"What We Could've Become" | Lily x Male Reader

String lights shine overhead around the wedding venue. Soft jazz music is played by a live trio beneath a tent of dangling flowers. Guests mingle, laughter hovers in the air like blossoms. Lily is poised and beautiful in an emerald green dress. She stands beside the bar, drinking from a champagne flute.

Her smile is gracious. Rehearsed. She's made the rounds all day.

Then her breath hitches.

Through the grass, near the edge of the dance area, YN steps into sight—wearing a somewhat rumpled suit, his hair longer than before, his usual quiet peace to his presence. He's talking in mid-sentence with someone, his soft laughter filling the air. But his eyes search the party—and find hers.

Both paused. Their stare filled with unspoken longing brought by the aftermath of their shared unfortunate memories.

“Of course he’d show up.” Lily muttered under her breath, leaning away from her crosshairs before returning to view his stunned reaction.

Meanwhile, YN told the exact same thing as hers. It’s natural for either of them, they can agree that it’s been two and a half years since they’ve last seen each other. Thankfully, this time… they don’t look so fragile and unpleasant to endure.

They hesitate. Neither moves. YN adjusts his jacket, takes a small breath, and starts walking toward her. Lily straightens, unreadable. She doesn’t look away despite panicking inside what she should do as he approaches.

He stopped a few feet apart from her chair. Their height leveled, allowing them to deeply connect in their gaze and peek into the eyes that upheld the same experience they suffered.

“Hey.” He was the first one to initiate, snapping themselves out of their senses.

“H-Hey.” She took a beat.

“After all this time, you still look… exactly the same.” YN smiled genuinely.

“Well for me, you don’t.” She contradicted.

“That bad?” His eyebrows raised at the sudden comment.

“No. Just... different. A little softer, maybe.” She shrugged as she softly replied, a hint of smile appeared on her lips.

There was a pause. The silence is heavy between them, but not cold.

“I- I didn’t know you’d be here.” YN still manages to get the flow of their conversation going.

“It’s Bae’s wedding. Of course I’m here. She introduced us, remember?” Lily mocked him like she was surprised he didn’t caught it that easily. Thinking that he may have forgotten it like it was nothing kinda scratched her heart that was supposed to be fully healed after several years and it annoys her.

“Oh, right.” YN didn’t deny about that, and the following had Lily proved wrong. Mentioning the pronoun ‘us’ not because of something random, but referring to that one particular and unforgettable memory that opened a chapter of their life altogether, beats him.

“I- I mean, she told me you might come, but I didn’t let myself expect it.” he elaborated to avoid making her come suspicious.

“Well... surprise, I guess.” Lily answered nonchalantly. There was a long look between them again.

“Can I buy you a drink, or is this where you vanish politely?”

“I already have a drink.” She wiggled her wineglass filled with ice and martini intentionally without glancing at him.

“Then maybe just a few minutes. No pressure. Just... catch up.” He replaced the invitation for a clearer purpose.

“You really want to do that? Open that box?” Lily doesn’t need to specify it, he know what she’s pointing at.

“Honestly? I’ve been carrying the box around for years. Might as well look inside and well, if you would mind… join me through it.”

Lily decided to consider him, then gestures to a small table off to the side, beneath an olive tree wrapped in fairy lights.

They sat. The music swells in the background. Laughter echoes distantly. But here, it’s just them.

“So... music teacher still?” Now it’s Lily’s turn to start.

“Yeah. And a band on the weekends. Mostly weddings, actually.” He replied calmly.

“Then why didn’t you perform earlier for our newlywed bestie?”

“Her husband preferred his favorite band as you can see earlier.” He said. “But it’s a no biggie to me, I mean she just wants to not ruin the opportunity for her husband.

If only I could though, I hope they let me play the slow songs.”

“Still chasing sad chords, huh.”

“Someone has to.” YN tightlipped and bounced his brows. “And you? Designing cities yet?”

“Almost. Lead consultant now. Just wrapped a project in Lisbon.”

“Lisbon. Wow. That’s…”

“Far?”

“Brave.” YN corrected. A quiet pause emerges on them.

“You know, I used to think if I ran into you again, I’d either slap you or walk the other way.” Lily went straightforward in a comedic manner.

“And this is...?”

“Somewhere in between.” They both chuckled before falling again into a silent rhythm.

“I never hated you for leaving.” He admitted out of nowhere.

“And I never hated you too for staying. I just... couldn’t do both.”

