damned if i do (damned if i don't)

The eviction notice arrives on a Tuesday, which somehow feels ruder than if it had arrived on a Monday. He stares at the email for several long seconds, half-hoping the words might rearrange themselves into something less catastrophic.

They don’t.

The property is being sold. Tenants are required to vacate within sixty days.

Thank you for your tenancy. Kind regards.

For a moment, he simply sits there. The office around him continues as normal. Phones keep ringing, the sound of keyboards clicking echoes around. By the break room, someone is laughing. Like nothing had happened.

The world refuses to acknowledge that his life has just become significantly more complicated.

He reads the email again. Then a third time. Sixty days, two months. Not nearly enough time to figure out what the fuck he was supposed to do. Where he and Aeri would go.

Rent had somehow become a luxury item in the last few years. Every listing they looked at was either wildly overpriced, actively infested, or appeared to have been photographed through a fisheye lens by someone attempting to conceal a murder scene.

Fuck.

Fuckity fuck fuck.

He closes the email then immediately reopens it, as if perhaps the landlord had emailed again in the last four seconds to say:

April Fools!

Except it’s May. Which unfortunately means the email remained exactly the same. For several more seconds he stares at the screen. Then he opens a calculator. Immediately closes it again. Whatever numbers he was about to attempt to calculate weren't going to improve the situation. They were broke. 

His phone buzzes. 

Aeri.

how’s work??

i’m totally failing stats btw

and i need you to know that if i fail i’m dropping out and starting an onlyfans. just fyiA laugh escapes him before he can stop it. At least one of them was still capable of functioning.

He types back.

you say this every exam season

because every exam season i’m right

also if i become an onlyfans girl you can totally quit your job

bcs let’s be real, i’m hot

so we’ll be rich

He stares at her messages, a smile threatens despite everything. She wasn’t wrong. And maybe that made it even funnier.

babe, as fun as the idea of being rich is, we both know you’re way to big of a baby to do that

excuse you???

you're acting like i wouldn't absolutely dominate onlyfans

i’d be like the n1 girl

says the girl that cries over pictures of cute dogs

just say ur heartless and go, damn

or maybe i’m just a functional adult

i hate u

Another message arrives almost immediately.

i love u

His smile fades. Not because of the message, but because suddenly all he can think about is the email sitting open on his monitor. The apartment, rent, Aeri’s scholarship. The finals she's been studying for since January. The fact she has absolutely no idea what landed in his inbox five minutes ago.

For a moment, he considers telling her. Then he pictures exactly what will happen. She’ll stop studying to spend every spare second scrolling apartment listings. She'll convince herself she's failing. She'll panic. And right now, panic is the last thing either of them can afford.

So instead he types:

i love you more

By the time he gets home that evening, Aeri is exactly where he expected her to be: at the dining table, surrounded by enough paper to qualify as a fire hazard, her glasses sat wonkily on her face. Textbooks, flashcards, and half-finished notes are strewn everywhere, flanked by three empty coffee cups and an energy drink that's probably bigger than her head. 

She doesn't even look up when he enters.

"Welcome home."

"You didn't look."

"It could only be you,’’ she replies, taking a swig from one of the many forms of caffeine in front of her. "Your footsteps are depressed, they’re distinctive." 

He drops his keys onto the counter.  "You realise that makes absolutely no sense, don’t you?"

"I'm a statistics student." She finally glances up from her laptop. "Everything I say is backed by evidence." 

"Didn’t you once tell me Mercury was in retrograde?"

"That was different."

"It was astronomy."

"It was vibes, baby, you wouldn’t get it."

"Those are not the same thing."

Aeri points a highlighter at him. "According to who?"

He opens his mouth then closes it again.

"Mhm, that’s what I thought."

Looking pleased with herself, she returns her attention to the mountain of notes spread across the table. 

He heads for the kitchen before she can ask anything else. The apartment isn't large enough to hide in, but years of cohabitation have taught him where the blind spots are. The kettle, the fridge, the sink. Domestic camouflage.

Behind him, pages continue turning, highlighters continue squeaking, and for approximately forty-three seconds, he thinks he's getting away with it. Until she speaks again, that is.

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" 

Ah fuck. 

He glances over his shoulder to see that Aeri isn't looking at her notes anymore. She's looking directly at him. He should've known better.

"You always ask that."

"That’s because it’s always really obvious to me when something's wrong with you." 

"No it's not."

Aeri's stare doesn't waver. He lasts approximately three seconds.

"Okay, maybe something's wrong."

"Thank you."

"You say that like you've won."

"That’s because I have."

"You haven't."

"I absolutely have."

She closes her laptop with the confidence of someone ending a business meeting. "Now talk."

He looks away first, which immediately makes Aeri even more suspicious.

Aeri narrows her eyes. "Oh my God."

"What?"

"It's money related, isn’t it."

He considers lying again. Unfortunately, Aeri has spent four years systematically learning all his tells, completely destroying his ability to lie convincingly. His silence is answer enough.

Aeri's expression shifts immediately, the teasing disappears. "What happened?"

He exhales slowly. "The landlord's selling."

For a moment she simply stares at him, as if she’s still just processing what he just said. 

"The landlord's what?"

"Selling."

The silence that follows feels heavier than it should.

Aeri slowly removes her glasses. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

He waits.

Aeri blinks once, twice. "Okay, that's actually fine."

"It is?"

"No."

"Right."

"No, of course not."

Aeri fires her laptop back up immediately. Like she's been activated.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean, what am I doing?" she repeats, fingers drumming aggressively against the table as she waits for the screen to come alive. "I’m finding somewhere for us to live."

"Babe-"

"Nope."

Her fingers are already moving, the familiar rapid-fire clacking of keys fills the apartment.

"Absolutely not."

"Aeri."

"No."

"You haven't even looked at anything yet."

"I don't need to."

"You kinda do."

She points at the screen. "Look."

He looks.

The first listing has black mould, the second somehow contains a mattress in the kitchen. And the third? The third looks like how Stephen King probably imagined room 1408.

"Okay," Aeri says. "Don't panic."

"I'm not panicking."

"Good."

A beat passes.

"Because statistically speaking, panic reduces problem-solving ability by-" 

"Aeri."

"Right."

She closes the tab containing what appears to be a converted garden shed being marketed as a luxury studio apartment.

The next listing appears, both of them stare at it. The bedroom is in the kitchen, the shower appears to be in the living room, and the toilet is nowhere to be found in any of the photos.

"Maybe it's outside," Aeri says. 

"What?"

"The toilet."

"Aeri."

"What? Maybe it's one of those communal situations." Aeri says defensively. "I've seen communal toilets before." 

"Where?"

"Festivals."

"Right."

Aeri pauses. "Actually, that's a terrible example."

"Thank you."

She sighs dramatically and closes the tab. The next apartment is somehow worse, and each one after just seems to build on that. Aeri was convinced that one of them was just a communal hallway that someone was trying to charge rent for after slapping a mattress down. 

Another listing, another rejection, another impossible price. The apartment slowly grows darker around them. Hours pass and at some point he makes dinner, though neither remembers eating it. The search continues. By ten o'clock, Aeri had stopped making jokes.

That was the most worrying thing of all. Aeri always joked. It was her coping mechanism.

The silence that fills the room when Aeri goes quiet is a heavy, suffocating thing. It’s the kind of silence that makes the walls feel like they’re pressing inward, shrinking their already small apartment into something microscopic.

She is still staring at the glowing screen of her laptop, but her fingers have finally stopped their frantic dance across the keyboard. The blue light reflects off her face, casting sharp shadows that make her look exhausted. More exhausted than weeks of studying for statistics ever had.

He stands by the edge of the table, his hand resting on the back of her chair. He can feel the tight line of tension in her shoulders.

"Hey," he says softly.

Aeri doesn't look up. Her eyes are fixed on a listing for a basement apartment that costs twice their current rent and has a single window that looks directly out onto a brick wall. "Statistically," she starts, her voice small, devoid of its usual rhythmic bounce. "The housing market in this city has a vacancy rate of less than two percent. And prices have inflated by forty percent in the last three years alone."

She stops. She swallows hard, her throat bobbing.

"I don't think there's a punchline for that one," she whispers.

For several seconds, neither of them says anything. The apartment feels impossibly quiet.

Aeri stares at the screen - scrolling, scrolling, scrolling - as if she can force an apartment into existence through sheer persistence.

"Aeri."

She doesn't answer. Another listing opens, another disappointment.

His chest tightens. "Aeri."

This time she looks up, a smile instantly appearing on her face. It’s fake. Terrible. The worst smile he's ever seen.

"Good news," she says.

"Oh yeah?"

"One of them had walls." She laughs, but the sound breaks halfway through. She rubs both hands across her eyes, the humour evaporating. "I can't lose my scholarship."

The words hit him harder than he expects.

Aeri stares back at the screen. "If I lose it, that's it."

"You won't lose it."

"But what if I do?"

The question hangs between them, and neither of them likes the answer.

"I've spent four years getting here," Aeri lets out a shaky breath, her voice cracking slightly. Just enough. "I can't screw this up now."

