Ere

The cold air hits your skin, making it even easier for you to stay awake on this late Friday evening. As if your crowded thoughts weren’t enough to stop you from getting any rest. The city lights from outside that break through the hotel curtains outline the slender figure of the woman on your bed. You reach out to trace her frame with your fingers, but you hesitate. You were scared to wake her up, or to find out that she also wasn’t sleeping. Either way, you continue to lie down there, staring at the back of her head. You dread the idea of tomorrow morning. You dread waking up tomorrow with the uncertainty of her still being there beside you. You dread for the future of you both knowing what you do now. 

-earlier that night-

“Mina, I don’t understand.” You manage to get out while looking at the engagement ring on the table. “You already said yes. We’ve already started planning. Why are you suddenly backing out?” You try to control it, but the subtle anger in your voice rises above the confusion and pain. 

“I told you. It wasn’t my decision.” Mina replied. She was staring out of your hotel room window, desperately trying to avoid making eye contact. She still looked stunning, the city lights bouncing off of her face. Every intricate detail is highlighted. Her dress glowed in the dimness of the living room. She’s perfect, like she always is. It almost made you forget that she was calling off your engagement. 

“You could have said no? That an arranged marriage in this day and age is a stupid idea? That you’re already in love with someone else?” You argue back. 

“And let my dad go to jail?” Mina turns to you with tears running from her eyes. “You think I wanted to call it off? That I wanted to get set up with some snotty, multimillion dollar company nepo baby that probably never had to lift a finger in his whole life? I had no choice.”

“We could have fought them.” You stand up. “If it’s a criminal case, I could have handled it. Hell, if I couldn’t, I know a few good lawyers that would have helped us, Mina. There had to have been some other way.” Your voice starts to soften after seeing her in tears. 

“It wouldn’t have worked.” Mina turns back to the window. “The dirt that they had on dad was… damning. Borderline disturbing. I was already in disbelief when they just told me. Imagine my horror when they actually showed me. More importantly, I didn’t want you getting roped in the mistakes my family made. Your career’s barely started and getting muddied in my family’s dirt isn’t going to help you.”

She made sense, but sense and logic wasn’t on your mind right now. You stand up with the ring in hand. You move behind her, hugging her tight with no intention of letting go. You hold on to her hand and slip the ring back on her. She looks at you with tears in her eyes.

“You already said yes. And I know we both probably haven’t even thought about our vows, but when you said yes and wore the ring, my promise already started.” You held her hand tighter.  “From that day forward it will always be you and me. In sickness and in health. For richer or for poorer. For better or for worse, Mina. You’re the only one for me, until my dying breath.” 

Tears continue to run down Mina’s face as she turns and buries her face in your chest. You continue hugging her, bringing her closer, holding her tighter.

“So I don’t care what dirt they have on your dad or your family. It doesn’t matter to me. I’ll fight it as long as you stay with me, for as long as you’ll have me.” You bring a hand to her chin to have her look up at you. “We’ll fight it. Together. Like how it should be.”

Mina didn’t reply. Honestly, you didn’t want her to. Or maybe you didn’t need her to. Sure, you were afraid of what she might say. Maybe she might agree with you, and fight the problem together. Or maybe she might tell you to move on and forget about her. Either way, your heart was already set with what you wanted to do. You’re not letting go of her and of your relationship. You're holding on for dear life, because you can’t imagine living without her.

The two of you stand there in complete silence. You’re lost in her teary eyes, the city light coming in from outside has her glowing in the darkness of the hotel room. It’s been minutes since you finished saying your piece. Minutes since either two of you have moved from each other’s embrace. You hesitate in making any move or sound, fearing her suddenly vanishing from your grasp. Instead, Mina makes the move for you. 

Mina’s hands race from your chest towards your nape. Her fingers lock behind your neck, pulling your head down for a quick kiss. When she pulls back, your eyes meet once again. It looked like she was waiting for your reaction, almost wondering if this was the right time. Mere minutes ago she had called off your engagement, but now she just kissed you. You had every right to be angry and upset with the mixed signals she’s been sending you. So what do you do? You kiss her back. Not a quick one, like the one she gave you a second ago. But a longer one. A deeper one. A more passionate one. Your lips were clashing for control. Your tongues lapping at each other for a taste. She pulls you down deeper, you lift her up higher. The desperation in your actions were evident. The tight grip around her waist, bringing her in closer with every chance you get. You wanted her to stay. You wanted– no, needed her to know that. What worried you was how you didn’t get the same feeling from her. 

