To Be Honest

Everyone appreciates honesty right up until you’re honest with them.

That’s the problem. Sometimes, it’s just better to lie. Maybe not all the time, but sometimes. Every now and then you might also have to omit the truth, but that’s just lying with extra steps.

That’s the problem, but it’s not your problem. No, your problem is much worse than that. Your problem started when you picked up that mango; all you wanted was a nice little treat, a juicy and succulent mango to drip down your cheeks and stain your shirt. Instead, you got cursed.

You’d be lying if you said you believed in such nonsense like curses.

But you can’t.

You physically cannot lie; therefore, you’re literally incapable of saying you don’t believe in curses – you are cursed.

It’s rather dreadful. You don’t realize just how many little white lies are shared throughout the day and just how insufferable of a human you become when you take those away.

When Eunbi walks past you and asks how your weekend went, you can’t just give her a little ‘great’ and move on with your day. No, you are metaphysically required to tell her all about how you accidentally punted your dog across the room and spent an entire night cuddling with her as an apology.

When your boss, Sakura, asks if you want to stay late on a Friday night after everyone else leaves, you must decline. It’s even worse when she makes it clear that she’s not inviting you to work overtime, but rather she’s interested in something considerably more dubious – you still have to decline.

Don’t get it twisted, Sakura is hot, and she absolutely doesn’t care if her skirts are too short and her tops are too low. Unfortunately, she’s in a relationship, and despite all your flaws you can still honestly say you’re not a homewrecker.

Does it feel like you’re missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime? Of course. It absolutely breaks you, but you have no choice. Not only do you have to honestly tell her that you’re not interested, you also have to tell her you don’t like her new blonde hair because it’s too short – she didn’t like that very much.

That leads to the next problem. Job hunting without being able to lie is fucking impossible.

Today is the first interview you’ve been offered in weeks, and you’re physically shaking to the point that the receptionist has asked you multiple times now if you’re alright.

“Our water cooler just ran out, so I can’t even offer you any water,” Yujin, the receptionist, laughs. “Unless you want a sip from my water bottle.”

“Yes please,” you answer, fighting the urge to slap yourself on the forehead.

Yujin raises her eyebrows at you for a second before slowly standing up. She keeps staring at you while unscrewing the top of her bottle and walking over to hand it to you.

You’ve already told her the truth, there’s nothing compelling you to take a sip from her personal water bottle, so you do a quick mental calculation to help decide whether you should take the sip or not.

The verdict: it would be extremely fucking weird to not take a sip at this point.

“Usually people are nervous, but not this nervous,” Yujin says, watching you bring the bottle to your lips. “She’s really not so bad. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever said anything to offend her, and I’ve been here for like three years now.”

Great, at least you’ll be the first for something.

“Thanks,” you hand her the bottle. “For the water and the advice.”

She stares at you for what feels like an entire minute before heading back to her desk and turning her attention back to the screen in front of her.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes. Another few minutes – which feel like hours – pass before Yujin informs you that she’s ready and you can head in. After taking another deep breath to unsuccessfully calm your nerves, you get up and head into the office.

“Welcome! Yena, you must remember me from the phone call we had last night,” the girl hops to her feet and meets you at the door. “What’s wrong? Too nervous to tell me your name?”

“Yeah,” you smile confidently despite the internal cringing.

“No worries, I guess it’s a good thing we have your file,” she winks at you while returning the smile. “Come, have a seat.”

You walk past her and into the seat she’s holding for you.

“So,” Yena steps around her desk and plops down into her executive chair. “Big fan of what I’ve seen, you have an incredible resume.”

“Thank you,” you nod respectfully. “I can say the same about your company. Despite the small size, the infrastructure you have in place is incredibly impressive.”

“‘Small size’ is one way to put it, I prefer to use the term growing,” Yena laughs.

Then, the problem appears. You see, Yena is quite small, she hardly came up to your chest when you walked past her just now. Where she isn’t small, however, is in her chest region. To be blunt, she’s stacked.

It doesn’t help that her top is almost as low cut as the ones Sakura wore on the daily. It really doesn’t help when she decides to lean forward before asking her next question. And it really really doesn’t help when her next question is worded in the worst way possible.

“So, tell me, what is it that you see that you find so appealing?”

A second passes for you to accept the fact that it’s over and that you’ll be back to sending companies emails tomorrow.

“Your… tits…” you force the words out of your lips.

Yena pauses for a beat before slowly tilting her head down and taking a look at herself. Then, just as slowly, she lifts her head back up and meets your eyes, squinting just a bit.

“I’m glad you like them, grew them myself,” Yena says and you can’t quite understand her tone. “Is that why you left your last job? Your boss didn’t have nice tits?”

“No, hers were also lovely,” you say while fighting the urge to jump out of the window.

“Oh,” Yena sits up straight again and pulls the front of her top up. “I see the size of the breasts at your workplace is important.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“You wouldn’t? So it’s not important, but it’s just an observation?” Yena chuckles. “Did you also observe Yujin’s chest or am I the lucky girl?”

“I did not, she was more covered up than you are,” you answer through gritted teeth.

Yena’s mouth hangs open in disbelief. “Implication being?”

This one hurts the most because you genuinely don’t believe it but the way she worded her question means you have to answer. She’s not asking what you think, she’s asking what the implication of your previous statement is – it’s truly just an unfortunate situation.

“The implication is that you are a slut,” you fight against each and every syllable coming out of your mouth.

The pause this time is palpable. Genuinely the most uncomfortable pause you’ve felt in your entire life. Your eyes won’t stop peeking at the window – that seven story fall is looking extremely tempting. Not as tempting as Yena’s tits, of course, but you’re fairly confident you won’t have to tell her that.

“That’s kinda rude,” Yena finally speaks up while zipping up her sweater. “But I guess it’s true. Look, I like to wear stuff that’s comfortable, I’m not trying to impress any new hires.”

“I think that’s reasonable, and I didn’t think you were trying to be inappropriate by choosing such a top.”

“I wasn’t, I just wanted to be comfortable and I thought it looked cute,” Yena nods, picking up a pen from her desk and scribbling something on a piece of paper. “Don’t you think the top is cute?”

“It was cuter unzipped.”