He moves around the table before she can retreat behind another joke, and gently closes the laptop. "Aeri, baby-"

Immediately, she reaches for it again. Then opened another apartment listing. The room appeared to be located directly above a nightclub, the description proudly advertised this. Aeri closed the tab without speaking.

Another listing, another rejection, another impossible rent price.

Then suddenly-

"Wait."

His head lifted immediately as Aeri sat up straighter. "What?"

"I found one," she said, the words coming out cautiously, as if she were afraid the apartment listing might hear her and disappear.

He moved closer as Aeri turned the laptop toward him. At first glance, it looked fake. Not obviously fake, just suspiciously nice. It had a large bedroom, a modern kitchen, two bathrooms, and it was close to campus and public transport. Plus, utilities were included.

He immediately looked at the price, then looked again, because surely that was wrong.

"That's cheap."

"I know."

"Like... suspiciously cheap."

"I know." Aeri was already scrolling through the photos.

The apartment looked bright, clean, and lived-in, not staged in that unsettling way some listings were. There were books on shelves, plants by the windows, and a coffee mug sitting on a kitchen counter. The place looked like somebody actually existed there, which somehow made it feel more trustworthy.

"What's the catch?" he asks. "There has to be one. There always is."

Aeri scrolled further, then stopped, her eyes narrowing. "Oh. There it is."

"It's a room."

He exhales, the tension leaving his shoulders. That made more sense. A shared apartment wasn't ideal, but at this point, ideal had quietly died somewhere around listing number forty-seven.

He leaned down to read the description: Professional female seeking roommate. Large private bedroom. Shared amenities. Quiet building. Students are welcome. Available immediately. Contact Karina.

The room itself was huge, bigger than their current bedroom, and the apartment was nicer than anything they'd seen all evening. Somehow, it was still cheaper than most studio apartments.

"This feels sketchy," he murmurs.

"It does."

"It feels like the room where horror movies start."

Aeri snorts. "Honestly? At this point I'd be willing to live with a serial killer."

"Babe."

"I'm serious."

"Aeri."

"As long as he respected quiet hours."

Her words make him laugh, the first genuine laugh in hours. Aeri smiles faintly, but then her expression softens just a little, and the exhaustion returns. The fear, the stress she’d been trying so hard to hide.

"Can you go see it?" She gestures helplessly toward the mountain of textbooks surrounding her. "I can't. My exam's in four days."

He glances at her notes, the highlighted pages, the flashcards, and the statistical formulas currently consuming her entire existence.

"Okay."

"You'll go?"

"Yeah."

And for the first time all night, the tension in Aeri’s shoulder seemed to disappear. Not fully, but enough. Enough that he knew that securing a new home for them was everything.

The bus smells faintly of wet coats and stale coffee. His attention remains fixed on the apartment listing open on his phone. The photos look exactly the same every time he checks them. Large bedroom, bright kitchen, close to campus with utilities included.

The price still looks wrong, suspiciously so. Which probably means there’s a catch. There always was.

The first apartment had turned out to be located directly above a nightclub, the second had mould enthusiastically growing over an entire wall. The third had smelled like something had died beneath the floorboards. After that they'd all started blending together. 

Impossible landlords demanding extortionate rents or advances, tiny rooms, just complete and utter nonsense. 

He was beginning to feel more disheartened by the minute. The worst part is he was sure Karina’s apartment was going to be the exact same kind of scam. Ugh.

His phone vibrates, pulling him away from his thoughts. Aeri.

have fun with at the serial killer apartment  

I’ll try not to get murdered, no promises tho

thank u baby

means a lot

also,

if this place works out

i can actually focus on studying

The amusement fades from his face as he reads the message once, then again. Simple words. Nothing dramatic. Nothing she probably thought twice about sending, yet the sincerity behind them make something in his chest hurt. 

For days, she’d been carrying both problems at once: finals and the apartment. Every waking hour was divided between statistical models and housing listings, every conversation eventually circling back to one disaster or the other.

He thinks about the way she’d looked three nights ago, curled over her laptop at one in the morning with dark circles beneath her eyes and a half-finished flashcard pressed against her cheek because she’d accidentally fallen asleep sitting upright. He thinks about how she’d gone quiet after hours of apartment hunting, how she’d stopped making jokes, stared at the screen, and whispered: I can't lose my scholarship.

His chest tightens.

If this place works out, I can actually focus on studying.

Such a small thing. Most people wouldn’t understand why those words matter so much, but he does. Because what she really means is: I can sleep. I can breathe. I can stop being terrified all the time.

The bus slows at a red light, and his reflection stares back at him from the window - tired, and older than he remembers feeling. For a moment, he lets himself imagine it. Walking through the apartment. Actually liking it, being able to call Aeri afterward and hear the relief in her voice. Maybe, for the first time in weeks, seeing her close her laptop before midnight. Maybe even seeing her smile again, laugh.

The light changes. The bus begins moving.

He locks his phone and slips it back into his pocket. One apartment. That’s all this is. One viewing. No point getting his hopes up.

But despite everything, he finds himself thinking the same thing he’s thought before every viewing: Please let this one be normal.

The apartment was absurd.

That was his first thought.

The listing photographs had looked good, but listings always looked good. Real life usually came with unpleasant surprises. Mould hidden behind furniture, tiny bedrooms photographed with wide-angle lenses. Landlords who forgot to mention the broken heating until after you'd signed the lease.

This place looked better than the photos.

Sunlight poured through floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. The kitchen was modern. The living room was large enough to actually be called a living room instead of a glorified hallway with a couch squeezed into it.

And the bedroom.

God.

The bedroom alone was larger than the apartment he currently shared with Aeri.

"This is ridiculous."

The words slip out before he can stop them.

The woman showing him around laughs softly.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

He turns and immediately forgets what he'd been about to say. He hadn't been expecting Karina to look like that. Not even remotely. She wasn't dressed up, if anything, she looked like she'd rolled out of bed twenty minutes ago. Grey sweatpants. Oversized university hoodie. Dark hair pulled into a loose ponytail that looked seconds away from falling apart entirely.

No makeup, no jewellery. Nothing. Just one of those people who was unfairly beautiful. The kind of beauty that made expensive dresses seem unnecessary. The kind of beautiful people probably got tired of being told about.

"Sorry," he says.

"For staring?"

Heat crawls up his neck immediately.

Karina grins.

"Don't worry. It happens."

He laughs to himself. Women that knew they were pretty were dangerous. He knew that one first hand. 

She leans casually against the kitchen counter. "So," Her eyes flickered over him. "What do you think?"

"I think you're probably charging way too little."

"Maybe I just hate landlords."

"Fair."

"Plus, I need somebody in quickly."

"How quickly?"

Karina shrugs. "This week, ideally."

That probably should've sounded suspicious. Instead it sounded like the best news he'd heard all month.

He walks slowly toward the windows. The view stretched across half the city. Even on a grey afternoon, it looked impressive.

"Aeri would lose her mind over this."

The words leave his mouth automatically.

Something changes. Not much. Just a fraction.

Karina's smile remains exactly where it was. Yet somehow it looked different.

"Your girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

He pulls his phone from his pocket without thinking and turned the screen toward her. The lock screen photograph showed Aeri squinting into bright sunlight along the streets of Japan, her hair blowing across her face while she unsuccessfully attempted to steal his sunglasses.

Karina looks at the picture. For a second, then another. Long enough to register, but not quite long enough to be strange.

"She's pretty."

Something about the way she says it makes him glance up.

But Karina was already smiling again.

The moment passes.

"Yeah," he says, unable to stop a smile of his own. "She is."

Karina's eyes linger on the photograph one last time before she looks away.

"You've been together for a while?"

The question catches him slightly off guard. "Four years."

Karina hums. "Sounds serious."

"I guess so."

"You guess?"

He laughs. "I mean, yeah. It is. She's kinda everything"

Her gaze drifts briefly toward the city beyond the windows.

"Living together the whole time?"

"For the most part, yeah."

"Must've been difficult while she was studying."

"A little."

The answer comes automatically.

"Aeri works harder than anyone I've ever met, though. She'd probably live in a cardboard box if it meant finishing her degree."

A smile flickers across Karina's face. Small and strange. Gone almost immediately.

"Yeah," she says quietly. "I can believe that."

Something about the response feels oddly personal. Before he can think too much about it, she gestures toward the kitchen. "Want a coffee?"

"Sure."

As she turns away, he misses the way her expression changes completely, misses the way she closes her eyes briefly and sighs.

Instead, all he could think about is how the kitchen somehow looked even nicer up close, which was irritating. At this point, he'd already decided the apartment had to be hiding something; nobody rented out a place like this for that price without either being a serial killer or harvesting organs on the side. 

Karina moved around the space with easy familiarity, pulling mugs from a cupboard. "So," she says, "what do you do?" 

He leans against the counter. "Project management."

Karina makes a face. "That sounds like the kind of job title that means nothing at all."

"It basically is."

"Excellent." He laughs, and she asks, "What about you?"

"Masters."

"What in?"

She hesitates briefly. "Psychology."

"Damn."

"What?"

"Nothing," he says. "That's just a terrifying amount of knowledge to hand to another human being."

Karina snorts. "Trust me. People are much more predictable than you’d think."

The coffee machine whirrs to life, and for a moment, neither of them speak. Then Karina glances over her shoulder. "So, what does your girlfriend study?"