When you both pulled back, no words were spoken. Mina was the first to act. She took your hand as she started making her way to the bedroom. Her free hand reached back and undid the zipper of her gown. With every step she took, the silk fabric slid down her slender frame. Her bare back slowly joined her already exposed shoulders. When she got to the bedroom door, she stepped out of the pooled white gown in nothing but her lace panties. All the while, you make quick work of your own clothes. Your suit jacket thrown carelessly on the couch. Your shirt tossed on the dining table. Your pants pooled beside her dress. She opens the door before turning around and holding both of your hands. She walks backwards slowly, guiding the both of you to the bed. She lies down, but you remain standing.

You tower over Mina as she looks up at you. The both of you pause for a moment. An eerie silence grows in the room, save for your shared heavy breaths. She looks up at you with a curious gaze, wondering what your next move will be. You, on the other hand, take this moment to do more than just look at her. You try to memorize all the little details about her. All the little imperfections that actually made her perfect. You do your best to take in this moment as if it was your last chance to. 

You were about to get lost in your thoughts before your body acted on its own. You drop to your knees before Mina and hold on to the bands of her panties, pulling them slowly down her toned legs. You come face to face with her entrance, ready to start with your routine of intimacy before she sits up and holds your face.

“No time.” She whispers to you. “I need you. Now.”

That should have been the first red flag for you. She never turns down foreplay, not like this. You relent and climb on to the bed with her as she continues to hold your face. She pulls you into another kiss as you position yourself between her legs.

The both of you were restless as you started making out. Your exposed cores rubbing against each other, getting you to full mast while getting Mina wetter with every second. Her hands still rest on your cheeks, not letting go of your face. Almost as if she’s afraid of you leaving. When you finally manage to pull away, the both of you pause and stare into each other’s eyes. 

If you could count how many times you’ve gotten lost in Mina’s eyes, you’d rather try to count the number of stars in the night sky instead. At least you know that has a definite end. When it came to Mina, you would find yourself getting lost in her eyes every other moment. Her pupils contained galaxies, ones you would have loved getting lost in for the rest of your life. 

You’re brought back from being lost in your thoughts by Mina when she closes the gap and crashes her lips on to yours again. She’s being impatient. You can feel it through the kiss. There’s desperation in her movements. She was clinging on to you harder. Gripping you tighter. Like she doesn’t want to let go, but she knows she has to. At this point, it should have hit you already.

You should have known.

When Mina relents and pulls away, she gives you the slightest nod of permission. You understand. With your shaft in hand, you trace her lips with your tip, up and down, before settling at her entrance. There was some slight resistance before she welcomed your advance. You ease into her slowly, with the familiar feeling of her velvet walls molding around you. With every inch you pushed into her at an agonizingly slow pace, you could feel her pull you in and get wetter. When you reach the hilt and she’s taken you entirely, you pause as you both need a moment. A shared guttural moan escapes from your mouths, followed by some panting and whimpers. You couldn’t see her face since she buried it deep in the crook of your shoulder and neck, but you could tell the pleasure was making her close her eyes tight and grit her teeth. When she graces you with the view of her beautiful face again, she holds your face in her hands as she plants a soft kiss on your lips. She then places her forehead on your own, mixed droplets of your sweat and hers running down and falling. In the softest voice possible, she whispers against your lips: “Go.” That’s all you needed to hear.

You start pounding into Mina. At first going slow, sensual, and deliberate with your actions. You take your time to savor each moment of your dick sliding out of her folds before being sucked back in. You feel her velvet walls warp around you, welcoming your shaft before snapping back around it. Every time you pull your hips back and crash back into her, you do your best to remember the feeling. Both physically and emotionally, you wanted it imprinted on your brain. Every little detail, her small reactions, the way sweat starts running down her skin, the grip her fingers had on your arms. You want to remember it, all of it. 

When you feel that you’ve prolonged Mina’s wait enough, you start ramping up the speed of your thrusts. Your hips pull back and snap back into faster each time. You could feel your tip reach her deepest parts, earning moans and shrieks from her. She has you in a vice grip, her legs wrapped around your waist and ankles locked behind your back. Her arms were wrapped around your shoulders, her hands pushing you into the crook of her neck. You couldn’t see anything, barely hearing her moans and whimpers. The only sense working was taking in her scent. A mixture of her perfume and natural sweat. Despite being deprived of the other senses, her smell alone was enough to keep fueling your hunger and passion. It urges you to continue pistoning into her, every thrust growing faster than the last. You could barely hear her muffled moans and whimpers, but you can feel them vibrate against your neck. When her grip on you loosens, you’re able to pull back from her neck and finally experience the rest of her reactions.

