Affirmed

The faint light of the laptop screen bathes your face with a subtle glow. The cheers and jubilations around you are muted by your brain as it tries to make sense of the situation. It had been a month since you took the Bar, and now the results have been sent out to each one of the takers. Your’s was already at your fingertips, with just one click you would find out the fruits of your labor. When you decide to finally click on the link, the loading screen feels like a white room of purgatory. When the results finally loaded, everyone in the room with you cheered while your heart dropped when the word appeared on the screen:

PASSED

Your mind went blank. No other thoughts went through your head except for all of the memories of the past 4 years. Every trial and tribulation you experienced in law school flooded your mind, knowing that they all led to this. Every caffeine fueled all nighters you spent either reading or writing cases. Each searing insult and scolding from professors whenever you mess up a graded recitation. All of the tears shed from having to face your failed exams and assignments. Somehow you weathered through each and everyone of those storms and came out to the sunshine you are in now. You’re a bar passer. Hell, you’re a lawyer and God did it feel good to say that. 

You’re shaken out of your thoughts by the cheers and celebrations around you. You remembered that you weren’t the only one in the room. Your family and friends all came over for this occasion, either to celebrate you like they are now, or help in comforting you if it was the other way around. You were met with hugs and handshakes before your dumbass friends decided to dogpile you on the couch. 

Even under the weight of your idiot friends, you manage to lock eyes with her. Jieun. Your fiancée. Your college girlfriend. Your highschool sweetheart. If there was anyone else that could attest to all the hardships you faced, it would be her. She was there with you every step of the way. All the late nights you would spend reading and writing, she was there beside you groggily keeping you company. In the moments where you found yourself breaking down and depressed over failed assignments, exams, and recitations, she was there to comfort you through them and help you back up on your feet. In all the times where you were on the edge of giving up, she was there to help push you forward. You earned this. You’re sure about that. But it wouldn’t have been possible without her. The two of you share a knowing look before being pulled back into the celebrations again. 

After the celebrations die down and everyone has had their fill of food and booze, they all start leaving one by one. Each time the door opens you’re greeted with one last congratulation and you wish them safe travels as you see them out. One by one a friend or a family member leaves, eventually leaving only two people in your apartment, you and Jieun. 

You both plop down on the couch, your social batteries probably depleted by now. You sat there in silence for a good while. On your end, it was mostly because the results still haven’t settled in for you yet. You were still in disbelief. Thankfully you had your wonderful fiancée to bring you back to reality. 

“Congratulations!” Jieun says as she reaches for your hand. “You did it! You’re a lawyer!” She gets giddy with excitement and gives you a bright smile. It felt like sunshine despite it already being deep into the night. You give her a soft smile before you reply.

“I know it’s gonna sound cheesy and cliche…” You say as your gaze goes back to the ceiling, “but we did it, Jieun.” 

“You’re right, it does sound cheesy.” She says as she hits your arm. 

“But it’s true.” You continue as your grip on her hand gets tighter. “You were there with me every step of the way. All of the all nighters. All of the failures, retakes and scoldings. You helped me get back up on my feet whenever I fell down. You kept me going, pushing forward. You helped get me through the moments I wanted to quit. I wouldn’t have succeeded if it wasn’t for you.” 

You both start to get teary eyed because of all the emotions. She comes in close to hug you, and her warmth was everything for you. When she breaks away from the hug, your hand goes to her cheek to keep her from getting farther away. You stare into each other’s eyes before the two of you kiss. It was passionate, heavy, and meaningful. The night became more than just a celebration of your success. It was now a culmination of the love the two of you shared throughout your lives. 

You break off from the kiss to pull her in closer, at first to sit on your lap but she eventually ends up straddling you. You continue kissing her, both of your hands refusing to remain idle. Jieun cups your face as you rest your’s on her waist. She pulls you in deeper, as do you with her. Your kisses start to heat up. It gets a little rougher than how it started. A playful bite to your lower lip here. A quick lick of her lip there. The both of you knew things were about to ramp up, but there was some slight hesitation on her end.

“Babe, I would love to celebrate more tonight, but I have early patient rounds with a professor tomorrow and I don’t want to be late.” She whined a bit after pulling away. She was pouting as well, hinting at some disappointment on her end. You just give her an understanding smile. 

“It’s alright.” You tell her as you stroke her cheek with your thumb. “We’ll have more time to celebrate after your shift, anyway.” You continue to reassure her, “ Besides, you were supporting me the whole time I was working towards passing the bar, it’s only right I give you that support as well while you continue working through your residency.”

She smiles in response before resting her head on your chest. Instinctively, your arms wrap around her in a hug to keep her close. You feel her breathing start to slow down, meaning she found comfort in your embrace. When you hear her start to snore, you chuckle a bit. You pick her up and take her to bed, for her to sleep more comfortably.

You lie down beside Jieun. With adrenaline still running through your system, you found it hard to sleep. Minutes of tossing and turning had you slightly annoyed, especially with your mind racing with thoughts about the future. What are you going to specialize in? Corporate law? Criminal Law? Your mind was cluttered, stopping you from finding any peace before you found yourself staring at your fiancee as she slept. You notice the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes in her sleep, along with the subtle glow of her face in the darkness of your room. You notice every single detail about the woman who has been with you for as long as you can remember. 

Suddenly, all worries about the future were forgotten. At that moment, all you could think about was Jieun. You think about her beautiful face, her soft and white skin, the entirety of her perfection. She has you at peace. Her presence calms you down. Your eyelids start to feel heavier with every passing second. Your mind made it out of the storm by following her light. While slowly losing consciousness, you only have one thought on your mind. Whatever curveballs tomorrow throws your way, you can rest easy knowing that you’ll face it together. 

You bring Jieun in closer to you. You give in to the fatigue, with everything fading to black. The last thing you remember was the warmth of holding her, and the soft smile that forms on her face.