The question seems innocent enough.

"Statistics."

"That sounds terrible, actually." 

"It is." A smile pulls at his mouth immediately. "She's got finals next week. I don't think I've ever seen anyone work that hard." The words come easily - they always do when he talks about Aeri. "She's convinced she's failing."

"Is she?"

"Not even remotely."

Karina laughs softly. "Ah, one of those."

"Exactly one of those."

He watches as she reaches for a carton of oat milk from the fridge. Something tugs faintly at his memory as he watches the amount of vanilla she adds. Two pumps. Not one, not three. Two. It was followed by far more milk than most people put in coffee.

The exact ratio looked oddly familiar. His brow furrows.

Karina glances up. "What?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing."

She slides one mug across the counter toward him. He looks down, then laughs.

"What?"

He picks up the mug. "Aeri drinks hers exactly like this."

Karina's hand stills briefly against her own cup, barely noticeable. "You've been mentioning her a lot. Does she know you're here?" 

"She's the one that sent me." 

Karina goes still. Just for a second. Then she lowers her coffee cup carefully onto the counter. "Sent you?"

"Yeah."

"How'd she find the listing?"

"Honestly? No idea." He shrugs. "I’m convinced Aeri can do anything if she's stressed enough."

A strange sound escapes Karina, not quite a laugh, not quite anything else.

"Yeah," she murmurs quietly. "That sounds about right."

His smile falters. "What?"

Karina blinks, the pensive look on her face replaced by a smile that looked all too innocent. 

"Anyway," she says before he could think about what she’d said any further. "Four years is a long time."

"Yeah, I keep joking I'm going to marry her after finals." 

Karina's smile falters, only for a second, but long enough that he wonders if he'd said something strange. And for the first time since they'd started talking, Karina looks away. 

Just briefly, but long enough. 

"After finals?" 

"Figured I'd let her survive statistics first," he replies, laughing at his own joke.

For several seconds, neither of them speaks. Karina lowers her gaze to the coffee mug in her hands, then laughs softly. Not because anything is funny. Just because sometimes that's all you can do.

Finally, she sets the mug down. "I've got a few more viewings this week."

The words catch him slightly off guard. "Oh."

"I hope you understand."

"Yeah, of course." He immediately nods. "I get it."

And he does, rationally. But disappointment still settles heavily in his stomach.

Karina studies him for a moment.

"I'll let you know."

"Right."

He forces a smile.

"Well, thanks for showing me around."

"Mm."

He pushes himself away from the counter and reaches for his jacket draped over one of the dining chairs. The apartment suddenly feels different now. Less like a solution and more like another possibility slipping through his fingers.

Same old, same old.

The walk to the front door feels shorter than it should.

Karina follows him, hands tucked into the front pocket of her hoodie.  "Good luck with the apartment hunt."

He lets out a laugh. "At this point I think I'm just collecting horror stories."

Karina smiles, and for a moment, standing by the door, she almost looks like she's about to say something else. Instead she simply opens it. "Take care."

"You too."

Then he's gone.

The door clicks shut behind him. Silence, the unnerving kind.

For several long seconds, Karina remains standing exactly where he left her.

The thought arrives uninvited.

Four years.

She closes her eyes. Four years of birthdays, late-night phone calls, celebrations, and bad days. Four years of memories she hadn't been there for. Four years that belonged to somebody else.

And somehow, despite all of it, Aeri still smiled exactly the same. Still drank her coffee the same way, still worked herself half to death, and still convinced herself she was failing every exam she'd ever taken.

A humourless laugh escapes her. "You idiot."

Karina reaches for her phone.

Her thumb hovers over a contact she hasn't opened in months. Aeri. Just seeing the name hurts. She could call. She should reply to the message she’d left on read. Tell her she's back, tell her she'd finally come home - tell her everything.

Instead, she finds herself thinking about the fondness in his voice as he talked about her. The love in his eyes as he showed her Aeri’s picture. 

A bitter taste settles in her mouth. 

While Karina had spent years on the other side of the oceans convincing herself distance was temporary, that timing was the problem, Aeri was living. Happily. 

Eventually, she unlocks her phone. Not to call Aeri. Instead, she opens his rental application. She reads it once, then again, as the silence stretches.

By the time she finally sets the phone down, the sun has begun disappearing behind the skyline. And somewhere deep inside her, a terrible idea has already started taking shape.

His phone rings two days later, the timing alone is enough to make his stomach drop.

For a split second, he genuinely considers letting it go to voicemail. Apartment hunting had become an exercise in disappointment. Every unknown number now carried the potential to ruin his day.

Instead, he answers. "Hello?"

"Hi."

He immediately recognises the voice. Karina. Something in his chest tightens, the feeling of anxiety only becoming stronger. 

"Hey."

She pauses. Not awkwardly, but they way somebody trying to decide exactly what they want to say does.

"I wanted to call rather than email."

His grip on the phone tightens. "Right."

"The room's still available."

For the moment, he doesn’t reply. Available. The choice of words makes him hopeful. Not rejected or unavailable. 

"That's... good." 

Karina laughs softly. "It is."

She pauses again, before eventually speaking "I wanted to ask if you'd be willing to come back." 

His brow furrows. "Come back?"

"Another applicant dropped out. Things have changed a little." 

Something about the way she says it feels weird. Not enough to set off any alarm bells, but enough that it really gets his attention.

"What changed?"

"I'd rather explain in person."

His eyes drift toward the living room, toward Aeri curled sideways on the couch beneath a blanket. Fast asleep with three textbooks spread around her. One hand still clutching a highlighter.

His chest aches. "When?" he asks quietly.

The answer comes immediately.

"This evening."

The second time he visits the apartment, Karina opens the door before he even has a chance to knock. That should’ve been the first clue that something was different. The second should’ve been her lack of smile. Well, immediately, anyway.

The first time he'd met her, she'd seemed relaxed. Easy-going. The kind of person who filled silences naturally. Today, she looks distracted. Not nervous, not upset, just elsewhere. Like she had a lot on her mind.

"Hi."

"Hey."

For a moment neither of them moves, then Karina steps aside.

"Come in."

He steps inside. Nothing has changed. Same furniture, same plants by the glass, same ceiling to floor windows that illuminate the space. Yet something feels different, somehow. Absent of the warmth of the first time. 

The silence stretches as Karina closes the door behind him.

"You wanted to explain something?" he asks eventually.

"Yeah."

She doesn't elaborate, instead she walks to the kitchen.

He follows her into the kitchen. A kettle sits on the stove, already steaming. Of course it is. For some reason, that detail unsettles him more than anything else.

Karina reaches for two mugs without asking whether he wants anything. The same mugs as last time. The same counter. The same apartment.

Yet the atmosphere feels entirely different. Like returning to a familiar place only to discover somebody has quietly moved all the furniture an inch to the left. 

Karina stares down into her tea for several seconds. Long enough that he begins wondering whether she'd changed her mind entirely, long enough that he considers filling the silence himself.

Eventually, she speaks. "How's your girlfriend?"

The question catches him slightly off guard. "Aeri?"

Karina's mouth twitches. "How many girlfriends do you have?"

Despite everything, he laughs. "A valid point."

"How's she doing?"

He smiles automatically. "Stressed."

"Still studying?"

"Pretty much twenty-four seven."

A faint laugh escapes her. "Sounds like Aeri."

His brow furrows slightly. "What?"

Karina's eyes lift immediately. "Nothing."

A beat passes.

"I mean, sounds like every student during finals."

The explanation makes sense. Mostly. He lets it go.

Karina wraps both hands around her mug. Not drinking. Just holding it. The silence stretches again. It isn't exactly uncomfortable, just strange.

The first time he'd visited, conversation had flowed easily. Today every topic seemed to arrive with a split-second delay, as though Karina was carefully choosing which version of herself to present.

Karina eventually looks up and speaks. Quietly. Almost casually. "So."

Something in her voice had changed. Only slightly, but enough to unnerve him. 

"So," She takes a sip of tea then sets the mug down and looks directly at him. "If I offered you the room today..."

The words hang there.

"...how badly would you say you need it?"

The question lands strangely. Not because it’s inappropriate, but because it’s impossible to answer casually.

He lets out a small laugh. "Pretty badly."

Karina doesn't smile. "That's not an answer."

He shifts slightly. "I mean..." He rubs the back of his neck. "We're not gonna be homeless or anything."

Karina studies him for a moment.

"We're not gonna be homeless or anything," he repeats, though even to his own ears it sounds less convincing the second time.

"No?"

He shrugs. "We'll figure something out."

Karina's fingers tap lightly against the ceramic mug. Once. Twice. Three times. A steady rhythm. "Hm," she says eventually.

The sound settles heavily between them, Karina stares down into her tea.

"How's Aeri handling all of this?"

The question feels different somehow. More personal.

He rubs a hand across the back of his neck. "Not great."

Karina says nothing. Maybe that's why he keeps talking.

"She's trying really hard not to think about it," he says. "Which mostly means she studies until two in the morning and pretends statistics are a bigger problem."

Karina's eyes lower. "That sounds like her."

His brow furrows. There it is again, that weird feeling. The same one he'd gotten during the first viewing. Like she was talking about somebody she actually knew.