“Well, we tried to make love the solution.” YN agreed. “But sometimes love isn’t a bridge. Sometimes it’s just a room you shared once. And then walked out of.” He shared his perspective afterwards.

“And yet... here we are. Sharing air again.” Lily couldn’t help it but to smile at how absurd it is.

“Yeah. Strange, isn’t it?” He chuckled.

“Not strange.” She shook her head. “Familiar. And a little sad.” Silence ensued once again.

YN sighed and distracted himself away from the sight of his ex-wife’s relapse. “Maybe we were never meant to last.”

Lily looked at him before lowering into somber. “Or maybe we were just meant to remember each other. Properly. Not through bruised memories and silence.”

They sat for a while longer as they distinct themselves from the lively crowd. In their own world, no decisions are made. No big declarations. Just their presence as they weave dreamlike “what could’ve been” glimpses into the present situation, which perhaps sparked after their unexpected reunion at the wedding, when old emotions are stirred.

Before the wedding occurred today, YN sat alone on the edge of his bed, guitar resting beside him, untouched. The room is dim, save for the soft flicker of a desk lamp. An old photo of Lily tucked into a book peeks out, half-hidden. He closes his eyes.

“In one life, I said yes. I packed up everything and followed her into the wild noise of the city.”

Lily and YN bustle through a sunlit, brick-walled loft in the heart of the city. He’s humming while making coffee; she’s barefoot, laughing, sketching designs on a pad. A child’s toy sits on the floor.

Lily crosses to him, kisses him. Their eyes meet—warm, sure.

Then later that night, they would watch the skyline glitter below, arms wrapped around each other. Music rises faintly from the streets.

On the other hand, Lily, who was alone also in her own room,  poured a glass of wine, sits by the window overlooking the sea. Her phone is dark. Her fingers hover over YN’s name in her contacts—but she doesn’t call.

She exhales slowly. Closes her eyes.

“In another version, I stayed. We built a quiet life. A beautiful one.” Lily hangs laundry under the sun while YN teaches their child guitar chords on the porch. The sky is wide, clean. Peaceful.

She might be greeting her husband whenever he comes home, a dinner she cooked with all her heart, and a sweet intimacy that he would need to regain his energy.

Back at the present, as the emotional weight of their unresolved love builds, they finally confronted the past together: the fight, the pride, the dreams that didn’t align. They spend one last night, full of old memories and aching tension.

“I used to replay that night like a movie. Over and over. Wondering what I missed. What I didn’t hear.” Lily said.

“Yeah?” He smirked a little. “Actually when I do, I edit it in my head. To give us a better ending.”

That final argument before they separated, the one similar thing they wish they could just turn back the time to prevent it from happening.

The apartment is warm, dimly lit by sunset through the windows. Lily paces slowly, a letter clutched in her hand. YN is on the couch, tuning his guitar, absentminded.

“YNN” she called his name after leaving the bedroom.

“Hmm?”

“I heard back”

“From the firm?” He glanced up to match her eyes.

She nodded, catching her breath to prepare her next words. They offered me the job. The one in the city. Lead designer on the Eastline restoration project. It’s... it’s everything I wanted.

Silence filled the room. YN sets the guitar down gently.

“Wow. That’s—Lily, that’s huge.”

“I know.” She smiled, but it’s tight. A flicker of fear behind it.

“So when do you start?”

“Three weeks. They want me settled before the project kicks off.”

YN leaned back as he tried to process what he heard. “You’re... really going to take it?” He stuttered in hesitation.

“YN, this is what I’ve been working toward for years. I’ve done everything right. Played it safe. Waited for something to open up that felt bigger than this place.” Lily replied.

“I know. It’s just-” YN breathes deeply. Lily’s enthusiasm faded slowly. “That place isn’t here.”

“I never said it would be.”

“But I thought maybe... we’d find something that was ours. Together. Here.”

Lily comes forward to him and looked at him concerningly. “We’ve been here. We’ve tried here. But I’m not growing,YN. I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for years, waiting for life to start. And this job, this city, it’s the first time I feel like the door's open.”

“And I’m not invited through it?” He scoffed.

“I want you there. Of course I do. But I can't make this decision for both of us. I won’t.” Lily shook her head in refusal.

“You’d really go without me?” YN’s face turned afraid.

“I’d rather not. But if you ask me to stay, you’re asking me to choose between you and the only dream that’s ever felt mine.” Lily softly said as she still hasn’t removed that expression on him.

There’s a beat. YN looked away from her to have some short time figuring it out.

“Please say something.” She begged.

“I want to be proud of you. I am.” He glanced at her with troubled emotions.

