Not my type

“You like Gawon unnie, don’t you?”

“Ugh…Sooin, don’t be ridicolous now. She’s pretty but she’s not my type”, you groaned, rolling your eyes back. It has been almost a month since Sooin convinced herself that, for any unknown reason, you had a crush on her older friend.

To be fair, Gawon was really pretty but your eyes and your heart were already taken by someone else, by the same girl who was trying to make you confess your love for her bestfriend.

If she just she knew…you were so in love with her that you felt stupid. Yeah, a stupid idiot in love; and not just stupid, but also a coward, because you were scared of her possible reactions. What if she rejected you? What if she laughed about your feelings? What if she decided that she never wanted to see you again?

“Dude, seriously, tell her! I’m sick and tired to hear her while she tries to set us for a first date”, Gawon pinched the bridge of her nose and huffed, exhausted by the situation.

“You are being paranoid. She would never kick you away from her life. We’re talking about Sooin, the same Sooin who glare at any boy who dare to look in her direction but who at the same time is all smile and giggles when you are around. Be for real!”, she encouraged you, taking a sip of soda, before looking around to check if Sooin was coming back.

The third component of the trio excused herself during your study hours in library. “I have to go the toilette, I hope you two don’t mind if I leave you alone”, she said nonchalantly, before winking at both you and Gawon in a very not-nonchalantly way, before skipping away.

“That’s because we are good friends, Gawon. Who would glare to a friend? Maybe you, but not Sooin”, you replied, shaking your head, not convinced by Gawon words. She was really glaring at you now.

“Alright, let’s even admit that she won’t delete me from her life, fine. But you can’t seriously expect me to believe you about the feelings part when she’s trying to put us together? Why should she do that if she wanted me? It doesn’t make no sense at all!”, you insisted, bringing the argument to the table, sure that this would have been the checkmate to win the discussion.

“You really are an idiot”, Gawon commented with a mumble. It was rare to see her so done, but it was clear she was fed up with the situation and wanted to put an end to the story.

“Listen…”, she took a deep breath, running her hand through her black hair in frustration, “…I should not tell you this but I had the same exact conversation with idiot number 2 less than 24 hours ago. So, please, gather your courage and declare to her as normal normal person as soon as possible”.

The silence was loud. And it was not because you were in library, it was because you were speechless. Gawon decided to drop a bomb like that without any warning and your brain didn’t know how to even react to such a news.

“And by the way today I’m leaving an hour earlier, so…yeah, good luck, idiot”, she added, glancing at you with a slightly worried expression. Despite her words, her tone was soft, almost careful. You knew she was on your side, sometimes she just had to be harsh like that.

“You should have seen her face when her fries fell on the floor, Anna was about to cry, I had to buy more for her”, Sooin told you, covering her mouth with her hand to hold her loud laugh in the quiet evening.

You managed to crack a smile, but nothing more came out. You were so nervous, you felt the burden of your actions, this was your chance.

And yet you didn’t feel ready enough. Revealing your feelings is not something you can do with a light heart. And then why ruining such a beautiful evening? The air is warm but breezy. It was not hot enough to walk around wearing just a simple t-shirt; in fact Sooin had leather jacket on, heels on her feet that echoed in the street with trees that you always take to go back home together.

“…hey, are you even listening to me?”, she suddendly asked, softly placing an hand on your wrist to stop your steps.

“I…I-no, sorry, I was not focused, lately my head is somewhere else”, you apologized, embarassed, scratching your neck and looking away.

“Yeah, I noticed, you seem so off in these days. I didn’t want to push you or else, but you know you can talk with me, right? About anything”, she offered you a warm smile, her thumb caressing mindlessly the back of your hand.

You were about to thank her, to tell her she was simply the best…then she added something to her speech. “If it’s about Gawon, I can talk to her and-”.

“It’s not about Gawon, fucking hell!”, you shouted, making her eyes go wide and almost making her drop the choco ice cream she was holding in her free hand.

“It’s not about Gawon, it’s about you!”, you repeated, letting out all those words that you kept for yourself until you were unable to do so anymore.

“M-me? What I have done? Have I been too pushy? Too noisy? If it’s about about that-”, once again you interrupted her, before she could rumble about something wrong.

“You have done nothing bad, Sooin, you never do. You are perfect, you are literally the reason why I didn’t drop the college on the first year. You have been nothing less than the best friend I could have asked for”, you explained, now turning your anger tone into something softer.

It was not her fault if she was blind to your feelings, you were the one who hid for too much. And now it was the time. If Gawon told you the truth, Sooin was in your same position. It was now or never.

Sooin was not talking anymore, she was simply listening to you with solemn attention. She understood you were telling something important, her ears were open, ready to take in what was coming next.

“It’s just that…I don’t want this anymore”, you said quietly.

Sooin heart was about to break in thousand pieces. She felt her world about to crumble. Were you tired of her? Did you get with Gawon and you didn’t want to spend more time with her? Was that the last time you two talked?

You literally could see the panic growing in her eyes. You really sucked in talking about your feelings.

“Not like that, Sooin”, you reassured, taking her hand between yours, a small amused smile appearing on your lips because she lowkey looked adorable in that state of agitation.

“I want more than being good friends or bestfriends, I want to be with you, I want you to be mine”. I was this easy in the end. Few simple words were enough to explain yourself. You felt your chest so light, as if someone broke the rock the was placed there before.

Sooin lagged for a couple of seconds, as if an inner translator was processing the reveal. Now her panic in her eyes was different. Her cheeks were turning into a bright shade of red.

“Y-you like me?”, she managed to ask in the end in a breath, almost not believing her own ears. “Why? Since when? How?”, a million of questions were popping in her mind. “So…you don’t like Gawon?”.

Your eyes rolled back so hard that you were probably able to look your own brain. “Oh, for fuck’s sake”, you sigged, exasperated.

You pulled her hand, making her ice cream fall, before she ended up between your arms. She looked at you with those big intense eyes, biting her lips.

“I already told you, no? She’s not my type, you are”, you shook your head, chuckling, before capturing her lips in a soft kiss that you could explain what you felt more than any absurdly long speech.

In a first moment Sooin froze, trying to understand if she was dreaming or it was real. Eventually she melted in your embrace and kissed you back, cupping your cheeks with her hand.

“And why did you wait so long to tell me? You really are an idiot”, she complained, stomping her heels on the floor, before kissing you again. She felt the need to recover all the time lost, months spent to belive you were not interested to her in a romantic way.

She wanted to slap you so hard, but also kiss you until you both had no oxygen in the lungs. “I’m sorry, it was not easy to confess when you were playing Cupid”, you justified your lateness, laughing against her lips.

Now she wanted to slap herself instead, but still slapped your chest. “Yah, let’s not talk about that anymore. Now you’re stuck with me, and I’m not letting you go so easily”, it was meant to be a threat, but Sooin words sounded like honey to your ears.

“I could not ask for anything better honestly”, you said, humming softly, before taking her hand back in your, fingers interwined. Even the usual route you took to go back home seemed prettier, the starts shining brighter in the sky.

“You still owe me another ice cream”, she said, making you both laugh. It was going to be the first ice cream you would buy her as your new girlfriend.