Before he can question it, Karina speaks again. "Do you love her?"

The question lands so abruptly that he actually blinks. "What?"

"Do you love her?"

For a moment he just stares. Then he laughs. Not because it's funny, but because it's such a ridiculous thing to ask.

"Yeah."

Karina doesn't react. "Yeah?" she repeats.

"Obviously."

Karina looks down at her tea, the steam has already started fading. "That's unfortunate."

"What is?"

Karina lets out a quiet laugh. "Nothing."

For several seconds, neither of them speaks.

Karina stares down at the tea she hasn't really touched. Across from her, he waits for an explanation that never comes.

Eventually, he clears his throat. "You realise you’re being weird, right?"

A laugh escapes her. "Mhm."

The immediate agreement catches him off guard.

"You know you're being weird?"

"Painfully aware."

"Okay." He shifts slightly. "That's somehow worse."

Another small laugh, then silence. Again.

The apartment feels too quiet.

Karina traces a finger slowly around the rim of her mug. For several seconds, neither of them speak.

Then, quietly, she asks, "She'd lose her scholarship, wouldn't she?"

The question catches him off guard. "How’d you know about her scholarship?"

"You mentioned it last time."

His chest feels tight. He didn’t remember mentioning it, but he decided to let it slide. Maybe he was just misremembering. Stress.

Karina's gaze remains fixed on the tea in front of her.

"If she fails, she’d lose it right?"

The room suddenly feels very quiet.

"Yeah," he admits.

Karina nods once. "That's what I thought."

Something in her expression shifts. Not satisfaction, not sympathy either. Just the look of somebody fitting another piece into a puzzle they'd already been building.

He shifts in his seat. "She's not going to fail."

"No?"

"No."

Silence settles over the kitchen again. Eventually she speaks. "You said something last time."

He looks up. "What?"

"When you were here."

Her gaze remains fixed on the mug. "You said she'd live in a cardboard box if it meant finishing her degree."

A small smile tugs at his mouth. "That sounds like something I'd say."

"You also said she's everything."

He laughs softly. "Yeah."

Karina finally looks up. "And you meant it."

Karina nods once, slowly. "Would you do anything for her?" she asks quietly.

The question catches him off guard.

"What?"

"Anything."

Her voice remains calm. Casual, almost, but there's something underneath it now - something he can't quite identify. 

He shifts in his seat. "I mean..." A faint smile pulls at his mouth. "Within reason."

Karina doesn't smile back. "That's not what I asked."

The amusement fades slightly. For several seconds he simply looks at her, and Karina waits patiently.

"Yeah," he says eventually. The answer comes more easily than he'd expected. "Yeah, I'd do anything for her."

Something flickers across Karina's face, gone before he can identify it.

"Anything?"

His brow furrows. "Why do you keep saying it like that?"

Karina looks away. For a moment she studies the surface of her tea, and then she laughs softly. Not because he'd said anything funny or because she was amused. Just the tired laugh of somebody finally arriving at a conclusion they'd been trying desperately to avoid.

She closes her eyes briefly, then looks at him, really looks at him for the first time since he'd arrived.

"Okay," she says quietly. "I think I believe you."

Karina nods slowly. Once, then twice, almost like she's confirming something to herself.

The apartment is quiet except for the hum of the refrigerator.

"Good," she says eventually, her voice sounding tired. "Because if you didn't love her, this conversation would be a lot easier."

A knot forms in his throat before he can explain why. For the first time since arriving, he has the distinct feeling that he was missing something important.

"Karina."

She doesn't look away.

"What conversation?"

For several seconds, Karina doesn't answer. She looks tired, not physically, but the kind of tired that settles deep into someone's bones.

Eventually, she lets out a slow breath. "The room is yours."

The words catch him completely off guard. "What?"

"The room." She gestures vaguely around the apartment. "You can have it."

Relief hits so suddenly it almost makes him dizzy. For one brief, glorious moment, nothing else matters. The apartment, the deadline, the eviction notice, Aeri asleep over textbooks, the scholarship - all of it is gone, replaced by one overwhelming thought: Thank fuck.

"Seriously?"

Karina nods.

His laugh escapes before he can stop it. "Karina, that's-"

"I haven't finished."

The relief stutters. Not gone. Just interrupted.

Slowly, she reaches for her mug again. "There's a condition."

There it is. The catch. He almost laughs, because of course there was a catch. There was always a fucking catch. "What kind of condition?"

Karina studies him over the rim of her mug. For several long seconds she says nothing. Eventually, she speaks again. "Be honest with me."

His brow furrows. "About what exactly?"

"Everything."

The answer only confuses him more. Karina lowers the mug. "You said you'd do anything for Aeri."

Something uncomfortable twists in his stomach. "I said within reason."

"Then let's talk about reason."

The apartment suddenly feels smaller, like the walls have shifted closer while he wasn't looking. Karina folds her arms across her chest. "If you lose this apartment," she says quietly, "what happens?"

He hesitates. "We keep looking."

"And if you don't find anything?"

"We'll find something."

"That's not a proper answer."

His jaw tightens. Karina watches him carefully. Patiently. Waiting.

Eventually he exhales. "I don't know." The words taste awful.

Karina nods. "And if Aeri fails?"

"She won't."

"If she does."

His throat feels dry. He doesn't answer because suddenly he can picture it: the scholarship disappearing, the tuition, the debt, the panic. The way she'd blame herself. The way she'd smile and pretend she was okay while quietly falling apart.

Karina watches every expression cross his face. Every single one. "I thought so."

Something about that makes irritation spark, the question coming out sharper than intended. "What exactly are you doing?"

Karina doesn't react. "Trying to understand you."

"Why?"

A humourless laugh escapes her. "Because I need to know if you're the person I think you are."

He stares. "What does that even mean, Karina?"

For a moment she says nothing, simply staring at him before speaking again. "Because if I do this, I don't get to take it back."

The knot in his stomach tightens. "Do what?"

Karina looks away, out toward the skyline, toward the city beyond the glass. When she speaks again, her voice is almost unbearably quiet. "Tell me something."

A ringing sound echoes around his ears. "What?"

She swallows. "If saving her cost you something... how much would you be willing to lose, to do?"

The silence stretches so long that it becomes its own answer. He stares at her, Karina doesn't look away. For several seconds, neither of them speaks.

"What are you implying?" 

Karina laughs once. A humourless sound. "I think you know."

His stomach drops. "No, absolutely not. No."

The answer comes immediately. Instinctively. Automatically.

Karina nods like she'd expected that answer. "Okay."

That's it. No disappointment, no surprise, no attempt to argue. Just okay.

For a moment, neither of them speaks. Then he pushes back from the counter. "Okay?" he repeats.

Karina shrugs lightly. "You said no."

"Yeah, because that's insane."

"Mhm."

The calmness in her voice makes something hot flare in his chest. "No, seriously, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?"

Karina doesn't react.

"I invited you here because I wanted an honest answer," she says. 

"You invited me here because you wanted to ask if I'd cheat on my girlfriend."

The words echo through the apartment. Karina folds her arms, her gaze steady. "I wanted to know if you would."

Anger surges so fast it almost catches him off guard. "Why?"

"I was curious."

"Curious."

"Yes."

He lets out a sharp laugh. "That's your explanation?"

Karina doesn't answer, and his jaw tightens. For the last week he'd been dragging himself across the city looking at apartments, listening to landlords talk about application fees, waiting lists, and rent increases. He'd been watching Aeri slowly work herself into the ground trying to balance finals and the possibility of losing their home. And now this: some rich stranger sitting in a luxury apartment asking him how much he loved his girlfriend.

"You know what's really confusing?" he asks.

Karina raises an eyebrow.

"You told me you study psychology."

The corner of her mouth twitches. "Masters, actually."

"Right. Psychology." He gestures vaguely toward her. "And yet somehow you've arrived at extorting desperate people for sex."

Karina doesn't react.

"If anything, I'd expect that behaviour from somebody who failed psychology."

A short laugh escapes her.

"I'm serious," he says.

"I know."

"No, seriously. You're sitting here asking hypothetical questions like you're conducting some kind of social experiment." Karina looks away, and his frustration only grows. "Is this what they teach you in graduate school? Because if it is, I want my taxes back."

Another reluctant laugh.

"Good. Glad you're amused."

"I'm not amused."

"Then what are you?"

For the first time, Karina hesitates.

The pause is small, but it's there. Suddenly he feels a flicker of something beneath the anger - not confidence, not manipulation, but something messier. Something that looks suspiciously like regret.

Unfortunately, that doesn't make her sound any less insane.

"You have a master's degree in psychology," he says slowly.

"Mm."

"And your grand plan was this?"

Karina closes her eyes briefly. "Mm."

He stares at her. "Fucking hell, Karina."

"What?"

"You are clinically fucking insane."

"Yeah, that's been the general consensus."

For several seconds, neither of them speaks. Karina stares into her tea while he stares at her like she's grown a second head.

Finally, she lets out a long breath. "You know what's annoying?"

"No, but I'm sure you're about to tell me."

Another laugh escapes her, smaller this time. "I spent two days convincing myself you'd say yes."

His expression immediately hardens. "That's not helping."

"I know."

"At all."

"I know."

