No Matter What

The phone rang twice before Gaeul answered.

“Hey,” you said, trying to keep your voice light. “It’s a beautiful day today. Thought I’d come by and drag you out for a walk.”

There was a pause on the other end, long enough that you thought the call had dropped. Then came a thin laugh. “Drag me out? That sounds dangerous.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Not today,” she said quickly.

“You’ve said that every night this week.”

Static filled the silence, and you heard a faint shuffle—like she was pacing, or maybe just fidgeting. Her voice dropped when she spoke again. “I’m just… tired.”

“You’ve been tired for months now.”

Her reply came sharper this time. “So? Maybe I’m allowed to be tired.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Of course you are. I just… I’m worried, Gaeul. You never want to leave the house anymore. You skip classes, cancel plans. That’s not you.”

“People change,” she muttered.

“You used to call me at midnight just to drag me out for ice cream. That wasn’t so long ago.”

“That was a long time ago,” she said flatly.

“It was a few months ago.”

“I like being home. That’s all. I don’t need to explain it.”

“No,” you said gently, “you don’t. But… it feels like you’re hiding from something.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not?”

This time her voice trembled, just enough to seep through the static. “Because it’s not true. I’m fine.”

But she wasn’t fine. You could hear it.

“If you were fine,” you said softly, “you wouldn’t sound like this every time I ask you to step outside. You sound…“ Afraid. You didn’t say it. She would have hung up on you.

On the other end, a long silence. Then, barely above a whisper: “Please… just let it go.”

The line stayed open a few moments longer, the only sound her uneven breathing, before she muttered a rushed goodnight and hung up.

You sat there with the phone still pressed to your ear.

Gaeul hasn’t been herself for months now. You didn’t know why. She just changed, almost like a switch flipped inside of her. You had a hunch it was her boyfriend. There really wasn’t any other reason: she was doing well in college, her friends didn’t do anything, and her parents were doing just fine.

Fuck. Why was it him anyway? Why not you?

Gaeul was still rotting in that apartment. He clearly didn’t do a good job. 

You had to take a stronger approach; otherwise, she’d never come out. While you were thinking about it, a movie was scheduled to air today. It was a re-run of something older, but it was horror, and you remembered how much Gaeul liked those. Maybe it would knock her back into her senses. 

Thirty minutes later, your car was already sitting in front of her house. You didn’t ask if she wanted to go; if you had, she probably would’ve said no. So you just rang at her doorbell with two crumpled tickets in your hand, and said, “Come on. Starts in half an hour.”

She came out in a hurry after recognizing your voice. Hair a little messy, sweater sleeves rolled over her elbows, and big glasses rested on her small nose. “What is it?”

“Horror movie,” you grinned, showing your tickets. “I heard it’s pretty good. Pretty scary. The ones you like, right?”

That earned you a tiny huff, but you saw the corners of her mouth rising up.

“What’s the plot?” she asked.

“Don’t remember,” you replied. “Hop on and come find out.”

“Wait a sec,” she said, going back into her place to slip on some shoes and some more appropriate clothes.

She didn’t take long. She didn’t really bother with how she presented herself in front of you. After about ten minutes, she was already outside.

“I’m here,” she announced. She put a hand on the handle and looked around.

“You’re supposed to look left and right when crossing the street, not when entering a car.”

“Shut up.”

“Alright,” you said as she stepped inside. You turned on the engine and left her house behind. 

“So? Did anything good this week?” you asked. You didn’t like the silence.

Gaeul stayed quiet for a moment, even though she didn’t really need to think about it. “You know, studied and—”

“—reviewed for the future exams, yep,” you interrupted her. “Well, at least did you eat? The food I brought you yesterday.”

“Yeah, yeah, I ate it, it was really good. You know I always like chicken.”

“That’s good,” you said and smiled.

You found parking very easily. The theater was half-empty, and the air already smelled like butter and sugar. You bought the largest bucket of popcorn they offered and filled it with butter and sugar. You could probably bury half of your arm inside it. 

She rolled her eyes but stole a handful as soon as you sat down. It was for her after all.

When the lights dimmed and the screen lit up, you leaned back, pretending you weren’t watching her out of the corner of your eye. The first jump scare landed exactly where you knew it would, and she flinched hard, shoulders jerking.

You bit back a laugh.

“Silence in the theater,” she hissed at you. From there on, she was completely immersed in the motion picture.