“But I don’t know how to follow you without losing what little of myself I’ve finally come to understand.”

YN had deep roots in the town: his sick father needed care, so YN obtained a stable job as a music teacher at the town high school in order to stay close and help.

Furthermore, the town was the resting place of his late mother, the place where he wrote his first musical compositions, and a place of solace in its familiar streets and rhythms.

At a deeper level, YN has been struggling with a hidden fear of failure. Years ago, he had attempted to "make it" on the city music scene and returned home bruised and disillusioned. Home town was not only cozy—it was safety.

The thought of starting over in a huge, frenetic city where Lily would flourish and he would be lost was terrifying to him. There, he thought it’s best to just strive at the difficult odds of the town than settle for easier opportunities in the city despite its dangerous surroundings.

He believed Lily's dream wasn't their dream, and although he loved her very much, he was beset by visions of being a shadow of a man in her limelight. He didn't verbalize this.

Instead, their discussions fell apart in frustration, and his refusal sounded obstinate and selfish when, in reality, it was born of fear, responsibility, and not feeling "enough" for the life she envisioned.“

What happened in yours?” Lily inquired.

“You stayed. We fight less. I chase music again, you design from here. We make it work.” He answered with a forced smile.

“Mine has you coming with me. We drink bad wine on the balcony of that tiny city apartment. You play guitar when I can’t sleep.” She reciprocated the pain of that dream only to be manifested into just a possibility that may never occur.

“But we both know that you’ll be always a little dimmer in it. Not unhappy, just… not you.”

The apartment is half-packed. Boxes scattered. Framed photos missing from the walls. The tension is thick but subdued like a storm just before it breaks.

“I asked you one thing, YN. Just one thing. To take this leap with me.” Lily’s voice has gotten tired at this point.

“It wasn’t one thing, Lily. It was everything. New city, new job, new life. None of it included me as I am.” His voice raising through each words.

“What does that even mean?” Both confusion and annoyance grew on her.

“It means… I’m not built for that world. The gallery openings, the networking dinners, the constant chase. You'd be flying, and I’d be... trying not to fall behind. Again.” He stretched his side out for her understanding.

“So you'd rather stay here? Stagnant? Safe?”

“Call it what you want. My parents needs me. This school needs me. And maybe I need this place more than I thought. It’s where I know who I am.” He tried to sound convincing.

“And who are you, YN? A ghost in a town that never asked for anything more from you?!” She rebutted at how ridiculous it’s catching on her.“

Maybe. But I’ve already tried leaving once. You remember how that went. Came back broke, humiliated, empty. This, this town… it may be small, but it’s real and has been kind to me.” He choked after recalling that scary moment for him that could’ve gotten life-threatening.

“So what was I then, huh? A distraction before you ran back to safety?” Lily complained.

“No. You were among the risk I took.” He noted. “The best one I ever made. But this? Uprooting everything again? I can’t do it.”

“Then I guess we’re done talking. I’m sorry but… I already made my decision, YN.” Lily clutches her boxes filled with her belongings.

YN could only watch her as he slowly break inside. “So, that’s it? Now we’re torn apart? Just because we’re built for different maps of our goals in life?”

Lily turned around and viewed at him with a frown. “I suppose. But I hoped that our love could somehow redraw those borders and merge our routes together. Yet, it’s unlikely, and I believe it’s just gonna get even more difficult for us.”

She exits the room, leaving YN standing alone. His eyes went glassy in tears as he got defeated by his emotions unable to stop her from leaving his side.

Lily had a dream since childhood—a creative mind that envisioned beauty in movement, spatial arrangement, and architectural forms. She envisioned designing buildings that spoke volumes, aspiring to be part of projects that shaped skylines rather than furnishings.

She worked her way through college, freelanced for decades, and fought her way up in a rough, frequently male-dominated field.

And then, after decades of rejection from her applications, a globally recognized design firm hired her for a job in the city which is a lifetime opportunity to oversee a restoration project in an historic district.

This was more than just a job. It was a kind of validation. It symbolized the fruition of hundreds of sleepless nights and countless compromises that ultimately paid off.

The city offered challenges, recognition, self-growth—and a chance to live up to her full potential without having to scale herself down to fit in.

But YN didn't want to go. And Lily, who'd waited for years for someone to notice her, couldn't stand the thought of living in her shadow once more—not this time. It wasn't about leaving him behind—it was about finally choosing herself.“

I was scared. Back then. Not just of the city. Of not being enough for the life you wanted. You were all light and velocity, and I... wasn’t.” YN said.