The silence stretches between them until, unexpectedly, Karina shrugs. "I'm glad you didn't."

The words catch him completely off guard. "What?"

"I'm glad you said no."

He stares. "Right."

"I'm serious."

"Then why ask?"

"Forget it," she mutters.

"No." The word comes out sharper than he intends, making Karina look up. "No?"

"No." He gestures vaguely between them. "You don't get to ask me if I'd sleep with you for an apartment and then tell me to forget it."

Karina stares at him for several long seconds. For the first time since he’d arrived, she looks drained. Not annoyed, not amused, just completely drained.

"I know," she says quietly.

He lets out a disbelieving laugh. "You know?"

"I know."

"Then explain it to me."

Karina looks away, saying nothing for several seconds before finally whispering, "I thought you'd say yes."

He stares at her.

"You mentioned your girlfriend every five minutes."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

A humourless smile pulls at her mouth. "Exactly."

The answer only confuses him more, but Karina just shakes her head. "I thought you'd love her."

"You thought I'd-" The sentence dies halfway out of his mouth because suddenly, he realises what she's saying. His expression hardens. "You thought I didn't."

"No." Karina swallows. "I thought you did."

The apartment falls silent.

"I thought you'd love her enough to justify it."

For a moment, he doesn't understand. Then he does. And somehow, that feels worse.

The room. The scholarship. The eviction. The stress. Aeri.

Karina hadn't been testing whether he loved his girlfriend. She'd been testing whether there was a limit to that love - whether desperation could outweigh loyalty, whether fear could outweigh principle, whether survival could outweigh trust.

And for the first time since arriving, the anger in his chest gives way to something else: confusion.

Because Karina doesn't look victorious. She looks devastated.

The bus ride home feels longer than usual. Not because of traffic or delays, but because every time he closes his eyes, he sees Karina sitting across from him with her tea untouched.

I thought you'd love her enough to justify it.

The words loop endlessly. He still isn't entirely sure what she meant. Or maybe he understands perfectly and simply doesn't like it. By the time he reaches the apartment, the anger has dulled into something heavier and more complicated.

He unlocks the door as quietly as possible and steps inside. The apartment is silent, and for one brief moment, he thinks Aeri might actually be asleep in bed. Then he sees the living room. 

Aeri is curled sideways on the couch beneath a blanket, one sock missing and her glasses crooked on her face. A statistics textbook lies open across her stomach while several more books and flashcards litter the coffee table around her, a highlighter still clutched loosely in one hand. She'd fallen asleep studying again. 

A sharp stabbing pain appears in his chest. 

Carefully, he sets his keys down. The sound is enough; Aeri stirs almost immediately.

"Hm?" Her eyes blink open slowly. For a second she looks disoriented, but then she sees him and sits upright so fast the textbook slides off her lap. "Oh my God."

Hope. Pure hope. He sees it instantly.

"How'd it go? Was it good?" She is already pushing her glasses back up her nose. "Please tell me the owner wasn’t a serial killer."

He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.

The hope fades first. Not completely, just enough for her to know.

"Oh." The single syllable hurts more than it should. Aeri looks away first. "Oh."

"No, it was-"

"Bad?"

"No."

"Weird?"

He lets out a slow breath. "Very."

Aeri waits. When no further explanation arrives, she sinks back into the couch cushions. "Okay."

The word sounds tired. Not angry, not upset, just tired. It's the kind of tiredness that only arrives after weeks of carrying too much. For what feels like forever, but is more like seconds, neither of them speaks.

Aeri rubs both hands over her face. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"Sending you there."

"Aeri."

"I know you're doing all of this for me."

"Babe-’’

"No, it's okay," her voice cracks slightly, "we’ll be fine."

His chest tightens as Aeri reaches for her textbook again. Not because she wants to study, but because she doesn't know what else to do.

The sight of it makes something inside him ache: the dark circles beneath her eyes, the exhaustion, the scholarship, the apartment. He remembers the way she'd looked relieved when he'd agreed to go, and the way she'd texted him: if this place works out i can actually focus on studying.

He stares at her. And for the first time all evening, the conversation with Karina replays differently. Not the proposition, not the shock, not the anger.

The questions.

What happens if you don't find anything? What happens if Aeri fails? Would you do anything for her?

He'd been so focused on how offensive the question was that he'd never really considered why she'd asked it. Now, sitting in the dim glow of the living room while Aeri tries and fails to keep her eyes open over a statistics textbook, he finds himself staring at the floor.

Because for the first time, a thought slips through the cracks. Not an answer. Just a thought.

If things got bad enough... how far would he actually go?

The realisation makes him feel sick. Because the worst part isn't the question. He'd been offended when Karina asked the question. Sitting here now, he finally understands why. Because the answer had felt obvious then. It doesn't anymore.

The next few days pass in a blur of apartment listings and statistics.

Neither goes particularly well.

Every morning begins with Aeri sitting at the dining table before sunrise. Every night ends with her falling asleep somewhere she isn't supposed to. The couch. The desk. Once, face-down on top of a practice exam she'd been halfway through marking.

By Thursday, she'd stopped pretending she wasn't exhausted.

By Friday, he'd stopped pretending he wasn't worried.

The apartment hunt had developed a familiar rhythm: find listing, get hopeful, open listing, get disappointed, repeat.

Nothing ever stuck. One listing wanted six months' rent upfront. Another was gone before they’d even finished arranging a viewing.

By Saturday morning, they had thirteen days left. Not two weeks, thirteen days. Aeri’s exams started on Monday. 

Saturday afternoon finds Aeri sitting at the dining table, surrounded by flashcards and staring at a practice exam like it had just murdered her entire family.

"I got sixty-two percent."

He looks up. "That's good."

"I need seventy."

"On a practice exam."

"I need seventy."

Silence. 

"What if I fail?"

"You're not going to fail."

"But what if I do?" Aeri replies, tears rolling down her cheeks.

For a moment, he just stares. Not because she's crying, but because Aeri doesn't cry. Not really.

She gets angry. She gets sarcastic. She develops increasingly unhinged coping mechanisms and refers to statistical models like personal enemies. She once spent twenty minutes arguing with a printer because it jammed at an emotionally vulnerable moment.

But crying? That's rare.

The tears seem to surprise her just as much. She wipes furiously at her face. "Sorry."

His heart sinks.

"Babe."

"I don't know why I'm crying."

The lie is terrible, they both know it.

Aeri laughs weakly, immediately betraying herself further. "Actually, no. That's not true. I know exactly why I'm crying."

Another tear slips free. She looks exhausted. 

"I can't do both."

Her voice comes out smaller than he'd ever heard it, the words hitting him harder than anything else she'd said.

"What?"

Aeri gestures helplessly at the practice exam, then toward the laptop sitting open beside it. "The apartment."

Her throat bobs. "The exams."

Another shaky breath. "I keep trying to focus on one thing and then I start thinking about the other."

He watches her stare down at the pages.

"I sit down to study and start wondering where we're going to live," Aeri laughs again, except this time the sound breaks halfway through. "Then I look at apartment listings and start thinking about failing. So now I'm bad at both."

"You're not," he says, his chest feeling tight.

"I got sixty-two."

"On a practice exam."

"I got sixty-two."

The repetition makes something inside him hurt, because she's not talking about the score anymore. She's talking about fear. Failure. The future. Everything.

For several seconds, neither of them speaks. Then, Aeri whispers:

"What if I ruin everything?"

Slowly, he moves around the table. Aeri doesn't look up when he kneels beside her chair, or when he takes her hands. She doesn't look up until he gently squeezes them.

When she finally does, her eyes are red. Exhausted. Terrified.

And suddenly all he can think about is Karina's voice.

If saving her cost you something... How much would you be willing to lose?

The memory makes him feel sick. Because for the first time since that conversation, he understands exactly why the question won't leave him alone. Not because he wants the answer, but because he's starting to become afraid of what it might be.

The apartment is dark except for the faint glow of his phone. Beside him, Aeri is asleep. For once, she isn't passed out over flashcards or slumped over a statistics textbook; she is actually asleep, curled beneath the blankets with one hand tucked beneath her cheek, her breathing slow and even.

He should be sleeping too. Instead, he stares at the ceiling.

The digital clock on the nightstand reads 1:17 AM. Then 1:32. Then 1:48. Sleep evades him.

Beside him, Aeri shifts slightly. Even in sleep she looks exhausted, the dark circles beneath her eyes refusing to disappear. Her exam notes are still scattered across the living room. Thirteen days has become twelve.

Twelve days.

His jaw tightens. Eventually, he reaches for his phone - a mistake. The screen lights up immediately with one unread message.

Karina.

The offer still stands.

Nothing else. No explanation, no pressure, no conditions repeated. Just four words. Four haunting words.

Beside him, Aeri lets out a sleepy sigh and shifts closer without waking. Slowly, he locks the phone again. The room falls dark. Thirty seconds later, he unlocks it. The message remains exactly the same.

His head starts to pound. Because the worst part isn't that Karina sent it. The worst part is that for the first time since she'd asked the question, he didn’t know what his answer was.

He doesn't delete the message immediately. He just stares at it. And somewhere deep inside himself, a part of him he doesn't recognise whispers the same thought it has been whispering all week. 

