Close Encounters

It may have been almost three years ago, but whenever I close my eyes, I can still see her looking right back at me. Sometimes I can even feel the softness of her skin on my fingertips, and no matter where I go, her scent lingers, as if a part of her was forever attached to me. I still dream of her smile almost every night. I can’t decide whether it’s good or bad that my heart so desperately refuses to forget her. Maybe that’s why I’m choosing to write this down. Maybe I’m afraid that one day I won’t remember anymore.

I was a fresh college graduate still finding my way, but was lucky enough to land a job as a junior software developer at a large tech company right in the heart of Manhattan, a full 3,000 miles away from home. It was a drastic change, but one that I definitely needed, since I grew up in San Francisco and then went straight to college in LA. In other words, I’d never left California for 22 years.

Living in New York was both exhilarating and terrifying, but to be honest, I was quite content with my life, no matter how lost I felt or how confusing it was at times to be in a completely different world. I shared an apartment in Brooklyn with my two best friends from college, and if it weren’t for them, I would’ve never found myself in New York City. In fact, if it weren’t for them, I would’ve never gotten a job either, since the three of us won a competition together during a summer internship that got us immediately hired afterwards. Needless to say, James and Jake were the coolest guys I knew, even though they drove me crazy at times. Well, most of the time.

Interestingly enough, the three of us first met at a K-pop club our freshman year—embarrassing, I know—but I originally only joined hoping to meet cute girls—which, I suppose, just makes it even all the more embarrassing. And although there really were a good number of pretty girls that attended the weekly club meetings, it turned out that they all cared way more about their favorite idols than regular guys like me, so the chances of finding The One were slim to none. Despite that unexpected (but major) setback, I still stayed, because after all, I truly was a K-pop fan—particularly of Girls’ Generation.

The club was divided into smaller groups, kind of like war factions (and it certainly felt that way during the Friday night competitions), based on everyone’s top 3 favorite groups. James, Jake, and I immediately clicked because we were the only people to put Girls’ Generation on every line. But just like in real war, rules needed to be set in place, and the three of us agreed that as long as our favorite members were not the same, we could be friends. Surely enough, James was obsessed with Taeyeon and Jake’s dream girl was Tiffany. As for me, it was no contest, having been decided from the very beginning of SNSD’s debut: Jessica. It’s funny how everything in my life seems to revolve around the letter J, including my own name—John.

Although I was a big fan of SNSD for many years, I was never able to go to any of their concerts because the tickets always sold out ridiculously quick. To top it off, they were always held in California, and being relocated to the east coast made everything even more difficult. But little did I know, SM Town was finally coming to New York that year, and the guys had managed to grab tickets in time.

And that changed everything.

“Yo John! You’ll never believe what we got!” they shouted, barging through my bedroom door without even knocking.

I covered my face with the blanket and rolled over towards the wall, hoping that they would go away if I just ignored them. It was a Saturday and I was really looking forward to sleeping in after staying up all night binge-watching Dream High.

“Wake up or you’re going to regret it!” James said as they laughed obnoxiously, causing me to become both curious and irritated, but mostly the latter.

“Let me guess, your aunt in Korea sent you guys some more signed posters,” I groaned, my voice muffling through the blanket. “Did you at least get one of Jessica for me this time?”

James’ aunt worked at a broadcasting station and was his official signed-merchandise-dealer. It wasn’t clear what her title was, but she somehow always managed to get anyone to sign anything for her.

“Wake up and find out!”

I slowly started feeling more awake, which annoyed me even more. It couldn’t have been any later than 10am, and I wanted to sleep until noon at least.

But the sound of a poster unrolling made me jump.

“Seriously?” I immediately got off the bed and ran towards them.

It turned out to be the new Run Devil Run poster that I hadn’t gotten around to framing.

They both burst out laughing.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said, ready to kick them both out, perhaps literally.

“Sorry, it was Jake’s idea,” James said, trying to contain his laughter.

“Give it back at least, before you crease it.”

I tried to snatch it out of his hand, but he held onto it tightly, ripping the bottom corner.

“Oops...”

“What the hell dude?” I yelled. “This is brand new! Do you know how hard it was to get this version? It’s probably sold out now, too!”

Just then, James pulled out a white envelope from his back pocket.

“Dude! It doesn’t matter that it’s ripped because we’re going to SM Town, and you can get her to sign you one in person!” he yelled wildly, and crumbled up my poster, tossing it into the air.

Jake caught the poster and also started ripping it to pieces. “I mean, technically she can’t sign it if it’s all torn up so it kinda does matter, but who cares!”

“SM—what? What are you—”

I was in complete shock, and immediately pulled the envelope from his hand, frantically opening it to see for myself.

It was true. Three SM Town Live 2010 World Tour general admission tickets at Madison Square Garden.

“But I don’t under—how did yo—”

“My other aunt who’s not in Korea!” James managed to say in between breaths as they continued cheering.

“You—you don’t have an aunt that’s not in Korea—”

“Yes I do!”

“Since when?”

“I honestly didn’t know either, but who cares!” Jake said, jumping up and down.

“Look, it doesn’t matter who or what I don’t have because I do have these tickets and we’re going to SM Town next month!”

The both of them continued screaming like the world was ending, and without even knowing why, I joined in as well.

The next few weeks took forever to pass by. I counted down the days—sometimes even the hours—which only made time go by even slower. Work, which was once so fun and fulfilling to me, suddenly became a huge drag, and I just wanted to go to bed the moment I got home so that the day would end.

I passed the time by daydreaming of seeing SNSD on stage in real life, wondering how different they would look in person compared to videos and photos.

What would the conversations between Jessica and me be like if I ever got the chance to talk to her at a fanmeet? Would I even know what to say to her? I would probably just freeze up, and then by the time I could form a coherent sentence, it would’ve been too late because she would have already finished signing my posters and albums.

But even that possibility felt like a dream in itself.

“Hey, so I was thinking—” James said during dinner one night.

“Since when do you think?” Jake asked, cutting him off.

“Shut the hell up—anyways, John, listen, I think we should book a room at the hotel they’ll be staying at. Just for that weekend, so maybe we could bump into them after the show is over. Haven’t you seen the fancams on YouTube of people meeting them in the elevators and stuff? That could be us!”

“How are we supposed to know what hotel they’ll be staying at?”

“My aunt thinks it’ll be the W Hotel by Times Square.”

“Wh—how would your aunt know?”

“What doesn’t she know?”

“That might be a little overdoing it, don’t you think?” I said while imagining myself getting a fancam of them walking into the elevators.