Mina’s eyes were still shut tightly as you continued to plunge back into her over and over again. Each time you hilt into her makes her moan and shriek. Each time you feel your tip hitting her most sensitive parts. When she finally opens her eyes, you’re graced with the view of her hazel colored galaxies. She lets go of your neck and holds your face again. You slow down a bit, as you feel her caress your cheek with her thumbs. She gives you a nod before she pulls you in for a kiss. Enough of a permission to get the both of you to the finish line. 

You start pumping into Mina at a break neck pace. There’s desperation in your actions. Your movements telegraph what’s going through your subconscious mind. You want her to stay. You want to stop her from leaving. You wonder if fucking her well would be enough. You wonder if letting her know how much you loved her— no, letting her know how much you adored her would be enough to make her stay. This cluster fuck of thoughts would have scattered throughout your brain, but Mina brought you out of the trance again.

“C-close, so close. Harder. Please.”  She weakly says to you in between moans.

“Me too -fuck- Me too.” You reply as you pick up the pace.

“Together. Inside. Please!” Mina shouts.

You do your best to pull it together. Anything you could do to get the both of you over the finish line. Your thrusts grow erratic, varying from deep and hard to shallow and light. Mina’s nails scratch your back in response, leaving a trail of red marks. You go back to sucking and kissing her neck while she buried her teeth into your shoulder. It only took a few more pumps before the two of you hit the final crescendo of your relationship, you just didn’t know it yet.

Mina reached her peak first. A cry muffled by your shoulder before being released into the world after she stops biting you. Her eyes shut tightly as her head falls back. Her body arches away from the bed, into yours as you continue to thrust into her. Her hips buck against you, some of her release gushing out each time you pull back. Her walls convulse around your shaft, working in tandem with your thrusts, pulling you in deeper each time. The feeling of her contracting around you, her juices gushing against your member, all of these sensations working together trying to get you to your peak as well. And they get the job done.

When you reach your climax, you lose all sense of yourself. You manage to thrust into Mina one last time. Going hard and deep before the first of your release shoots out into her waiting womb. You end up seeing white, grunts and profanities escaping your mouth as you grit your teeth. You use all your remaining strength to keep your arms holding you up. Mina wraps her legs around you, making sure to stop you from slipping out of her. Her walls don’t stop contracting around you as you continue filling her up. She’s milking you dry, but it seems like your peak has no end. Her hands find your face again, bringing you in for another deep kiss. Your lips never leave each other as the two of you continue to ride out your shared orgasm.

When you feel the last of your release sputter out into Mina and she starts to settle down, your strength finally gives out. You fall onto your back beside her, both of you breathing heavily from the intense physical toll that the past few minutes needed from you. You’re left staring at the ceiling. Silence fills the room, aside from the occasional pants that escape your mouths. As if on cue, you both turn your heads towards each other. Your eyes lock with each other, tension sharp enough to cut the air. You’re both waiting– anticipating each other’s first movement. After a minute of dread, you decide to act.

The only thing on your mind at that time, even after the past near hour of sex, was Mina. How you wanted to hold her. How you did not want to let go. So you do. You reach out, bring her close, and lock her in an embrace. Her arms couldn’t wrap in response, her hands resting on your chest. You hold her close. You hold her tight. You feel her hot breath against your bare chest. Her fingers tracing shapes against your skin. In the silence, in a moment of weakness, you make one last plea to Mina. Against her silk-like, black hair, you whisper your final cry.

“Stay. Please… Just stay.”

Without even seeing her face, you knew it got to her. You felt her breath hitch against your chest. She looks up at you, a tear falling from her eye. The hazel colored galaxies piercing through you. She reaches up, a hand on your cheek, and gives you one last kiss. Not as deep as the past few ones, and certainly not as long, but the meaning remained. You felt the love, the reassurance. It gave you the slightest sliver of hope that she’ll stay. Because she will, right?

Right?

The sun’s bright rays break through the curtain and hit your face. You groggily turn over, trying to avoid the light when the realization hits you.

The bed feels lighter.

You shoot up to a sitting position to check where you last saw her. Grasping at the area as if she would magically come back. You jump out of bed, speeding towards the bathroom in the hopes she was just there taking a shower, or in the living room watching the TV. Unfortunately for you, she wasn’t there.

Again, there was still some sliver of hope. A chance that she just went out for food or something. A foolish wish, but a wish nonetheless. Yet, any hope you had gets wiped away when you return to the bedroom. On the nightstand, you see her engagement ring along with a note.

Your heart shatters when you see it. You immediately felt empty. With shaky steps, you approach where she slept and sat on the bed. You reach for the ring and the note, your hands trembling throughout the whole ordeal. You grip the ring, balling a fist around the piece of jewelry out of pure sadness. You could only make out the first few words of the note before you covered your eyes with your forearm, desperately trying to stop the tears that started to fall.

”I’m sorry…”