What if this is the solution?

The thought makes him feel physically sick.

Monday arrives far too quickly.

Aeri has been awake since four in the morning.

He knows this because he'd woken up at five and found her already sitting at the dining table, wrapped in a blanket, staring blankly at a statistics textbook while a mug of coffee went cold beside her.

Now it's eight-thirty, her exam starts in an hour and she's falling apart. Not in a dramatic, loud kind of way. Just slowly, in the way people feel like they're losing their grip on everything they've ever known do.

"Hey."

Aeri doesn't look up. "Hey."

"You okay?"

"No."

The honesty catches him off guard.

Aeri laughs weakly. "No, actually. Not even a little bit."

Her hands are shaking. Just slightly, but enough that he notices.

"I keep reading the same paragraph over and over."

She rubs both hands across her face. "I can't remember anything."

"You know the material."

"I did."

"Aeri."

"I'm serious."

The words come out sharper than intended. Immediately she looks guilty. Which somehow makes everything worse.

"I sit down to revise and all I can think about is the apartment."

Her voice cracks.

"I try to look at apartment listings and all I can think about is the exam."

She laughs, halfway between amusement and despair.

"I can't do this."

His chest tightens. "Aeri-"

"I can't."

For several seconds she stares at the table, then finally whispers "What if I fail because I'm worried about where we're going to live?"

Silence.

"What if I lose my scholarship because of this?"

Another silence.

Aeri wipes angrily at her eyes. "I'm sorry."

He hates that, hates that she's apologising, hates the dark circles beneath her eyes, hates the flashcards.

He hates the eviction notice, Karina, the apartment. He hates every single thing part of their lives during the last month.

He can't take it anymore.

"Aeri."

She looks up.

He doesn't even realise he's made the decision until the words leave his mouth. "I'll fix it."

Aeri blinks. "What?"

"I'll fix it."

His voice sounds strangely steady, calm, certain. The kind of certainty people use when they've already decided something they don't want to examine too closely.

"Aeri." He reaches for her hands. "I promise."

For the first time in weeks, Aeri looks like she could breathe. The change was immediate. Not complete, not enough to erase the exhaustion or the dark circles beneath her eyes, but enough. Her shoulders loosen. She stops staring at her notes like they were written in another language.

"You're sure?" she asks quietly.

The question should've been easy to answer. Instead, something twists painfully in his chest.

"Yeah."

Aeri searches his face for a moment before nodding, and just like that, she believes him. Of course she did. Four years together had a way of doing that.

Half an hour later, he walks her to campus.

The morning air was cold. All around them, students moved in clusters with coffees in hand and headphones in, their conversations drifting across the crowded walkways. Aeri barely seems to notice any of it; she was too busy revising from flashcards she'd already memorised three days ago.

By the entrance to the exam building, she finally stops. For several seconds, she just stands there looking at him. Then, she throws her arms around his waist.

The hug catches him off guard.

"You know I adore you, right?" she mutters into his chest.

The exam building swallows Aeri whole. For several seconds, he remains exactly where she left him. Students continue filing through the doors around him - some laughing, some visibly panicking. One girl is crying into a coffee cup while her friend attempts to explain a formula at machine-gun speed. He barely notices any of it.

You know I adore you, right?

The words replay endlessly. His phone feels heavy in his pocket. For a moment, he considers going home, making coffee, opening apartment listings, and trying again, the same things he’s been doing for weeks. Instead, he finds himself sitting on a bench across from the exam building, waiting.

He isn't entirely sure what he's waiting for. An answer, maybe. A miracle. A sign that he hasn't already made up his mind.

Around him, the city continues moving. A bus pulls up, people cross the street, and someone drops a bag and swears loudly. Life continues.

Then, his phone vibrates.

The sudden movement nearly makes him jump. An unknown number flashes on the screen. His stomach drops before he even looks, but it isn't Karina, it's another landlord regarding the viewing he arranged yesterday.

His pulse quickens immediately. He answers before the second ring. "Hello?"

"Hi, I'm calling about the property on King Street."

Hope arrives so fast it almost hurts. Ten minutes later, it’s gone. Already rented. The viewing was cancelled. Sorry for the inconvenience.

The call ends. He stares at the blank screen, then laughs once, a short, exhausted sound.

Of course. Of course.

Slowly, his thumb drifts downward. Messages. Karina.

The offer still stands.

The screen blurs briefly as he stares at it, his chest tightening. Aeri is currently sitting an exam that might determine the rest of her future. The eviction deadline is eleven days away. They still don't have an apartment.

The message waits. Patient. Silent.

His thumb hovers over the keyboard. For several long seconds, he doesn't type anything.

Then: 

Can we talk?

The moment he presses send, he wishes he could take it back. The message delivers instantly.

Three dots appear almost immediately. As if she's been waiting.

Don't.

His stomach drops as he stares at the screen.

What? 

Don't do this because you're scared.

You said the offer still stands. 

I know what I said.

Then why send it?

Nothing. Thirty seconds pass. A minute, then two. Eventually three dots appear again. 

Because I was angry. 

At me? 

No. 

Then who? 

Myself.

For several seconds, he simply stares at the screen as a gust of cold wind sweeps across the campus courtyard, rustling the jackets of the students who continued filing into the buildings around him.

His phone vibrates again.

How did the apartment hunt go? 

What do you think? 

Bad.

Yeah.

And Aeri?

She's taking her first exam. 

Right now? 

Yeah.

And you're talking to me. 

The message lands like a punch.

Because she's right.

Aeri is currently sitting her statistics final and he's sitting on a bench thinking about another woman. Thinking about apartments, promises, solutions. He closes his eyes, his head hurts. Everything hurts.

I don't know what to do anymore. 

Maybe that’s your problem. 

What is?

You're looking for a solution instead of asking yourself whether you can live with the consequences. 

The exam finishes three hours later.

Students begin spilling out of the building in waves. Some look relieved. Others look traumatised. One guy immediately lights a cigarette despite standing directly beneath a No Smoking sign.

He spots Aeri almost immediately. Mostly because she's walking toward him at speed. Before he can say anything, she throws her arms around him.

"Oh my God."

He laughs softly. "Good?"

"I think so."

The words come out half-laugh, half-disbelief.

"I think it actually went okay."

Relief floods through him so suddenly it almost makes his knees weak.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Aeri pulls back just enough to look at him. "I remembered everything."

The smile on her face is brighter than anything he's seen in weeks.

"I got into the exam and my brain just..." She gestures vaguely. "Worked."

"That's usually how studying works."

"Shut up."

He laughs, Aeri squeezes his hand.

"No, seriously." Her smile softens. "I think not thinking about the apartment helped."

The words hit him like a punch.

"I spent the whole morning convinced I was going to fail." She mumbles. "But then you promised you'd handle it."

Something about the sincerity in her voice makes him feel uneasy.

"And I believed you."

For a moment he can't think of anything to say. Aeri doesn't notice, she keeps talking.

"I know that probably sounds stupid."

"It doesn't."

"It kind of does."

"It doesn't." 

Aeri smiles faintly. "You always look after me."

The guilt arrives so fast it almost makes him flinch, she keeps talking anyway.

"I don't think I realised how much stress I was carrying until this morning."

She glances toward the exam building.

"I walked in there thinking..." She laughs softly. "Okay. Even if everything else is a disaster, at least he's handling that part."

His chest feels tight.

Aeri looks down at their joined hands. "You're so good to me."

The words land harder than anything else and for several seconds he just stares at her as she smiles.

"I mean it."

Another laugh escapes her. "My other exams are still going to be awful."

"They'll be fine."

"No."

"They'll be fine."

"No."

He laughs.

"You don't understand. Statistics was the easy one."

"That feels concerning."

"Mhm, it should."

She hooks her arm through his. "But I think I can do it."

Something catches in his throat. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Aeri leans her head briefly against his shoulder. "Because every time everything falls apart, you somehow fix it."

The walk back toward the bus stop continues. Aeri talks about revision schedules and probability theory and all the ways her next exam is apparently designed specifically to ruin her life. He answers when he's supposed to, laughs when he's supposed to. But the entire time, all he can hear is:

You always look after me.

I believed you.

Every time everything falls apart, you somehow fix it.

By the time he gets home, he already knows what he's going to do.

That evening, Aeri falls asleep over her notes again. He waits until she's asleep then he picks up his phone. His thumb hovers over Karina's contact for several long seconds. Long enough to stop, to change his mind. Long enough to realise he isn't going to.

Can I come over? 

No. 

Don't make me the reason you do this. 

You're not. 

And before he can think too hard about it, before he can talk himself out of it, before he can remember all the reasons this is a terrible idea, he grabs his jacket and heads for the door.

The taxi ride feels shorter than it should. By the time he reaches the building, he can barely remember leaving the apartment. For several seconds he remains standing outside the entrance, staring up at the windows.

Apartment 4A.

The light is on. 

He should leave. He knows that’d be the logical thing to do. The right thing. To pretend none of this had ever happened. Instead, he finds himself walking inside.

The elevator ride is quiet, the only sound he can hear is his own heartbeat racing.

The door opens on the first knock. Karina is standing there.

For several seconds neither of them speaks. Her expression changes the moment she sees him. Not surprise, not relief. Something worse. Disappointment. 