“And I was terrified of standing still. Of waking up one day and realizing I’d let my dreams rust trying to make someone stay.” Lily shared her own to make themselves mutual.

“We really tried, didn’t we?” He sighed heavily.

“We did. We just didn’t know how to lose without it breaking us.” Lily agreed. There’s a moment of silence built as they got speechless at their unhappy outcome. The wind made some few leaves fall through them as they mourn.

“Do you regret it?”

“No.” Lily denied. “But sometimes I wish love was enough to change our minds.” 

“Yeah. Me too.”

They look at each other. Not with longing, but with a shared ache. A quiet gratitude. The kind you only find after letting go.

After some few chats about other random topics of how their life has been doing, Lily monitored the time on her watch. She glances at the crowd still minding their business to make the place lively for the newlyweds.

“Hate to break all of these but… I should go. I still have an early flight tomorrow.” She started to fix her bag on its comfortable arrangement and straightened her dress as she stood up from her seat.

“Where to this time?” He got intrigued.

“Barcelona. New project. Six months.”

“Oh. Have a safe travel there. But hey, you always did look good in motion.” He went sneak with his kidding which made Lily snicker.

“And you? Still teaching?” She threw the same style of question at him.

“Yeah. And writing again, a little. It’s... quieter now. But it fits.”

“Good. I’m glad.” She nodded and smiled, feeling impressed. “You sound more like you again.” She returned the chair to its place. “Thanks for catching up with me, YN. It’s been nice to see you again.”

There’s an unspoken weight in the air. It urged YN to stand up fast and follow the now walking away Lily out of the venue.

Few more steps to her car, he shouted his name that made her halt. “Lily, wait!”

“Yeah?”

He stopped on his tracks and took a deep breath. “I have one more thing I need to say. Before you go.”

Lily just stood there and waited, letting him be.

“I never stopped loving you. And I think I couldn’t make other woman feel the same as I did for you.” He finally lets out the burden he’s carrying for years. Lily remained silent, her eyes on him as she hummed.

“I’d tell myself it would fade. That time would do what people say it does… heal, dull, erase. But it didn’t. It just changed.

It’s not the kind of love that hurts anymore. Not the kind that begs to be held onto, or fixed.

It’s quieter now. Like a song I stopped trying to finish. But I still hum it sometimes.

It’s there when I see something you would have laughed at, or when I teach a kid a chord you would’ve teased me for playing too often.” He smiled, mixed into sorrow and calm.

I love you like… like an old photograph I’ll never throw away. Because it mattered. You mattered to me, Lily.” Lily’s eyes glistened in tears.

“You have no idea how long I waited to hear that.” She nodded, wiping off the tears now streaming down her face. “And how many times I imagined saying the same thing.”

She steps closer, her expression open, vulnerable in a way she hasn’t allowed herself to be in years.

“I never stopped loving you either, YN. But I got really good at pretending I did.”

When I moved to the city, I told myself you were just a chapter. That someday I’d look back and see us as a lesson, a phase.

But you weren’t. You were the center. The anchor to my memories. The part of what-ifs I carried into every room, every relationship, every silence I tried to fill.”

She glances down, then back up where she met his gaze. “I used to wake up some mornings thinking I heard your guitar. I’d walk past someone wearing your cologne and forget how to breathe.

I didn’t stop loving you. I just… folded it up and packed it away with the things I thought I couldn’t afford to feel.” He smiled painfully as he listened through every affirmation she revealed.

She took a breath before clearing her throat. “But you’re right. Love doesn’t always mean holding on. Sometimes it’s the thing that lets you walk away with your head up and your heart intact.

It’s knowing we were something remarkable. Something real. And knowing that we don’t have to keep reliving it to honor what it meant.

She places her hands on his arms that are warm, steady, and gentle.

“You were my home once and I would never forget that.

That’s an entirely different kind of love that lasts, isn’t it? What we had. The kind that lets us know when to let go.” He nodded.

They stand there for a moment, suspended in that still, sacred space between closure and memory. Then they embraced—long, still, like a pause in a song that says everything.

She pulled back and kisses the ghost of his past on the cheek before he vanishes entirely to her unresolved conflict one last time. “Goodbye, YN. Thank you again, for this.”

“Goodbye, Lily.” He said softly. She smiled and started not turning around as she gets on her car. The wind picks up again. YN watches her disappear and sits back on the bench alone—at peace, but changed, without getting haunted anymore by the ghosts of what they could’ve become in their bittersweet love story.