly what you’ll give, over and over again, each movement picking up in pace, rougher than the last.

All throughout, Chaewon’s utterly wracked, hips wildly bucking upward. Your palm snakes underneath and pushes it down, her bare, shapely ass grinding against the warm fabric of your bedsheets, building up the pleasure and fire. The room fills with the collective sound of skin slapping skin, her pitched moans melding with muted groans, almost resembling some kind of twisted mating call.

Pulling your hand from its firm grasp, you give Chaewon’s ass a harsh slap. Her face jolts backward with the blow, eyes half-shut with bliss. Another, just because you can—followed by a third spank.

You don’t think you’ve heard her curse quite this loudly. The impact makes her sing.

With all these noises she makes, from the content sighs to the gasps and grunts, and even the crying out for God, for a reprieve from your onslaught, to the outright shrieks from the harsh strikes on her sensitive skin: every bit is beautiful.

In some strange, convoluted sense, she sounds even better in pain.

“Yes—fuck—so fucking good—” she cries out, bracing against every hit, every thrust, every inch you fill her. “More—harder—please—”

With one hand you dig, curling fingers into her arm. A pained scream erupts from her, causing her hips to lift in reaction, cunt desperate and searching, looking for some sort of friction. Your other hand is still sore from the brutal slap on her tender flesh.

“Close?” The question is brief, to the point.

“Very fucking close!” Chaewon yelps as your thighs come colliding with her once again, rubbing your thumb gently at the swollen clit, whispering in her ear delicate, comforting encouragement. “Oh my God—”

The rest is indecipherable; an utter garbled mess. Her hands, strong and commanding, hold onto you for dear life, spreading her legs as wide as they can, watching you thrust, leaving no corner untouched.

Her whines are loud and clear. A bit more of her whimpers, followed by pleasured, pitchy screams, and she’s gonna pop, any minute now.

Your body instantly tenses at the sound.

“Fill me.”

Loud and clear. Just what you’ve been waiting to hear.

“To the brim—please—”

God, your knot. You could feel it swell up from the base—it’s happening, oh fuck.

Your palm grips tightly onto the back of her head, intertwining with her hair. The first streak of cum shoots out with unrelenting force, pumping into her cunt with a strength you didn’t think you could fathom. Your mind goes blank, lost in its own pleasure. Her body collapses into the bed, tears spilling.

The inside walls tighten; her pussy sucks you in, squeezing your cock until there’s nothing left. You empty the clip, completely filling her, her knees trembling while her grip tightens on the bed, lost in total rapture and ecstasy.

No. Wait. There’s more. Fuck.

Each deep push pumps more of your hot cum into her cunt, which clamps down onto you. As each burst of your load travels straight from your cock into her slit, her legs wrap firmly against you. It’s hard to keep breathing at how much Chaewon constricts around you.

A clear, full stomach—that’s what she gets for her service.

You exhale out, not realizing you were holding your breath as you looked down at her sweaty, shaking body—at your job well done, with all the crevices marked with signs of you. The pleasant hum that floods her veins gives you a warm tingle all throughout the rest of the night.

And, knowing just how exhausted and spent she must feel, you gently wrap your arms around Chaewon, bringing her close and resting your lips on her cheek. With a chaste kiss, you murmur softly into her ear:

“Let’s never leave the apartment until next year, okay?”

She can only respond in deep, tired breaths. You can’t help but laugh.

And then, with a playful slap of your face and a chuckle of her own, Chaewon replies:

“You know damn well that ain’t ever happening.”

“I love you, Chae.”

“I love you too.”