Karina closes her eyes briefly and sighs. "God."

The words land harder than anger would've. He looks away first.

"I know."

"You shouldn’t be here, you should be at home."

The hallway suddenly feels too small. Karina steps back from the doorway anyway. Not inviting him in, just making space. The distinction somehow feels important.

Slowly, he walks past her.

The apartment looks exactly the same, yet somehow it feels colder. 

Karina closes the door behind him, the click echoing around in the dead silence. Neither of them moves.

Eventually she speaks. "How'd her exam go?"

The question catches him off guard.

"What?"

"Aeri." Karina folds her arms before speaking again. "How'd it go?"

He swallows. "Good."

Karina laughs once, a tired, humourless sound. "Of course it did."

He stares at her. "What does that mean?"

"It means she was always going to be okay."

The certainty in her voice feels strange. Personal. Before he can think about that too much, Karina looks away.

"So why are you here?"

The question hangs between them. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Every answer sounds terrible when spoken aloud. The apartment, the scholarship, the eviction notice, Aeri’s tears. 

None of it sounds any better outside his head.

Finally, he laughs once. A hollow sound.

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

He looks away.

Karina nods slowly. "That's the problem."

Silence. 

For several long seconds, neither of them speaks. Karina eventually lets out a slow breath and walks toward the kitchen. Not because she wants tea, but because she doesn't know what else to do.

The familiar sound of the kettle being filled echoes through the apartment. He remains where he is. Standing. Waiting. Feeling strangely like he's about to be sick.

"You should go home."

The words are quiet, matter-of-fact.

He laughs once. Neither of them finds it funny.

"You've said that already."

"And you ignored me."

The kettle clicks on, silence settles between them. Karina stares out through the windows overlooking the city.

"Do you know what's really pissing me off?" 

He doesn't answer, but she doesn't seem to need one.

"You spent an entire week convincing me how much you love her." 

The words aren't cruel. 

"You couldn't stop talking about her."

His jaw tightens. "I know."

"No, I don't think you do."

Karina folds her arms. 

"Because now you’re here trying to turn this into something noble."

The words hit like a slap. Karina's eyes don't leave his.

"Don't stand there and tell yourself you're sacrificing something for her."

For several seconds, neither of them speaks. The kettle clicks off, neither moves to pour the water. 

Karina's gaze stays fixed on him. "You know what's funny?"

He lets out a hollow laugh. "Can't wait to hear it."

"You spent an entire week being angry at me."

His jaw tightens.

"Because I asked the question." Karina gestures vaguely between them. "But now you're here because you've started asking it too."

The words land harder than they should. He looks away. 

Karina laughs once. "There it is."

"What?"

"That look."

"What look?"

"The one where you're already trying to forgive yourself."

His head snaps up immediately. "That's not what I'm doing."

"No?" 

"No." 

Karina studies him for a moment. "Tell me something." 

He says nothing. 

"Where does Aeri think you are right now?" 

For several seconds, he doesn't answer. The silence feels heavy. Karina watches him, and somehow that makes it worse. Because if the answer was harmless, he'd have said it immediately.

Eventually, he looks away. "She's asleep."

The words sound pathetic the moment they leave his mouth. Karina stares at him then she laughs once. Not because it's funny. Because somehow it's worse than she'd expected.

"She's asleep," she repeats quietly.

His jaw tightens.

Karina shakes her head and looks out toward the city beyond the windows. "Jesus Christ."

The disappointment in her voice is almost unbearable.

"Karina-"

"No." She cuts him off immediately. "No."

The apartment falls silent.

Karina folds her arms tighter across her chest. 

"If she called you right now," she asks quietly, "would you answer?"

The question lands like a punch.

He blinks. "What?"

"If Aeri called right now." Karina gestures vaguely toward the phone in his pocket. "Would you answer?"

His stomach drops. "Of course I would."

Karina studies him, and for a moment she doesn't speak. She eventually breaks the silence again, eyes not leaving him. "Immediately?"

The word hangs between them. His mouth opens then closes. Karina notices. She always seems to notice. 

A humourless smile appears briefly. "There it is."

Anger sparks instantly. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you had to think about it."

"I didn't."

"You did."

"I didn't."

Karina laughs softly. "You keep telling yourself that."

Silence. Because she was right. He had. 

"You know what the worst part is?" she speaks again. 

He doesn't answer.

"I don't think you're here because you want the apartment anymore."

For the first time since he arrived, something cold settles in his stomach. Because he already knows where this is going. Karina does too.

"I think you're here because you've spent so long thinking about the question that you need to know what your answer is."

For several seconds, neither of them speaks. The kettle sits forgotten on the counter as Karina watches him. A long breath escapes her.

"Go home."

He remains exactly where he is.

Karina lets out a humourless laugh and shakes her head.

"Seriously."

His jaw tightens, unable to find the right words to answer. 

Karina folds her arms tighter across her chest. "You know what makes this even sadder?" 

He doesn't answer.

"The apartment isn't even the part that's scary anymore."

His breath stutters, because he knows exactly what she means. Neither of them mentions it.

Silence consumes the apartment again. 

Eventually, Karina speaks again.

"If you stay here tonight," she says softly, "at least have the decency to admit you're doing it for yourself too."

The words land like a physical blow. His head lifts immediately.

"What?"

Karina finally looks at him, really looks at him. Not with anger, or even disappointment anymore, just exhaustion.

"You keep talking about Aeri," she says, the name sounding strangely gentle coming from her. "Her scholarship, her exams, the apartment, the stress. And all of that's real."

The silence stretches between them.

"But don't stand here and pretend that's the whole truth."

His chest feels tight. "Karina-"

"No," she cuts him off immediately. "Because if this was only about Aeri, you would've gone home. If this was only about the apartment, you would've signed the first terrible lease you found. If this was only about the scholarship, you would've found another way."

Something cold settles deep in his stomach.

Karina takes a slow, steady breath, her gaze never leaving his. "So don't come into my apartment and pretend I put those thoughts in your head."

The words land harder than anything else she'd said. Something hot and ugly flares in his chest.

"Really?"

Karina's expression doesn't change. "Really."

A laugh escapes him. Sharp and disbelieving. "You ask me if I'd sleep with you for an apartment."

"Yes."

"You send me a message."

Karina says nothing.

"You spend two weeks getting inside my head and now you're acting like none of this has anything to do with you?"

For the first time, something flashes across her face. Anger. Brief, but unmistakable. "I didn't make you get in a taxi."

The apartment falls silent.

"I didn't make you leave your apartment."

Another silence.

"And I certainly didn't make you knock on my door."

Each sentence lands like a blow, because she isn't raising her voice. She doesn't need to.

His jaw tightens.

"You know what?" he laughs again, the sound hollow. "You're unbelievable."

Karina folds her arms. "Maybe."

"No, seriously." He takes a step forward. "You sit there acting like you've got some kind of moral high ground."

"I never said that."

"Could've fooled me."

Karina shakes her head. "That's not what I'm doing."

"Then what are you doing?"

"What do you want me to say?" 

The question echoes around the apartment.

"What?"

"What do you actually want from me?"

The exhaustion in her voice catches him off guard. 

"You came here."

Another step.

"You ignored every opportunity to leave."

Another.

"And now you're standing in my kitchen looking at me like this."

"Like what?"

Karina lets out a short laugh.

For several seconds, neither of them speaks. The words settle heavily between them. Karina's chest rises and falls slowly. Once. Twice. He realises that he's standing far too close.

Something in him snaps. Maybe it's the disappointment. Maybe it's the pity. Maybe it's the fact she keeps looking at him like she already knows exactly what kind of person he is. Before he can think better of it, he closes the distance between them. Karina goes still.

The kiss is brief. Awkward, almost. Not because he doesn't know what he's doing, but because she doesn't move. Doesn't lean into it, doesn't kiss him back.

For one terrible second, that's enough. Reality crashes back into him all at once. Aeri asleep in their apartment. Her exams, the promise he'd made. The look on her face when she'd said, I believed you.

He pulls away immediately. 

The silence afterward is deafening. Karina stares at him for several long seconds. There is no triumph on her face. No satisfaction. If anything, she somehow looks even more exhausted than before.

Slowly, she lets out a breath. "It's not too late to leave."

The words are quiet, not angry, not pleading, just true.

His chest rises and falls heavily. Neither of them moves.

"You can still go home," Karina says.

The apartment feels impossibly still.

He thinks about the taxi downstairs, about the elevator, about the short walk back to the street. How easy it would be. He could leave right now, walk out of this apartment and spend the rest of his life pretending this moment never happened.

Karina watches him carefully. Waiting. Not for him to stay. Waiting to see what he chooses.

The silence stretches. One second. Two. Five.

The decision settles over him with a horrible sort of clarity. Not because it's right, not because it's justified. Because he's already crossed the line in his head and he knows it.

When he finally looks at her again, something in Karina's expression falters. A tiny flicker of disappointment, sadness, understanding.

And somehow that's worse than anger would've been.

"Don't," she says quietly.

"Why do you even care?"

Silence.

"Karina."

"I just do."

Her words hang in the air, a final, fragile barrier. I just do.

He looks at her, really looks at her, and sees the exact moment she stops fighting the inevitable. The rigid tension in her shoulders bleeds out, leaving her looking impossibly small in the dimming light of the apartment. He knows, with a sickening sort of clarity, that walking away right now would be the right thing to do. He should step backward, open the door, and take the elevator down.

But the thought of the dark apartment waiting for him, of Aeri’s red-rimmed eyes, and the crushing weight of the next twelve days feels too heavy to carry outside this room.

He doesn’t step back. Instead, he reaches out, his fingers catching the edge of her oversized hoodie, pulling her back toward him. This time, when his mouth finds hers, the hesitation is gone, replaced by a sharp, desperate gravity. Karina lets out a jagged breath against his lips, her hands coming up to grip his wrists, first as if to push him away, and then, as her fingers tightened against his skin, pulling him closer.

There’s no triumph in it. It feels less like a conquest and more like two people quietly drowning together, choosing the certainty of the fall over the exhaustion of trying to stay afloat.

For a long time, neither of them move. His shirt lies crumpled on the floor beside the bed. Karina is staring at the ceiling. She hasn't spoken. Neither has he. The silence feels wrong now. Not awkward. Not uncomfortable, just wrong.

Slowly, he sits up. He reaches for his clothes without looking at her. One sock. Then the other. His shirt, his belt. The sound of a buckle sliding through leather seems impossibly loud in the quiet apartment.

Still, neither of them speaks.

He pulls his shirt over his head and buttons it. One at a time, hands shaking.

Karina remains flat on her back, eyes fixed on the ceiling above her. For several seconds, he wonders if she's asleep. Then she blinks. Once, slowly.

In that moment, he realises she's just as incapable of looking at him as he is of looking at her. 

Eventually, he forces himself to stand, reaches for his jacket and walks towards the bedroom door before turning to look at her again. She doesn’t speak, doesn’t move. He swallows hard. 

He walks out of the bedroom without saying anything. Across the apartment to the front door. His hand closes around the handle, and for a second, he hesitates. Not because he wants to stay. Because he suddenly doesn't want to see whatever version of himself is waiting outside.

The door opens and then closes behind him. The click echoes through the hallway. And just like that, it's over. Or at least it should be.

The elevator ride lasts less than a minute. It feels endless. His reflection stares back at him from the mirrored wall. He looks exactly the same. That feels deeply wrong.

The doors open, he walks through the lobby and pushes through the front entrance. Cold air hits him immediately. Three steps, maybe four before his stomach lurches. Violently. He barely makes it to the side of the building before he doubles over.

The first wave comes hard enough to steal his breath. Then another, and another. His hands brace against the brick wall as everything inside him seems determined to empty itself onto the pavement. By the time it stops, his eyes are watering and his throat burns.

Outside nothing has changed, the city remains the same. Inside his mind, everything has changed.

For a long time after the front door closes, Karina doesn't move. The apartment is eerily silent around her. Karina remains flat on her back, staring at the ceiling. The sheets are twisted around her legs. One of his buttons has somehow ended up on the nightstand. She notices it immediately and then spends several long minutes trying not to look at it.

Eventually, she closes her eyes. Because the second darkness arrives, all she can see is Aeri.

Not today, not twenty-three years old and exhausted and drowning in statistics. 

Sixteen. Laughing so hard she nearly fell off a wall behind their school because Karina had attempted to impress her and immediately embarrassed herself instead.

Seventeen. Stealing fries off Karina's plate despite having ordered her own.

Eighteen. Curled asleep in the passenger seat during a road trip, feet tucked beneath her, completely trusting Karina to get them home.

The memories arrive one after another. Relentless.

Karina presses the heel of her hand against her eyes.

"Stop, please stop."

The empty room offers no opinion. She remembers late-night phone calls, birthdays celebrated through screens. Time zones, bad internet connections. Promises.

She remembers spending years convincing herself that distance wasn't permanent. That eventually she'd come home. Back to Aeri.

The problem with eventually was that life kept happening while you waited. Aeri hadn’t paused. Aeri had moved on. Aeri had moved on. Aeri had fallen in love. With someone kind, patient, someone she trusted. 

Karina squeezes her eyes shut harder.

The memory that finally breaks her isn't tonight, it isn't the bedroom. It isn't even him. It's Aeri's photograph on his phone, squinting into sunlight, laughing, happy. 

Karina had spent years imagining what seeing her again would feel like. She never could’ve imagined this. 

The tears arrive quietly. Karina doesn't notice the first one until it disappears into her hair, then another, and another. There is no sobbing, no dramatic breakdown. Just grief. The slow, exhausted kind that arrives when you finally stop lying to yourself.

Because somewhere along the way, she'd convinced herself that coming home would fix something. That seeing Aeri again would fix something. That maybe, somehow, there was still a version of this story where she hadn't missed her chance.

Tonight finally killed that fantasy.

The worst part? She'd dragged somebody else down with her.

Karina opens her eyes and stares back at the ceiling. For the first time in years, she finds herself wishing she'd stayed away.

Not because she regrets loving Aeri. Never that.

Because loving Aeri had always been the easiest thing she'd ever done.

Coming back was the mistake.

The next few days pass in a blur of apartment viewings, phone calls, and rejections. One landlord wanted a guarantor earning five times the annual rent. Another informed him that over a hundred people had already applied. A third never showed up at all.

Each failure felt smaller than the last. Not because they hurt less, but because he was running out of energy to react.

Every morning, Aeri left for another exam. Every evening, she came home exhausted but somehow lighter. The statistics exam had gone well, then the next one, then another. Slowly, the version of Aeri he’d watched unravel over the past month began returning. Not completely, but enough. Enough that she started making jokes again. Enough that she complained dramatically about exam questions instead of staring silently at apartment listings.

Enough that she’d started smiling again.

That was somehow the worst part. Because every time she smiled at him, the guiltier he felt about what he’d done.

One evening, she collapses beside him on the couch after a twelve-hour revision session and rests her head on his shoulder. "I think I'm actually going to pass," she mumbles into his shirt.

He swallows. "Yeah?"

"Mhm." A sleepy smile tugs at her mouth. "You're good luck."

The guilt hits him so hard he nearly stops breathing. Aeri didn't notice; she was already half asleep.

"You always fix everything."

He stares at the television without seeing it. Beside him, Aeri's breathing gradually slows, until eventually she drifts off entirely.

He remains awake long after. His phone sat on the coffee table silent. No messages. No calls. Nothing from Karina. And somehow, that makes everything worse. Because the apartment still exists, the room still exists. What happened was still all too real. But neither of them acknowledged it.

It starts to feel less like a mistake and more like a secret burial. Like they'd both quietly agreed to pretend the body wasn't there.

Then Thursday arrives, a week before the eviction deadline. He was leaving another failed viewing when his phone vibrated. For a second, he almost ignores it.

Then he sees the name.

Karina.

His stomach drops immediately.

The room is yours if you still want it.

No conditions.

I already sent the paperwork.

You should probably stop looking at apartments and focus on helping Aeri survive her exams.

And for what it's worth, I am genuinely sorry.

He stared at the screen. And for the first time since leaving her apartment, he realises something terrifying. The room no longer feels like a solution. It feels like evidence.

Move-in day arrives three days later. Aeri's final exam ends at eleven-thirty. By noon she's helping carry boxes.

"I feel like I've been reborn."

He glances up from the box currently attempting to dislocate both his shoulders. "You finished one exam."

"I finished all of them."

"Right."

Aeri beams. "No more statistics."

"Congratulations."

"No more probability theory."

"Sad."

"No more lecturers that enjoy human suffering."

"I'm pretty sure that's most lecturers."

"True." Aeri adjusts the box balanced against her hip. "But statistics lecturers enjoy it recreationally."

A laugh escapes him.

The building lobby comes into view which makes Aeri stop walking. For several seconds, she simply stares upward. "Oh."

"What?"

"This place is nice. More than nice, actually"

The smile that spreads across her face is immediate. Real.

Good God.

"I thought Karina was secretly going to turn out to be an axe murderer."

"That's reassuring."

"No, seriously." Aeri nudges him with her shoulder. "This is suspiciously nice."

He looks away, Aeri doesn't notice. Why would she? She's too busy grinning at the building like she's just won the lottery. In a way, she probably thinks she has.

The elevator arrives. Aeri steps inside and laughs almost disbelievingly. For the last three days she's been lighter. Sleeping properly. Smiling again. The apartment situation had finally stopped hanging over every conversation.

"We actually did it."

The smile on her face is impossible to look at for too long.

"Yeah."

Aeri grabs his hand. "We actually did it."

His hands feel clammy. Together they drag the final box toward the elevator. Apartment 4A. Breathing seems a little harder suddenly.

Aeri notices. "Nervous?"

"A little."

"Why?"

Good question. One he doesn't answer.

The elevator doors open. The hallway feels shorter than he remembers. Every step toward the apartment makes his chest tighter. Then they stop. Aeri shifts the box in her arms.

"You gonna knock, baby?"

Right.

He knocks, and for several seconds nothing happens. Then the lock clicks and the door opens.

Silence.

Aeri freezes, the box nearly slipping from her hands.

For one terrible second nobody moves. Nobody breathes. Nobody speaks.

Then-

"Jimin?"